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The School of Life: An Emotional Education
How to live wisely and well in the twenty-first century—an introduction to the modern art of emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence affects every aspect of the way we live, from romantic to professional relationships, from our inner resilience to our social success. It is arguably the single most important skill for surviving the twenty-first century. But what does it really mean? One decade ago, Alain de Botton founded The School of Life, an institute dedicated to understanding and improving our emotional intelligence. Now he presents the gathered wisdom of those ten years in a wide-ranging and innovative compendium of emotional intelligence which forms an introduction to The School of Life. Using his trademark mixture of analysis and anecdote, philosophical insight and practical wisdom, he considers how we interact with each and with ourselves, and how we can do so better. From the reigning master of popular philosophy, The School of Life: An Emotional Education is an essential look at the skill set that defines our modern lives.
Emotional intelligence affects every aspect of the way we live, from romantic to professional relationships, from our inner resilience to our social success. It is arguably the single most important skill for surviving the twenty-first century. But what does it really mean? One decade ago, Alain de Botton founded The School of Life, an institute dedicated to understanding and improving our emotional intelligence. Now he presents the gathered wisdom of those ten years in a wide-ranging and innovative compendium of emotional intelligence which forms an introduction to The School of Life. Using his trademark mixture of analysis and anecdote, philosophical insight and practical wisdom, he considers how we interact with each and with ourselves, and how we can do so better. From the reigning master of popular philosophy, The School of Life: An Emotional Education is an essential look at the skill set that defines our modern lives.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published September 5, 2019
3,195 people are currently reading
19.3k people want to read
About the author
The School of Life
163books2,974followersThe School of Life is a global organisation helping people lead more fulfilled lives.
We believe that the journey to finding fulfilment begins with self-knowledge. It is only when we have a sense of who we really are that we can make reliable decisions, particularly around love and work.
Sadly, tools and techniques for developing self-knowledge and finding fulfilment are hard to find � they’re not taught in schools, in universities, or in workplaces. Too many of us go through life without ever really understanding what’s going on in the recesses of our minds.
That’s why we created The School of Life; a resource for helping us understand ourselves, for improving our relationships, our careers and our social lives - as well as for helping us find calm and get more out of our leisure hours. We do this through films, workshops, books and gifts - as well as through a warm and supportive community.
We believe that the journey to finding fulfilment begins with self-knowledge. It is only when we have a sense of who we really are that we can make reliable decisions, particularly around love and work.
Sadly, tools and techniques for developing self-knowledge and finding fulfilment are hard to find � they’re not taught in schools, in universities, or in workplaces. Too many of us go through life without ever really understanding what’s going on in the recesses of our minds.
That’s why we created The School of Life; a resource for helping us understand ourselves, for improving our relationships, our careers and our social lives - as well as for helping us find calm and get more out of our leisure hours. We do this through films, workshops, books and gifts - as well as through a warm and supportive community.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 856 reviews
November 19, 2019
i think everyone should get this book on the day they are born. and then go through living keeping it by their side. i feel like this should become my go-to gift.
smart, soothing, wise, philosophical, direct, daring, kind. truly a must-read for everyone!
smart, soothing, wise, philosophical, direct, daring, kind. truly a must-read for everyone!
April 28, 2023
Recomandările echipei care a redactat volumul (Alain de Botton & Fiii) sînt străvechi și de bun simț. Le repetă clienților orice psihoterapeut (indiferent de natura terapiei).
Sfaturile țin, desigur, de bagajul oricărui individ care dorește să se simtă bine cu el însuși. Sînt sfaturi rezonabile și nu strică nimănui să le verifice și, dacă poate, să le urmeze. Școala face din noi niște „ignoranți din punct de vedere emoțional�. Primim date, informații, ajungem să știm mai multe decît Aristotel, dar nu învățăm să ne strunim trăirile elementare. Am fost și sîntem niște primitivi aroganți, stăpîniți de furii, de invidii, de resentimente.
Dacă inteligența cognitivă a omului s-a consolidat (ne-am exersat îndeosebi abilitățile lingvistice și matematice), sub raport emotiv am rămas la stadiul primatelor. Alain de Botton and Comp. cred că romantismul a dat un nou impuls dezlănțuirii și exhibării emoțiilor. Filosofii stoici (Seneca, Epictet, Marcus Aurelius) ne-au spus altceva, dar noi nu i-am luat în seamă. Au predicat în deșert. Acum tragem ponoasele. Am devenit anxioși, deprimați, irascibilii. Suferim negreșit de „akrasia�, slăbirea voinței. Ne dresăm trăirile negative cu medicamente. Jumătate din viață ne-o petrecem la psihanalist.
Așadar, ce ar fi cel mai bine să facem pentru a ieși din impas? Citiți acest volum! Ca să fiu măcar odată franc, n-am fost foarte încîntat de el, dar asta nu contează...
Sfaturile țin, desigur, de bagajul oricărui individ care dorește să se simtă bine cu el însuși. Sînt sfaturi rezonabile și nu strică nimănui să le verifice și, dacă poate, să le urmeze. Școala face din noi niște „ignoranți din punct de vedere emoțional�. Primim date, informații, ajungem să știm mai multe decît Aristotel, dar nu învățăm să ne strunim trăirile elementare. Am fost și sîntem niște primitivi aroganți, stăpîniți de furii, de invidii, de resentimente.
Dacă inteligența cognitivă a omului s-a consolidat (ne-am exersat îndeosebi abilitățile lingvistice și matematice), sub raport emotiv am rămas la stadiul primatelor. Alain de Botton and Comp. cred că romantismul a dat un nou impuls dezlănțuirii și exhibării emoțiilor. Filosofii stoici (Seneca, Epictet, Marcus Aurelius) ne-au spus altceva, dar noi nu i-am luat în seamă. Au predicat în deșert. Acum tragem ponoasele. Am devenit anxioși, deprimați, irascibilii. Suferim negreșit de „akrasia�, slăbirea voinței. Ne dresăm trăirile negative cu medicamente. Jumătate din viață ne-o petrecem la psihanalist.
Așadar, ce ar fi cel mai bine să facem pentru a ieși din impas? Citiți acest volum! Ca să fiu măcar odată franc, n-am fost foarte încîntat de el, dar asta nu contează...
September 16, 2019
If you’re a long-time fan of the School of Life then there won’t actually be much in this collection of essays that you haven’t already seen. But if you’re new to De Botton’s philosophical capitalist venture, then you’ll find herein a smorgasbord of intellectual medication, concentrated in pill form, equally effective when either taken in small doses, or downed in one.
October 25, 2020
I have mixed feelings about this book, and since this was supossed to be an emotional education the authour clearly hasn't reached his goal with me.
The introduction of the book - about where we stand as a society nowdays (although this is true only for the developed countries and not entirely, when it comes to the role that religion plays in our lives - which is thought to be increasingly small, but personally I don't believe that is the case, since from my own experience I know more religious persons or believers, than agnostics or atheists) and the first chapter s (about the "Self" and about "The others") were interesting to read - sort of a recap of ideas that are out there for quite a while, not provable, but probable, something that makes good sense (although the subchapter about therapy seems heavily biased and idealised).
Then.. it all went downhill when the "Relationships" started, and the authour just started rambling, stating one thing, only to disagree with it later on, stating very confusing ideas about human behaviour in general. I would've been better of skipping this, and the "Work" chapter, which also contained a lot of unuseful informations.
While I asked myself "What the hell is hapenning here?" I arrived at the final chapter "Culture".
Finally, a sigh of relief, everything is on track once again, the comparison between romanticism and clasicism was beautifully described, the potential healing of art was once again stated, and the end was as commonly plain as it could be.
Although Esther Perel is the person who knows what she is talking about when it comes to relationships, and even though I don't feel a bit more educated in terms of my emotional intelligence, there are some positive ideas stated in this book, so I can't say I didn't feel good reading it. And sometimes annoyed, bored, perplexed, and so on.
The introduction of the book - about where we stand as a society nowdays (although this is true only for the developed countries and not entirely, when it comes to the role that religion plays in our lives - which is thought to be increasingly small, but personally I don't believe that is the case, since from my own experience I know more religious persons or believers, than agnostics or atheists) and the first chapter s (about the "Self" and about "The others") were interesting to read - sort of a recap of ideas that are out there for quite a while, not provable, but probable, something that makes good sense (although the subchapter about therapy seems heavily biased and idealised).
Then.. it all went downhill when the "Relationships" started, and the authour just started rambling, stating one thing, only to disagree with it later on, stating very confusing ideas about human behaviour in general. I would've been better of skipping this, and the "Work" chapter, which also contained a lot of unuseful informations.
While I asked myself "What the hell is hapenning here?" I arrived at the final chapter "Culture".
Finally, a sigh of relief, everything is on track once again, the comparison between romanticism and clasicism was beautifully described, the potential healing of art was once again stated, and the end was as commonly plain as it could be.
Although Esther Perel is the person who knows what she is talking about when it comes to relationships, and even though I don't feel a bit more educated in terms of my emotional intelligence, there are some positive ideas stated in this book, so I can't say I didn't feel good reading it. And sometimes annoyed, bored, perplexed, and so on.
October 28, 2019
“We aren’t ever done with the odd business of becoming that most extraordinary and prized of things, an emotionally mature person—or, to put in a simpler way, an almost grown-up adult.�- Alain De Botton
The School of Life: An Emotional Education comprises essays on how to survive in the modern world by mastering our emotions. Alain De Botton founded The School of Life 10 years ago to help people nurture and hone their emotional intelligence, an aspect that remains conveniently overlooked in our modern curriculums. A philosopher and writer himself, Botton understood the importance of emotional health and how its grasp could significantly change the quality of our lives.
This book, which is a comprehensive collection of the writings that the School has produced over the years, is divided into five sections: Self, Others, Relationships, Work, and Culture. Within each section is a wealth of wisdom on how to understand ourselves and our shortcomings better, how to be a kinder version of our present selves in our interactions with those whom we do not know well, how to navigate our relationships with our partners, how to make peace with the work we do, and how culture can truly be our saviour by nudging us towards greater values.
I never come out of De Botton’s work without a deeper understanding of my own behaviour and that of those around me. The fact that his writing is lucid and always comes supported by a plethora of examples is a testament to his perceptive knowledge of human psychology. It’s not every day that someone speaks or write so convincingly about your flaws that you are forced to introspect and (hopefully) tread on the path to improvement.
Highly recommend!
The School of Life: An Emotional Education comprises essays on how to survive in the modern world by mastering our emotions. Alain De Botton founded The School of Life 10 years ago to help people nurture and hone their emotional intelligence, an aspect that remains conveniently overlooked in our modern curriculums. A philosopher and writer himself, Botton understood the importance of emotional health and how its grasp could significantly change the quality of our lives.
This book, which is a comprehensive collection of the writings that the School has produced over the years, is divided into five sections: Self, Others, Relationships, Work, and Culture. Within each section is a wealth of wisdom on how to understand ourselves and our shortcomings better, how to be a kinder version of our present selves in our interactions with those whom we do not know well, how to navigate our relationships with our partners, how to make peace with the work we do, and how culture can truly be our saviour by nudging us towards greater values.
I never come out of De Botton’s work without a deeper understanding of my own behaviour and that of those around me. The fact that his writing is lucid and always comes supported by a plethora of examples is a testament to his perceptive knowledge of human psychology. It’s not every day that someone speaks or write so convincingly about your flaws that you are forced to introspect and (hopefully) tread on the path to improvement.
Highly recommend!
February 29, 2020
“The School of Life: An Emotional Education� is a reassuring and sane voice in the world of constant self-improvement, instant gratification, life-wrecking perfectionism and outdated romantic ideals. A book that so well captures the perplexity of being human that it should be read by everyone.
It is divided into five parts: Self, Others, Relationships, Work and Culture. Those chapters don’t give you any upbeat tips on how to improve yourself or tackle certain situations. Instead, with a bit of very subtle dry humour, they describe the tiny emotional battles each day of being alive makes us face and says that it is okay, you are doing fine. Actually - you are doing your best. Now treat yourself and go take a barefoot walk in the garden and feel the sun on your face because this certainly will do you more good than giving in to another capitalist lure of buying something.
Alain de Botton is an advocate for the tender-hearted. He knows that a harsh word can linger on your mind for days and “getting over things� fast is not something everyone should feel is within their emotional capabilities. He knows ALL the types of arguments we are having in our relationships and with remarkable ease and little help of psychoanalysis shows us that we are hurting in one or more ways and therefore pick a fight. Sure, we all know it is never about the unwashed dishes but how much we analyse our the emotions behind our actions on a day to day basis? Not enough, I dare say.
There is so much to take home from this book that I don’t even know what to point out. I am fairly sure we will see it becoming Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence for the modern era.
It is divided into five parts: Self, Others, Relationships, Work and Culture. Those chapters don’t give you any upbeat tips on how to improve yourself or tackle certain situations. Instead, with a bit of very subtle dry humour, they describe the tiny emotional battles each day of being alive makes us face and says that it is okay, you are doing fine. Actually - you are doing your best. Now treat yourself and go take a barefoot walk in the garden and feel the sun on your face because this certainly will do you more good than giving in to another capitalist lure of buying something.
Alain de Botton is an advocate for the tender-hearted. He knows that a harsh word can linger on your mind for days and “getting over things� fast is not something everyone should feel is within their emotional capabilities. He knows ALL the types of arguments we are having in our relationships and with remarkable ease and little help of psychoanalysis shows us that we are hurting in one or more ways and therefore pick a fight. Sure, we all know it is never about the unwashed dishes but how much we analyse our the emotions behind our actions on a day to day basis? Not enough, I dare say.
There is so much to take home from this book that I don’t even know what to point out. I am fairly sure we will see it becoming Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence for the modern era.
November 3, 2021
This book combines psychology and philosophy to teach emotional intelligence. There is a lot of good advice on how to reduce the stresses and anxieties of the modern world. In particular, the author argues for reducing the influence of romanticism with its emphasis on the primacy of emotions in favor of increasing the influence of classicalism with its emphasis on careful contemplation. The section that I enjoyed the most was one at the end that showed the connection between art and understanding how to live a good life.
One small point that detracts from this book is that the author writes from a privileged position, so some of the issues might seem like rich people's problems. That might make it feel a bit out of touch for those who are not in the upper-middle class or higher.
One small point that detracts from this book is that the author writes from a privileged position, so some of the issues might seem like rich people's problems. That might make it feel a bit out of touch for those who are not in the upper-middle class or higher.
May 24, 2020
This book. THIS BOOK. Saved my life today.
It's only May 24, but it may be my book of the year. It's only 2020, but it may be my book of the century.
My best friend handed it to me because I was weeping inconsolably about a boy who didn't notice me - but also about the pandemic, and my job, and the economy, and my brain. She said this would help - and it did. I feel comforted and validated in a way that I have rarely felt from other people, because this book told me that other people feel this mad most of the time too. 'Almost sane' is what the book says we strive for, by being polite and pessimistic and accepting and hopeful. I am not alone.
"Much anxiety surrounds the question of how good the next generation will be at maths; very little around their abilities at marriage or kindness."
YAAS QUEEN.
"We have the appetites and destructive furies of primitive primates who have come into possession of thermonuclear warheads."
DITTO.
"[The sane] can - at their best - be dryly funny about the tragedy of being human. They lay bare the fears, doubts, longings, desires and habits that don't belong to the story we commonly tell ourselves about who we are."
The core of vulnerability (my least favourite thing).
"Emotional life is never done with showing us how much we might have to suffer for 'small' things."
YOU ARE NOT WRONG THERE
But this was SUCH a revelation
Because I should have suffered terrible abuse and neglect to have turned into such a highly anxious, frantic, fucked-up adult right? Instead of the perfectly pleasant, middle-class childhood I got
NOPE SAYS ALAIN
THAT TIME WHEN YOU ASKED YOUR MOTHER WERE YOU PRETTY AND SHE SAID YOU WERE 'PLEASANT-LOOKING' IS ENOUGH
And that's okay
Jesus Christ I love Alain and his co-pilots SO MUCH
"Maturity involves accepting with good grace that we are all - like marionettes - manipulated by the past. And, when we can manage it, it may also require that we develop our capacity to judge and act in the ambiguous here and now with somewhat greater fairness and neutrality."
This feels like holy writ to me.
"The causes of our primal wounds are rarely outwardly dramatic but their effects are rarely insignificant. Such is the fragile base of childhood that nothing outwardly appalling needs to have happened for us to wind up inwardly profoundly scrambled."
This is one of many times I had to stop and put the book down and hold my heart inside my chest because thank you. Thank you for helping me realise this vital fact.
"[Parents] did not, all the while, ask that we thank them, understand them or show them sympathy. They didn't demand that we enquire how their days went or how they were sleeping at night (they weren't much). They treated us like royalty, so that we would later on be able to submit to the rigours and humiliations of an ordinary life. This temporarily one-sided relationship guaranteed our eventual ability to form a two-sided kind."
No greater paean to parenthood has ever been written.
"Diplomacy seeks to teach us how many good things can still be accomplished when we make some necessary accommodations with the crooked, sometimes touching and hugely unreliable material of human nature."
<3
"We should stop worrying quite so much whether or not people like us, and make that far more interesting and socially useful move: concentrate on showing that we like them."
OH YEAH JUST ATTACK THE CORE OF MY INSECURITY
AND WHY I WAS CRYING ABOUT THAT BOY
he's right though
THE LIST OF 'CLASSICAL' ATTITUDES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
Should be on the log-in screen of Tinder
And in school textbooks
"Two people should see a relationship as a constant opportunity to improve and be improved. When lovers teach each other uncomfortable truths, they are not abandoning the spirit of love. They are trying to do something very true to genuine love, which is to make their partners more worthy of admiration."
WOW.
"The only people we can think of as profoundly admirable are those we don't yet know very well."
SICK BURN.
"Those we love, we honour with our worst moods, our most unfair accusations, our most wounding insults. It is to our lovers that we direct blame for everything that has gone wrong in our lives; we expect them to know everything we mean without bothering to explain it; their minor errors and misunderstandings occasion our sulks and rages. By comparison [...] we are, in the company of our friends, our best selves."
More oof.
"The Classical person pays special attention to what can go wrong. They are very concerned to mitigate the downside. They are aware that most things could be a lot worse. Before condemning a government, they consider the standard of governments across history and may regard a current arrangement as bearable, under the circumstances. Their view of people is fundamentally rather dark. They believe that everyone is probably slightly worse than they seem. They feel we have deeply dangerous impulses, lusts and drives and take bad behaviour for granted when it manifests itself. They simply feel this is what humans are prone to do. High ideals make them nervous."
Ha, well. One thing I congratulate myself on is that this sounds like me.
It's only May 24, but it may be my book of the year. It's only 2020, but it may be my book of the century.
My best friend handed it to me because I was weeping inconsolably about a boy who didn't notice me - but also about the pandemic, and my job, and the economy, and my brain. She said this would help - and it did. I feel comforted and validated in a way that I have rarely felt from other people, because this book told me that other people feel this mad most of the time too. 'Almost sane' is what the book says we strive for, by being polite and pessimistic and accepting and hopeful. I am not alone.
"Much anxiety surrounds the question of how good the next generation will be at maths; very little around their abilities at marriage or kindness."
YAAS QUEEN.
"We have the appetites and destructive furies of primitive primates who have come into possession of thermonuclear warheads."
DITTO.
"[The sane] can - at their best - be dryly funny about the tragedy of being human. They lay bare the fears, doubts, longings, desires and habits that don't belong to the story we commonly tell ourselves about who we are."
The core of vulnerability (my least favourite thing).
"Emotional life is never done with showing us how much we might have to suffer for 'small' things."
YOU ARE NOT WRONG THERE
But this was SUCH a revelation
Because I should have suffered terrible abuse and neglect to have turned into such a highly anxious, frantic, fucked-up adult right? Instead of the perfectly pleasant, middle-class childhood I got
NOPE SAYS ALAIN
THAT TIME WHEN YOU ASKED YOUR MOTHER WERE YOU PRETTY AND SHE SAID YOU WERE 'PLEASANT-LOOKING' IS ENOUGH
And that's okay
Jesus Christ I love Alain and his co-pilots SO MUCH
"Maturity involves accepting with good grace that we are all - like marionettes - manipulated by the past. And, when we can manage it, it may also require that we develop our capacity to judge and act in the ambiguous here and now with somewhat greater fairness and neutrality."
This feels like holy writ to me.
"The causes of our primal wounds are rarely outwardly dramatic but their effects are rarely insignificant. Such is the fragile base of childhood that nothing outwardly appalling needs to have happened for us to wind up inwardly profoundly scrambled."
This is one of many times I had to stop and put the book down and hold my heart inside my chest because thank you. Thank you for helping me realise this vital fact.
"[Parents] did not, all the while, ask that we thank them, understand them or show them sympathy. They didn't demand that we enquire how their days went or how they were sleeping at night (they weren't much). They treated us like royalty, so that we would later on be able to submit to the rigours and humiliations of an ordinary life. This temporarily one-sided relationship guaranteed our eventual ability to form a two-sided kind."
No greater paean to parenthood has ever been written.
"Diplomacy seeks to teach us how many good things can still be accomplished when we make some necessary accommodations with the crooked, sometimes touching and hugely unreliable material of human nature."
<3
"We should stop worrying quite so much whether or not people like us, and make that far more interesting and socially useful move: concentrate on showing that we like them."
OH YEAH JUST ATTACK THE CORE OF MY INSECURITY
AND WHY I WAS CRYING ABOUT THAT BOY
he's right though
THE LIST OF 'CLASSICAL' ATTITUDES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
Should be on the log-in screen of Tinder
And in school textbooks
"Two people should see a relationship as a constant opportunity to improve and be improved. When lovers teach each other uncomfortable truths, they are not abandoning the spirit of love. They are trying to do something very true to genuine love, which is to make their partners more worthy of admiration."
WOW.
"The only people we can think of as profoundly admirable are those we don't yet know very well."
SICK BURN.
"Those we love, we honour with our worst moods, our most unfair accusations, our most wounding insults. It is to our lovers that we direct blame for everything that has gone wrong in our lives; we expect them to know everything we mean without bothering to explain it; their minor errors and misunderstandings occasion our sulks and rages. By comparison [...] we are, in the company of our friends, our best selves."
More oof.
"The Classical person pays special attention to what can go wrong. They are very concerned to mitigate the downside. They are aware that most things could be a lot worse. Before condemning a government, they consider the standard of governments across history and may regard a current arrangement as bearable, under the circumstances. Their view of people is fundamentally rather dark. They believe that everyone is probably slightly worse than they seem. They feel we have deeply dangerous impulses, lusts and drives and take bad behaviour for granted when it manifests itself. They simply feel this is what humans are prone to do. High ideals make them nervous."
Ha, well. One thing I congratulate myself on is that this sounds like me.
December 5, 2019
3.5 Stars!
De Botton may only take credit for the introduction to this book, but you can hear his voice all the way through it. This is a compilation of philosophy, advice and other insights, most of which will be familiar to those who have watched those many videos online or have read any of the books.
I can see both sides of the coin with this book, in one sense I see why the growing franchise can be accused of stating the obvious and repeating old ideas, but on the other hand it gets into some really compelling areas. This covers a lot of ground, but because it tries to cover so many areas it rarely gets to examine them to a satisfying degree, which can be a little frustrating.
I am a fan of de Botton and this brand, but it has plenty of flaws, there is an increasing habit of recycling and rebranding old material and after a while the twee, white, middle class, middle England feel of this book really started to grate on me. But then where would the publishing industry be if it weren’t for twee, white, middle class, middle England?...
Without doubt I enjoyed this collection and got a lot out of it, but I have come across almost all of it before in the SoL’s previous work, so if like me you have read and watched much of the stuff already, there will not be much new in here for you, but if you haven’t come across it before then this is maybe a decent starting place.
Read
April 18, 2021O carte excepțională pe care orice tânăr ajuns la maturitate ar trebui sa o citească. După părerea mea, este un must read. 😊
January 6, 2025
I'm not one for non-fiction, least of all self-improvement books, but with a week-long self-imposed digital screen ban (hence my friends being spammed more than ever) I decided to give the audible version a try. And let me tell you: if it weren't for the ability of listening at almost twice the speed, I'm not entirely certain I would've had the patience to finish it.
And I say this while also fully agreeing that the book was a surprisingly relatable and quotable. It felt somewhat similar to The Antidote, just with a lot more topics touched, albeit quite a bit more superficially. Still, I can totally understand it as being recommended to people suffering of burnout. It definitely had a strong feeling of we're all in this together, even if it doesn't seem like it.
Score: 4/5 stars
Turns out I might stomach self-improvement literature easier in audio format, at 1.5/1.7 speed. Any higher and it starts to sound like a demon summoning, which is not something I want to associate with these types of book.
And I say this while also fully agreeing that the book was a surprisingly relatable and quotable. It felt somewhat similar to The Antidote, just with a lot more topics touched, albeit quite a bit more superficially. Still, I can totally understand it as being recommended to people suffering of burnout. It definitely had a strong feeling of we're all in this together, even if it doesn't seem like it.
... there is no such thing as an intelligent person per se - and probably no entirely dumb one either. We are all astonishingly capable of messing up our lives, whatever the prestige of our university degrees, and are never beyond making a sincere contribution, however unorthodox our qualifications.
Score: 4/5 stars
Turns out I might stomach self-improvement literature easier in audio format, at 1.5/1.7 speed. Any higher and it starts to sound like a demon summoning, which is not something I want to associate with these types of book.
November 5, 2019
WOW. What a Boring and Tedious book. Truly a let down and overhyped. The book seemed to go on a constant tangent throughout. Constantly going excessively into detail about anything and everything. £17 price point for this book is ridiculous. The only reason I haven’t given it 1 star is because I learnt a couple of things from it aha.
October 1, 2020
una dintre cele mai bune cărți pe care le-am citit vreodată, o sinteză a...vieții la cel mai real mod. amuzantă pe alocuri, cu informații extra prețioase, The school of life și-a făcut rapid loc în topul cărților mele preferate.
November 11, 2020
this book brings together ten years of essential and transformative research on emotional intelligence.
i personally like "the school of life" series like anxiety, insomnia, small pleasures and on being nice etc. decided to pick this one up as its one of the books that i have not read in the series. i really love how there are some that i could relate, but the others - not so much. they are a bit redundant and can be too factual. but either way, will always look forward to TSOL works. highly recommend if you would like to explore more on your emotional side of life.
i personally like "the school of life" series like anxiety, insomnia, small pleasures and on being nice etc. decided to pick this one up as its one of the books that i have not read in the series. i really love how there are some that i could relate, but the others - not so much. they are a bit redundant and can be too factual. but either way, will always look forward to TSOL works. highly recommend if you would like to explore more on your emotional side of life.
April 16, 2023
دوران مدرسه، دورانیست که عده ای آن را بهترین دوران زندگی می نامند.اما برای خیلی از ما، دورانی تلخ و خسته کننده بوده است. حداقل برای من که اینگونه است. دورانی که هرگز حاضر نیستم به هیچ وجهی به آن برگردم و دوباره تجربه اش کنم. حقیقتش برایم مانند زهری بوده که 12 سال، آرام آرام به خوردم داده اند
این کتاب، که با فکر میکنم با عنوان "آنچه در مدرسه یاد نگرفته اید" در ایران چاپ شده و آن را در گودریدز پیدا نکرده ام، درباره کودکی و دوران مدرسه است و به خوبی بیان میکند که این زمان چه تاثیراتی بر مای کنونی گذاشته است. می گوید که چطور ساعت ها شیمی و ریاضی و زیست هندسه به ما یاد داده اند اما هرگز نیاموخته اند که چطور با دیگران ارتباط برقرار کنیم.
بدبختی آنجاست که با استناد بر حرف های فروید، بخش اعظم شخصیت و رفتار های ما در دوران کودکی شکل می گیرد و ما کوچکترین نقشی در تعیین آن نداریم.
خانواده خوب و مدرسه خوب دقیقا چیز هایی هستند که هویت ما را ساخته اند و نقص در هر یک از این دو به داشتن زندگی پر درد و آینده ای نا معلوم می انجامد...
این کتاب، که با فکر میکنم با عنوان "آنچه در مدرسه یاد نگرفته اید" در ایران چاپ شده و آن را در گودریدز پیدا نکرده ام، درباره کودکی و دوران مدرسه است و به خوبی بیان میکند که این زمان چه تاثیراتی بر مای کنونی گذاشته است. می گوید که چطور ساعت ها شیمی و ریاضی و زیست هندسه به ما یاد داده اند اما هرگز نیاموخته اند که چطور با دیگران ارتباط برقرار کنیم.
بدبختی آنجاست که با استناد بر حرف های فروید، بخش اعظم شخصیت و رفتار های ما در دوران کودکی شکل می گیرد و ما کوچکترین نقشی در تعیین آن نداریم.
خانواده خوب و مدرسه خوب دقیقا چیز هایی هستند که هویت ما را ساخته اند و نقص در هر یک از این دو به داشتن زندگی پر درد و آینده ای نا معلوم می انجامد...
January 18, 2020
I am mesmerized about the density of concepts presented so wisely by Alain de Botton. The beauty of this book lies in how common yet challenging notions about life are put together to offer a more authentic and thoughtful perspective. For those of us preoccupied with self-discovery, this read reveals valuable insights that could work like great reminders of the lessons we once learned.
I love Botton's book for both the lens he encourages us to see the world through (with more gentleness and acceptance) and the clarity he has in packing ideas and theories into swallowable messages. I have at least to favorite quotes, as I remember:
''Love is a skill, not a feeling.''
''Authencity is the sign of supreme morality.''
I love Botton's book for both the lens he encourages us to see the world through (with more gentleness and acceptance) and the clarity he has in packing ideas and theories into swallowable messages. I have at least to favorite quotes, as I remember:
''Love is a skill, not a feeling.''
''Authencity is the sign of supreme morality.''
November 3, 2019
This is a profound book that provides some incisive advice on life and relationships from the perspective of one's emotional life. The prose is often close to poetic and no punches are pulled when it comes to facing reality and living well. Almost every paragraph has something useful and memorable to say. This is no platitudinous self-help book. It is challenging and sometimes confronting, but deeply resonant with those who know they are flawed human beings struggling to live a better life. If that's you, then read this book!
January 31, 2020
I think most humans on this planet would benefit from reading this book. It's beautiful, concise, wise, universal and deeply understanding.
February 23, 2023
Anxiety is not a sign of sickness, a weakness of the mind, or an error for which we should always seek a medical solution. It is mostly a hugely reasonable and sensitive response to the genuine strangeness, terror, uncertainty, and riskiness of existence.
.
First I started the School of Life as an audiobook, but then I realize I want to underline a lot of sentences so switched to the Kindle edition and started reading from the beginning. After a couple of pages, I realized I want to take notes while underlying the sentences along with going and coming back between pages so the e-book wasn’t good enough either and bought the physical book. I restarted all over again and play the audiobook while I was reading. Finally, I was not only reading and feeding my eyes but also listening so feeding my ears as if satisfying as many senses as possible. That’s how much I loved it.
.
It’s deeply poignant that we should expend so much effort on trying to look strong before the world when, all the while, it’s really only ever the revelation of the somewhat embarrassing, sad, melancholy, and anxious bits of us that renders us endearing to others and transforms strangers into friends.
.
First I started the School of Life as an audiobook, but then I realize I want to underline a lot of sentences so switched to the Kindle edition and started reading from the beginning. After a couple of pages, I realized I want to take notes while underlying the sentences along with going and coming back between pages so the e-book wasn’t good enough either and bought the physical book. I restarted all over again and play the audiobook while I was reading. Finally, I was not only reading and feeding my eyes but also listening so feeding my ears as if satisfying as many senses as possible. That’s how much I loved it.
.
It’s deeply poignant that we should expend so much effort on trying to look strong before the world when, all the while, it’s really only ever the revelation of the somewhat embarrassing, sad, melancholy, and anxious bits of us that renders us endearing to others and transforms strangers into friends.
June 13, 2022
Not sure where to start with this but I can’t believe how much I hated it. The only parts I enjoyed were the part on Therapy and the historical stories with the prints of artwork.. I honestly though I would love this book but I found it so confusing to read.. I couldn’t tell for a lot of it if I’d missed the point or missed a section on how he would word his next section and why (even trying to explain how I felt makes no sense). It’s all over the place and I find it crazy how he states his own opinions as if they’re factual. I believe this book could be quite helpful to someone who’s not done any form of self improvement or read any other self care/self help type books but I also think some parts of it could be a little dangerous to certain people, especially as he states things so factually when I really don’t think they should have been. It took me so long to get through this book but I felt I needed to finish it in case I came across something that may change my mind but that clearly wasn’t the case. I still feel like somehow I must have missed the point as there’s such good reviews but I really did hate reading this book. I certainly won’t be recommending it to anyone.
November 27, 2022
de Botton si compania de autori au scris o carte utilă, care cuprinde sfaturi de bun simț pentru o sănătate emoțională cât mai bună. Se scrie despre relația cu ceilalți, cu tine, cu trecutul, cu școala, societatea, dar există și capitole finale despre muncă și cultură, precum și o comparație pierzătoare pentru cel dintâi între romantism și clasicism în ceea ce privește mai ales felul de raportare asupra lumio și a problemelor emo��ionale de tot felul. Nu mi-a plăcut abordarea pe alocuri marxistă, uneori mai subtilă, alteori pe față și nici reducționismul din unele pagini, dar recunosc că mi-a clarificat multe aspecte legate de prorpria minte și cred că ar merita să fie citită de orice om interesat de viața nevăzută a ființei sale.
August 22, 2020
I told my daughter last night that if I had a dying wish it would be for her to read this book. (She hates reading and I feel strongly about the insight it offers enough to make this sort of impression.) I hope that she will remember I said this and pick it up someday (before I die) and we can talk about it.
Edited to add: It can be repetitive at times, but there’s quite a few nuggets of insight that many adults (at least it seems) are not privy to. Logical, basic perspectives that make you think past what you think you know and believe.
Edited to add: It can be repetitive at times, but there’s quite a few nuggets of insight that many adults (at least it seems) are not privy to. Logical, basic perspectives that make you think past what you think you know and believe.
March 4, 2021
Meh.
If you’re like me and you have watched all the school of life content on YouTube... this book will be highly repetitive. The breadth of topics covered was too extensive to draw any meaningful lessons.
If you’re not familiar with any of the school of life content then maybe you’ll enjoy this one !
If you’re like me and you have watched all the school of life content on YouTube... this book will be highly repetitive. The breadth of topics covered was too extensive to draw any meaningful lessons.
If you’re not familiar with any of the school of life content then maybe you’ll enjoy this one !
January 8, 2023
The end of year procrastination has a new shape this time, Marie-Knodoing our currently reading shelf, ditching any book that didn't spark some joy and also it has been years since the last time my currently reading shelf was empty.
ANYWAY
There is something appealing about the moderately nihilistic views de Botton holds - is it the usual artistic references, or the low expectations he manages to set at the start of each one of his books, I dunno !
The main idea of the book is that a lot of human suffering is the result of our emotional illiteracy despite the big strides humanity made technology wise. It's the culmination of little distresses and small unseen frustrations, that end up challenging our mental health. Having a steady mental health hygiene or as I love to call it "protocol" to keep yourself in check is a great life enhancing step towards debunking your emotions and processing them. A key lesson in the book as well is our human capacity to learn, unlearn and relearn, so at every turn of paragraph the author is reassuring the reader that yes they're normal and at the same time that there is hope that one day anyone if they want to could become emotionally fluent.
Now hear me out, if you pick this book to learn about relationships, you'll get that too BUT it's better if you focus more on the other parts of the book they're the real foundation for what he is writing about romantic relationships especially. De Botton sets your expectations in a realistic manner, highlighting where we usually go wrong, the fact that childhood traumas shape pretty most of our romantic choices (although, I don't agree with this - resilience studies have shown otherwise, but not everyone is for sure). Again, giving you a real feedback to slit your Fanta-seas in two halves. Reality should always be your anchor ... Be real in your expectations ... And also know where do you stand on the spectrum of the tragic duality that's been giving us all headaches: Romantic or Classic, there is no one side to choose, again in reality life is grey ... so you'll have to find your right shade to better understand yourself and avoid the DRAMA, duh!
Let's recap:
1- Know Thyself
2- Love Thyself
3- Treat Thyself (not shopping sprees, seek professional help if you need it)
Always remember staying sane on this journey is already a big ambition, so if by the end of the day you didn't lash out into some sort of weird craziness: BE GRATEFUL, it could always be worse ...
And the author says that if you're a bookworm you're just lonely, congrats!
Henri Matisse began painting people reading from his early twenties and continued to do so throughout his life; at least thirty of his canvases tackle the theme. What gives these images their poignancy is that we recognize them as records of loneliness that has at least in part been redeemed through culture. The figures may be on their own, their gaze often distant and melancholy, but they have to hand perhaps the best possible replacement when the immediate community has let us down: books.
ANYWAY
There is something appealing about the moderately nihilistic views de Botton holds - is it the usual artistic references, or the low expectations he manages to set at the start of each one of his books, I dunno !
The main idea of the book is that a lot of human suffering is the result of our emotional illiteracy despite the big strides humanity made technology wise. It's the culmination of little distresses and small unseen frustrations, that end up challenging our mental health. Having a steady mental health hygiene or as I love to call it "protocol" to keep yourself in check is a great life enhancing step towards debunking your emotions and processing them. A key lesson in the book as well is our human capacity to learn, unlearn and relearn, so at every turn of paragraph the author is reassuring the reader that yes they're normal and at the same time that there is hope that one day anyone if they want to could become emotionally fluent.
Now hear me out, if you pick this book to learn about relationships, you'll get that too BUT it's better if you focus more on the other parts of the book they're the real foundation for what he is writing about romantic relationships especially. De Botton sets your expectations in a realistic manner, highlighting where we usually go wrong, the fact that childhood traumas shape pretty most of our romantic choices (although, I don't agree with this - resilience studies have shown otherwise, but not everyone is for sure). Again, giving you a real feedback to slit your Fanta-seas in two halves. Reality should always be your anchor ... Be real in your expectations ... And also know where do you stand on the spectrum of the tragic duality that's been giving us all headaches: Romantic or Classic, there is no one side to choose, again in reality life is grey ... so you'll have to find your right shade to better understand yourself and avoid the DRAMA, duh!
Let's recap:
1- Know Thyself
2- Love Thyself
3- Treat Thyself (not shopping sprees, seek professional help if you need it)
Always remember staying sane on this journey is already a big ambition, so if by the end of the day you didn't lash out into some sort of weird craziness: BE GRATEFUL, it could always be worse ...
And the author says that if you're a bookworm you're just lonely, congrats!
Henri Matisse began painting people reading from his early twenties and continued to do so throughout his life; at least thirty of his canvases tackle the theme. What gives these images their poignancy is that we recognize them as records of loneliness that has at least in part been redeemed through culture. The figures may be on their own, their gaze often distant and melancholy, but they have to hand perhaps the best possible replacement when the immediate community has let us down: books.
August 26, 2023
I like where the author is going with the state of education in the current world - the skills that were probably useful at one time may not be relevant today, and as per the author, the absence of emotional intelligence in the curriculum is conspicuous.
There are a lot of good pointers in the book which is meant to be a supplement to today's adult's education. In no way is it complete, but it could be as a starting point for those looking to live a wholesome life. Readers who are well acquainted with the topic can also find some takeaways.
The writing is mostly great, but I found it went into a ramble in some parts. My two favorite sections were on what could constitute an emotionally healthy childhood and the 12 qualities that make a wise person.
There are a lot of good pointers in the book which is meant to be a supplement to today's adult's education. In no way is it complete, but it could be as a starting point for those looking to live a wholesome life. Readers who are well acquainted with the topic can also find some takeaways.
The writing is mostly great, but I found it went into a ramble in some parts. My two favorite sections were on what could constitute an emotionally healthy childhood and the 12 qualities that make a wise person.
January 19, 2022
Fist of all I think Alain de Botton is really wise. He knows the life. His personality took my interest. I watched some of his performance also on TED. Listen to him, and you will not waste your time.
Every topic he was writing about is actual. Also he looks deep inside in the problem, searching for real reason(not for surface). I agree with Alain that we need an emotional education. Do emotions control us? Do we control emotions? It is a big job to understand the emotions and to deal with them. We already know about IQ and EQ. Aldo there is creative intelligence - the highest level. We study all our life and there always will be more to study.
And never enough reading!
Every topic he was writing about is actual. Also he looks deep inside in the problem, searching for real reason(not for surface). I agree with Alain that we need an emotional education. Do emotions control us? Do we control emotions? It is a big job to understand the emotions and to deal with them. We already know about IQ and EQ. Aldo there is creative intelligence - the highest level. We study all our life and there always will be more to study.
And never enough reading!
October 14, 2021
کتاب فارسی من خوندم:«بهترین درسهای زندگی» بود. احتمالا خود فانی دست به انتخاب یک سری یادداشت ها زده، احتمال قوی تر این است دست به حذف یک سری از یادداشته� زده.
هرچه گشتم در گودریدز عنوان دقیق فارسی نبود.
باری، کتاب خوبی است. من شبیه رمان یا کتاب علمی نخواندمش، گاه و بیگاه سراغش رفتم چند عنوانی خواندم، گاهی درنگی کردم گاهی لبخندی زدم، تا فرصت بعد
هرچه گشتم در گودریدز عنوان دقیق فارسی نبود.
باری، کتاب خوبی است. من شبیه رمان یا کتاب علمی نخواندمش، گاه و بیگاه سراغش رفتم چند عنوانی خواندم، گاهی درنگی کردم گاهی لبخندی زدم، تا فرصت بعد
January 12, 2023
Un fel de 7 ani de acasă cartea asta..un must have de cultură..o ador!
May 8, 2022
"Putine catastrofe din vietile noastre sau ale tuturor popoarelor au, pana la urma, o alta origine decat ignoranta emotionala. "
"Platim un pret prea mare pentru ignoranta de sine. Sentimentele si dorintele neanalizate persista si isi distribuie energia aleatoriu pe parcursul vietii noastre. Ambitia necunoscuta din noi apare ca panica; invidia se transforma in amaraciune; nervozitatea se transforma in furie; tristetea, in depresie. Materialul negat erupe si patrunde in sistem. Dezvoltam ticuri daunatoare: o contractie faciala, impotenta, o compulsie, o tristete de nedepasit. Mare parte din ceea ce ne distruge vietile poate fi atribuita emotiilor pentru care sinele noastre constient nu a gasit calea de a le intelege sau a le adresa la timp."
"Platim un pret prea mare pentru ignoranta de sine. Sentimentele si dorintele neanalizate persista si isi distribuie energia aleatoriu pe parcursul vietii noastre. Ambitia necunoscuta din noi apare ca panica; invidia se transforma in amaraciune; nervozitatea se transforma in furie; tristetea, in depresie. Materialul negat erupe si patrunde in sistem. Dezvoltam ticuri daunatoare: o contractie faciala, impotenta, o compulsie, o tristete de nedepasit. Mare parte din ceea ce ne distruge vietile poate fi atribuita emotiilor pentru care sinele noastre constient nu a gasit calea de a le intelege sau a le adresa la timp."
November 18, 2019
Great ideas, though it feels too much of a compilation of them. Would have liked it if the ideas were more connected.
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