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395 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 25, 2023
鈥漣n every universe, it鈥檚 you for me.
even if it鈥檚 not me for you.鈥�
鈥漼ou are in all of my happiest places. you are where my mind goes when it needs to be soothed.鈥�
鈥渋 thought i made you 摆鈥 just by wishing.鈥�
鈥渟tupid, stupid, stupid heart. don鈥檛 you know he hasn't been yours to cry over for a long time?鈥�
鈥渋t鈥檚 this feeling like the universe is compacting around me while something in my rib cage is expanding. i鈥檓 the culmination of their lost dreams, their missed other lives, and at the same time, they鈥檙e proud of me.鈥�
鈥渋 sit on the edge of the bed, feeling the loneliness swell, not knowing whether it's pressing against me from the outside or growing from within. either way, it's inescapable, my oldest companion.鈥�
鈥淲hat about you?鈥� he rasps. 鈥淎re you with him?鈥�
There it is. Acid rises through my stomach. A cleaving goes through my chest.
I refuse to cry. Not over something that happened five months ago. Not over someone who鈥檚 already told me he doesn鈥檛 want me.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 what you think of me?鈥� I scoot back from him until the wall meets my back. 鈥淵ou still honestly believe I cheated on you, and beyond that, you think I鈥檇 turn around and do it to someone else too.鈥�
鈥淭hat鈥檚 not what I鈥檓 saying,鈥� Wyn says, his voice gravelly. 鈥淚鈥檓 not accusing you of anything! I鈥檓 trying to ask听.听.听.鈥�
鈥淭rying to ask what, Wyn?鈥� I demand.
鈥淚f you鈥檙e happy,鈥� he says. 鈥淚 want to know that you鈥檙e happy too.鈥�
鈥淚t鈥檚 amazing. Seeing you like this. So happy.鈥�
He studies me for a beat before dropping his gaze on a nod. 鈥淚 am. I鈥檓 really happy.鈥�
摆鈥
鈥淵ou too, right?鈥� He matches my gaze.
That seesaw feeling rocks through me. 鈥淵eah,鈥� I say. 鈥淢e too.鈥�
鈥淕ood,鈥� he says softly.