Thomas's Updates en-US Thu, 01 May 2025 20:16:53 -0700 60 Thomas's Updates 144 41 /images/layout/goodreads_logo_144.jpg Review7170311397 Thu, 01 May 2025 20:16:53 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Authority: Essays']]> /review/show/7170311397 Authority by Andrea Long Chu Thomas gave 3 stars to Authority: Essays (Hardcover) by Andrea Long Chu
bookshelves: nonfiction, lgbtq
3.5 stars

Some brilliant insights in this essay collection. I appreciated that Andrea Long Chu was willing to name names and offer, for the most part, substantial critiques of other writers� work. While I found myself in general political and ideological alignment with Chu, some of her takes that I most resonated with included: 1) her critique of Rodham by Curis Sittenfeld and the limitations of representation politics (e.g., just because a woman or person of color is in power doesn’t necessarily mean women or people of color tangibly benefit), 2) her analysis of Ottessa Moshfegh’s frustratingly apolitical writing and positionality, and 3) her critique of Zadie Smith, who I harbor a lot of negative feelings toward after her horrible New Yorker essay where she minimized the Zionist genocide of Palestine (for more info on Smith’s absolute mess of an essay, see by Stacy Lee Kong).

My issue with this collection was I felt that Chu would often use a ton of words to describe an argument instead of simply just saying the argument. She’s clearly intellectually rigorous, I also wished she would be more direct in her writing. To me this essay collection contained moments of important critique amidst a lot of fluffy, abstract prose.

Also, while I did appreciate Chu’s critique of Celeste Ng and Jay Caspian Kang � I agree with her take that both these writers are oddly obsessed with mixed-race, specifically Asian/white characters � I wanted more of a straightforward counterargument to Ng and Kang’s perspectives. I think Chu alludes to this, but I’ll say it outright: there are a lot of Asian Americans who don’t care about being white or looking white or dating white people, and we should focus more on those stories instead of centering narratives in which Asian Americans are perpetually in proximity to white people. Anyway, for more on this you can check out my review of Kang’s The Loneliest Americans and I’d recommend the books Yolk by Mary Choi, Sea Change by Gina Chung, and Disorientation by Elaine Hsieh Chou. ]]> Rating852582360 Tue, 29 Apr 2025 22:37:42 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas liked a review]]> /
Thomas liked Jenna's review of Tell Me How to Be:
Tell Me How to Be by Neel Patel
"4.5. This was so unexpectedly good. I picked it up random used. I had never heard anything about it but the synopsis interested me so I grabbed it. I recently took it off my shelf during a bit of a reading slump for something different.

This is a story about so much- grief, family, secrets, hidden truths, identity and so much more. We follow recent widow Renu who has spent 35 years wondering if the grass could have been greener somewhere else and Akash who’s a little lost in life and has spent his whole life trying to hide who he really is. Coming home a year after his father’s death for puja brings everything to a head. It’s a sometimes humorous but devastatingly real life look at why it’s important to be true to yourself, tell people how you feel, live in and appreciate the present and let go of the past. I highly recommend.

“For years I have been chasing the love I never had, the life I thought I wanted, when all this time it was here, in this house.�"
]]> Rating852582147 Tue, 29 Apr 2025 22:36:40 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas liked a review]]> /
Thomas liked ally's review of Post-Traumatic:
Post-Traumatic by Chantal V. Johnson
"Oh my goodness. This is one of those rare books that cuts deep in the best way. It was beautiful, heartbreaking, and almost too real to bear. As a young woman navigating the world, I saw pieces of myself, people I love, and the collective weight of trauma in Vivian’s story.

A friend recently shared this quote: “A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.� This book was that axe. Vivian’s humor, loneliness, and desperate attempts at control felt painfully raw. I rooted for her like an old friend—through her gut-wrenching PTSD, her painfully relatable dating life, and her deep but complicated love for writing. Her friendship with Jane was one of the book’s best parts, a testament to the power of sisterhood.

And one of those final moments in the coffee shop—when she let herself linger on the thought of a pastry—I hoped so desperately she would indulge, that she would find even a small moment of healing in her battle with body image. But, of course, the book delivers one final gut punch instead. Still, you can’t help but love Vivian.

This is easily one of my top reads of all time. It lingers, wounds, and wakes you up. If you’re looking for something raw, intelligent, and deeply affecting, Post-Traumatic is it.

Chantal, I NEED more from you! "
]]> Rating852581954 Tue, 29 Apr 2025 22:35:37 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas liked a review]]> /
Thomas liked Tahi's review of Sea Change:
Sea Change by Gina Chung
"this book was so beautiful I finished it in one day 🐙"
]]> Review7256656196 Mon, 28 Apr 2025 12:12:18 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Some Strange Music Draws Me In']]> /review/show/7256656196 Some Strange Music Draws Me In by Griffin Hansbury Thomas gave 4 stars to Some Strange Music Draws Me In (Hardcover) by Griffin Hansbury
bookshelves: adult-fiction, lgbtq, historical-fiction, realistic-fiction
A powerful story about growing up queer and trans, Some Strange Music Draws Me In is told in dual timelines between 1984 and 2019. I really liked the 1984 sections and how Griffin Hansbury did a wonderful job of highlighting the tumultuousness and rough-and-tumble of adolescence: when your parents are mean, when you’re not sure where you stand with your best friend, when you’re suffocated by a small town. Hansbury of course highlights how these elements are compounded for queer and trans youth; I liked the portrayals of navigating the blurry lines of friendship and romance and the search for a queer and trans mentor figure. As someone who was a high schooler between 2009 and 2013 (and ate up queer representation like Queer as Folk, which I write about in , and queer YA fiction that came out during that time too) this book was a moving reminder of just how rough it could’ve been for me if I had grown up in a different era. The casual, disturbing violence of men toward women, of cisheteros toward the lgbtq+ folks, and yet how queer and trans people found a way to survive beautifully anyway � Hansbury captures the mess well.

I agree with other reviewers that some of the 2019 sections felt a little off-kilter for me. In the first half of the book these sections sometimes felt like a way for Hansbury to insert his views on certain contemporary issues in the lgbtq+ community; it came across as a bit obvious and thus distracting from the narrative. However, I did feel like our protagonist Max grew toward the end of the 2019 section and had several heartwarming conversations with his loved ones, some of which genuinely moved me. Not the perfect novel but one that feels important, especially given the onslaught of hate against trans communities in the United States right now. ]]> Review7175578631 Sun, 27 Apr 2025 04:41:32 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Bibliophobia: A Memoir']]> /review/show/7175578631 Bibliophobia by Sarah Chihaya Thomas gave 3 stars to Bibliophobia: A Memoir (Hardcover) by Sarah Chihaya
bookshelves: biography-or-memoir, nonfiction
I appreciate Sarah Chihaya’s vulnerability about her mental health concerns, her nuanced relationship with books, and her tenure denial. That said, I was disappointed in Bibliophobia. I found that the memoir lacked the level of self-insight I’ve observed in other memoirs about mental health (see What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo) � it seemed to me that the writing about other books almost diluted space that could have been dedicated to more of Chihaya’s self-exploration. I wasn’t blown away by the prose either. An okay read but not one I’d necessarily recommend. ]]> Review7260038601 Sat, 26 Apr 2025 06:48:30 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom']]> /review/show/7260038601 The House of My Mother by Shari Franke Thomas gave 4 stars to The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom (Hardcover) by Shari Franke
bookshelves: nonfiction, biography-or-memoir
4.5 stars

Harrowing read. I finished almost all of this memoir in one setting. Really appreciate Shari Franke’s powerful writing about her experience with her abusive mother. Franke does a great job highlighting the impact of psychological and emotional abuse/manipulation, how some adults will take advantage of vulnerable youth, and the how kids and teens are affected by being forced into the online influencer role against their will. As someone who’s a survivor of childhood emotional abuse myself, I respect and admire Franke for sharing her story. A lot of people make assumptions about parents based on what they portray to the outside world, when the reality can be quite different. It’s wild to think about that fakeness and covering up of abuse being magnified by millions through online platforms like YouTube and now, Instagram and TikTok.

Overall, I found the book accessibly-written and easy to fly through. I was deeply moved by how Franke found trusting, safe adults in her life, including a therapist and non-familial caring supports who supported her in her healing. There were times where the writing was a little choppy and I do wish Franke had reflected a bit more on the role of religious extremism and influencer culture in her family’s ordeals, however, The House of My Mother is still a compelling read. ]]> Review7483616107 Thu, 24 Apr 2025 19:08:53 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America']]> /review/show/7483616107 Defectors by Paola Ramos Thomas gave 4 stars to Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America (Hardcover) by Paola Ramos
bookshelves: nonfiction
4.5 stars

Powerful and important book. Paola Ramos does a great job writing about the far-right radicalization of the Latino community. She weaves together several interviews, historical and political analysis, and a touch of her own life story. What I found most compelling about Defectors was how Ramos deftly communicated how the Latino community can internalize white supremacy and reenact the colonization inflicted upon them. As the US descends into fascism after the 2024 election, Ramos’s arguments for how many Latinos were swayed to support Trump, a rampant racist and xenophobe, are unfortunately prescient.

Overall, well-written and goes to show that you can’t assume someone’s political views or their commitment to social justice based on their phenotype or just their ethnic or racial identification. I’d recommend this one. ]]> Review7410500479 Tue, 22 Apr 2025 05:23:29 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Luminous']]> /review/show/7410500479 Luminous by Silvia Park Thomas gave 3 stars to Luminous (Hardcover) by Silvia Park
bookshelves: science-fiction, fantasy, dystopia, adult-fiction
Some interesting themes related to robots and technology and what makes us human, and I appreciated the setting in Korea. I can see the appeal of this book too in relation to its commentary on sibling relationships and how we can each react differently even when put in similar environments. But, the writing was too flat and distant for me to get invested in the story. There were some moments where the prose hit but these were too inconsistent for me to immerse myself in Luminous. ]]> Review7496387022 Sat, 19 Apr 2025 19:21:34 -0700 <![CDATA[Thomas added 'Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change']]> /review/show/7496387022 Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy by Andrew Christensen Thomas gave 5 stars to Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change (Paperback) by Andrew Christensen
bookshelves: psychology, own-physical, nonfiction, five-stars
Okay so I *loved* this book, my first five-star read in a long time and one of the most helpful therapy textbooks/guides I've encountered. It's about couple therapy though I think the content would be helpful to therapists who solely practice individual therapy too. There's so much brilliant insight in this book though for the sake of concision I'll just share one of the core ideas which is the DEEP conceptualization. This stands for how Differences between partners, Emotional sensitivities that each partner has, External stressors that affect their relationship, and Patterns of communication that are dysfunctional can negatively impact their relationship. Even just this framework covers so much ground and captures a lot of - if not all of - the conflict I've observed in relationship issues my individual clients over the years have shared.

Beyond DEEP, this book offers so much. There's more theoretical content, though the tangible and practical, applied content is incredible. There are example therapy couple sessions that are annotated and intelligently analyzed, as well as specific wording suggestions and specific interpersonal strategies therapists can use in-session. Loved the skills unified detachment and empathic joining among others. Also appreciated how the authors spent a little time at least discussing cultural dynamics and sensitive topics like intimate partner violence and infidelity.

It's a little monogamy/amatonormative-focused though I believe a lot of the concepts can be applied and tailored to poly relationships and friendships. So excited to have this knowledge under my belt and looking forward to referencing this book as I continue my work. Also, there's a version of this book for non-therapists called Reconcilable Differences - while I haven't read it, just based on how stellar this book was I'd suspect that that book contains some solid information related to relationships for laypeople. ]]>