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337 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2007
Now and then, at first, I think I catch people scowling in my direction. They can鈥檛 really mean me, can they?Marie NDiaye's Ladivine was a real discovery for me from the 2016 Man Booker International, and was also shortlisted for the 2017 Best Translated Book Award, so I was delighted that my Two Lines Press subscription included another NDiaye novel, Heart Hemmed In (published earlier in the original).
We're convinced of our innocence, but ashamed all the same.Her confusion is not helped by the fact that others, even those less hostile, seem to regard it as too self-evident to require explanation. Her pharmacist tells her:
That's what you must understand, oh please won't you understand, that ... there's nothing special about you and your husband. It's not you, not exactly you that this ugliness is attacking, and besides, who around here even knows you? Apart from a few people, who, like me ... But no, it's not you, it's ... how can I put it ... the untouchability of what you are, your ... your stiffness, your purity, your manner, your habits, oh, how can I put it."Although as even Ange points out to Nadia, she may simply not be seeing what is obvious:
"We're exactly like you," I say.
"So you think," she says, "but, oh God, you don't understand, and I don't know how to ... you're so different, so profoundly ... excessive."
The trouble with you is you only know what you want to know.As we discover more of Ange and Nadia鈥檚 life we see that they do indeed set themselves apart. Nadia herself calls it 鈥� in a wonderful phrase: arrogant conjugal seclusion.
that choice of name, "Souhar", which I can't think about without feeling a pain like a kick to the stomach, which is to say a humiliating, undeserved pain, as well as a violent one."The novel, as with Ladivine, takes a hallucinatory twist. Noget鈥檚 support involves feeding them such gourmet food that Nadia worries he is fattening them up to some sinister end: only for it to appear that her increasing weight might actually be due to a rather disturbing pregnancy. She eventually visits her son, only to find that his wife has mysteriously disappeared to be replaced by another creepily controlling woman who closely monitors his every move, and that he doesn鈥檛 want to discuss where his baby daughter now lives.
And my heart is cornered, surrounded by the baying pack, and it鈥檚 hammering on the wall of my chest, wishing it could break out of its cramped cage, my poor aging heart, my poor trembling heart. I was born right here in Bordeaux, in Les Aubiers neighbourhood; I鈥檝e spent my whole life in this city, and I love it with a fraternal tenderness, like a human soul mate. But now I find Bordeaux slipping away from me, enigmatically shunning my friendship, its streets seemingly changing their look and direction (is it only the fog? I ask myself), its citizens grown hostile over the past few months (and I鈥檇 gotten used to that and it had, over time, become bearable), seeming no longer to hate me exactly, but to be stalking me.Although from these rather disturbing developments, NDiaye actually brings the novel to a surprisingly 鈥榟appy鈥� conclusion.
But are they, like me, also thinking: I want nothing to do with all that?
鈥�... I feel like the only one around here who hasn鈥檛 figured out what it is that鈥檚 so terribly momentous! Oh, but I鈥檓 not going to spend all my time begging forgiveness for everything I鈥檓 evidently somehow doing wrong.鈥�Like the protagonist, I just want to know what all this means, but the book revels in its murkiness and taunts. I鈥檓 abandoning this at 40%, just under 100 pages in. My heart hemmed in, my eyes glazed over, my threshold for tedium exceeded long, long ago ...
鈥淲hat are you trying to prove?鈥� I say, in deep trepidation.This is a fine translation. I鈥檓 impressed by Jordan Stump鈥檚 vocabulary and control of the style and atmosphere. The story isn鈥檛 working for me, though. It鈥檚 reminded me of Kafka鈥檚 The Castle since the first pages, a book I disliked intensely. My reading experience with this book is too close to the disorienting and nightmare experience of the protagonist, Nadia, and I want out. It鈥檚 distressing, it鈥檚 inscrutable, more than anything it鈥檚 scornfully and derisively mocking.
鈥淒on鈥檛 be so supercilious,鈥� Gladys tells me.
鈥淲hen you don鈥檛 know what you鈥檙e talking about, you keep your mouth shut,鈥� I whisper fiercely. 鈥淭hese things you鈥檙e telling me don鈥檛 make any sense. What am I supposed to do with this nonsense?鈥�If I鈥檓 going to compare this to Kafka, on paper it should be more reminiscent of The Trial (the characters have been accused and condemned by their community for something apparently self-evident that no one will clue them in on) or The Metamorphosis (seemingly overnight, Nadia and her husband, Ange, begin to represent something hideous, inspiring intense repugnance), both of which I liked. But, no, for me it鈥檚 The Castle all over again, a book I forced myself to finish for nothing, it turned out.
we're convinced of our innocence, but ashamed all the same.perhaps even more haunting and unsettling than her previous novel, the mesmerizing , marie ndiaye's my heart hemmed in (mon c艙ur 脿 l'茅troit) is the arresting, distressing tale of nadia, her husband, and two lives unwinding out of control. the french/senegalese writer crafts a paranoid, perturbing milieu that infuses every sentence of her story with an inescapable, yet ill-defined foreboding. with my heart hemmed in, the prix goncourt winner further establishes her well-deserved reputation as an innovative, extraordinary talent. her prose, her characters, her pacing, her psychological intuition, everything about an ndiaye novel delights (if not disturbs). what more could it possibly take for stateside audiences to recognize the breadth and brilliance of this gifted writer?!
we finish our meal in silence, each aware of the fear gnawing at the other but neither daring to speak of it openly, because we're both used to peace and serenity, an untroubled understanding of everything around us, and so, in a way, our own fear offends us, like something unseemly and out of place.