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Blackbird: A Childhood Lost and Found
With the startling emotional immediacy of a fractured family photo album, Jennifer Lauck's incandescent memoir is the story of an ordinary girl growing up at the turn of the 1970s and the truly extraordinary circumstances of a childhood lost. Wrenching and unforgettable, Blackbird will carry your heart away.
To young Jenny, the house on Mary Street was home -- the place where she was loved, a blue-sky world of Barbies, Bewitched, and the Beatles. Even her mother's pain from her mysterious illness could be patted away with powder and a kiss on the cheek. But when everything that Jenny had come to rely on begins to crumble, an odyssey of loss, loneliness, and a child's will to survive takes flight....
To young Jenny, the house on Mary Street was home -- the place where she was loved, a blue-sky world of Barbies, Bewitched, and the Beatles. Even her mother's pain from her mysterious illness could be patted away with powder and a kiss on the cheek. But when everything that Jenny had come to rely on begins to crumble, an odyssey of loss, loneliness, and a child's will to survive takes flight....
432 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
88 people are currently reading
11k people want to read
About the author
Jennifer Lauck
9Ìýbooks309ÌýfollowersThe international bestseller of Blackbird, Still Waters, Show Me the Way, Found and The Summer of '72, author of Flight School on Substack and teacher @ The Blackbird Studio for Writers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 699 reviews
March 13, 2010
Is it wrong to review my own book? Heck no! I wrote it. Who better than me to speak about it?
What Blackbird is: a view into my own experience of childhood at a time when all I could do was be a first person, present tense witness. I wrote Blackbird from a place of longing to love and be loved as well as to speak to what I saw, lived, felt and questioned about that time. I was digging into the question of mother--as it was time in my life to become a mother. I wanted know my mother--not realizing that I was truly longing for the mother who gave me life. My only memory was of the mother who adopted me and then died after a long struggle with a complex form of tumor growth in her spine. So I began there--with Janet, Bud and then Bryan. I wrote our life and told the story of events that continued to unfold--going from bad to worse and yet--as all dissolved around me--how I continued to move forward and step into each day.
Blackbird is a tiny testimony about survival and what we, as humans and as forms of greatness, can endure and transcend. It was not the end though, it was the beginning. The story that came next was Still Waters. But that is a different review.
(FIve stars?? YES, I give myself five stars. I give every writer five stars. If you have the courage and tenacity and patience to write and then publish a book, you are a five star writer in my book.)
What Blackbird is: a view into my own experience of childhood at a time when all I could do was be a first person, present tense witness. I wrote Blackbird from a place of longing to love and be loved as well as to speak to what I saw, lived, felt and questioned about that time. I was digging into the question of mother--as it was time in my life to become a mother. I wanted know my mother--not realizing that I was truly longing for the mother who gave me life. My only memory was of the mother who adopted me and then died after a long struggle with a complex form of tumor growth in her spine. So I began there--with Janet, Bud and then Bryan. I wrote our life and told the story of events that continued to unfold--going from bad to worse and yet--as all dissolved around me--how I continued to move forward and step into each day.
Blackbird is a tiny testimony about survival and what we, as humans and as forms of greatness, can endure and transcend. It was not the end though, it was the beginning. The story that came next was Still Waters. But that is a different review.
(FIve stars?? YES, I give myself five stars. I give every writer five stars. If you have the courage and tenacity and patience to write and then publish a book, you are a five star writer in my book.)
March 18, 2009
i'm not sure if anyone even reads my reviews so i'm not sure why i write them.
i'm on page 222 of this book and it is breaking my heart so much that i'm torn between quitting reading the book or hurrying up to finish it in hopes that it gets better. Knowing that this is the author's memoir and that that these awful things happen to a young child is killing me...even though I went through some of the same things. It's hard to know others have been through your most painful life moments. I've cried I don't know how many times trying to get through this book. I keep looking at the author's photo on the back of the book. She's pretty and smiling. How do we do that? How do we move on? Somehow we do.
done. moving on to the follow up book, Still Waters. This was an incredibly hard book to make it through. I'm hoping that the author's life starts to get better in the sequel. What a brave little girl she was!
i'm on page 222 of this book and it is breaking my heart so much that i'm torn between quitting reading the book or hurrying up to finish it in hopes that it gets better. Knowing that this is the author's memoir and that that these awful things happen to a young child is killing me...even though I went through some of the same things. It's hard to know others have been through your most painful life moments. I've cried I don't know how many times trying to get through this book. I keep looking at the author's photo on the back of the book. She's pretty and smiling. How do we do that? How do we move on? Somehow we do.
done. moving on to the follow up book, Still Waters. This was an incredibly hard book to make it through. I'm hoping that the author's life starts to get better in the sequel. What a brave little girl she was!
August 3, 2017
I am fascinated by survival stories, as a survivor myself.
It interests me to look into someone else's experience. As children we just don't always understand what is going on. Yet you do your best to survive and make sense of your life.
How someone else managed is interesting to me.
I may have arrived at the doorstep of adulthood floating on a plank...but in my case, "only God can restore the years that the locust hath eaten"! He is, and not only that, working all things for GOOD.
It interests me to look into someone else's experience. As children we just don't always understand what is going on. Yet you do your best to survive and make sense of your life.
How someone else managed is interesting to me.
I may have arrived at the doorstep of adulthood floating on a plank...but in my case, "only God can restore the years that the locust hath eaten"! He is, and not only that, working all things for GOOD.
August 6, 2007
Loved this book. It was like a huge wallop of a punch to my stomach though. Jennifer Lauck’s memoir really got to me emotionally; it was a book that I thought about for a long time after I read it. She shows a remarkable resilience for suffering what she did. Contributed to changing my beliefs about one’s ability to cope and heal, at least for some people in some circumstances, no matter how horrible the circumstances. Lovely child's voice: she really remembers what it's like to be a child.
February 24, 2013
Memoirs by women are my favorite type of book to read. This book is written from a child's perspective which takes some getting used to. That said, her writing is very good. It is a story of childhood innocence and survival. Her story reminds you of your childhood and how vulnerable a child is to the harsh realities of life. I found myself thinking about being a parent and how incredibly difficult it is to raise children right. To do your best. I believe all of the adults in Jennifer's life (the author's) did their best or the best they could do at the time, but their own circumstances influenced how they behaved as parents.
It is a story of hardship and cruel treatment by some adults in the author's life but it does not get weighed down in it. It is not a tear-jerker. However, what the author misses in this story is the development of her adult caretakers' personalities. She gives us a fair understanding of her mother and father but the stepmother is seen as a manipulator and not much beyond. Of course during the entire book I wondered how Jennifer could remember as much as she did. A child cannot see or understand the depth of who their parents or stepparent are. So in most ways, the story is the way it is because she is writing in first person as a little girl who is only able to comprehend what a little girl can.
She wants to be loved, she wants to be good. She takes care of her first mother in a way that goes far beyond what a child should be expected to do for her mother. That alone made me question how and why the father did not hire someone to take care of his wife. I kept thinking of their circumstances - how they moved away from their families to live in California - when in my mind, they should have remained where they were - in Carson - so they would have help.
Sink or swim. Jennifer learns how to swim but not in the correct fashion - she just swims to stay alive. A wonderful book and one that is going to stay with me over time.
It is a story of hardship and cruel treatment by some adults in the author's life but it does not get weighed down in it. It is not a tear-jerker. However, what the author misses in this story is the development of her adult caretakers' personalities. She gives us a fair understanding of her mother and father but the stepmother is seen as a manipulator and not much beyond. Of course during the entire book I wondered how Jennifer could remember as much as she did. A child cannot see or understand the depth of who their parents or stepparent are. So in most ways, the story is the way it is because she is writing in first person as a little girl who is only able to comprehend what a little girl can.
She wants to be loved, she wants to be good. She takes care of her first mother in a way that goes far beyond what a child should be expected to do for her mother. That alone made me question how and why the father did not hire someone to take care of his wife. I kept thinking of their circumstances - how they moved away from their families to live in California - when in my mind, they should have remained where they were - in Carson - so they would have help.
Sink or swim. Jennifer learns how to swim but not in the correct fashion - she just swims to stay alive. A wonderful book and one that is going to stay with me over time.
September 29, 2014
Hated it. Pretty much the most boring, torturous book I have ever read. Although compared by people to Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes (I have no idea why), it's not even in the same solar system. Glad to see the New York Times book reviewer agreed with me - even if Oprah didn't.
June 17, 2008
I am a big fan of memoirs and have read dozens. I liked this memoir...it was interesting, sad, and moving. But I felt at times that the author was a bit dramatic in her description of her mistreatment by her "wicked" stepmother, Deb, and that she came off as a bit spoiled and bratty. I think that Deb probably really wanted to be a good stepmother to Jenny, initially, but it sounds like Jenny did nothing to cooperate and rebuffed any and all attempts to make that possible in any way. In the end, I think Deb threw up her hands and gave up on Jenny. There is no doubt that Deb was a Type A personality and was demanding of her children. But beyond a few things that she did towards the end of Jenny's life with her, she really didn't do anything evil or wicked.
Some of the "evils" that Deb forced upon poor Jenny were: making her eat healthy food, participating in sports, exercising, taking vitamins, and doing daily chores such as cleaning the bathroom. The horror! That sounds like pretty normal (or at least in the normal-range) of parenting to me, although she did go overboard with the running. It wasn't until Jenny was forced to live in the church commune that Deb qualified for the evil stepmother moniker. And I couldn't figure out if Deb was really manipulated by the church to do this as a misguided attempt to get Jenny to "tow the line" or not, because Deb never made the brother Bryan do that and he tried to cooperate a lot more with Deb and her family. Jenny just came across as VERY spoiled...for instance refusing to take vitamins and flushing them down the toilet, deciding to watch tv instead of doing her chores, being difficult and disrespectful, and just being extremely defiant with everything Deb asked of her. I personally think her own father was more abusive to Jenny by leaving her daily to clean up the awful messes that her own mother left for her and by leaving the family alone for extended periods of time to earn money and have extra-marital affairs. I would much rather eat healthy and jog than clean up excrement, vomit, urine, etc. that she had to do for her mother at age 5. Her brother Bryan was also depicted as being very mean to her.
I am always suspicious of someone that is treated cruelly by virtually everyone they come in contact with. I believe that most people in the world are good and kind, and I find it hard to believe that almost every person that touched Jenny's life was evil and cruel. She is one unlucky person!!I hear that in her second novel, that Jenny's Aunt and Uncle supposedly were unkind and treated her like a slave. However if it is like Deb treating her like a slave, that probably meant that they made her babysit and do a few chores around the house. Oh, and supposedly both Deb and the Aunt/Uncle were ONLY after the social security money/benefits that they got for watching Deb. If you have ever looked at your monthly SS benefit statement then you will know that it is not nearly enough to warrant the responsibility of raising a child unless you really want to do that out of the goodness of your heart. In today's money, you would probably receive about $1000 per month in benefits. Clothing, food, shoes, doctor appts., etc. would take about 60%-80% of that...so why would ANYONE do it for the money??? Anyone who has children knows how difficult it is to raise a child properly...would you take in another child for $200 per month "for the money"? That is crazy! You would only do that if you really cared about the child...not for $200 (after expenses). That works out to 28 cents per hour. For the money? I think not! Even if they had no expenses and got to keep the entire $1000 per month...that works out to $1.38 per hour. Again, who would do that "for the money" when anyone who has children knows that it is the hardest (and best) job in the world???
I feel for Jennifer Lauck, because it sounds like her life has been one miserable event after another. I just think that when your life is repeatedly miserable and that person after person is evil and cruel to you...that perhaps you should look inward to what YOU are doing to provoke the misery in your own life. Of course this wasn't possible when she was 5 years old...but I would think that as an adult she could reflect back and see that the people in her past were NOT all evil and that she could see her own contributions to her miserable past.
The writers of the memoirs "Angela's Ashes" and "The Glass Castle" have moved on and seem to be doing so well in their lives. It just seems as though Jennifer Lauck cannot move on and continues to live her life through her miserable past. She has written FOUR memoirs for goodness sake, and she is only in her 40's. Really, it is time to move on and create a new life that doesn't focus on and continually relive her miserable childhood.
Some of the "evils" that Deb forced upon poor Jenny were: making her eat healthy food, participating in sports, exercising, taking vitamins, and doing daily chores such as cleaning the bathroom. The horror! That sounds like pretty normal (or at least in the normal-range) of parenting to me, although she did go overboard with the running. It wasn't until Jenny was forced to live in the church commune that Deb qualified for the evil stepmother moniker. And I couldn't figure out if Deb was really manipulated by the church to do this as a misguided attempt to get Jenny to "tow the line" or not, because Deb never made the brother Bryan do that and he tried to cooperate a lot more with Deb and her family. Jenny just came across as VERY spoiled...for instance refusing to take vitamins and flushing them down the toilet, deciding to watch tv instead of doing her chores, being difficult and disrespectful, and just being extremely defiant with everything Deb asked of her. I personally think her own father was more abusive to Jenny by leaving her daily to clean up the awful messes that her own mother left for her and by leaving the family alone for extended periods of time to earn money and have extra-marital affairs. I would much rather eat healthy and jog than clean up excrement, vomit, urine, etc. that she had to do for her mother at age 5. Her brother Bryan was also depicted as being very mean to her.
I am always suspicious of someone that is treated cruelly by virtually everyone they come in contact with. I believe that most people in the world are good and kind, and I find it hard to believe that almost every person that touched Jenny's life was evil and cruel. She is one unlucky person!!I hear that in her second novel, that Jenny's Aunt and Uncle supposedly were unkind and treated her like a slave. However if it is like Deb treating her like a slave, that probably meant that they made her babysit and do a few chores around the house. Oh, and supposedly both Deb and the Aunt/Uncle were ONLY after the social security money/benefits that they got for watching Deb. If you have ever looked at your monthly SS benefit statement then you will know that it is not nearly enough to warrant the responsibility of raising a child unless you really want to do that out of the goodness of your heart. In today's money, you would probably receive about $1000 per month in benefits. Clothing, food, shoes, doctor appts., etc. would take about 60%-80% of that...so why would ANYONE do it for the money??? Anyone who has children knows how difficult it is to raise a child properly...would you take in another child for $200 per month "for the money"? That is crazy! You would only do that if you really cared about the child...not for $200 (after expenses). That works out to 28 cents per hour. For the money? I think not! Even if they had no expenses and got to keep the entire $1000 per month...that works out to $1.38 per hour. Again, who would do that "for the money" when anyone who has children knows that it is the hardest (and best) job in the world???
I feel for Jennifer Lauck, because it sounds like her life has been one miserable event after another. I just think that when your life is repeatedly miserable and that person after person is evil and cruel to you...that perhaps you should look inward to what YOU are doing to provoke the misery in your own life. Of course this wasn't possible when she was 5 years old...but I would think that as an adult she could reflect back and see that the people in her past were NOT all evil and that she could see her own contributions to her miserable past.
The writers of the memoirs "Angela's Ashes" and "The Glass Castle" have moved on and seem to be doing so well in their lives. It just seems as though Jennifer Lauck cannot move on and continues to live her life through her miserable past. She has written FOUR memoirs for goodness sake, and she is only in her 40's. Really, it is time to move on and create a new life that doesn't focus on and continually relive her miserable childhood.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 18, 2010
Would you ever let anything bad happen to your daughter or sister? Well, in the book Blackbird, written by Jennifer Lauck, that's really all that does happen to young Jennifer. She is a great main character because she is very independent and optimistic. That's part of why I love this book. It's amazing to read how this little girl did everything on her own, even though she had been dealt a bad hand. That makes it very emotional. As soon as she overcame one obstacle, another one just as hard came along. This is why the all of the conflicts complete the book.
Blackbird is a great book because it's very emotional. Throughout most of the book, the reader will want to cry. Reading how much this little girl had to go through has touch the reader's heart. You would think after everything that happened, such as when her mom died, she would shut out the world. That's not what she did at all. She tried to make the best of everything that came her way. The other thing that makes it emotional is that everything that happened to Jennifer actually happened in her lifetime.
The characters are another reason why I love this book. The book is more interesting to read because it comes from the perspective of a little girl. Jennifer is so full of love and kindness. "The best part of seeing Momma is how she always calls me Sunshine and how there's that look in her dark brown eyes. It's one of those special looks for special people." Jennifer observes and loves even the slightest gestures from her mom such as the way she looks at her.
All of the conflicts make the book complete. The book made me mad and upset when I read everything that happened to Jennifer. It was problem after problem after problem. Jennifer's mom died, her dad remarried to a mean woman with mean children, she got sent away to summer camp and got raped, her father died, her step mom kicked her out, etc. Over the course of seven years, from ages 5 to 12, Jennifer overcame all of those situations on her own. That just proves how independent she was.
Blackbird is an amazing book because it's very emotional. I know when I read something, I like to either laugh or read about the characters' emotions. That's what this book will make the reader do if one reads it. The characters also help in doing that. Because the characters all existed and everything they did actually happened makes everything better. I like stories that are interesting, dramatic, and true. It wasn't like there were just one or two real conflicts, there were numerous. So, would you want to read this book?
Blackbird is a great book because it's very emotional. Throughout most of the book, the reader will want to cry. Reading how much this little girl had to go through has touch the reader's heart. You would think after everything that happened, such as when her mom died, she would shut out the world. That's not what she did at all. She tried to make the best of everything that came her way. The other thing that makes it emotional is that everything that happened to Jennifer actually happened in her lifetime.
The characters are another reason why I love this book. The book is more interesting to read because it comes from the perspective of a little girl. Jennifer is so full of love and kindness. "The best part of seeing Momma is how she always calls me Sunshine and how there's that look in her dark brown eyes. It's one of those special looks for special people." Jennifer observes and loves even the slightest gestures from her mom such as the way she looks at her.
All of the conflicts make the book complete. The book made me mad and upset when I read everything that happened to Jennifer. It was problem after problem after problem. Jennifer's mom died, her dad remarried to a mean woman with mean children, she got sent away to summer camp and got raped, her father died, her step mom kicked her out, etc. Over the course of seven years, from ages 5 to 12, Jennifer overcame all of those situations on her own. That just proves how independent she was.
Blackbird is an amazing book because it's very emotional. I know when I read something, I like to either laugh or read about the characters' emotions. That's what this book will make the reader do if one reads it. The characters also help in doing that. Because the characters all existed and everything they did actually happened makes everything better. I like stories that are interesting, dramatic, and true. It wasn't like there were just one or two real conflicts, there were numerous. So, would you want to read this book?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 21, 2018
I don't know what all of the hype was about and to be completely honest I question the authenticity of this memoir. It came off an overdramatized whine fest and pity party by a bitter middle aged woman unable to come to terms with her childhood seeking attention.
1. While she claims her stepmother was evil I failed to see this noticing only that the stepmother belongs to some crazy cult, forces the Lauck children to join this cult, and believes New Age Whackos can cure her gravely ill husband better than doctors at the hospital. No mention of beatings or starvation. Where is all of this supposed abuse?
2. The author spends the summer at some camp run by the stepmother's cult and after being unable to swim when ordered to do so is repeatedly thrown into the deep end by an aggressive counselor until she is nearly drowned and then sentenced to 20 twenty hours of hard labor according to the demerits she is given. Her father happens upon her pulling weeds by hand, is clearly confused about what his daughter is doing and suggests she stop, but ultimately does nothing about the humiliating and sadistic madness his children are being subjected to. Her father was supposedly her hero not to mention that anyone with half a brain would ascertain that this crazy cult needs to be investigated and run not walk to the nearest Exit. What a devoted and loving father Daddy Dearest was to let this blatant abuse of his children continue!
3. The author is supposedly sent to live alone in a group home in Los Angeles belonging to the stepmother's cult, because she is obviously very unhappy at home. In this residence she is the only child and must work for her keep then walk 20 blocks one way to get to her elementary school....at 10 years old. The adults are indifferent to her and do not question this arrangement, which I find to be very strange because an unsupervised child is a huge liability and use of child labor is illegal. She essentially drops out of school to wander around the city like a homeless orphan and basically runs wild somehow managing to avoid falling prey to creeps, but no one ever notices or questions why she is out at all hours and the school does not investigate why she is not coming to school,which again is illegal in all 50 states.
4. Her stepmother eventually invites her back to live with the blended family, but says the family is too poor to afford professional movers and apparently no adults are available to help, so little Jenny must move her entire bedroom set by herself to the new residence.....by dragging the heavy furniture for over a dozen blocks one way across busy city streets for several hours in broad daylight. Again I ask, where on Earth do people just stand around and watch something so obviously jacked up like this without intervening and calling the police?! What sane person, child or adult, is going to agree to such a ridiculous not to mention dangerous task?! In the same way 'Deb' arranged for Jenny's furniture to be delivered to the cult's group home she could very well arrange for the furniture to be moved to the new residence and if that could not be arranged then little Jenny did not need that stuff so desperately as to go along with Deb's senseless suggestion! It makes no sense whatsoever.
5. The author is located at age 11 by her aunt and uncle who have supposedly been searching the entire city, the 2nd largest city in the entire country without any of the modern navigational tools mind you, for her and her older brother. They happen upon her completely by chance as she leaves her home and walks down a crowded street. Do I really need to explain why that is about as likely as a pig flying? They scoop up Jenny and her brother and take them to a hotel, but for some strange reason they tell 'Deb' where they are with the children and predictably 'Deb' shows up threatening to call the police if the Lauck children are not returned to her possession. Several weeks later however, 'Deb' abruptly sends first the author's brother away and then shortly after puts Jenny on a bus back to Nevada to her grandparents. How is it that this woman who threatened to report her in-laws for kidnapping just a short time ago, decides out of the blue that she no longer wants the orphaned stepchildren and their much needed source of monthly income?
Bottom line is something is not right here and I do not believe we are being given the 100% Gospel Truth in this memoir. Long before the author's relatives 'rescued' her, the stepmother and her whackjob cult should have been reported to the authorities and the Lauck children removed from their toxic influence. In researching this book I found that there has been some questioning of the authenticity of this book and I am inclined to believe the opposer.
1. While she claims her stepmother was evil I failed to see this noticing only that the stepmother belongs to some crazy cult, forces the Lauck children to join this cult, and believes New Age Whackos can cure her gravely ill husband better than doctors at the hospital. No mention of beatings or starvation. Where is all of this supposed abuse?
2. The author spends the summer at some camp run by the stepmother's cult and after being unable to swim when ordered to do so is repeatedly thrown into the deep end by an aggressive counselor until she is nearly drowned and then sentenced to 20 twenty hours of hard labor according to the demerits she is given. Her father happens upon her pulling weeds by hand, is clearly confused about what his daughter is doing and suggests she stop, but ultimately does nothing about the humiliating and sadistic madness his children are being subjected to. Her father was supposedly her hero not to mention that anyone with half a brain would ascertain that this crazy cult needs to be investigated and run not walk to the nearest Exit. What a devoted and loving father Daddy Dearest was to let this blatant abuse of his children continue!
3. The author is supposedly sent to live alone in a group home in Los Angeles belonging to the stepmother's cult, because she is obviously very unhappy at home. In this residence she is the only child and must work for her keep then walk 20 blocks one way to get to her elementary school....at 10 years old. The adults are indifferent to her and do not question this arrangement, which I find to be very strange because an unsupervised child is a huge liability and use of child labor is illegal. She essentially drops out of school to wander around the city like a homeless orphan and basically runs wild somehow managing to avoid falling prey to creeps, but no one ever notices or questions why she is out at all hours and the school does not investigate why she is not coming to school,which again is illegal in all 50 states.
4. Her stepmother eventually invites her back to live with the blended family, but says the family is too poor to afford professional movers and apparently no adults are available to help, so little Jenny must move her entire bedroom set by herself to the new residence.....by dragging the heavy furniture for over a dozen blocks one way across busy city streets for several hours in broad daylight. Again I ask, where on Earth do people just stand around and watch something so obviously jacked up like this without intervening and calling the police?! What sane person, child or adult, is going to agree to such a ridiculous not to mention dangerous task?! In the same way 'Deb' arranged for Jenny's furniture to be delivered to the cult's group home she could very well arrange for the furniture to be moved to the new residence and if that could not be arranged then little Jenny did not need that stuff so desperately as to go along with Deb's senseless suggestion! It makes no sense whatsoever.
5. The author is located at age 11 by her aunt and uncle who have supposedly been searching the entire city, the 2nd largest city in the entire country without any of the modern navigational tools mind you, for her and her older brother. They happen upon her completely by chance as she leaves her home and walks down a crowded street. Do I really need to explain why that is about as likely as a pig flying? They scoop up Jenny and her brother and take them to a hotel, but for some strange reason they tell 'Deb' where they are with the children and predictably 'Deb' shows up threatening to call the police if the Lauck children are not returned to her possession. Several weeks later however, 'Deb' abruptly sends first the author's brother away and then shortly after puts Jenny on a bus back to Nevada to her grandparents. How is it that this woman who threatened to report her in-laws for kidnapping just a short time ago, decides out of the blue that she no longer wants the orphaned stepchildren and their much needed source of monthly income?
Bottom line is something is not right here and I do not believe we are being given the 100% Gospel Truth in this memoir. Long before the author's relatives 'rescued' her, the stepmother and her whackjob cult should have been reported to the authorities and the Lauck children removed from their toxic influence. In researching this book I found that there has been some questioning of the authenticity of this book and I am inclined to believe the opposer.
December 12, 2015
You might like this book, I don't know you. The ending chapters were rushed, but the book overall was good.
I kept wondering about her teeth, schizophrenia, legal action, but the jacket said the author was working on a second volume. I'll be looking for it.
I kept wondering about her teeth, schizophrenia, legal action, but the jacket said the author was working on a second volume. I'll be looking for it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2014
As a member of the club of adoptees and persons who were in the "system", this is a deeply penetrating memoir. It brings up disturbing memories, but those that need to be exorcized. I started a recollection of my life and called it 'a child still waits'...this memoir gets so close it's scary. I only know of one person who might grasp what this meant to me to read another person's young painful and redemptive survival. She will know who she is. If she hasn't read this, she should. I did't find any answers, but I did find that, even though I understand there are many of us who are still in search and looking for answers, this book said so much of what I feel, so much of what I don't want to feel...............
Any of you who haven't come through the system, and think you know what it's like to not know where you belong...this young woman has given voice to our fears and longing.
This is an incredible narrative and I would love to meet her and share my story.
I was adopted at 3, then "unadopted" and sent away at 7. The story gets more interesting...and at 66 years old now, I still have wonders and wishes about how it could all happen and why. But...I have a fantastic life and a wonderful man (26 years so far!)This doesn't make everything all even, but it's tolerable.
Sorry..this was supposed to be a review of the book. I guess it is.....it made me very contemplative!
Any of you who haven't come through the system, and think you know what it's like to not know where you belong...this young woman has given voice to our fears and longing.
This is an incredible narrative and I would love to meet her and share my story.
I was adopted at 3, then "unadopted" and sent away at 7. The story gets more interesting...and at 66 years old now, I still have wonders and wishes about how it could all happen and why. But...I have a fantastic life and a wonderful man (26 years so far!)This doesn't make everything all even, but it's tolerable.
Sorry..this was supposed to be a review of the book. I guess it is.....it made me very contemplative!
April 7, 2010
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
Most of the time I don't read those little quotes or whatever you have to call them on the first pages of a book but this is so correct, sums everything up so beautiful. After everything that happened to her, she found somewhere the courage to carry on or was to stuburn to give up..
The begining of the book was a bit hard, when she talks about her mother in the words and thoughts of a 5-6 yo girl but then at a certain point the book gets an hold on you. There are so many terrible things happening, you feel the hopelesness of a frighten little girl when her mother was still alive and her trying to fit in with her new family but realising that she's just not accepted. I can't say what part moved me the most. Maybe the part of her learning how to swim has it all, 'specially the way her father reacted, it felt like such a betrayal. This is a story that will stay with you for a long time. Sometimes you think things can't get worse but they did but even when she was down and out, she still found a way to be happy and make the best of it...
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
Most of the time I don't read those little quotes or whatever you have to call them on the first pages of a book but this is so correct, sums everything up so beautiful. After everything that happened to her, she found somewhere the courage to carry on or was to stuburn to give up..
The begining of the book was a bit hard, when she talks about her mother in the words and thoughts of a 5-6 yo girl but then at a certain point the book gets an hold on you. There are so many terrible things happening, you feel the hopelesness of a frighten little girl when her mother was still alive and her trying to fit in with her new family but realising that she's just not accepted. I can't say what part moved me the most. Maybe the part of her learning how to swim has it all, 'specially the way her father reacted, it felt like such a betrayal. This is a story that will stay with you for a long time. Sometimes you think things can't get worse but they did but even when she was down and out, she still found a way to be happy and make the best of it...
December 13, 2012
What do I think? I think, "was Deb out of her flipping mind??!!" Was it just the times, the 1970's cult era? I mean what the h*ll was going on in this kid's life? Jennifer Lauck writes of her childhood, and it is disturbing.
She is praised by critics for her ability to write in the voice of a child. I agree, she does this well. I've got lots of questions, but I guess if she wanted to fill in the blanks she would have done so. I mean, just stuff that sticks in my mind like, were the teeth she got knocked out baby or permanent? Was she without front teeth until dental work was done? Someone tells me a true story and I want to know more where things don't link up or are unfinished. And that would just be the start of my questions. Even the UCLA death summary for her mother left me with questions.
I must admit I would also be very interested to read all the other character's memoirs as everything looks different to each individual.
No matter what, this is painful reading, shocking, painful reading. I'm glad Jenny Lauck made it through.
She is praised by critics for her ability to write in the voice of a child. I agree, she does this well. I've got lots of questions, but I guess if she wanted to fill in the blanks she would have done so. I mean, just stuff that sticks in my mind like, were the teeth she got knocked out baby or permanent? Was she without front teeth until dental work was done? Someone tells me a true story and I want to know more where things don't link up or are unfinished. And that would just be the start of my questions. Even the UCLA death summary for her mother left me with questions.
I must admit I would also be very interested to read all the other character's memoirs as everything looks different to each individual.
No matter what, this is painful reading, shocking, painful reading. I'm glad Jenny Lauck made it through.
August 26, 2019
I listened to the audio book read by the author. For the first part I felt annoyed listening to a childs voice that I could not relate to. But, there came a point, when she connected with woman down the street, when you could see how she felt about and thought about someone who was not her mother, someone who was outside her family, and it was deeply moving. From then on, I was attached to the character, and the story. A soul full of spark. A soul who survived possibly only, because she felt loved. Not all the kids in this situation fair so well.
May 2, 2010
The book must have been on my shelves for at least a decade before I picked it up. I had no idea what a treasure it is. I found it on one of those "take a book, leave a book" shelves at the gym. It looked brand new and never read. I was completely sucked in and could not put it down. This book will make you never feel sorry for yourself again. It is hard to imagine a young child going through life where no one helped her, not even her own family - specifically - her brother. I suppose that he had his own battle to fight. It brings to light a great deficit in our society, the fact that people are often wrapped up in themselves and turn a blind eye to other's - specifically this suffering child. The book leaves you wanting more. It leaves you with countless questions. It leaves you hating a woman by the name of Deb, but somehow the author found forgiveness, and you know this by her wishing things could have been different as she looks at Deb for the last time. I finished 400 pages in 2 days.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 29, 2009
I read this memoir as part of an independent study. The author recalls her painful childhood: mother dies when she's about six, father marries a woman who has three children of her own, and then he dies too. The stepmother is appalling: favors her own children, sends Jenny to a camp run by Scientologists (where she's molested), and eventually puts her by herself in a kind of Scientologist homeless shelter. The book is written like a novel (long conversations -- whose memory is that good?), and I suspect there's a lot of exaggeration. The style is simple and sort of childlike, as if she's trying to capture her own voice at that age, but it irritated me. Still, it was fun hating the evil stepmother and her evil twin daughters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 23, 2008
This memoir was one of the most heartwrenching books I have ever read. After she lost her mother, I wasn't ready for the successive tragedies that followed. The title is fitting - she did indeed find her childhood by telling her story through the eyes of the girl she was, full of innocence. I'm in awe over how she could find the strength to tell the story from this perspective; it would open up such deep wounds.
It reminded me of Wall's The Glass Castle: both authors survived unimagineably difficult childhoods that appeared somewhat normal to outsiders, preventing anyone from taking action to remove these girls from their situations.
It reminded me of Wall's The Glass Castle: both authors survived unimagineably difficult childhoods that appeared somewhat normal to outsiders, preventing anyone from taking action to remove these girls from their situations.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2008
This is another of the many books that makes me wish goodreads offered 1/2 stars -- I'd give it a 3.5. I really liked it, but recognize that it's a classic hard-childhood tearjerker. I like Hope Edelman's (author of "Motherless Daughters") synopsis: "This is one of those rare books that captures both the innocence of the child narrator and the wisdom of the adult author...BLACKBIRD is both a tribute to the author's mother and to her own powers of survival." That said, I do think it's a powerful story about a child's tenacity and resilience, and definitely a pageturner.
December 12, 2020
I have read quite a few memoirs, they have all been good, most of them really good. This one, it's one of the best. The story is told in her voice as a child, and it is a story of survival and strength.
April 17, 2018
What a story! Highly recommend it.
October 22, 2007
This memoir is not for the faint of heart. It is intense and while you read you are wishing that it is fiction. It is hard to believe that someone could endure all that this little girl did. I actually found myself feeling very depressed as I read. I contemplated numerous times not finishing because it was so hard to get through. It is overwhelming to think that I can barely even make myself read about what a little child actually had to live.
This book brought up a very important question in my life. Should we avoid those things that cause us emotional stress and turmoil because they are bad for our spirit? But in avoiding those realities do we allow ourselves to live in comfortable detached from reality world? There are times while reading this book I wanted to put it out of mind and convince myself that stories like this never happen, that there aren’t children in our world suffering. I felt like it was too hard to handle the reality and it was easier to just ignore the truth. I believe that if we ignore these stories, stop watching the news, and distance ourselves from realities that may make us depressed we can live in a very comfortable world. But, I don’t believe we should. I believe that feeling uncomfortable is necessary to elicit change. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel the pain and sorrow that is around us, we won’t be motivated to alleviate that pain and sorrow. This book has inspired me to do all that is in my ability to help orphaned children. To give a chance to those children that have everything stacked against them. While reading this book I kept thinking isn’t there anyone out there that can reach out and help this little child. I will never forget that feeling and hope that I can be that type of person.
This book brought up a very important question in my life. Should we avoid those things that cause us emotional stress and turmoil because they are bad for our spirit? But in avoiding those realities do we allow ourselves to live in comfortable detached from reality world? There are times while reading this book I wanted to put it out of mind and convince myself that stories like this never happen, that there aren’t children in our world suffering. I felt like it was too hard to handle the reality and it was easier to just ignore the truth. I believe that if we ignore these stories, stop watching the news, and distance ourselves from realities that may make us depressed we can live in a very comfortable world. But, I don’t believe we should. I believe that feeling uncomfortable is necessary to elicit change. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel the pain and sorrow that is around us, we won’t be motivated to alleviate that pain and sorrow. This book has inspired me to do all that is in my ability to help orphaned children. To give a chance to those children that have everything stacked against them. While reading this book I kept thinking isn’t there anyone out there that can reach out and help this little child. I will never forget that feeling and hope that I can be that type of person.
January 7, 2011
Living in Reno, I picked this book up primarily because of the local connection, The author was born and partially raised in this area and I thought I'd give it a shot. The book turned out to not really be my cup of tea, though the author does a great job writing. I can't fault her writing at all.
The author---Jennifer Lauck---has a mother who is dying at the beginning of the book, a workaholic father who is often times absent, and a bit older brother who is portrayed throughout much of the book as being very obnoxious. Not just "older brother annoying", but downright obnoxious. He seems to have no redeeming qualities. This book is a memoir, so what we're getting is Jennifer Lauck's take on her childhood. And it is a very disturbing one. From the sick mother, to sexual molestation by a camp counselor, a wicked step-mother, and then losing her father to a heart attack when she was ten years old. Pretty rough going. I feel for her. But I found nothing in the book that was even the least bit uplifting. Again though, I must give the author credit for rising above those circumstances that life threw her and growing into a strong and successful woman.
The book ends when she is 12 and is sent off to live with relatives. She has written two sequels to this book, that discuss the rest of her life after "Blackbird". I won't be reading those. Just not enough in the first book to make me want to spend the time. If you like miserable life story kinds of books, this one's for you. It's just not for me.
The author---Jennifer Lauck---has a mother who is dying at the beginning of the book, a workaholic father who is often times absent, and a bit older brother who is portrayed throughout much of the book as being very obnoxious. Not just "older brother annoying", but downright obnoxious. He seems to have no redeeming qualities. This book is a memoir, so what we're getting is Jennifer Lauck's take on her childhood. And it is a very disturbing one. From the sick mother, to sexual molestation by a camp counselor, a wicked step-mother, and then losing her father to a heart attack when she was ten years old. Pretty rough going. I feel for her. But I found nothing in the book that was even the least bit uplifting. Again though, I must give the author credit for rising above those circumstances that life threw her and growing into a strong and successful woman.
The book ends when she is 12 and is sent off to live with relatives. She has written two sequels to this book, that discuss the rest of her life after "Blackbird". I won't be reading those. Just not enough in the first book to make me want to spend the time. If you like miserable life story kinds of books, this one's for you. It's just not for me.
October 25, 2009
It took me almost 5 years to get around to this book, but I "enjoyed" (not sure that's the right word, given the depressing nature of this book) it. I appreciated that Lauck wrote the book as if she were still a child, and I think that helped her tell the story. For me, however, it made this book much more depressing because she is so totally powerless. One thing which bothered me throughout was her misuse of me/I. I know she's supposed to be a child and it may have been intentionally done, but it drove me batty because I was constantly correcting her in my head.
I'm think that we've learned something by now and that in 2009 someone would call Child Protective Services when Deb abandons her to the homeless shelter at age 11 with a $10 bill.
I was interested enough in how she and Bryan survived (or in Bryan's case [that kid's a train wreck happening if ever I've seen one:] didn't), that I've ordered the sequel from the library. I'm hoping for better grammar.
I'm think that we've learned something by now and that in 2009 someone would call Child Protective Services when Deb abandons her to the homeless shelter at age 11 with a $10 bill.
I was interested enough in how she and Bryan survived (or in Bryan's case [that kid's a train wreck happening if ever I've seen one:] didn't), that I've ordered the sequel from the library. I'm hoping for better grammar.
January 27, 2024
This is the story of Jennifer Lauck as she goes from cherished daughter to throw-away child. What is particularly poignant is that Lauck is able to speak from the heart of a child, while telling a compelling story which kept me riveted, as I believe it would most adults. Losing both her parents early in life, her mother to botched cancer surgery when Lauck was six, her father a few years later to a sudden heart attack, is bad enough.
Without giving away any spoilers, although she did have family who could take her in, obstacles had to be overcome before that could happen. And even when they were, things weren't quite what she thought they would be. I am currently reading the sequel, . From the description of that book, Jennifer had more trauma to endure before finally finding some success in work and in life.
Without giving away any spoilers, although she did have family who could take her in, obstacles had to be overcome before that could happen. And even when they were, things weren't quite what she thought they would be. I am currently reading the sequel, . From the description of that book, Jennifer had more trauma to endure before finally finding some success in work and in life.
November 9, 2013
Blackbird: A Childhood Lost and Found by Jennifer Lauck is a memoir concerning dying mothers, workaholic (at best) fathers, and wicked stepmothers. I have nothing but sympathy for Ms. Lauck for what she must have suffered. Even so, I have grown weary of these sad-sack type of childhood memoirs, and as young Jennifer was somewhere between the ages of five and ten for these events, I find myself a bit skeptical of the completeness of her recollections. Perhaps I find myself once again in a book rut, as it has been a while since I've gotten really excited about what I'm reading.
I am sure that Blackbird has its fans, and if you like childhood and adversity memoirs, you may be one of them. As for me, not so much....
I am sure that Blackbird has its fans, and if you like childhood and adversity memoirs, you may be one of them. As for me, not so much....
December 15, 2008
I liked this book. I'm only going to give it a 3 though because the writing was pretty simple and it was a very easy read. (I know the story is told from the perspective of a young girl so that's why the writing is simple. The author did a good job of capturing a child's voice but it just got a little tiresome.) Usually I am skeptical of memoirs because I feel authors take a lot of liberties. However, this account was not too over-the-top (like Running with Scissors) so I did enjoy the story. This is definitely a good book for the plane or something where a lot of concentration is not required because you can get through it very fast.
March 20, 2008
SO sad, I read her trio of biographical books in anticipation of meeting the author and hearing her speak on her life's awakening. This book {Blackbird} was my first by Jennifer Lauck and left me wanting more - which was immediately sated by her next book Still Waters, a less turbulent time in her life but still marred with her deep familial scars. Her last book , Show me the Way, was an ending of sorts, but I still have many questions. Jennifer's wilingness to open her soul to us amazes me; her courage is very touching.
January 20, 2014
Éste es el libro de mi infancia. Me lo devoré a escondidas mientras mi madre no estaba en su habitación. A ella no le gustaba que lo leyera porque era un libro "muy fuerte" para una niña de mi edad.
Un dÃa reunà el valor y unos 10 años y le pedà a mi madre que me lo dejará leer "oficialmente". Por supuesto ya me lo habÃa devorado hacÃa tiempo.
Me encanta la forma en que está narrado. Hizo que a mis 10 años me sintiera completamente identificada con la voz de la niña que lo narraba. Creo que, en parte, por eso me gustaba.
Un dÃa reunà el valor y unos 10 años y le pedà a mi madre que me lo dejará leer "oficialmente". Por supuesto ya me lo habÃa devorado hacÃa tiempo.
Me encanta la forma en que está narrado. Hizo que a mis 10 años me sintiera completamente identificada con la voz de la niña que lo narraba. Creo que, en parte, por eso me gustaba.
August 25, 2008
This book was so good! Jennifer Lauck lives in Portland and that is why I chose it but once I started reading it I loved it because of her terrific writing style and fluidity. I kept having to remind myself that her story was true and that this woman would come out OK in the end. Makes you happy to have your boring, easy life!
October 23, 2008
This is the first in a trio of memoirs about this author's life. This book is a very heartbreaking story of her childhood. It is a very emotional and depressing read. Very sad to think of what she and her brother went through.
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