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Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work
Are you a Sensitive Striver? Learn how to get out of your own way and rediscover your sensitivity as a superpower.
___ Highly sensitive and high performing?
___ Need time to think through decisions before you act?
___ Judge yourself harshly when you make mistakes?
___ Take feedback and criticism personally?
___ Find it difficult to set boundaries?
It's time to Trust Yourself. Being highly attuned to your emotions, your environment, and the behavior of others can be the keys to success, but they can also lead to overthinking everything and burnout. Human behavior expert and executive coach Melody Wilding, LMSW has spent the past ten years working with Sensitive Strivers like you. In this groundbreaking book, she draws on decades of research and client work to examine the intersection of sensitivity and achievement in the workplace and offer neuroscience-based strategies you can use to reclaim control of your life and reach your full potential.
Trust Yourself offers concrete steps to help you break free from stress, perfectionism, and self-doubt so you can find the confidence to work and lead effectively. You will learn how to:
� Achieve confidence and overcome imposter syndrome.
� Find your voice to speak and act with assertiveness.
� Build resilience and bounce back from setbacks.
� Enjoy your success without sacrificing your well-being.
If you're an empathetic, driven person trying to navigate your career and learn how to believe in yourself in the process, Trust Yourself offers the mindset and tools to set you on the path to personal and professional fulfillment.
The perfect book for:
� Those who identify as highly sensitive
� Anyone who overthinks or struggles with work stress and burnout
� Corporate professionals of all levels
� Managers, leaders, and executives
� Entrepreneurs and small business owners
� Life, career, and leadership coaches
___ Highly sensitive and high performing?
___ Need time to think through decisions before you act?
___ Judge yourself harshly when you make mistakes?
___ Take feedback and criticism personally?
___ Find it difficult to set boundaries?
It's time to Trust Yourself. Being highly attuned to your emotions, your environment, and the behavior of others can be the keys to success, but they can also lead to overthinking everything and burnout. Human behavior expert and executive coach Melody Wilding, LMSW has spent the past ten years working with Sensitive Strivers like you. In this groundbreaking book, she draws on decades of research and client work to examine the intersection of sensitivity and achievement in the workplace and offer neuroscience-based strategies you can use to reclaim control of your life and reach your full potential.
Trust Yourself offers concrete steps to help you break free from stress, perfectionism, and self-doubt so you can find the confidence to work and lead effectively. You will learn how to:
� Achieve confidence and overcome imposter syndrome.
� Find your voice to speak and act with assertiveness.
� Build resilience and bounce back from setbacks.
� Enjoy your success without sacrificing your well-being.
If you're an empathetic, driven person trying to navigate your career and learn how to believe in yourself in the process, Trust Yourself offers the mindset and tools to set you on the path to personal and professional fulfillment.
The perfect book for:
� Those who identify as highly sensitive
� Anyone who overthinks or struggles with work stress and burnout
� Corporate professionals of all levels
� Managers, leaders, and executives
� Entrepreneurs and small business owners
� Life, career, and leadership coaches
256 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 4, 2021
408 people are currently reading
2,515 people want to read
About the author
Melody Wilding
7Ìýbooks47ÌýfollowersMelody Wilding is the author of Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge and Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work.
For more than a decade as an award-winning executive coach, she’s smart, thoughtful top performers at the world’s most successful companies � including Google, JP Morgan, and Verizon � get the recognition, respect, and pay they deserve.
She's a licensed social worker with a master’s degree from Columbia University, professor of human behavior at Hunter College in New York City, and former emotions researcher at Rutgers University. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and dozens of other respected publications. She’s a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, and CNBC.
For more than a decade as an award-winning executive coach, she’s smart, thoughtful top performers at the world’s most successful companies � including Google, JP Morgan, and Verizon � get the recognition, respect, and pay they deserve.
She's a licensed social worker with a master’s degree from Columbia University, professor of human behavior at Hunter College in New York City, and former emotions researcher at Rutgers University. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and dozens of other respected publications. She’s a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Fast Company, and CNBC.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
July 7, 2021
I have never felt more seen by a book. This book was empowering and left me feeling even more confident about who I am and see how my strengths have supported my career success. Above all, it’s a relief discovering a new term to describe my personality traits/how I feel and use that to navigate whatever life brings my way. Highly recommend for fellow high achievers out there.
May 19, 2021
Your long lost Fairy-Gut-Check is here! Just in time for the post-pandemic world, with Trust Yourself, you’ll come away feeling more self-assured, equipped to face people (again), and your future. If you’re like me, you’ve always wished for a self-development resource that shares compelling, research-based strategies, relatable real-life examples, AND the nitty gritty tactics for exactly what to do, why, plus how to begin infusing it in daily life-- Melody Wilding, a pro executive coach with a master’s in social work, artfully delivers it all.
Using stories from her life and her clients� as a through-line for showcasing different frameworks, each vignette touches on one of the many feelings or situations you run into over the years (or likely will). For me, several of the narratives put words to things I’ve only thought about, but never expressed. I felt understood somehow, relating, and realizing I wasn’t the only one. And just reading their experiences made me feel more capable of addressing issues once overwhelmed by and avoided. It grew my will to change and confidence to start. The thoughtful exercises and experiments make it feel so do-able to take that first step.
So much resonated with me that I found myself taking notes: some action items and some saved as well-worded reminders. Right away I used the simple tips/tools for retraining the brain and prompts (with exact wording) helpfully called, “Speak Up Shortcuts.� Other notes are now filed in Evernote as Shortcuts or Templates for future situations, and even just shared some tips with a friend struggling with a career move/decision.
There’s a great chapter on over-functioning, burnout, and anxiety due to the "Honor Roll Hangover" about the thrill of achievement, productivity, and seeking external validation. While I’ve been aware of this term, I finally understood how I’d unconsciously been feeding into it. And thankfully, I can use tools I’ve learned to recalibrate, focus, and prioritize based on MY values and goals. SoLo(ng) FoMo!
There’s so much quality info that it was tough to choose what to highlight here! Suffice it to say, this book has jump-started my progress with a more intentional prescription for understanding, reinforcing, and trusting myself.
I hope it does the same for you.
Using stories from her life and her clients� as a through-line for showcasing different frameworks, each vignette touches on one of the many feelings or situations you run into over the years (or likely will). For me, several of the narratives put words to things I’ve only thought about, but never expressed. I felt understood somehow, relating, and realizing I wasn’t the only one. And just reading their experiences made me feel more capable of addressing issues once overwhelmed by and avoided. It grew my will to change and confidence to start. The thoughtful exercises and experiments make it feel so do-able to take that first step.
So much resonated with me that I found myself taking notes: some action items and some saved as well-worded reminders. Right away I used the simple tips/tools for retraining the brain and prompts (with exact wording) helpfully called, “Speak Up Shortcuts.� Other notes are now filed in Evernote as Shortcuts or Templates for future situations, and even just shared some tips with a friend struggling with a career move/decision.
There’s a great chapter on over-functioning, burnout, and anxiety due to the "Honor Roll Hangover" about the thrill of achievement, productivity, and seeking external validation. While I’ve been aware of this term, I finally understood how I’d unconsciously been feeding into it. And thankfully, I can use tools I’ve learned to recalibrate, focus, and prioritize based on MY values and goals. SoLo(ng) FoMo!
There’s so much quality info that it was tough to choose what to highlight here! Suffice it to say, this book has jump-started my progress with a more intentional prescription for understanding, reinforcing, and trusting myself.
I hope it does the same for you.
August 2, 2021
What's inside is exactly as advertised and skewed heavily toward Sensitive Strivers working in corporate structures. Because I believe readers can glean something useful from any book they pick up I found some good tips and reassurances within these pages, especially within the first few chapters. Looking over my work history I see some situations where advice found here may have helped, but by and large my work for small independently owned businesses or non-profits occurred in structures vastly different from those presented. As a teacher in a non-profit private preschool I never could have taken the time out of my day after a triggering incident to immediately reflect on my detox from the Honor Roll Hangover.
For upwardly mobile yuppie-type sensitive individuals this book is a gem. For the rest of us working in service industry jobs or for small business the potential trajectories described within look way different. Still, the focus on leveraging your innate qualities should yield enough take away to make this a worthwhile read.
For upwardly mobile yuppie-type sensitive individuals this book is a gem. For the rest of us working in service industry jobs or for small business the potential trajectories described within look way different. Still, the focus on leveraging your innate qualities should yield enough take away to make this a worthwhile read.
January 14, 2023
These were good reminders, but I wish it had more examples of how to communicate overwhelm. I wish we could get to the place in the work environment where we can be open and honest about our boundaries and work limitations. I wish we could be viewed as hardworking, promotable workers even if we set a boundary that once we work our designated 8 hours daily that we then go home to live our life. Every book I’ve read on this has these examples of workers who overwhelm and overstretch themselves, and once they decide to work on it, they’re already executives. Can’t there be a way we can get to be an executive while maintaining a work life balance? Anyone? Bueller? I want to live a healthy, balanced life. Why is that too much to ask?
Disclaimer - I didn’t do the exercises in this book since I borrowed an audiobook from the library and they were on PDFs that I couldn’t access.
Disclaimer - I didn’t do the exercises in this book since I borrowed an audiobook from the library and they were on PDFs that I couldn’t access.
June 2, 2021
You can either keep getting disappointed by (in fact) getting in your own way, or you can read this book. As simple as that.
Melody provides very representative stories, brings up curious pieces of research and offers to undertake concise and actionable exercises. Zero unnecessary information, every bit is gold. Highly recommend it: even if you are still too shy to acknowledge your sensitivity - this book will reassure you that it is actually a very useful trait for business, and if you have already have unpeeled some layers of self-awareness - this book will help you to go deeper and bring in your true authenticity to your daily life.
Melody provides very representative stories, brings up curious pieces of research and offers to undertake concise and actionable exercises. Zero unnecessary information, every bit is gold. Highly recommend it: even if you are still too shy to acknowledge your sensitivity - this book will reassure you that it is actually a very useful trait for business, and if you have already have unpeeled some layers of self-awareness - this book will help you to go deeper and bring in your true authenticity to your daily life.
February 20, 2022
Dang, I could relate to a lot in this! See my highlights for favorite clips.
February 24, 2024
It's a good book to raise self-awareness of sensitive strivers. However, as someone with a high level of self-awareness, most parts didn't give me much. I found the last few chapters about risk taking and assertive communication quite useful though.
February 24, 2025
Self-trust is my word of the year. I needed to find books that help me define and uplift this word. This book not only nailed building self trust but more importantly, helped me define what the word truly represents to me. The section on intuition vs fear gave me language to emotions I previously could not define. I loved that section so much one-typed it and put it in my planner for routine review. I recommend this book asap!
January 13, 2024
This book is a valuable resource for overachievers in the workplace, though I wouldn't say it is as groundbreaking as described. I already knew most of the techniques from other books - such as reframing negative thoughts, breathing techniques and so on. It is good that they are put in one place. I recommend watching Melody's courses in LinkedIn, they are super valuable and she is such a great communicator that whatever she says really sticks and helps you make a difference.
January 15, 2023
I felt so seen reading this book! Filled with great advice that is actually doable. I'm starting right away with harnessing the power of "Yet." This is a book that I will be referencing often in the coming year!
June 14, 2021
Absolutely fantastic book and PDFs ... came to me at the right time. I loved how the author remixed ideas for handling work life and evolutions.
August 2, 2023
amazing book and would recommend for other sensitive strivers.
February 11, 2024
I really like the author and what she has to say. “Sensitive striver�? Yes, that’s me! I want to do well at work, but I have this crippling fear of public speaking (even a camera off zoom call) and I judge myself so harshly and constantly think about how embarrassing I am, stupid I am, etc. I have trouble sometimes saying no and setting boundaries. I really thought I’d love this book and it would help me, but it just fell flat.
I did listen to the audiobook, so maybe that’s where I went wrong, so that’s why I’m giving this 2 stars instead of 1. Audible said I’d get a companion PDF to go along with the book, but I did not receive and could not find.
So the book is read by the author and, I don’t know, her voice was just kind of flat and zipped through everything. Instead of finding myself in even a minor part of any of the stories, I could not relate. I only got through about 20% of the book before I gave up and DNF’ed it (DNL� d it? 😸) so perhaps there are more stories about people like me that I missed. But this book seems to cater to people who were ALWAYS high-achievers, coming from families that pushed success, did not drop out of high school and went straight to college and were instant valedictorian (lol, JK but pretty much). Then these people become CEOs, blah blah. I wondered where the stories about normal people were. Those who work in retail, those in an average 9-5, etc. And I realized that those people probably could not afford to hire her as a consultant.
So, I just don’t relate and found the book rather annoying. You may love it. But, not for me. Sad, because I love Wilding’s message.
I did listen to the audiobook, so maybe that’s where I went wrong, so that’s why I’m giving this 2 stars instead of 1. Audible said I’d get a companion PDF to go along with the book, but I did not receive and could not find.
So the book is read by the author and, I don’t know, her voice was just kind of flat and zipped through everything. Instead of finding myself in even a minor part of any of the stories, I could not relate. I only got through about 20% of the book before I gave up and DNF’ed it (DNL� d it? 😸) so perhaps there are more stories about people like me that I missed. But this book seems to cater to people who were ALWAYS high-achievers, coming from families that pushed success, did not drop out of high school and went straight to college and were instant valedictorian (lol, JK but pretty much). Then these people become CEOs, blah blah. I wondered where the stories about normal people were. Those who work in retail, those in an average 9-5, etc. And I realized that those people probably could not afford to hire her as a consultant.
So, I just don’t relate and found the book rather annoying. You may love it. But, not for me. Sad, because I love Wilding’s message.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
January 19, 2022A "sensitive striver" is a high-achiever who is also more sensitive to their emotions, the world, and the behaviour of those around them. Sensitive strivers are a category of highly sensitive people (HSPs), meaning they naturally process information more deeply than their less-sensitive peers.
There are ~20% of people who are sensitive striver and struggle in day to day life due to their sensitivity..
Just finished reading the book by Melody Wilding, LMSW where she has given a framework to transform STRIVE qualities of Sensitive people from disadvantage to their advantage.
STRIVE Qualities
S => Sensitivity
T => Thoughtfulness
R => Responsibility
I => Inner Drive
V => Vigilance
E => Emotionality
This quality act at a disadvantage due to self-doubt, stress, fear, imposter syndrome, unable to speak up but the same can be translated to advantage due to high perception & sensitivity of "sensitive strivers".
For me "Thoughtfulness" or "Overthinking" was a major growth gap and I have started taking action on a few items without worrying or overthinking on the action & consequences.
There are ~20% of people who are sensitive striver and struggle in day to day life due to their sensitivity..
Just finished reading the book by Melody Wilding, LMSW where she has given a framework to transform STRIVE qualities of Sensitive people from disadvantage to their advantage.
STRIVE Qualities
S => Sensitivity
T => Thoughtfulness
R => Responsibility
I => Inner Drive
V => Vigilance
E => Emotionality
This quality act at a disadvantage due to self-doubt, stress, fear, imposter syndrome, unable to speak up but the same can be translated to advantage due to high perception & sensitivity of "sensitive strivers".
For me "Thoughtfulness" or "Overthinking" was a major growth gap and I have started taking action on a few items without worrying or overthinking on the action & consequences.
May 15, 2021
Wow! What a fabulous book. I had read some articles by this author, Melody Wilding, on the Harvard Business Review and other publications/sites. This led me to her website and pre-ordering this book. I love that there's relatable stories, self-assessments, tools, takeaways, and the formatting/layout of this book. I'm typically a kindle book reader and I am so glad I bought the hardcover version of this one. It's full of my highlights. I like being able to see the examples with applying the tools as well as the blank page(s) to do it myself. I've been reading some of this book every night and even though it's not a novel, it's hard to put down! The style and format are easy to digest and I kept telling myself at night, just 1 more chapter. Even if you're not a sensitive striver or suffering from an honor roll hangover, this book will be so useful.
July 8, 2024
1.5 stars, per Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ rating suggestions, somewhere between "I did not like it" and "It was ok."
Not for me, although I'm happy for the author that she was able to find a system that worked for her. I read this book because I had read an online article by the author about 'sensitive strivers' and in it she suggested people read her book to find out more. I was intrigued and am definitely a sensitive striver (which honestly is basically someone who is just emotionally oversensitive and... you know, works) but just didnt really click with the book or its suggestions. Everything presented was a LOT of work. Worksheets, charts to fill out... other kindof weird hokey pokey things like 'fill out a permission slip to give yourself permission to ___.' Idk. Not something I see myself doing. The focus also felt really really corporate vs. other types of work environments and I was not inspired nor identified by the example people who used these methods to solve their problems. Everyone felt WAY too invested in their corporate jobs and moving up the corporate ladder and not enough invested in their falling apart marriages at home. Or, seemed to be single/didnt have small children (one example of one of her clients was like [after work] 5-545 pm : evening walk, agonized over a client email ... 6-7 ceramics class 730-830pm dinner 9-1030 job searching tried to make progress on resume but felt like i had no accomplishments went down the rabbit hole looking at job boards 11-1130pm night time routine. WHAT!? So much freaking free time!!! Here is MY night time routine. 5-545 commute home. 6-7 dinner: scrambling to cook it and/or begging my child to eat it, doing bath time, begging him to drink milk to get his daily intake, brush teeth, change diaper and pijamas/getting ready for bed time, 7-8 bed time/ trying to get the baby to sleep for Literally an hour. 8-9 get Myself ready for bed/possibly shower, clean up the house and dishes and 9-1030 maybe spend a half hour doing something for myself like read or computer then pass out/go to sleep myself from exhaustion.
So you can see why I dont really identify with any of these people. Who the f has time to do all this random stuff after work (walking around the park worrying about emails!? ceramics class? how nice for you) much less spend it worrying about your career. Dont you have to cook and get the family fed clean and into bed!? Why does no one in this seem to have small children ? The stage of life I'm currently in feels somehow ignored. Idk. I am unable to spend hours filling out charts and analyzing how I can move up the corporate ladder at work, also I dont work in corporate/can't move up the ladder and also have absolutely no desire to.
I also didn't like the entire chapters about intuition and going with your gut, she said she's never met a client who regretted going with their gut on something. Well she's never met me! I definitely have career/work/pay related decisions ive made in the past that were 100% the WRONG decision but felt like I should do at the time. Also doesn't everyone regret like their past first few boyfriends/girlfriends that didn't work out and isn't that an example of how your gut to date this person was wrong..... I just didn't like how it was not discussed what to do when you've trusted your instincts in the past and it did NOT work out, and now you lose faith in that method of using your gut to decide if something is a good idea or not. There is a small chapter at the very end about recovering from setbacks or mistakes, but I felt it needed to be discussed way way earlier in the book and expanded on a lot more.
These are the notes I wrote down while reading it that I thought might be of some use.
Re-examining Cognitive Distortions:
- All or Nothing: 'If I cant do it Im a failure' --> 'I had some high moments and some setbacks'
- Overgeneralization: 'I'm always screwing up' --> ' This wasn't my best, I'll be better prepared next time.'
- ** stop using extreme terminology like "always never all and every"
- Filtering (only focussing on the negative)/upset by small criticisms --> Ask yourself how foucssing on the negative will help you long term (generally , it wont/is a waste of time.) Acknowledge and accept the criticism ' I will work on__'.
- Catastrophizing 'Ill get fired and be homeless' --> Instead its unlikely I'll get fired and if I do I'll get a new job.
- Disqualifying Positives : 'Anyone could have done it.' -->Instead I have a lot to offer and others see it even if I dont see it myself. Accept and believe compliments.
- Emotional Reasoning: I feel sad so I must be depressing to be around--> Instead describe Facts only : I am sad because work sucked. This is an opportunity to consider what has value in life and what doesn't. '
- "Should" Statements: I -should- know this by now --> Ask yourself, According to Whom? Whose expectations and why? Tell yourself 'I'm not an expert but am improving each week.'
- Personalization: Holding yourself accountable for things outside yoru control and assume responsibility for the happiness of those around you --> There are things you Cant control.
-The bigger the goal, the more opportunities to get overwhelmed. Break it into many small very easy goals. Tiny habits lead to big big changes. Smaller goals preserve energy and go further, sustainably.
-Compete w yourself , not other ppl
-Pause to celebrate your wins - document them
- Identify your core values and ask yourself "How might I achieve more ___"
The end
Not for me, although I'm happy for the author that she was able to find a system that worked for her. I read this book because I had read an online article by the author about 'sensitive strivers' and in it she suggested people read her book to find out more. I was intrigued and am definitely a sensitive striver (which honestly is basically someone who is just emotionally oversensitive and... you know, works) but just didnt really click with the book or its suggestions. Everything presented was a LOT of work. Worksheets, charts to fill out... other kindof weird hokey pokey things like 'fill out a permission slip to give yourself permission to ___.' Idk. Not something I see myself doing. The focus also felt really really corporate vs. other types of work environments and I was not inspired nor identified by the example people who used these methods to solve their problems. Everyone felt WAY too invested in their corporate jobs and moving up the corporate ladder and not enough invested in their falling apart marriages at home. Or, seemed to be single/didnt have small children (one example of one of her clients was like [after work] 5-545 pm : evening walk, agonized over a client email ... 6-7 ceramics class 730-830pm dinner 9-1030 job searching tried to make progress on resume but felt like i had no accomplishments went down the rabbit hole looking at job boards 11-1130pm night time routine. WHAT!? So much freaking free time!!! Here is MY night time routine. 5-545 commute home. 6-7 dinner: scrambling to cook it and/or begging my child to eat it, doing bath time, begging him to drink milk to get his daily intake, brush teeth, change diaper and pijamas/getting ready for bed time, 7-8 bed time/ trying to get the baby to sleep for Literally an hour. 8-9 get Myself ready for bed/possibly shower, clean up the house and dishes and 9-1030 maybe spend a half hour doing something for myself like read or computer then pass out/go to sleep myself from exhaustion.
So you can see why I dont really identify with any of these people. Who the f has time to do all this random stuff after work (walking around the park worrying about emails!? ceramics class? how nice for you) much less spend it worrying about your career. Dont you have to cook and get the family fed clean and into bed!? Why does no one in this seem to have small children ? The stage of life I'm currently in feels somehow ignored. Idk. I am unable to spend hours filling out charts and analyzing how I can move up the corporate ladder at work, also I dont work in corporate/can't move up the ladder and also have absolutely no desire to.
I also didn't like the entire chapters about intuition and going with your gut, she said she's never met a client who regretted going with their gut on something. Well she's never met me! I definitely have career/work/pay related decisions ive made in the past that were 100% the WRONG decision but felt like I should do at the time. Also doesn't everyone regret like their past first few boyfriends/girlfriends that didn't work out and isn't that an example of how your gut to date this person was wrong..... I just didn't like how it was not discussed what to do when you've trusted your instincts in the past and it did NOT work out, and now you lose faith in that method of using your gut to decide if something is a good idea or not. There is a small chapter at the very end about recovering from setbacks or mistakes, but I felt it needed to be discussed way way earlier in the book and expanded on a lot more.
These are the notes I wrote down while reading it that I thought might be of some use.
Re-examining Cognitive Distortions:
- All or Nothing: 'If I cant do it Im a failure' --> 'I had some high moments and some setbacks'
- Overgeneralization: 'I'm always screwing up' --> ' This wasn't my best, I'll be better prepared next time.'
- ** stop using extreme terminology like "always never all and every"
- Filtering (only focussing on the negative)/upset by small criticisms --> Ask yourself how foucssing on the negative will help you long term (generally , it wont/is a waste of time.) Acknowledge and accept the criticism ' I will work on__'.
- Catastrophizing 'Ill get fired and be homeless' --> Instead its unlikely I'll get fired and if I do I'll get a new job.
- Disqualifying Positives : 'Anyone could have done it.' -->Instead I have a lot to offer and others see it even if I dont see it myself. Accept and believe compliments.
- Emotional Reasoning: I feel sad so I must be depressing to be around--> Instead describe Facts only : I am sad because work sucked. This is an opportunity to consider what has value in life and what doesn't. '
- "Should" Statements: I -should- know this by now --> Ask yourself, According to Whom? Whose expectations and why? Tell yourself 'I'm not an expert but am improving each week.'
- Personalization: Holding yourself accountable for things outside yoru control and assume responsibility for the happiness of those around you --> There are things you Cant control.
-The bigger the goal, the more opportunities to get overwhelmed. Break it into many small very easy goals. Tiny habits lead to big big changes. Smaller goals preserve energy and go further, sustainably.
-Compete w yourself , not other ppl
-Pause to celebrate your wins - document them
- Identify your core values and ask yourself "How might I achieve more ___"
The end
May 11, 2021
Published: May 4, 2021
Chronicle Prism
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.
Melody Wilding is an executive and leadership coach for smart, sensitive high-achievers who are tired of getting in their own way.
Through her private one-on-one coaching program, talks, small-group workshops, and articles, she’s here to help you break free from self-doubt and overwhelm, master your emotions, and use your sensitivity as the superpower that it is.
“I’m also willing to bet that you picked up this book looking for hope—hope that you can change, hope that you can develop steadfast belief in yourself that isn’t contingent on how productive you are, hope that you’re not crazy for being so affected by everything around you.�
This book is filled with activities to help you start implementing positive change immediately, which is fantastic. Melody is so upbeat but realistic. And she frames excellent examples and dames questions and answers, so understanding the process is easy.
Something I took from this book is that it isn’t a book you read straight through. You should take your time, complete the strategies, and allow the information to be fully absorbed before moving on to the next lesson.
Written in such an impactful way, with solid research, this book explained a lot of things I had always felt but didn’t know had names or reasons. I enjoyed diving into the activities and seeing where I fell on the various scales throughout the book.
This is such an intelligent way to help you further your understanding of yourself. You will identify quickly with the warm and engaging writing style, and you will start learning new tips and tricks and start implementing them into your everyday life without realizing it.
Everything about this book is well done. The research is fantastic. The examples are honest and genuine. The client examples used are thorough and comprehensive and apply across just about every career path. Melody went above and beyond to make sure this book would fit into any situation.
The exercises make you think objectively and critically but also allow you to embrace your emotions. You are learning to retrain the way you think, and the result is magical.
I was floored when I learned I am a sensitive striver. I would have never guessed, and in turn, I would have continued my honor roll hangover cycle. The change takes time, and that is the beauty within this book. Melody isn’t expecting you to change anything overnight. She is teaching you the tools to help you implement change over some time, and in turn, allowing you to figure out your balance.
I loved that the answers aren’t just handed to me. I had to do the work. I had to put in the time. And I will continue having to make an effort as I continue my way to finding emotional balance. This is an absolute must-read for anyone who has struggled with themselves when it comes to feeling overwhelmed at work.
Melody is such a charismatic writer, and she is knowledgeable and friendly. She also uses her insight to help further the reader's understanding. So not only are we reading about people who have followed this program, but we are reading about how Melody uses this train of thought.
Success is a goal that has a different meaning to everyone. But this book can help you further your understanding of yourself, which in turn will allow you to take yourself to the next step. Upbeat, honest, and eloquently written, you will adore meeting Melody.
Chronicle Prism
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.
Melody Wilding is an executive and leadership coach for smart, sensitive high-achievers who are tired of getting in their own way.
Through her private one-on-one coaching program, talks, small-group workshops, and articles, she’s here to help you break free from self-doubt and overwhelm, master your emotions, and use your sensitivity as the superpower that it is.
“I’m also willing to bet that you picked up this book looking for hope—hope that you can change, hope that you can develop steadfast belief in yourself that isn’t contingent on how productive you are, hope that you’re not crazy for being so affected by everything around you.�
This book is filled with activities to help you start implementing positive change immediately, which is fantastic. Melody is so upbeat but realistic. And she frames excellent examples and dames questions and answers, so understanding the process is easy.
Something I took from this book is that it isn’t a book you read straight through. You should take your time, complete the strategies, and allow the information to be fully absorbed before moving on to the next lesson.
Written in such an impactful way, with solid research, this book explained a lot of things I had always felt but didn’t know had names or reasons. I enjoyed diving into the activities and seeing where I fell on the various scales throughout the book.
This is such an intelligent way to help you further your understanding of yourself. You will identify quickly with the warm and engaging writing style, and you will start learning new tips and tricks and start implementing them into your everyday life without realizing it.
Everything about this book is well done. The research is fantastic. The examples are honest and genuine. The client examples used are thorough and comprehensive and apply across just about every career path. Melody went above and beyond to make sure this book would fit into any situation.
The exercises make you think objectively and critically but also allow you to embrace your emotions. You are learning to retrain the way you think, and the result is magical.
I was floored when I learned I am a sensitive striver. I would have never guessed, and in turn, I would have continued my honor roll hangover cycle. The change takes time, and that is the beauty within this book. Melody isn’t expecting you to change anything overnight. She is teaching you the tools to help you implement change over some time, and in turn, allowing you to figure out your balance.
I loved that the answers aren’t just handed to me. I had to do the work. I had to put in the time. And I will continue having to make an effort as I continue my way to finding emotional balance. This is an absolute must-read for anyone who has struggled with themselves when it comes to feeling overwhelmed at work.
Melody is such a charismatic writer, and she is knowledgeable and friendly. She also uses her insight to help further the reader's understanding. So not only are we reading about people who have followed this program, but we are reading about how Melody uses this train of thought.
Success is a goal that has a different meaning to everyone. But this book can help you further your understanding of yourself, which in turn will allow you to take yourself to the next step. Upbeat, honest, and eloquently written, you will adore meeting Melody.
May 4, 2021
I’ve been eagerly awaiting Melody Wilding’s new book for more than a year and Trust Yourself more than met my expectations. A contributor to Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Forbes, and Business Insider, Wilding is perhaps best known for her coaching with “Sensitive Strivers�: professionals who are both driven and empathetic and who are looking to “master sensitivity and enjoy success—however you define it—without stress and overwhelm.�
Wilding’s book starts by helping the reader to build self-awareness so they can clearly see how their sensitivity shapes their behavior and how they view themselves. She builds on that by addressing frequent self-sabotage culprits like people-pleasing and overthinking and helps the reader to instill healthier habits. From there, she guides readers in identifying goals that are personally meaningful so they can align their ambition with the core values, and provides tools to sustain this growth.
Wilding shares many real-world examples from her years as a coach and presenter. Reading her clients� stories, I found myself identifying with many of the obstacles, challenges, and difficulties that they described. It is reassuring to learn that self-doubt and “imposter syndrome� are common even among C-suite executives, especially in today’s challenging economy, and can be overcome.
Wilding offers helpful examples and exercises throughout the book, and provides strategies and tips to help readers put these principles into practice in ways that are comfortable and meaningful. She has generously made additional tools and a library of resources available on her website.
Having followed Wilding on social media for several years, I was confident that her book would offer professional guidance with a spirit of encouragement, warmth, and reassurance. With Trust Yourself, she has done all that and more. This is a tremendously positive, helpful, and hope-filled book that I recommend for anyone who would like to move beyond nagging insecurities and self-limiting habits and take a positive first step toward a more confident and satisfying career and life.
Wilding’s book starts by helping the reader to build self-awareness so they can clearly see how their sensitivity shapes their behavior and how they view themselves. She builds on that by addressing frequent self-sabotage culprits like people-pleasing and overthinking and helps the reader to instill healthier habits. From there, she guides readers in identifying goals that are personally meaningful so they can align their ambition with the core values, and provides tools to sustain this growth.
Wilding shares many real-world examples from her years as a coach and presenter. Reading her clients� stories, I found myself identifying with many of the obstacles, challenges, and difficulties that they described. It is reassuring to learn that self-doubt and “imposter syndrome� are common even among C-suite executives, especially in today’s challenging economy, and can be overcome.
Wilding offers helpful examples and exercises throughout the book, and provides strategies and tips to help readers put these principles into practice in ways that are comfortable and meaningful. She has generously made additional tools and a library of resources available on her website.
Having followed Wilding on social media for several years, I was confident that her book would offer professional guidance with a spirit of encouragement, warmth, and reassurance. With Trust Yourself, she has done all that and more. This is a tremendously positive, helpful, and hope-filled book that I recommend for anyone who would like to move beyond nagging insecurities and self-limiting habits and take a positive first step toward a more confident and satisfying career and life.
June 7, 2021
Essential reading for any highly-sensitive high-achiever!
If you've ever felt like you were too sensitive for your job, your team, your life, Wilding teaches you through this book to channel your sensitivity as a super power and to change your mindset around what's "right" and possible in the workplace. With a mix of case study stories, purposeful information, and hands-on exercises, you'll be able to reset your goals and work on your resilience with a functional, step-by-step process that's easy to read and absorb.
I've been following Melody's work for years, and I still learned new things from this book! The Honor Roll Hangover was particularly meaningful for me during this readthrough, along with the stages (sine wave) of change. The Wheel of Balance exercise is now in my regular toolkit, and I check in regularly with my STRIVE qualities to see where I have room for improvement as I make changes and work towards new goals. This book is chock full of meaningful content to sink your mental teeth into (perfect for highly sensitive people), and these exercises are going to be my go-to reflection starters.
My only caveat to picking up this book is that the stories are very corporate-world, traditional business structure focused. I got a lot out of the stories and exercises, but as a small business owner, I had to reach a little deeper to find similar situations that I could apply in my own life.
Anyone, highly sensitive or not, can benefit from even one of the action steps in this book. It's a classic I'll go back to again and again when I need a brush-up or pointers on a new situation.
If you like Dr. Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" and "Quiet" by Susan Cain, you'll love this book.
If you've ever felt like you were too sensitive for your job, your team, your life, Wilding teaches you through this book to channel your sensitivity as a super power and to change your mindset around what's "right" and possible in the workplace. With a mix of case study stories, purposeful information, and hands-on exercises, you'll be able to reset your goals and work on your resilience with a functional, step-by-step process that's easy to read and absorb.
I've been following Melody's work for years, and I still learned new things from this book! The Honor Roll Hangover was particularly meaningful for me during this readthrough, along with the stages (sine wave) of change. The Wheel of Balance exercise is now in my regular toolkit, and I check in regularly with my STRIVE qualities to see where I have room for improvement as I make changes and work towards new goals. This book is chock full of meaningful content to sink your mental teeth into (perfect for highly sensitive people), and these exercises are going to be my go-to reflection starters.
My only caveat to picking up this book is that the stories are very corporate-world, traditional business structure focused. I got a lot out of the stories and exercises, but as a small business owner, I had to reach a little deeper to find similar situations that I could apply in my own life.
Anyone, highly sensitive or not, can benefit from even one of the action steps in this book. It's a classic I'll go back to again and again when I need a brush-up or pointers on a new situation.
If you like Dr. Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" and "Quiet" by Susan Cain, you'll love this book.
February 4, 2022
For years I have made my own reseach trying to understand how I'm wired and why I'm different to almost everybody I know. This have helped me to stop thinking and considering that something was wrong with me, to accept myself as I am, and to continually discover new facets of my personality. As John Gardner puts it:
"Life is an endless unfolding and, if we wish it to be, an endless process of self-discovery, an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our own potentialities and the life situations in which we find ourselves."
Melody Wilding's book includes all that content and structure, in a step by step masterly manner, giving a sequence of what to prioritize, what to tackle, when to act, and how to proceed.
"Trust Yourself" has helped me to deepen on my basis, understand new causes of internal/external imbalances, learn new approaches to act proactively in order to avoid biological automatisms, and how to revert old modes of action, among many, many other learnings and takeaways.
I'm planning to make major changes in my life and now I have the final slabs for their launchpad!
"Life is an endless unfolding and, if we wish it to be, an endless process of self-discovery, an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our own potentialities and the life situations in which we find ourselves."
Melody Wilding's book includes all that content and structure, in a step by step masterly manner, giving a sequence of what to prioritize, what to tackle, when to act, and how to proceed.
"Trust Yourself" has helped me to deepen on my basis, understand new causes of internal/external imbalances, learn new approaches to act proactively in order to avoid biological automatisms, and how to revert old modes of action, among many, many other learnings and takeaways.
I'm planning to make major changes in my life and now I have the final slabs for their launchpad!
July 13, 2021
I purchased this book for a young professionals book club and dove right in. I don't normally finish these types of books because I get bored or feel like they don't apply to me - but this one is different. The way Melody has designed this book allows you to read, reflect, learn and then apply. There are worksheets, quizzes, and interactive guides throughout the book and these were the things that made this book stand out for me. I also really appreciate a book that celebrates parts of people that normally go uncelebrated. I would highly recommend this book for anyone who leads teams and/or anyone who is looking to explore their own preferences and areas of development. I promise you - you will read it happily and quickly and finish it with actionable items to help improve yourself and others.
May 26, 2021
This is one of the most helpful books I’ve read in a long time and I plan to read it once a year just to make sure I keep refreshing the information in my head. Even in the couple of weeks that it took to read and do the exercises, I’ve noticed a difference in how I approach the day. I feel more confident and less of a captive of spiraling thoughts that have often paralyzed me. The exercises are incredibly useful and give you a tool kit to use even after you’ve finished the book. They’re also available on the author’s website to print so you don’t have to keep flipping through the book to remember them. Overall, I’m so glad I found this book and I’m excited to continue using what I’ve learned to build a more balanced and thoughtful life.
August 3, 2021
I did the audiobook of this, which was probably not the wisest choice for me because I tend to daydream and lose track of what's being read to me. BUT I did not want to pay $30 for a hardcover of the book (without knowing if I'd like it or not) and it was too new for my library to have a copy. This was picked for a book club (that I didn't attend b/c I hadn't finished the book yet) and while I liked some of the advice given, I'm not sure that I'm a "sensitive striver". I do look forward to completing the worksheet that accompanied the audiobook (and that I'm sure is available for those reading the physical copy) and seeing how Wilding's advice and experience can help me go further in my career.
October 17, 2021
I attended a webinar of Melody's about boundaries and that was the first time I'd heard the term "Sensitive Striver." It immediately resonated with me and I put her book on hold at my local library as soon as the webinar ended.
This is not a "how-to" book on how to reach your goals even if or in spite of being a Sensitive Striver - thank goodness! This book lays out techniques and exercises to overthink less and harness your Sensitive Striver qualities to achieve your goals, ultimately learning to trust yourself and your emotionality to guide you in life.
This will be a book I reference regularly so I added it to my Christmas wishlist! Melody's website also offers free downloads of the exercises shared in her book
This is not a "how-to" book on how to reach your goals even if or in spite of being a Sensitive Striver - thank goodness! This book lays out techniques and exercises to overthink less and harness your Sensitive Striver qualities to achieve your goals, ultimately learning to trust yourself and your emotionality to guide you in life.
This will be a book I reference regularly so I added it to my Christmas wishlist! Melody's website also offers free downloads of the exercises shared in her book
November 3, 2023
I think if I had this book in paperback rather than as a Kindle edition I would have gotten more out of it. That said I am considering buying this again in a physical format for that reason, there are some exercises and challenges in here that I found interesting and I'd like to give them a go in 2024.
Whilst I read this book through in its entirety (granted over two months) I think that when I reread this I would cherry pick the areas that I need the most work on. That said this is not a long book at all, and for some I think reading through as I did could be enough.
I have already recomended this book to a fellow Sensitive Striver at work, and I have a few other people in mind that might benefit from it as well.
Whilst I read this book through in its entirety (granted over two months) I think that when I reread this I would cherry pick the areas that I need the most work on. That said this is not a long book at all, and for some I think reading through as I did could be enough.
I have already recomended this book to a fellow Sensitive Striver at work, and I have a few other people in mind that might benefit from it as well.
April 9, 2024
Something about this book, in a sea of self-help books, called out to me and I couldn’t be more grateful. I related to so many characteristics that I was crying multiple times while reading� I also, however, felt very encouraged and learned a lot about what to do about my problem areas (decision paralysis and boundary setting are biggies)! The “permission slip� is, was and will be something I will use for any occasion that I need to be my own cheerleader� it is phenomenal and might be my favorite part of the book! I read one “slip� to my therapist and she wanted me to read it aloud daily and do as Melody suggests, keep it close at hand as a very important reminder! It’s just that good! GET THIS BOOK IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
June 23, 2021
(Read to go along with a webinar presented by the author, though it was technically not required due to shipping delays.)
With the usual caveat that you will only ever get as much out of personal development books as you are willing to accept, I found this helpful as an introvert and what Wilding calls a Sensitive Striver. It's for a different demographic than your typical productivity-culture read, so there are concepts and concrete exercises for situations ranging from setting broad life goals (or, like, determining your purpose/ guiding principles in life) to calming yourself down when your emotions run high.
With the usual caveat that you will only ever get as much out of personal development books as you are willing to accept, I found this helpful as an introvert and what Wilding calls a Sensitive Striver. It's for a different demographic than your typical productivity-culture read, so there are concepts and concrete exercises for situations ranging from setting broad life goals (or, like, determining your purpose/ guiding principles in life) to calming yourself down when your emotions run high.
February 6, 2024
If you identify as a Sensitive Striver, this book is for you! If you don't identify as a sensitive striver, this book may also be for you! Wilding's engaging and accessible style makes this book relevant to a wide audience . She makes complex concepts easy to grasp and apply to everyday interactions.
Craving authenticity and depth? You're in the right place. Through targeted thought-provoking exercises, I was nudged to cultivate a deeper connection with the practices. I was able to apply many actions right away.
Also a must-read for anyone striving towards Empathetic Leadership. Highly recommend this book to anyone embarking on a path to activate less common strengths as an advantage.
Craving authenticity and depth? You're in the right place. Through targeted thought-provoking exercises, I was nudged to cultivate a deeper connection with the practices. I was able to apply many actions right away.
Also a must-read for anyone striving towards Empathetic Leadership. Highly recommend this book to anyone embarking on a path to activate less common strengths as an advantage.
February 6, 2025
I started the audiobook because the library didn’t have any copies available then switched to my kindle. I much preferred reading over listening.
The book was an interesting, educational read. It is applicable to my life as I see myself as a sensitive striver. This book gave me some additional tools along with some I already knew but in different, corporate context. I agree with another user that a lot of the exercises would probably help me, but something I didn’t do. There was large quantity of them with the majority being a lengthy task. Thus making them seem taxing.
If you are not in the corporate world I would not suggest reading.
The book was an interesting, educational read. It is applicable to my life as I see myself as a sensitive striver. This book gave me some additional tools along with some I already knew but in different, corporate context. I agree with another user that a lot of the exercises would probably help me, but something I didn’t do. There was large quantity of them with the majority being a lengthy task. Thus making them seem taxing.
If you are not in the corporate world I would not suggest reading.
April 30, 2023
I discovered this book about two years ago. This is an incredibly insightful book that helped me work through some of the challenges I face as a Sensitive Striver.
Melody Widing emphasizes rediscovering sensitivity as a superpower, rather than something to be ashamed of or hide. The book is full of practical advice and actionable steps to help readers face and deal with our challenges. Also, Melody Wilding, has a great presence on LinkedIn and provides a safe and supportive community for readers through her posts and newsletter.
Melody Widing emphasizes rediscovering sensitivity as a superpower, rather than something to be ashamed of or hide. The book is full of practical advice and actionable steps to help readers face and deal with our challenges. Also, Melody Wilding, has a great presence on LinkedIn and provides a safe and supportive community for readers through her posts and newsletter.
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