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304 pages, Hardcover
First published August 13, 2020
鈥淪he realised that she hadn鈥檛 tried to end her life because she was miserable, but because she had managed to convince herself that there was no way out of her misery.鈥�
鈥淎s she switched to freestyle she realised it wasn鈥檛 her fault that her parents had never been able to love her the way parents were meant to: without condition.鈥�
鈥淎nd 鈥� and the thing is 鈥� the thing is 鈥� what we consider to be the most successful route for us to take, actually isn鈥檛. Because too often our view of success is about some external bullshit idea of achievement 鈥� an Olympic medal, the ideal husband, a good salary. And we have all these metrics that we try and reach. When really success isn鈥檛 something you measure, and life isn鈥檛 a race you can win.鈥�
鈥淢aybe she was just really crap at it. At life.鈥�
鈥淪he wanted to have a purpose, something to give her a reason to exist. But she had nothing.鈥�
鈥淲hen she thought about it 鈥� and increasingly she had been thinking about it 鈥� Nora was only able to think of herself in terms of the things she wasn鈥檛. The things she hadn鈥檛 been able to become. And there really were quite a lot of things she hadn鈥檛 become.鈥�
鈥淏etween life and death there is a library,鈥� she said. 鈥楢nd within that library, the shelves go on for ever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be different if you had made other choices 鈥� Would you have done anything different, if you had the chance to undo your regrets?鈥�
鈥淪he realised, in that moment, that she was capable of a lot more than she had known.鈥�
鈥淪he didn鈥檛 need a vineyard or a Californian sunset to be happy. She didn鈥檛 even need a large house and the perfect family. She just needed potential. And she was nothing if not potential. She wondered why she had never seen it before.鈥�
鈥淚 mean, it would have made things a lot easier if we understood there was no way of living that can immunise you against sadness. And that sadness is intrinsically part of the fabric of happiness. You can鈥檛 have one without the other.鈥�
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to understand life. You just have to live it.鈥�
Nora shook her head. This was a bit too much for a Philosophy graduate to take.鈥�
It鈥檚 a bit too much for this science graduate over here, too.
"That is just me. I add nothing. I am wallowing in self-pity."
鈥淚t is easy to mourn the lives we aren't living. Easy to wish we'd developed other other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we'd worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga. It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn't make and the work we didn't do the people we didn't do and the people we didn't marry and the children we didn't have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out. But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It's the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people's worst enemy. We can't tell if any of those other versions would of been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.鈥�
While I admit I don鈥檛 actively pursue parallel universes kind of books on one hand, and on the other, the main reason why I read this book is that I was choosing the best fiction this year (to vote in the GR awards), I was actually looking forward to it. Most of my friends on GR gave it 5 glowing stars. A book beloved by the majority... I had a high chance of enjoying it. Sadly, I didn鈥檛.
First, it was boring. I listened to the audiobook and the narrator wasn鈥檛 the best, honestly. Not that her voice was annoying but it was kind of monotone. It certainly didn鈥檛 help either that I was listening to at the same time, in which the narrator was so animated reading the book.
I also found all of Nora鈥檚 revelations and enlightenment typical. Like sure I already know that. The ending was also painfully predictable from the start. So when you can guess where the book is going, everything in between becomes not so interesting anymore, especially if you don鈥檛 care about the main character. Unfortunately, I found Nora dull. She wasn鈥檛 interesting as the main character and I couldn鈥檛 relate nor care about her and empathise with her story. I can鈥檛 believe she was this multitalented in fields that aren鈥檛 related whatsoever to each other. She could鈥檝e been an athlete, a scholar or a musician. All successful. All are based on life decisions. I also think that she had the privilege of choosing such different options. Many don鈥檛. I don鈥檛 mean by that the book of regrets but rather focusing on a particular career path from the start. For example, many parents don鈥檛 nurture their children鈥檚 interests like music or gymnastics for several reasons maybe they can鈥檛 afford it or they just don鈥檛 care. But Nora had so many options.
Luckily, the book was short. I also didn鈥檛 hate anything about it, hence the 2-star rating. But at the same time, I can鈥檛 name anything I liked. Maybe one of the lives, in particular, was more intriguing than the rest because of the two characters we met and.. the concept. It didn鈥檛 help that the book got repetitive sometimes. The premise was much more promising than the book itself. The 鈥渕essage鈥� was also pretty plain obvious. Yet many liked The Midnight Library, however. So it might be more of a 鈥渕e and not you鈥� kind of book.
But let me tell you this: if you don鈥檛 find the parallel universes interesting to read about in stories, don鈥檛 read this novel. Don鈥檛 be fooled with 鈥淟IBRARY. MIDNIGHT LIBRARY. BOOOOOKS.鈥� The library is just more of a metaphor. Most of the events in this book take place in the real world. And unless you鈥檙e interested in kind of self-help books (or motivational ones), don鈥檛 read this novel either. Because it鈥檚 more about what Nora discovered about herself and life, of course, by dealing with/trying to escape from her regrets.
But then again, the majority liked this book so you might too and it's simply not my cup of tea. Yet, it was a dreadfully boring.
Life has just gotten to the point where it's overwhelming and all-encompassing and above all, Nora can't see a possible situation where it gets better.![]()
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鈥淎isles and aisles of bookshelves, reaching up to the ceiling and branching off from the broad open corridor. Books were everywhere. The shelves really did seem to go on forever, straight and long to the far off horizon. There were no title and names adorning the spines of the books.鈥�
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 go to death, but the death comes to you鈥�
鈥淭his is the wrong life. It is really, really, really wrong. Take me back. I do want to avenge. Take me back to the library.
In the cosmic order of things, there is no rejection only redirecrtion.鈥�
鈥淭he thing that looks the most ordinary might end up being the thing that leads you to victory.鈥�