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336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1982
" 賲賳 毓賱賲賳丕 丕賱睾卮 廿賳 賱賲 鬲賰賳 丕賱丿賵賱丞責 賰賷賮 賰丕賳 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 賳毓乇賮 亘胤乇賷賯丞 兀禺乇賶 兀賳 丕賱賲丕賱 丕賱匕賷 丕丿禺乇鬲賴 孬賱丕孬丞 兀噩賷丕賱 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 賷氐亘丨 賮噩兀丞 亘賱丕 賯賷賲丞 賮賷 睾囟賵賳 兀爻亘賵毓賷賳貙 賵兀賳 鬲爻賱亘 丕賱兀爻乇 賲賳 賲乇丕毓賷賴丕 賵賲賳丕夭賱賴丕 賵丨賯賵賱賴丕 丕賱鬲賷 賰丕賳鬲 賲賱賰賴丕 賱賲丕卅丞 毓丕賲 責
亘丨賯 丕賱賱賴 賱丿賷賳丕 丿毓賵丞 賯賵賷丞 噩丿丕賸 囟丿 丕賱丿賵賱丞 貙 賵爻賵賮 賳賮賵夭 亘賴丕 賮賷 丕賶 賲丨賰賲丞 ! 賱丕 賷賲賰賳賴丕 兀亘丿丕賸 兀賳 鬲爻丿丿 丿賷賳賴丕 丕賱賲乇賷毓 賱賳丕貙 賵賱丕 賷賲賰賳賴丕 兀賳 鬲乇丿 賲丕 爻賱亘鬲賴 賲賳丕."
孬賲丞 丿乇噩丞 胤亘賷毓賷丞 賲賳 丕賱囟睾胤 賷賲賰賳 賱丕賶 賲丕丿丞 兀賳 鬲鬲丨賲賱賴丕. 賱丿賶 丕賱賲丕亍 丿乇噩丞 賷睾賱賷 毓賳丿賴丕貙 賵賱賱賲毓丕丿賳 丿乇噩丞 鬲賳氐賴乇 賮賷賴丕貙 賰匕賱賰 賴賵 丕賱丕賲乇 賲毓 毓賳丕氐乇 丕賱乇賵丨. 賷賲賰賳 兀賳 鬲氐賱 丕賱爻毓丕丿丞 廿賱賶 丿乇噩丞 毓馗賷賲丞 賱丕 賷賲賰賳 亘毓丿賴丕 丕賱卮毓賵乇 亘兀賷 賳賵毓 丌禺乇 賲賳 丕賱爻毓丕丿丞. 賵賰匕賱賰 賱丕賷禺鬲賱賮 丕賱兀賲乇 賲毓 丕賱兀賱賲貙 丕賱賷兀爻 貙 丕賱廿匕賱丕賱貙 丕賱鬲賯夭夭 貙 賵丕賱禺賵賮.賲丕 廿賳 賷賲鬲賱卅 丕賱廿賳丕亍 丨鬲賶 賱丕 賷毓賵丿 亘廿賲賰丕賳 兀丨丿 兀賳 賷囟賷賮 廿賱賷賴 卮賷卅丕.
Why breathe this in day after day, knowing that there's another world out there somewhere, the real one, and in herself another person, who is suffocating, being poisoned, in this miasma鈥uddenly she hates everyone and everything, herself and everyone else, wealth and property, everything about this hard, unendurable, incomprehensible life.
When will it be me? When will it be my turn? What have I been dreaming about during these long empty mornings if not about being free someday from this meaningless grind, this deadly race against time? Relaxing for once, having some unbroken time to myself, not always in shreds, in shards so tiny you could cut your finger on them.
Meat too expensive, butter too expensive, a pair of shoes, too expensive: Christine hardly dares to breathe for fear it might be too expensive.
How could she ever wear such splendid and fragile treasures without constantly worrying? How do you walk, how do you move in such mist of color and light? Don鈥檛 you have to learn how to wear clothes like these?
But how can I hide, how can I disappear quickly before anyone sees me and takes offense.
How terrible it is to have to live here, and why, who鈥檚 it for? Why breathe this in day after day, knowing that there鈥檚 another world out there somewhere, the real one, and in herself another person, who is suffocating, being poisoned, in this miasma. Her nerves are jangling. She throws herself down onto the bed fully clothed, biting down hard on the pillow to keep from screaming with helpless hatred. Because suddenly she hates everyone and everything, herself and everyone else, wealth and poverty, everything about this hard, unendurable, incomprehensible life.
"賲賳 丕賳丕 廿匕賳責 胤賷賱丞 爻賳賵丕鬲 賰孬賷乇丞貙 賰丕賳 丕賱賳丕爻 賷賲乇賾賵賳 賲賳 兀賲丕賲賷 賮賷 丕賱卮丕乇毓貙 丿賵賳 兀賳 賷賱賲丨賵丕 賵噩賵丿賷 丨鬲賾賶! 賵賱兀毓賵丕賲 胤賵賷賱丞 賰賳鬲 兀毓賷卮 賮賷 賯乇賷鬲賷 丿賵賳 丕賳 賷賲賳丨賳賷 丕丨丿 卮賷卅賸丕 丕賵 賷賮賰賾乇 賮賷 匕賱賰 丕氐賱賸丕. 賴賱 賷賰賵賳 丕賱賮賯乇 丕賱賲賳賴賰 亘睾卮丕賵鬲賴 丕賱賲睾賱賯丞 賴賵 丕賱爻亘亘責 兀賲 丕賳 賴賳丕賰 卮賷卅賸丕 賲丕 賰丕賳 賲丨鬲噩亘賸丕 賮賷 丿丕禺賱賷 賵賯丿 鬲噩賱賾賶 賮噩兀丞 賱賱賳丕爻責 賴賱 賲賳 丕賱賲毓賯賵賱 兀賳賳賷 兀噩賲賱 賲賲丕 賰賳鬲兀毓鬲賯丿 賵兀賰孬乇 兀賳丕賯丞 賵噩丕匕亘賷丞責 賲賳 兀賳丕責 賲賳 兀賳丕 賮賷 丕賱丨賯賷賯丞責"
"丕賱賲禺賷賱丞 鬲賳卮卅 丿賵賲賸丕 賲丕 賴賵 兀賰孬乇 乇毓亘賸丕 賲賳 丕賱賵丕賯毓貙 賵賲丕 爻賷丨丿孬 賷禺賷賮 丕賱賲乇亍 兀賰孬乇 賲賲丕 丨丿孬 賮毓賱賸丕."
when the war has ended but poverty has not. It only ducked beneath the barrage of ordinances, crawled foxily behind the paper ramparts of war loans & banknotes with their ink still wet. Now, it's creeping back out, hollow-eyed, broad-muzzled, hungry & bold, eating what's left in the gutters of war.The prose is amazingly fluid, graceful & at times almost entrancing, taking the reader back to an imperial time when the world was for the few and for the very few. But in the midst of almost unfathomable austerity, one man who plays Schubert & Mendelssohn late at night, when the neighbors are all asleep is described as a calligrapher whose handwriting is "almost Koranic, with its delicate curves & shading, done mostly for the sheer joy of it."
An entire winter of denominations & zeroes snows down from the sky, hundreds of thousands, millions, but every flake melts in your hand. Money dissolves while you're sleeping, it flies away while you are changing your shoes. Life becomes mathematics--a mad whirl of figures & numbers, a vortex that snatches the last of your possessions into its black, insatiable vacuum.
She sits all through the night, frozen with fury. Nothing in the hotel reaches her through the upholstered doors; she doesn't her the untroubled breathing of sleepers, the moans of lovers, the groans of the sick, the restless pacing of the sleepless, doesn't hear the through the closed glass door, the morning breeze already blowing outside; she's aware only that she's alone in the room, the building, all of creation.In the early morning, Christine flees in the threadbare togs she came in, almost unrecognized by the few early risers, returning to her previous, anonymous shell of identity. In time, in the streets of Vienna she meets a former soldier named Ferdinand, who is also bereft of hope, someone "who is not a Boshevik, a Communist, Socialist, Fascist or a capitalist", considering his work his only refuge, except that the work has disappeared & he has been rendered redundant. Seemingly, Ferdinand who once had ideas & a long-thwarted vision for himself, now is seen as merely among the dregs of an empire in decline.
I'm 30 years old & 11 of those years have been wasted. I'm 30 & still don't know who I am. I still don't know what it's all for. I've seen nothing but blood, sweat & filth. I've done nothing but wait & wait some more. I can't take it any longer, being at the bottom & on the outside. It makes me livid & it's driving me crazy. Time's running out while I do odd jobs for other people, while I am just as good as the architect who's telling me what to do. I know as much as the guys at the top. I breathe the same air & the same blood runs through my veins. I just showed up too late. I fell off the train & can't catch up no matter how fast I run.The pair of lonely, disenfranchised but well-meaning souls bond but not in anything resembling a loving relationship; rather, they are more like two shipwrecked figures, clinging to to each other as kindred spirits, without much hope of ever finding a safe haven, a welcoming refuge. In fact, "when they thought of each other, it wasn't with feelings of passion or love but with something like pity--not the way you think of a lovers but rather of a friend in trouble."