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“Hail, Columbia! Home of the six inch cockroach and the stadium-sized lecture hall. A reservation for rich white people guarded by poor brown people in a sea of urban decay. Where nobody on the faculty has ever spent ten minutes in the freshman dorm, but everybody talks about humanism and compassion. They teach you that military people are scum, trash, the lowest of the low -- and then they assign Homer's ILIAD just to develop your sense of irony. Where else can you see three suicides a month dismissed as "slightly above average, but better than Smith or Brown?”
― Ted Rall, The Year of Loving Dangerously

“I suppose I could have been nicer when I was at Columbia. I could have been polite, respectful, turned in my papers on time. Funny thing is, I knew a guy like that. English major. Loved to read. Never got in any trouble, just hung out in Butler Library reading poetry and English history. Ran into him the other day. Guy has three master's degrees, taught high school, even did a few years in the Marines. Know what he does today?

He makes $9.75 an hour as a librarian.

I was a jerk when I went to Columbia. But I was never a sucker.”
― Ted Rall, The Year of Loving Dangerously

“What you read at Columbia is Plato's Republic and Homer's Iliad. What you learn at Columbia is that reading isn't education. Education is figuring out the hard way that at a school like Columbia, what you read isn't nearly as important as what you wear, how you look, and how much you know about sucking up to professors who really couldn't give a shit about whether some nameless, faceless kid in the 23rd row will work or starve after graduation.”
― Ted Rall, The Year of Loving Dangerously

“كانت اجتماعات ترامب مسلية إلى حد كبير، وكانت مرعبة أيضًا، فتصريحات المرشح (دونالد ترامب) غير المحددة والغامضة ونبرته العنيفة، تعيد إلى الذاكرة اجتماعات هتلر في نيورمبرج، باستثناء الحركات الرائعة التي يقوم بها ترامب، كما كانت هناك اعتداءات على المعارضين والصحفيين.”
― Ted Rall, Trump: A Graphic Biography

“هذا الكتاب يتناول موضوعات أكثر أهمية مما إذا كان دونالد ترامب عنصريًا، أو إذا كانت هيلاري كلينتون فعلاً منافقة.
هذا الكتاب عن فشل نظام الحزبين، الذي تم وصفه من قديم الأزل على أنه أفضل نظام سياسي أنتجته البشرية على الإطلاق، ليخاطب أكثر احتياجات المواطن الأساسية.”
― Ted Rall, Trump: A Graphic Biography

“نحن الأمريكيين متفائلون رغم حالة التدهور التي نعاني منها منذ أربعين عامًا؛ لهذا ظللنا نهادن الأوضاع ونصارع حتى نتعايش بأقل الخسائر، وانتظرنا أن تتبدل الأحوال ولكن دون جدوى. إذ أُغلقت المصانع بجميع أرجاء البلاد، ونُقلت الوظائف خارجها، تم إخلاء المدن، واتجه اليائسون والمشردون وكثير من الناس إلى تعاطي المخدرات.”
― Ted Rall, Trump: A Graphic Biography

“We need rules that limit our leaders' powers more than we need rules that limit our rights.”
― Ted Rall, Snowden

“Is the threat of a right-wing takeover real? I think so. I think it has been real for decades; racist and nativist extremism is closely interwoven in our national fabric. But of course it's impossible to know whether the far right can seize power.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“Once created, a power vacuum will be filled, whether by you or some asshole.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“Theoretically, people might form intentional communities (the current term for communes) and/or polyamorous clans of one hundred to one hundred fifty in Ecotopia (the term for a theoretical independent Pacific Northwest), living off the land, all local and sustainable-like. But these utopian societies won't be able to count on being left alone to live peacefully. The millions of partisans who follow Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and right-wing televangelists happen to be the best-armed people around, and they despise just about everyone who doesn't think and pray like them. They will see collapse as affirmation of their beliefs that secular liberalism is destructive. They will also see it as an opportunity to create a new, ordered world atop the ashes. They will act to stop teenage sluts from getting abortions, teach niggers a lesson, and slaughter those spics, dots, and everyone else who doesn't fit into their vision of what and who is right. ¶ Anarchist may opt out of revolution, but counterrevolution will come to them.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“We are so lucky! We finally have a rare, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pursue happiness. Thanks to that most precious of revolutionary resources—populist anger—we can throw out all the rules and start from scratch. Sure, it will be hard and bloody and terrifying. But consider the possibilities: a world, to choose an example at random, without the stupid goddamn fucking insurance companies we have now and where everyone gets medical care! A world without the moronic institution of marriage, an institution nearly everyone hates and almost never really works. A world full of public parks where private golf courses and tennis clubs used to be.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“As Jean-Paul Sartre said, we are the sum total of our actions. What is in our hearts does not matter.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“The purpose of revolution is to abolish unnecessary suffering.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“If the U.S. government is going to collapse anyway, it behooves us to first replace it with something that can stand in its place. Unless we act, we'll have to deal with a post-collapse scenario, in which we'll have to fend off roving criminal gangs, hoodlums, predatory corporations, oppressive residual government entities, and an emboldened political right.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“We can wait for the system to collapse of its own accord, for the rage of the downtrodden and dispossessed to build, for chaos of some sort to expose and destroy it. But implosion might take a long time. And when it happens, we may find ourselves even more powerless than we are now. They—the hardcore, racist, undereducated, fundamentalist Christian, anit-civil liberties Right—are preparing to step into the breach, to seize power. They can't wait to unleash their venomous hatred on the city-dwelling commie hipster fags they despise. They are armed. They recognize that the system is doomed. They've seen this coming. They're organized and willing to merge their disparate brands of conservatism under a common leadership. Most importantly, they get it. They don't need to be convinced that everything is in play. They're putting it in play.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto

“Even now, years later, it's hard to tell why the government stood by and let the city of New Orleans be destroyed, dispatching troops rather than help.”
― Ted Rall, The Anti-American Manifesto