Zzenn Loren's Blog, page 2
April 16, 2025
Thomas Ligotti’s Conspiracy: Why Consciousness is a Horror
“So let this be the lesson of Ligotti’s philosophy: it is not death that we fear, but life, and not because it ends, but because it happens.�
Thomas Ligotti didn’t write The Conspiracy Against the Human Race to entertain. He wrote it to detonate the lies we tell ourselves about existence, hope, and the so-called “gift� of life. This book is not a philosophy text. It’s not horror fiction. It’s a surgical blade—one sharp enough to carve through the thick flesh of delusion and expose the ugly truth pulsing underneath: we are conscious, and that is the curse.
The Catastrophe of ConsciousnessLigotti’s central thesis is simple: Consciousness was a mistake. A fluke of evolution that gave us self-awareness without the tools to cope with it. Unlike animals who suffer but don’t know they suffer, we’re aware of our own doom. We anticipate pain. We dread the end. We rot while watching ourselves rot.
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We didn’t ask for this. Nobody asked to be born. But here we are—thrown into this cosmic joke, and then told to smile and pretend it’s beautiful. Ligotti’s horror isn’t about monsters or shadows—it’s about waking up and realizing you are the monster, and the shadow is cast by your own mind.
The Human Conspiracy: Lying to Ourselves to Keep GoingLigotti, channeling the Norwegian philosopher Peter Wessel Zapffe, outlines four ways we cope with our condition—our raw, unbearable condition of being:
Isolation � We shove disturbing truths into the closet and pretend they’re not real.
Anchoring � We tie ourselves to religions, roles, nations, family—anything that makes us feel like life has a purpose.
Distraction � We drown in media, tasks, entertainment—anything to not sit in the stillness and feel the void creep in.
Sublimation � A rare few, like Ligotti, turn that void into art, literature, or black-blooded philosophy.
But even sublimation is a performance. A coping mechanism dressed in intellect. The pain’s still there—it just speaks with better vocabulary.
Anti-Natalism: Don’t Just End the Cycle—Refuse to Feed ItThere’s no salvation in these pages. Just clarity. Harsh, brutal, merciless clarity. And if that sounds bleak, good. That means you’re listening.
Ligotti doesn't scream “kill yourself.� That’s not what this is about. It’s not about dramatic exits—it’s about not opening the door in the first place.
He aligns with anti-natalist philosophy: the idea that to bring a conscious being into existence is to inflict harm. You didn’t ask to be born, but you’ll still suffer, age, break, grieve, and die. For what? So your parents could feel fulfilled? So a church or a nation could grow its numbers?
David Benatar’s argument seals it: not being born spares you suffering and doesn’t deprive you of pleasure. Because there’s no one there to miss it. Ligotti takes that and carves it into your soul: maybe the most merciful act is to let the lights go out.
Horror Is the Only Genre That Tells the TruthLigotti is a horror writer, and he doesn’t hide that. But unlike most writers who use horror as a thrill ride, Ligotti uses it like a scalpel. Horror, he says, is the only genre honest enough to show us what we really are: fragile meat puppets stumbling through a universe that couldn’t care less.
While religions preach salvation and self-help gurus sell dopamine lies, horror stories whisper the truth: there is no plan, no grand meaning, no mercy. Just systems grinding on, indifferent and blind. Horror doesn’t scare you. It reveals you.
And Ligotti’s own fiction? It doesn’t comfort. It reminds you that the skin can split at any moment—and behind the skin, there’s no soul. Just mechanism.
The Cult of Optimism Is the Most Addictive DrugLet’s not pretend this world isn’t sick. Everything from childhood cartoons to social institutions is built to keep you chasing the carrot. “Stay positive!� “Everything happens for a reason!� “You’ll find your purpose!�
Bullshit.
Optimism is a coping drug—one we inject to avoid the crash. Ligotti calls it what it is: a lie. One so deeply woven into culture that even questioning it makes you sound insane. But what’s really insane is pretending this world is good when it’s built on exploitation, decay, and a biological imperative to suffer and reproduce.
Free Will Is a Joke—and You’re the PunchlineLigotti doesn’t believe in free will—and deep down, you don’t either. Every choice you’ve made was shaped by DNA, trauma, programming, and culture. You react, you obey impulses, and then you wrap it in a narrative and call it “you.�
You think you're the one pulling the strings, but you're not. You're just the puppet whose strings learned to lie to themselves.
That’s the horror. Not death. Not monsters. But the quiet, inescapable realization that you are not who you think you are. And you never were.
Waking Up in the NightmareLigotti doesn’t offer redemption. He’s not trying to give you a better story. He’s ripping the mask off. He’s telling you what you already know but don’t want to face: the horror isn’t out there—it’s the fact that you exist at all.
BOnce you truly see the conspiracy—the one where humanity lies to itself just to keep breathing—you either go mad� or you wake up.
And when you wake up, the puppet doesn’t dance anymore. It watches. Quiet. Still. Aware.
Further Reading & ResourcesPeter Wessel Zapffe � The Last Messiah
David Benatar � Better Never to Have Been
Eugene Thacker � In the Dust of This Planet
Arthur Schopenhauer � On the Suffering of the World
Emil Cioran � The Trouble with Being Born
April 15, 2025
Emil Cioran's Philosophy of Despair: The Temptation of Meaning
Ěý“We are born to exist, not to know; to be, not to assert ourselves.â€� â€� Emil Cioran At the Center: Lucid Pessimism
Cioran’s thought begins not in celebration of life, but in suspicion of it. Like Schopenhauer before him, Cioran approaches existence with profound distrust. But unlike Schopenhauer, who constructed metaphysical systems of will and representation, Cioran writes from a place beyond metaphysics—a space where belief itself has been hollowed out. He does not prove that life is suffering. He feels it.
His core premise: existence is an accident—a cosmic error. Not a tragic one, necessarily, but a surreal one. To exist is to be thrust into a condition without our consent, into a world we didn’t choose, for purposes that remain obscure or entirely absent.
“It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.�
� The Trouble with Being Born
This isn’t mere theatrical despair. It is ontological disappointment. The dissonance between the human desire for transcendence and the sheer fact of being biological, decaying, mortal. The root of suffering is not just in life’s pain—it’s in the awareness of that pain. Consciousness, for Cioran, is not a gift, but a curse.
Check out the article:
Consciousness as CatastropheTo be human is to be self-aware—and this, for Cioran, is a spiritual catastrophe. Consciousness isolates us. It exiles us from instinct and embeds us in doubt.
Most animals suffer, but they do not question suffering. Humans suffer and ask why. They seek meaning in agony, design in chaos. That search itself is the wound.
“Only one thing matters: learning to be the loser.�
� The Temptation to Exist
Cioran draws a radical conclusion: the very thing that makes us “higherâ€� than other species—reflection, memory, anticipation—is the very thing that alienates us from peace. Our mind invents gods, utopias, ideologies—a±ô±ô in an effort to justify the unjustifiable. He sees these constructs as noble lies, metaphysical consolations.
History as DiseaseCioran has a particularly scathing view of history. Where others see progress, he sees pathology. In The History of Decay, he presents history as a chronicle of delusion and bloodshed. Far from being the arena of human greatness, it is a theater of repetition, self-deception, and failure.
“Utopia is the grotesque enunciation of the impossible.�
� History and Utopia
For Cioran, the modern world’s faith in history—its belief in evolution, progress, better tomorrows—is a secularized religious impulse. It replaces God with Man, paradise with utopia. But the underlying dynamic remains the same: a refusal to face the absurdity of existence as it is.
There is no redemption in time.
No golden future. No arc of progress. Just cycles of illusion, masked by slogans.
Cioran’s radical move is not merely to critique history or metaphysics—it is to critique being itself.
He questions the very legitimacy of existence. “Was creation a good idea?� he asks—not rhetorically, but ontologically. In De l’inconvénient d’être né (The Trouble with Being Born), he explores the sheer burden of having been born. Not dying. Not suffering. Being.
This is a post-theistic take on Gnostic despair. The world is not evil because it is corrupted. It is evil because it exists at all. In this sense, Cioran is a metaphysical pessimist who sees even the most sublime efforts—art, religion, philosophy—as symptoms of our inability to bear the absurd.
Aphorism as Rebellion
“We define only out of despair. We must have a formula� to give a facade to the void.�
� The Temptation to Exist
Cioran’s style mirrors his thought. He abandons system-building. He refuses to argue or conclude. Instead, he whispers, jabs, sings. His medium is the aphorism—sharp, elliptical, self-contained.
Why? Because philosophical systems imply belief. They suggest structure, order, coherence. Cioran finds that dishonest. The aphorism, by contrast, reflects the fragmentary nature of consciousness. It honors doubt. It permits contradiction.
In this way, his philosophy is also a philosophy against philosophy. Against fixity. Against resolution. His irony protects him from dogma. He is serious, but never solemn. Often, he lets despair flirt with comedy:
The Mystic Without Faith
“By all evidence we are in the world to do nothing.�
� Drawn and Quartered
At the heart of Cioran’s philosophy is a mystical impulse stripped of faith. He has the longing of a saint but the doubt of a skeptic. In his moments of greatest intensity, he touches something beyond thought—call it silence, the void, God—but he refuses to name it.
“I do not write to communicate. I write to seduce myself.�
� The Fall into Time
He admires the saints and anchorites, not for their beliefs, but for their intensity—for their refusal of the world. Like the mystics, Cioran seeks detachment. But for him, there is no Absolute waiting at the end of the road—only the pure clarity of nothingness.
Thus, he comes close to a kind of negative mysticism—an intimate knowledge of the divine absence.
The Grace of DefeatDespite all this, there is something liberating in Cioran. His despair is not brutal or cynical—it is graceful, often strangely serene. He accepts the absurd. He finds nobility in withdrawal, dignity in not participating, and even joy in the momentary beauty of decay.
Cioran’s final, paradoxical lesson may be this: when nothing matters, everything is luminous. When we abandon the pressure to mean, to justify, to prove—we may discover something like peace.
A Philosophy for the End of PhilosophyEmil Cioran did not leave behind a system. He left a series of ruptures—delicate, destructive insights that leave the reader suspended between silence and speech.
His philosophy is not for the ambitious, the devout, or the dogmatic. It is for the lucid, the wounded, the inwardly exiled. It is for those who feel too much and cannot pretend otherwise.
And yet, for all his darkness, Cioran grants us a kind of light—not the artificial glow of answers, but the austere clarity that comes when we stand naked before the void and smile.
“Chaos is rejecting all you have learned. Chaos is being yourself.�
April 14, 2025
The Philosophy of Horror: Lovecraft and the Old Ones
“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.�—H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
There are few figures in literature who have shaped the terrain of horror as profoundly as H.P. Lovecraft. His mythos—teeming with ancient, alien deities known as the Old Ones—has seeped into the marrow of modern horror, reappearing in films, games, art, and literature alike. But to reduce Lovecraft’s creations to tentacles and madness is to miss the point.
At the core of his universe lies a far more unsettling proposition: the cosmos is not malevolent, nor is it benign—it is utterly indifferent. There is no plan, no salvation, no special role for humanity. And when we stare into the depths of this uncaring universe, it doesn’t blink.
This is not horror for thrills or entertainment. It is horror as ontology, epistemology, and existential rupture. It is the unmaking of human significance. No one has delved deeper into this philosophical horror than Eugene Thacker, author of the Horror of Philosophy trilogy. For Thacker, the true terror is not found in the grotesque, but in the effort to think about a world that simply doesn’t think about us.
The Old Ones: Silent Monarchs of the UnknowableLovecraft’s Old Ones are vast, ancient beings that predate time and defy comprehension. They are not gods in any personal or moral sense—they are alien intelligences, unbound by human logic or biology, whose motives and forms drive mortals to madness.
Cthulhu, perhaps the most iconic, slumbers beneath the ocean in the sunken city of R’lyeh, “dead but dreaming,� waiting for the stars to align.
Nyarlathotep, the “Crawling Chaos,� walks among humans, wearing masks and playing roles, sowing madness with a smile.
Azathoth, a blind idiot god, roils at the center of the universe, surrounded by the shrill piping of demonic flutes—creation without consciousness, godhood without meaning.
And Yog-Sothoth, “All-in-One and One-in-All,� exists outside of space and time. It is the gate, the key, the guardian, and the unutterable knowledge itself.
What makes these beings terrifying is not their power—but their indifference. They do not hate us. They simply do not notice us. And in Lovecraft’s cosmology, that is the greatest horror of all. Humanity is not special. The universe was never ours.
Beyond Good and Evil: The Birth of Cosmic HorrorTraditional horror, rooted in folklore and religion, relies on morality. Ghosts haunt the guilty. Demons punish the wicked. Justice, even if delayed, is ultimately served. But Lovecraft’s horror breaks this mold. His stories unfold in a universe where moral structure is absent and knowledge itself becomes the enemy.
“Horror is not simply about fear,� writes Eugene Thacker in In the Dust of This Planet, “but about the unraveling of the human world.�
Lovecraft’s horrors are not punishments—they are revelations. And these revelations do not confirm belief; they destroy it. His monsters don’t teach. They don’t care. They exist. That’s enough.
This is the essence of cosmic horror: not fear of death, but fear that even death is meaningless. It is the moment when we realize that all our stories, symbols, and systems are shadows dancing on the wall of a void that will never speak back.
Eugene Thacker and the World-Without-UsEugene Thacker offers a philosophical map of this abyss. Across his Horror of Philosophy trilogy, he outlines three levels of the world:
The World-For-Us: the familiar world of meaning, tools, and language—human-centric and filtered through perception.
The World-In-Itself: the philosophical world—real, yet unknowable in totality, glimpsed only through theory.
And the World-Without-Us: the truly alien world—a world that exists regardless of our presence, indifferent to us, and inaccessible to our minds.
Lovecraft’s Old Ones erupt from this World-Without-Us. Their terror is not that they will destroy us—but that they are real, and we are irrelevant.
For Thacker, this is horror as negative revelation. A mode of thought where the very act of thinking becomes a confrontation with its own limits. He calls it “thinking the unthinkable.� Not just the unknown—but the unknowable. Not a question unanswered—but a question that cannot be asked.
Madness and the Price of RevelationIn Lovecraft's tales, madness is not a mental illness—it is the only sane response to the truth. When human beings stumble upon knowledge meant for beings beyond them, the psyche collapses. Not because they are weak, but because they are human.
In The Call of Cthulhu, a professor pieces together fragments of myth, cult reports, and ship logs, only to realize a being beyond time is about to awaken.
In The Shadow Out of Time, a scholar’s consciousness is displaced by a prehistoric alien race, leaving behind memories of lives, worlds, and histories he cannot reconcile with his own identity.
In At the Mountains of Madness, explorers find the ruins of an ancient alien civilization buried in Antarctica and uncover the truth: that humans are an afterthought in a story that was never theirs to begin with.
Thacker, echoing this descent, calls horror “a non-philosophy.� It does not offer arguments or proofs—it reveals. And what it reveals is the futility of our frameworks. The abyss doesn’t care if you understand it.
Mysticism Without Mystics: Theology in the VoidLovecraft’s mythos strangely mirrors mystical traditions. In apophatic theology, God is described by what He is not—beyond being, beyond form, beyond comprehension. Lovecraft applies the same structure—but removes God entirely.
The Old Ones are not divine—they are null deities. They inspire awe, fear, reverence—but offer no salvation. They shatter, rather than affirm. Thacker refers to this as “mysticism without mystics,� where the sacred becomes horrifying precisely because it transcends understanding without providing meaning.
In this space, religion and science alike fail. The former cannot domesticate the alien. The latter cannot explain the eternal. The Old Ones stand as monuments to the failure of both systems—beings that exist outside the very questions we know how to ask.
Why the Old Ones Still Haunt UsIn our modern age, with the tools of science and the confidence of rationality, why does this cosmic horror still resonate?
Because despite our progress, the ultimate questions remain unanswered:
What is consciousness?
Why does the universe exist?
What happens after death?
Our equations cannot touch the edges of these voids. Our prayers return unanswered. And in that silence, the Old Ones stir.
Cthulhu slumbers beneath the unconscious mind.
Yog-Sothoth pulses at the fringes of quantum theory.
Azathoth gibbers in the corners of nihilistic dread.
We do not fear the Old Ones because they will destroy us. We fear them because they reflect the possibility that nothing will notice us at all.
Thacker writes, in Tentacles Longer Than Night:
Horror as Sacred Negation“The horror of philosophy is the horror of thinking about a world that resists thought.�
Lovecraft’s Old Ones do not merely inhabit his stories—they infiltrate thought itself. They are not monsters. They are metaphors of metaphysical despair. Their tentacles reach not just into our nightmares, but into the very scaffolding of meaning.
In Thacker’s hands, this horror becomes more than genre—it becomes lens. A way to confront not death, but irrelevance. Not the end of the world, but the realization that the world never began with us.
And perhaps that is the final horror.
They are not coming.
They have always been here.
We simply refused to see.
References:
H.P. Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories
Eugene Thacker, In the Dust of This Planet: Horror of Philosophy Vol. 1
Eugene Thacker, Starry Speculative Corpse: Horror of Philosophy Vol. 2
Eugene Thacker, Tentacles Longer Than Night: Horror of Philosophy Vol. 3
April 13, 2025
Why Being Wrong Feels Like a Threat | The Psychology of Certainty
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“Feeling right is not a deliberate conclusion—it’s a sensation.�
� Robert Burton, On Being Certain
There is a moment—quiet, almost imperceptible—when the brain makes a subtle pivot. You're in conversation, disagreement begins to rise, and you feel it. The heat in the chest. The tightening in the gut. The invisible alarm bells that whisper, I’m right. They’re wrong. Logic hasn't stepped in yet, and no evidence has been reviewed. It’s just a feeling—a gut-level conviction—and it is astonishingly powerful.
But what if that very sensation�the feeling of being right—is the trap?
This article dives deep into why human beings are so allergic to being wrong. We’ll explore the evolutionary roots of our need for certainty, how confirmation bias becomes a safety blanket, and why the feeling of being right is often a neurological illusion. It’s a story of survival, identity, and the mind’s desperate hunger for safety.
The Primordial Terror of Being WrongTo understand our aversion to being wrong, we have to start where all human fears begin: the wild.
For early humans, being wrong could mean death. Mistaking a predator’s rustle for the wind, trusting the wrong individual in a social alliance, eating the wrong plant—a±ô±ô had potentially fatal consequences. Our ancestors didn’t survive because they paused to weigh each possibility like a philosopher. They survived because their brains evolved to reward rapid, confidence-fueled decisions that felt right.
In evolutionary terms, certainty equals safety. Doubt could be dangerous.
This ancient wiring hasn't left us. Today, mistaking one fact for another doesn’t usually cost us our lives. But our nervous systems don’t know the difference. The body still treats error like threat. To admit, I was wrong, is to simulate a miniature death of the self—a disruption in the internal coherence that evolution has taught us to prize.
This is why the experience of being wrong feels so unpleasant—not just intellectually, but physically. Our bodies react with stress hormones, our stomachs twist, and our muscles tense. Being wrong isn’t just uncomfortable. It’s unsafe.
Certainty as a Sensation, Not a ConclusionIn On Being Certain, neurologist Robert Burton makes a revolutionary claim: the sense of certainty is not a product of rational thought, but a feeling, akin to hunger or fatigue. We don’t arrive at certainty through reason—we feel it, often before reason even enters the equation.
This means that by the time we’re reviewing “facts,� we’ve already emotionally committed. The mental courtroom has already rendered its verdict, and evidence is summoned not to explore, but to defend.
This helps explain why it’s so hard to convince someone they’re wrong, even with solid evidence. You're not just challenging their ideas—you’re threatening their sense of reality. And the more emotionally charged the topic (religion, politics, identity), the more that feeling of certainty becomes fused with who they are.
The Hidden Safety in Confirmation BiasOnce we’ve developed a belief—especially one that gives us identity, purpose, or coherence—we enter into a psychological feedback loop known as confirmation bias. We selectively gather, interpret, and remember information that supports what we already believe, while ignoring or discrediting anything that threatens it.
Why do we do this?
Because it makes us feel safe.
In the tribal world of our ancestors, having a cohesive worldview was necessary to coordinate action, survive social dynamics, and maintain internal peace. A confused or uncertain member of the tribe would have been less reliable. Over time, our brains developed reward mechanisms for consistency. We get a dopamine hit when we hear something that confirms our beliefs. In contrast, dissonance—holding two contradictory ideas—creates discomfort and stress.
In other words, confirmation bias isn’t a flaw. It’s a feature—designed to protect our internal sense of safety.
Being Wrong as Ego-DeathThere is a deep emotional vulnerability that comes with being wrong. To acknowledge it is to admit: I was not in control. My reality was flawed. My sense of self was inaccurate. It is a form of ego death, a shattering of the stable identity we spend our lives constructing.
That’s why many people don’t just resist being wrong—they will fight to preserve the illusion of being right. We see this every day in political debates, religious dogma, and social media arguments where the goal is not understanding but domination.
Even in our private lives, being wrong can feel like shame. Think of the last time you said something you later regretted. Or made a major decision you had to reverse. That sinking feeling isn’t just about the mistake—it’s about the identity blow that comes with it.
To say “I was wrong� is to momentarily suspend the scaffolding of our internal world. That takes immense courage.
The Cult of Certainty and Modern LifeModern culture worships certainty. Politicians are expected to have immediate, unwavering answers. News outlets cater to echo chambers. Even in academia, doubt is often seen as weakness rather than inquiry.
We rarely hear public figures say, “I don’t know,� or “I changed my mind,� even though these are the healthiest things a human can say. This cultural climate reinforces the illusion that certainty is strength, and doubt is fragility.
But the reverse is true.
Uncertainty is where real learning begins. It's the doorway to transformation, creativity, and true wisdom. Certainty is static. Doubt is dynamic.
When we resist being wrong, we close the gates of growth.
The Courage to Be WrongIf the feeling of being right is an illusion, and the fear of being wrong is evolutionary, then how do we transcend this hardwired pattern?
Recognize Certainty as a Feeling, Not a Fact
When you feel certain, pause. Ask yourself: is this a conclusion I arrived at through open inquiry, or a sensation I’m mistaking for truth?
Practice Intellectual Humility
Accepting that you can be wrong doesn’t make you weak—it makes you trustworthy. People are more likely to engage with those who can admit error than those who double down on illusion.
Rewire the Association
Instead of linking being wrong with shame, begin to link it with evolution. Every time you say “I was wrong,� you expand. You shed an old skin.
Build Inner Safety
Most resistance to being wrong comes from fear—of rejection, shame, or destabilization. Cultivate practices that help you feel safe within yourself: mindfulness, body-based grounding, journaling. When your sense of safety no longer hinges on being right, you can be wrong without collapse.
Human beings are on the cusp of a new kind of evolution—not one of physical survival, but of mental flexibility. The future belongs not to those who are always right, but to those who can adapt, change, and revise their maps of reality.
To be wrong is not to fail—it is to become.
Let us begin to honor the humility that lives in doubt. Let us build a culture where being wrong is not shameful, but sacred. And let us remember that the feeling of certainty, though seductive, is not a guarantee of truth.
It is merely a sensation—a flicker in the nervous system.
And we are not slaves to it.
We can be more.
April 11, 2025
Christian Apologetics Exposed: How Religious Rhetoric Replaces Reason
Christian apologetics presents itself as a rational defense of faith, a noble endeavor aimed at clarifying truth. In reality, it functions more like a courtroom drama written in advance, where the verdict is predetermined and the opposition is only allowed to speak so they can be silenced. This is not spiritual inquiry—it is rhetorical warfare. Apologists enter debates not to listen or evolve, but to dominate, persuade, and reinforce the theological walls that keep faith unquestioned.
It is performance, not philosophy. Doctrine, not dialogue. Behind its appeals to reason lies a deep-seated fear of uncertainty—and a desperate need to assert control over the mystery of existence.
Language as Theological WeaponryShocking Truth: If your faith requires constant defense through rehearsed debate strategies, is it really faith—or is it fear in disguise?
Apologists don't just use language—they weaponize it. They speak in riddles designed to sound like logic, but in reality, they are traps disguised as truth. Terms like "objective morality," "sin nature," "worldview," and "presuppositionalism" are not neutral. They are theological grenades, thrown into the conversation to derail, disarm, and dominate.
Sidebar: Key Terms DemystifiedObjective Morality: The belief that without a deity, there can be no real right or wrong. But this is not a universal truth—it’s a theological presumption.ĚýSin Nature: The idea that humans are inherently corrupt and in need of divine redemption. A guilt-inducing framework designed to disempower.ĚýPresuppositionalism: The circular claim that God must be assumed for reason and logic to even function. A philosophical ouroboros that eats its own tail.ĚýWorldview: Used to frame all non-Christian perspectives as flawed or incomplete, while the Christian one is presented as the default lens of reality.
Fear, Guilt, and the Craving for CertaintyHard-Hitting Question: Why is it that Christianity demands you accept its definitions before you can even enter the conversation?
Apologetics pretends to be about truth. But beneath the surface, it’s powered by emotion—specifically, fear. Fear of hell. Fear of death. Fear of meaninglessness. The apologist may dress up the argument with syllogisms and quotations, but at its core, the appeal is primal: submit or suffer.
The formula is ancient and well-rehearsed:
Convince the audience they are fundamentally broken (sin).Offer a singular solution (Jesus).Declare all alternatives insufficient.This isn't logic. It’s psychological blackmail. Guilt is engineered, shame is exalted, and authority is worshiped as truth. The individual is made to feel helpless—then offered salvation as a lifeline. But the rope only leads deeper into obedience.
Historical Echo: The Church has long utilized this emotional architecture—original sin, eternal punishment, unworthiness—because it creates dependency. Apologetics is merely the intellectualized version of the same control system.
How the Debate is RiggedPsychological Insight: When someone convinces you that you’re broken just so they can offer the fix, that’s called manipulation. In religion, it’s called doctrine.
Apologists are trained in the art of verbal misdirection. They use debate not as a way to engage ideas, but to dominate their opponents and reinforce belief systems.
Here are some of their favorite tricks:
Strawman Arguments: Misrepresent the opposing view to knock it down. E.g., “Atheists think life is meaningless.�Rapid-Fire Claims: Overwhelm the listener with a barrage of mini-arguments that can’t all be refuted in time.Loaded Questions: “If there’s no God, why is murder wrong?”—which smuggles in the assumption that morality must be divine.False Dichotomies: “Jesus is either Lord, a liar, or a lunatic.� This omits many other possibilities.Quote Breakdown: William Lane Craig“If God does not exist, objective moral values do not exist.�This sounds powerful—but it’s a framing device, not evidence. The premise assumes the conclusion.
The Myth of Absolute TruthReality Check: If your argument only works by distorting the other person’s view, it’s not a defense of truth—it’s a theater of control.
Apologetics rests on a myth: that absolute, unchanging truth exists—and that Christianity has sole ownership of it. This creates a closed system of belief where doubt is seen as weakness, questions are treated as threats, and complexity is feared.
But reality is complex. Life is mysterious. The human psyche is vast and layered. The apologist cannot handle that truth—so they flatten it, reduce it, simplify it into dogma.
Sidebar: Shut-Down Phrases of Certainty“The Bible is clear.�“Jesus is the only way.�
“God’s Word is final.�
ĚýThese phrases are not conclusions. They are conversation killers.
The Historical Roots of ApologeticsProvocative Reflection: If your version of truth can’t handle doubt, questions, or nuance—how true is it, really?
Modern apologetics has ancient roots in religious authoritarianism. It is the intellectual descendant of heresy trials, witch hunts, and theological censorship. The early church didn't engage alternative viewpoints—they anathematized them.
Tertullian declared, “I believe because it is absurd.� His faith was rooted in defiance of reason.Martin Luther called reason “the devil’s greatest whore.� His project was obedience, not inquiry.
The history of Christian apologetics is not a history of freedom—it is a history of control. Of silencing mystics, burning heretics, and turning curiosity into sin.
The Path Beyond DebateHistorical Parallel: The same structure that now debates atheists in public forums once wielded fire and sword against anyone who dared think differently.
What lies beyond apologetics? A different way of knowing. One rooted in experience, vulnerability, and the courage to not know.
This is the path of the mystic, the philosopher, the artist. It is a path that values ambiguity. That finds holiness in the unknown. That seeks not to convert but to connect.
True spiritual maturity is not certainty—it is presence.
It does not say “I have the answer.� It asks, “What is unfolding in me now?�
“Doubt is not the opposite of faith. It is an element of faith.� —Paul Tillich
Burn the Idol, Begin the JourneyLiberating Truth: The deepest wisdom often lives in the questions apologetics fears the most.
Apologetics is the defense of a fortress. But what if the fortress is the problem? What if truth doesn’t live in strongholds but in wild forests? What if the deepest wisdom isn’t something you win in a debate—but something you surrender to?
To dismantle apologetics is not to abandon truth. It is to make room for a more honest truth. A living, breathing truth. One that doesn't come from someone else's book or someone else’s voice—but from your own soul.
So let the apologists keep their platforms.Let them preach to their echo chambers.
You have something better:
A mind that questions.A heart that feels.A spirit that seeks.
Let the apologist debate.Let the seeker walk on.
Final Question for the Reader: If everything you believe had been told to you by someone else, do you truly believe it—or have you simply inherited obedience?
Are You an Apex Predator? Violent Thoughts and Human Madness
In the brutal pageant of life on Earth, the term apex predator carries a kind of mythic resonance. It conjures images of lions stalking savannahs, orcas corralling schools of fish, and hawks slicing through sky in pursuit of prey. These are creatures that sit at the summit of their food chains—unhunted, dominant, refined by eons of evolutionary trial into lethal masterpieces of ecological balance.
But what about us?
Humans, Homo sapiens sapiens, are often declared the ultimate apex predator. With our tools, cities, satellites, and nukes, we’ve subdued landscapes, reshaped climates, driven species to extinction, and split the atom. No lion, shark, or eagle commands the globe like we do. Yet there’s a growing sense—haunting, dissonant—that something is off with this narrative.
Gerald B. Lorentz, in his grimly satirical work HOMO, 99 and 44/100% NONSAPIENS, casts an unflinching gaze at the human species not as civilized rationalists, but as apex predators in deep psychological denial. He invites us to question not whether we’re on top of the food chain, but whether we deserve to be there.
Are we truly apex predators? Or are we something worse—an evolutionary fluke with predatory power unmatched by self-awareness?
Apex Defined: Predator and ParadoxTo be an apex predator is not simply to kill—it is to live in such a way that your existence defines the flow of energy in your ecosystem. Apex predators keep populations in check, cull the weak, and ensure balance in complex ecological systems. Wolves regulate deer herds; sharks cull diseased fish; eagles prune rodent populations.
In this light, the apex predator is not a villain but a vital organ in the body of life. Predation can be cruel, but in nature, it is also purposeful.
But when we apply this lens to humans, a paradox erupts.
Humans are not content to eat for survival. We consume to fill emotional voids, to flaunt status, to fuel insatiable economies. We don't just kill to live—we kill for profit, for pleasure, and sometimes, simply for sport. Our predation is not localized—it is planetary.
No other apex predator decimates entire ecosystems. No shark induces mass extinctions. No wolf rearranges weather patterns or drains aquifers dry to ship almonds across continents.
So the question is not can we dominate. Clearly, we can.
The question is: Should we have? And what does our mode of dominance say about us?
The Delusion of Sapiens: The Rational Ape FantasyLorentz, in HOMO, 99 and 44/100% NONSAPIENS, argues that the name Homo sapiens sapiens�the wise, wise human—is a tragicomic overstatement. Wisdom, he claims, is not just in the capacity to reason, but in the ability to foresee consequences, exercise restraint, and live in balance.
Instead, we see a species that weaponized its intelligence not for harmony but for hegemony. A species that turned its own fellow beings into prey through war, slavery, and genocide. A species that invented religion not as a vehicle for spiritual insight, but often as a license to kill in the name of a sky-father.
If apex predators are part of a natural web, humans act like they're above it. And in acting so, we’ve become the anti-predator—not nature’s balance-keepers, but her unhinged saboteurs.
Lorentz calls us "non-sapiens" for good reason. We build philosophies to justify our predation and hide behind them. We call meat "protein," war "defense," and environmental collapse "progress." We sanitize the blood from our hands with euphemism and abstraction.
And yet, the blood flows.
Predation, Psychopathy, and PowerOne of the darker revelations of Lorentz’s book is the connection between predation and human psychopathology. Unlike other predators, we do not kill out of instinct alone—but out of ideology, greed, envy, and projection. We kill with narratives. And perhaps no other creature has created as many murderous fictions as man.
History is soaked in these stories:
Crusades.
Inquisitions.
Colonial exterminations.
Holocausts.
Drone strikes.
All carried out not by beasts but by men in suits, robes, and uniforms—many convinced they were doing the work of God, Civilization, or Freedom.
This is not predation in the natural sense. It is something more sinister. As philosopher John Gray once wrote, “Humans are the only species that can imagine utopias—and then create hell in trying to reach them.�
We are not apex predators.
We are ideological predators.
Ecocide: The Predator That Eats the Whole WorldPerhaps the strongest argument against the idea of humans as apex predators is ecological. Real apex predators preserve the viability of their environment through natural limitations. A wolf doesn’t kill more elk than it needs. A hawk does not deforest to find mice.
But humans, particularly since the Industrial Revolution, have abandoned all such restraint. We are a predator that preys not just on other species—but on the very foundations of life itself:
The topsoil that grows our food.
The coral reefs that sustain marine ecosystems.
The air we breathe and the climate we evolved within.
No apex predator before us has triggered a mass extinction. We have launched the sixth.
And we do it not with fang or claw, but with spreadsheets and slogans. We call it development. We call it innovation. We call it freedom.
But nature doesn’t care what we call it. It simply collapses.
Evolutionary Detour or Divine Tragedy?Gerald B. Lorentz suggests that our species is not merely dangerous, but unfinished. Like a toddler with a flamethrower, we’ve mastered tools far faster than we’ve mastered ourselves. We are apex predators with adolescent minds—armed, frightened, overstimulated, and spiritually starved.
In evolutionary terms, we are brilliant, but brittle.
We built rockets before we built character. We mapped genomes before we healed our traumas. We harnessed electricity before we harnessed empathy.
And now, the predator is caught in its own trap.
We’ve engineered a civilization that depends on constant extraction, destruction, and domination—and it is killing us. The apex predator has become an auto-cannibal, devouring its own future.
Toward a New Definition of PowerIs there a path forward?
If we are to reclaim the word sapiens, it will not be by doubling down on conquest. It will be by redefining power—not as the ability to destroy, but as the ability to preserve. Not as domination, but as stewardship.
True apex predators know their place in the circle of life. They take only what they need. They don’t annihilate their own kin.
To earn that title, we must evolve beyond our monstrous adolescence. We must wake from the dream of supremacy and face the truth: that we are not above nature, not outside the web, and certainly not its master.
Only then can we become something more than 99 and 44/100% non-sapiens.
Only then might we become human.
Conclusion: The Mirror and the AbyssAre humans apex predators?
Yes—and no.
Yes, in that we dominate the food chain with almost mythical control.
No, in that we do not act like any predator nature has ever produced.
We are the anomaly. The glitch in the system. The god-animal that forgot its soul.
And yet, within that glitch is also our hope. Because if we can create madness on this scale, perhaps we can also create meaning. If we can collapse ecosystems, perhaps we can also restore them. If we can write genocides into law, perhaps we can also write new myths—myths of reverence, kinship, and planetary sanity.
But first we must look in the mirror.
And see not a crown-wearing king of beasts.
But a wounded predator, searching for wisdom in the wreckage of its own dominion.
Author’s Note:
This article is inspired by HOMO, 99 and 44/100% NONSAPIENS by Gerald B. Lorentz, a piercing examination of the human species through a lens that is equal parts satirical and damning. It challenges the myth of human exceptionalism and asks us to confront the monstrous and the miraculous within our evolutionary heritage.
We may be predators. But perhaps we are also pilgrims—wandering toward the faint glimmer of sapience not yet attained.
April 10, 2025
The Christian Genocide of Native Americans: What the Church Won’t Admit
“The destruction of the Indians of the Americas was, far and away, the most massive act of genocide in the history of the world.�Introduction: Blood Beneath the Cross� David E. Stannard, American Holocaust
When genocide is mentioned, most minds flash to the Holocaust, Stalin’s gulags, or Rwanda’s rivers choked with corpses. Rarely does the conversation include what happened in the Americas from the late 15th century onward—a continent-wide extermination that claimed tens of millions of Indigenous lives.
This historical silence is not accidental. It is the result of centuries of religious justification, theological whitewashing, and colonial myth-making. At the heart of this silence lies a brutal truth: the Christian Church—especially the Catholic hierarchy—played a central, sanctifying role in one of the greatest crimes against humanity ever committed.
In American Holocaust, historian David E. Stannard uncovers the religious foundations of this slaughter, exposing how Papal Bulls, Christian supremacy, and missionary zeal became instruments of genocide. The conquest of the New World was not simply a political or economic endeavor. It was a holy war.
Papal Bulls and the Birth of Holy GenocideThe Doctrine of Discovery: Christianity’s License to KillIn the mid-15th century, a series of Papal Bulls (official decrees from the Pope) laid the groundwork for centuries of conquest and extermination. These include:
Dum Diversas (1452) � Pope Nicholas V authorized the Portuguese king to "invade, search out, capture, vanquish, and subdue all Saracens and pagans whatsoever" and to reduce them "to perpetual slavery."
Romanus Pontifex (1455) � Reaffirmed the right to enslave non-Christians and take their lands.
Inter Caetera (1493) � Pope Alexander VI granted Spain divine authority over newly discovered lands in the Americas, instructing them to convert, conquer, and subdue Indigenous peoples.
Together, these Bulls constitute what is now called the Doctrine of Discovery—a legal-religious framework used to justify the seizure of non-Christian lands and the subjugation or extermination of their inhabitants.
The logic was chillingly simple: non-Christians had no legal rights. The Pope, as Christ’s representative on Earth, granted Christian monarchs the divine right to kill, enslave, or forcibly convert anyone outside the faith.
“Convert or Die�: Faith as a WeaponThe Requerimiento: The Christian Death WarrantTo formalize their spiritual conquest, the Spanish devised a document known as the Requerimiento. It was read aloud to Indigenous populations—often in Spanish or Latin—before an invasion:
“We ask and require you... to recognize the Church as ruler and superior of the whole world... But if you do not do this... we shall powerfully enter into your country, and shall make war against you... and shall take you, your wives, and your children, and shall make slaves of them... and we protest that the deaths and losses which shall accrue from this are your fault.�
This was not diplomacy. It was a religious ultimatum. And when the Natives inevitably did not comply—unable to understand the language or the theology—the invaders declared divine justification for war.
By the Numbers: A Continental HolocaustA Death Toll Beyond ComprehensionStannard estimates that the Indigenous population of the Americas before European contact was around 100 million people. Within 150 years, over 90% were dead.
Taino of Hispaniola: Reduced from 8 million to near extinction in 30 years
Aztec Empire: Millions dead through war, forced labor, and disease
Incas of Peru: Crushed by Spanish steel and smallpox
California Natives (1769�1900): From 300,000 to 20,000, many through Catholic mission enslavement
While disease played a role, Stannard emphasizes that it was war, starvation, rape, forced labor, and psychological destruction—a±ô±ô deliberately orchestrated—that caused most of the deaths.
The Priests and the Sword: Christianity on the Front LinesThe Myth of the Gentle MissionaryFar from being passive observers, many Christian missionaries were active agents in this genocide.
🔥 Bartolomé de las Casas, one of the few voices of conscience, documented the carnage:The Mission System: Forced Conversion and Cultural Rape“They [the Spanish] made gallows just high enough for the feet to nearly touch the ground� and burned the Indians alive thirteen at a time in honor of Christ and the twelve Apostles.�
In places like California, Catholic missions functioned as theocratic prisons:
Native children were baptized without consent
Families were separated and punished for speaking their language
Floggings, rape, and starvation were common
Traditional spiritual practices were banned as “devil worship�
Priests like JunĂpero Serra—canonized by Pope Francis in 2015—oversaw the enslavement and abuse of thousands. To many Indigenous Californians, Serra is not a saint, but a spiritual colonizer whose missions destroyed entire cultures.
Christian Supremacy and Racial DoctrineAt the heart of this holy war was the belief in Christian superiority—not just spiritual, but biological and cultural.
Non-Christians were framed as:
â€ÂŮ˛ą±ą˛ą˛µ±đ˛őâ€�
“Children of the Devil�
“Unfit to govern themselves�
The conquest was viewed as a sacred duty, mirroring the Biblical conquest of Canaan. The Americas were the “Promised Land,� and Indigenous peoples were the new Canaanites—meant to be slaughtered for divine inheritance.
This ideology didn’t die with the Spanish. It was passed on to:
Puritan colonists, who justified massacres like the Mystic Massacre with scripture
American settlers, who called it Manifest Destiny
Christian boarding schools, whose motto was “Kill the Indian, Save the Man�
The Ongoing Legacy: The Doctrine Lives OnLegal RamificationsThe Doctrine of Discovery still shapes U.S. and international law. In the 2005 Supreme Court case City of Sherrill v. Oneida Indian Nation, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg cited the Doctrine to justify denying land back to the Oneida Nation.
This genocide is not just historical. Its aftershocks are alive in:
Land theft
Broken treaties
Environmental destruction of sacred sites
Generational trauma and cultural erasure
Silence, Denial, and the Church’s Failure to RepentNo Full Apology. No Revocation. No Justice.The Catholic Church has never officially revoked the genocidal Papal Bulls. Despite centuries of Indigenous protests, the Vatican continues to evade full accountability.
Christianity, particularly Catholicism, has canonized saints who presided over Indigenous death camps. It has built monuments to their legacy. It has rarely, if ever, returned stolen land or provided reparations.
Until this changes, every mass, every monument, every “mission� named after these colonizers stands as a blasphemous reminder of genocide in God’s name.
Toward Reckoning and HealingThis article is not a call for vengeance—it is a call for truth, accountability, and reparation. Churches and Christian institutions must:
Revoke the Papal Bulls and Doctrine of Discovery
Publicly apologize without conditions or caveats
Pay reparations and return land to Indigenous communities
Integrate the true history into church doctrine, schools, and liturgy
The Cross Still Casts a ShadowChristianity came to the Americas not as a healer, but as a destroyer. Behind the message of salvation was a machinery of domination—a sacred empire built on conquest, slavery, and annihilation.
The blood of millions cries out not just from the past, but from the present—buried in stolen earth, in desecrated sacred sites, and in the haunted dreams of survivors� descendants.
Until the Church confronts this sacred crime and makes it right, the cross will remain stained with the blood of the First Peoples.
“Our genocide was baptized in holy water.�
� Winona LaDuke, Indigenous activist
April 8, 2025
Why Self-Righteous Christians Play Dumb on the Whatever Podcast
In recent years, a peculiar spectacle has unfolded across the cultural battlefield of social media: self-proclaimed Christians, often evangelical or conservative in orientation, participate in podcasts like Whatever—where they lob absurd, often deliberately simplistic questions at nonbelievers, feminists, or secular thinkers. These inquiries—cloaked in innocence or confusion—range from “If there’s no God, where do you get your morals from?� to “Why do you care about right or wrong if we’re just stardust?� or “If evolution is true, why are there still monkeys?�
To the casual observer, these questions might seem like the product of naivety, a lack of education, or a poor grasp of philosophy or science. But the truth is deeper, darker, and more calculated. This article will explore the psychological, cultural, and theological roots of this behavior—why self-righteous Christians play dumb in the public square, and how this tactic functions not as an honest pursuit of truth, but as a performance designed to reinforce their worldview and discredit those who challenge it.
Weaponized Ignorance: Playing Dumb as StrategyAt first glance, these questions appear genuinely uninformed. But look closer, and you’ll see something more sinister. These aren’t real questions—they’re rhetorical weapons.
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This behavior is a form of strategic ignorance: pretending not to understand complex issues in order to trap the other person into a defensive position. The goal isn’t truth or learning—it’s winning. By asking questions that are laughably simplistic, the Christian participant avoids engaging with the real intellectual depth of the opposing view. They shift the burden of proof, sow doubt, and subtly imply that the nonbeliever’s worldview is self-defeating.
For example, when someone on the Whatever podcast asks, “Without God, why not murder someone if it feels good?� they’re not truly inquiring about ethical frameworks in secular philosophy. They’re positioning themselves as moral arbiters, implying that atheism leads directly to nihilism, immorality, or chaos.
This isn’t a conversation—it’s a trap masquerading as a question.
Apologetics Theater: Performance Over DialogueEvangelical Christians, especially those shaped by fundamentalist traditions, are trained not in dialogue, but in apologetics. These are not organic discussions, but pre-scripted arguments meant to defend the faith against outside critique.
Apologetics often functions like a chess game: the believer learns specific moves, phrases, and questions meant to disorient their “opponent.� Podcasts like Whatever provide a stage for this performance, with a captive audience that already sympathizes with the Christian perspective. The self-righteous believer plays the role of “humble seeker,� when in fact they are preaching to the choir.
In this context, playing dumb has strategic value. It makes the unbeliever seem condescending, cold, or over-intellectualized. The Christian appears “pure,� “simple,� and full of childlike faith. This dynamic evokes biblical metaphors about the wisdom of the world being foolishness to God (1 Corinthians 1:27), thus reinforcing the evangelical’s belief that truth does not come from reason but revelation.
The Inversion of Power: Victimhood as Moral SuperiorityAnother layer of this behavior is rooted in a psychological inversion of power. The Christian appears confused and humble, framing themselves as a victim of intellectual elitism. They pose questions they already believe they know the answers to—not because they’re confused, but because they want to lure the unbeliever into sounding arrogant, prideful, or spiritually blind.
This allows the Christian to claim the high ground—not by knowledge, but by moral framing. They become martyrs for the truth, ridiculed by the godless world, just as Jesus predicted his followers would be. This dynamic is critical to the evangelical worldview, which sees persecution and misunderstanding not as failures, but as validation.
Thus, asking “stupid� questions isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a performance of victimhood designed to frame the Christian as righteous and the unbeliever as cruel, lost, or corrupted by the world.
Tribal Validation: Reinforcing the Echo ChamberPodcasts like Whatever don’t exist in a vacuum—they are part of a larger media ecosystem that thrives on tribalism, outrage, and confirmation bias. The Christians on these shows aren’t trying to convince their opponents—they’re trying to impress their own side.
By asking loaded or ignorant-sounding questions, they trigger responses that can be clipped, mocked, or framed as evidence of secular absurdity. This content is then fed back to their own tribe, who rejoice in how foolish the world has become. They don’t need to win the argument—they just need to reaffirm the boundaries of the in-group.
Every clip of an atheist struggling to explain morality without invoking God becomes proof that faith is superior to reason. Every moment of silence, every sigh of frustration, is cast as evidence that “the world has no answers.� This is not debate—it’s tribal theater.
Fear of the Abyss: Why They Can’t Let GoUnderneath all of this is fear—deep, existential fear. Many fundamentalist Christians were raised to believe that without God, life is meaningless, the world is evil, and death leads to eternal torture. To truly entertain the possibility that these teachings might be wrong would unravel their entire sense of self.
So instead, they caricature opposing views. They reduce complex philosophies to absurd questions. They play dumb—not because they are dumb, but because it’s safer.
It’s safer to ask, “Where do your morals come from?� than to confront the reality that morality can arise from empathy, evolutionary cooperation, or cultural consensus. It’s safer to believe atheists have no answers than to admit that one’s entire spiritual framework might be built on inherited mythology.
Playing dumb is not stupidity. It is defense. It is denial. It is the wall between faith and the terrifying abyss of doubt.
The Cure for Performative IgnoranceSo what can be done?
First, recognize these tactics for what they are: not genuine questions, but rehearsed provocations. Don’t fall into the trap of over-explaining to someone who’s not listening. Instead, call out the performance. Ask them if they really want to know, or if they’re just parroting talking points.
Second, appeal to the human underneath the armor. Often, people use religious certainty as a mask for deep pain or confusion. If you can bypass the performance and connect on a personal level, the real conversation can begin.
Third, build secular spaces where thoughtful, compassionate values are lived out. The best response to Christian performative ignorance is not intellectual dominance—it’s ethical integrity, emotional intelligence, and lived wisdom.
The Smokescreen of the RighteousOn podcasts like Whatever, the game is rigged. The Christians who ask these questions are not seeking understanding—they’re affirming their superiority. Their performance of ignorance is a shield, not a flaw. It’s part of a strategy designed to provoke, discredit, and reinforce tribal walls.
But the world is not so simple. And true seekers—whether believers or not—know that the real questions aren’t asked with smug certainty or strategic confusion. They are asked in the dark, in trembling, in humility.
When the curtain drops on the performance, only the honest remain. And honesty—however uncomfortable—is where transformation begins.
April 7, 2025
Does Andrew Wilson Have a Satanic Spirit?
In the ever-unfolding arena of online personalities who claim the banner of Christ, one figure has risen not for his charity, humility, or example—but for controversy, spectacle, and manipulation. His name is Andrew Wilson, host of The Crucible, a livestream show often centered around debates, culture war skirmishes, and Christian apologetics. At first glance, he appears to be a devout defender of Orthodox Christianity. But when one looks past the slogans and into the substance of his actions, a different pattern begins to emerge—one far removed from the teachings of Christ, and disturbingly reminiscent of another spiritual path entirely.
This article does not set out to brand Wilson a Satanist outright—such judgments are not ours to make. But it does raise a troubling question: if one claims Christ while embodying the spirit of the Accuser, is it not worth a second look?
The Manipulation of the FlockA recent event offers a glaring window into Wilson's behavior: a livestream titled “The TikTok Invasion,� heavily promoted to his followers. Wilson promised entertainment, debate, and commentary, and—most importantly—he tied that promise to monetary donations. Before the stream aired, he raised $2,000 from his Christian audience, under the impression that this would support the promised content.
But the stream never happened—at least, not that night. The audience was left empty-handed. The next evening, Wilson finally delivered a livestream, but even then, he paused partway through to once again request additional money before continuing. He established a financial ransom on content, not as a one-time event, but as a pattern: demanding specific donation thresholds mid-stream before proceeding.
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This behavior is not the mark of a servant-leader tending to his flock. It is the behavior of a showman, using the sacred banner of Christianity to mask a transactional hustle. While the early church sold all they had and distributed to the poor (Acts 2:45), Wilson appears to leverage spiritual hunger for personal gain. His followers, largely devout and sincere, seem unaware—or unwilling to admit—that they are being fleeced under the pretense of faith.
The Fruit of the Tree: Behavior Contrary to ChristIt isn’t just Wilson’s fundraising methods that warrant concern. His demeanor, lifestyle, and rhetoric point sharply away from the teachings of Jesus Christ:
Mocking Debaters: Christ, though forceful in truth, never stooped to scorn. Yet Wilson ridicules those he debates with sneering tones and ad hominem attacks, delighting in humiliation rather than conviction.
Treatment of Women: Wilson has been noted to belittle and dismiss women with sarcasm and machismo, contradicting the Gospel ethic of equality and dignity. Mary Magdalene was not mocked by Jesus, nor was the woman at the well. They were uplifted, honored, and transformed.
Lifestyle Choices: The frequent smoking, drinking, and public displays of indulgence suggest not a man striving toward spiritual discipline, but one exalting in base pleasure—a trait traditionally warned against in Christian ascetic traditions.
Joy in Destruction: Wilson relishes “owning� the left, crushing his enemies, and asserting dominance—completely contrary to Christ’s command: “Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you� (Matthew 5:44).
Jesus said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone� (John 8:7). Wilson seems all too ready to lob boulders with glee.
Satanic Echoes? A Comparison with LaVeyan TenetsLet us consider, for a moment, the Nine Satanic Statements of Anton LaVey’s Church of Satan. Though LaVeyan Satanism is atheistic and symbolic, its values still reflect a moral inversion of Christian principles. Strikingly, certain behaviors attributed to Wilson align more closely with LaVeyan principles than with the Sermon on the Mount.
LaVey: “Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.�
Wilson’s lifestyle—smoking, drinking, and scornful speech—celebrates indulgence. Orthodox Christianity, by contrast, holds fasting, sobriety, and humility as marks of spiritual growth.
LaVey: “Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.�
Wilson openly mocks, attacks, and humiliates his enemies. He does not seek reconciliation or redemptive dialogue. He seeks dominance and vengeance.
LaVey: “Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates.�
This is antithetical to Christ, who ate with sinners, forgave his killers, and washed the feet of traitors.
LaVey: “Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.�
Wilson often seems to revel in wrath, pride, gluttony, and scorn—yet these are condemned as deadly sins in Christian doctrine.
When placed side by side, Wilson's behavior echoes not the humility and love of Christ, but the pride and self-serving philosophy of Satanism. Again, the point is not to declare him a card-carrying Satanist, but to raise the question: if the fruits are bitter, what tree are they growing from?
Contradictions to the Orthodox Christian TraditionWhile Andrew Wilson may claim Orthodoxy, his public actions reveal glaring contradictions to the very foundations of Eastern Orthodox Christian faith and practice. The Orthodox Church isn’t just a belief system—it’s a tradition of humility, asceticism, reverence, and transformation. And by these standards, Wilson’s conduct is not only inappropriate—it borders on blasphemous.
Let’s examine some key Orthodox Christian tenets that Wilson regularly violates:
1. Humility Over PrideThe Orthodox faith teaches kenosis, or self-emptying humility. Saints are venerated not for their power, but for their meekness, patience, and quiet surrender to God.
Contradiction: Wilson’s platform thrives on self-glorification, dominance, and the public humiliation of others. He takes visible pride in “owning� debate opponents and crushing ideological enemies, contradicting the Orthodox understanding of ego as the enemy of the soul.
2. Fasting and SobrietyOrthodox Christians observe rigorous fasts, abstaining from indulgence to cultivate spiritual clarity. Sobriety—both literal and spiritual—is a core virtue. The Church Fathers warn against drunkenness and gluttony as doors to the passions.
Contradiction: Wilson smokes and drinks casually on stream. Rather than confronting or disciplining these behaviors as Orthodox asceticism demands, he flaunts them—normalizing carnal gratification in a space meant for spiritual seriousness.
3. Watchfulness (Nepsis) and Guarding the TongueThe Orthodox tradition deeply emphasizes watchfulness—inner vigilance, especially over speech. The Desert Fathers taught that slander, sarcasm, and harsh words are poison to the soul.
Contradiction: Wilson regularly mocks others, belittles women, and uses cutting humor to degrade people on air. This runs directly against the Orthodox understanding of hesychia (inner stillness) and the discipline of the tongue, central to spiritual maturity.
4. Love as the Highest CommandmentIn the Orthodox tradition, agape—sacrificial, unconditional love—is the goal of theosis (union with God). Christ's command to “love your enemies� is taken seriously in Orthodox spirituality, often embodied by monks who pray for their persecutors.
Contradiction: Wilson not only disobeys this command, he seems to relish in destroying others. His joy in others� downfall is a betrayal of the very heart of Orthodox ethics.
5. Liturgical Reverence and Holy SilenceOrthodox worship is steeped in reverence, mystery, and awe. The faithful are called to participate in this mystery through humility, repentance, and fear of God—not through loud displays or performative religiosity.
Contradiction: Wilson’s livestreams are performances. They mimic the form of a “Christian mission� but are filled with ridicule, posturing, and monetization tactics that more closely resemble a spectacle than a sacrament.
6. Clerical and Lay DistinctionsOrthodox tradition strictly differentiates between clergy and laity, and honors proper spiritual authority and accountability. No one presumes to teach without blessing and obedience to the Church.
Contradiction: Wilson positions himself as a kind of internet preacher without any visible accountability to a bishop, parish, or spiritual father. He uses the language of the Church, but weaponizes it for ideological purposes—without the spiritual checks and structures Orthodoxy requires.
Orthodoxy Is a Path, Not a PlatformTo be Orthodox is not simply to say you are. It is to live in a continual state of repentance, reverence, and love. It is to walk the narrow way of self-denial, silence, prayer, and service. By this standard, Wilson’s words and actions suggest a deep departure from the Orthodox path he claims to represent.
Selective Scripture, Convenient ChristianityWilson and his wife Rachel often cite scripture to justify their actions, yet it appears highly selective. Much like the Pharisees whom Jesus rebuked, they strain at gnats while swallowing camels—highlighting verses that support their dominance and dismissiveness, while ignoring the heart of Christ’s message: humility, mercy, and unconditional love.
They rally behind Old Testament thunder while skipping over the New Covenant call to grace. Their Christianity feels less like the Way of Christ and more like a moral tribalism cloaked in pious language.
Jesus wept over the self-righteous. He embraced the outcast. He forgave the unforgivable. He warned his followers against wolves in sheep’s clothing—those who appear righteous but devour the flock.
The Mirror Must Be FacedThis article does not exist to accuse, but to illuminate. The aim is not to call Andrew Wilson a Satanist but to ask: why do his actions so starkly contradict the very Gospel he claims to preach? Why do they more closely mirror the self-serving, mocking, indulgent spirit of LaVeyan Satanism than the selfless, humble path of Jesus Christ?
Christians must not be gullible. The Apostle Paul warned of “false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.� (2 Corinthians 11:13�14)
In the age of the livestream preacher and the online zealot, discernment is more necessary than ever. Let us judge not by words—but by fruit. For in the end, the tree declares itself.
Andrew Wilson and the Cult of the Dominant MaleEnter Andrew Wilson, host ofĚýThe Crucible, a self-professed Orthodox Christian voice in the online culture war. Wilson claims the mantle of tradition, authority, and faith—but his conduct tells a different story.
In one instance, Wilson raised $2,000 from his Christian followers, promising a “TikTok Invasion� livestream. The stream never aired that night. When he returned the following evening, he paused midway through—demanding more money before continuing. This kind of manipulative bait-and-switch is not ministry—it’s exploitation.
He mocks opponents, belittles women, smokes and drinks on stream, and takes visible joy in “owning� his ideological enemies. This is not spiritual leadership. It is alpha-male cosplay in ecclesiastical drag.
Wilson presents himself as a warrior for the faith, but what he embodies is the masculine wound institutionalized by the Church: power without presence, ego without empathy, theology without soul.
ADDENDUM: Contradictions to the Orthodox Christian TraditionFrom the article:ĚýWhile Wilson may wear the outer symbols of Orthodoxy, his public actions reveal glaring contradictions to the faith he claims to uphold:
Humility Over Pride
Orthodoxy teaches kenosis—self-emptying humility.
� Wilson thrives on self-glorification and humiliation of others.
Fasting and Sobriety
Orthodoxy demands discipline of body and mind.
� Wilson flaunts smoking and drinking in spiritual settings.
Watchfulness and Guarding the Tongue
The tongue is a sword that must be sheathed.
� Wilson mocks, ridicules, and derides without pause.
Agape: Love for Enemies
Orthodox monks pray for those who persecute them.
� Wilson rejoices in ideological destruction and domination.
Liturgical Reverence and Silence
The Church is a place of awe, not performance.
� Wilson monetizes faith through theatrical, rage-fueled livestreams.
Clerical Accountability
No one teaches without a blessing.
� Wilson acts without oversight, weaponizing faith for power.
What we see in Wilson’s behavior is not an outlier—it is the logical outcome of centuries of institutional distortion.
Toxic masculinity didn’t appear in Orthodoxy by accident. It is the inevitable result of excluding women, exalting authoritarianism, and recasting vulnerability as weakness.
The Orthodox Church made spiritual masculinity about control.
Christ made it about compassion.
April 6, 2025
Why Hearts Grow Dark: Hatred, Wounding, and the Struggle to Heal
There is a reason every ancient religion, every shamanic path, every whisper of mysticism warns about the heart. Not just that it is important. Not just that it is the seat of love, joy, and peace. But that when the heart grows dark�truly dark—it becomes the most impenetrable chamber of all. A place where no light enters. A place where healing becomes not only difficult, but at times resisted. It is not the mind that holds the deepest wounds, nor the body alone—it is the heart, where feeling, meaning, and identity are most deeply fused.
And when the heart is wounded, and that wound festers into hatred, betrayal, or bitterness, it can become a fortress of suffering.
Let us enter this forbidden place—this darkened heart—and ask, without flinching: Why do hearts turn against the light? Why is hatred so sticky? And why is healing from a heart wound not like healing from any other kind of pain?
The Wounding of the Heart: A Sacred BreachTo understand the darkened heart, we must first understand what the heart truly is.
It is not just a symbol. It is not a Valentine’s Day cartoon or a Hallmark slogan. It is the emotional and spiritual epicenter of the human experience. It is where vulnerability meets memory. Where love and pain entwine. Where the soul makes its first nest.
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And so, when love—real love—is broken, betrayed, or shattered, the wound is not just emotional. It is ontological. Something at the very core of being is breached. A heart wound is a sacred wound. It is not merely “hurt feelings.� It is an existential rupture, a betrayal of safety, meaning, or self.
This is why phrases like “my heart broke� or “they crushed my spirit� carry such deep gravitas. The body may survive, the mind may adapt—but the heart, once shattered, is never quite the same.
When Religion Covers the Wound Instead of Healing ItIn many cases—particularly within Christianity—the wounded heart is not truly healed, but spiritually bypassed. Instead of guiding the seeker inward to confront the raw truth of their pain, religion often offers a story to soothe the heart rather than transform it. This is not healing—it’s a band-aid.
Rather than facing the betrayal, the grief, the rage, the inner abandonment, many are taught to give it to Jesus, rebuke the devil, or accept grace. While well-intentioned, this can become a subtle form of avoidance. The mythological narrative takes over where emotional honesty should begin. The shadow—the dark, rejected parts of the psyche—is not integrated, but projected outward onto figures like Satan, sin, or demonic influence.
This turns trauma into theology and bypasses the sacred work of transformation.
True healing requires shadow work: turning inward, naming the pain, grieving the wound, and reclaiming what was exiled. It requires silence, not sermons. Presence, not platitudes. The mythic symbols can guide us, but they cannot replace the raw, brave act of feeling.
To truly heal the heart, we must stop covering it in religious story and start listening to what it’s still trying to say beneath the prayer.
Why the Heart Grows DarkA dark heart is not born—it is forged. No child comes into this world with hatred pulsing in their chest. It is always a reaction. A defense. A shield forged in fire. But over time, the defense becomes the prison.
Here are some of the roots of the darkening:
Betrayal: When someone we trusted with our vulnerability harms us—especially repeatedly—the heart recoils. Trust collapses. A wall is built.
Neglect or abandonment: Even more than abuse, long-term emotional absence can create an icy void in the heart. The child learns: “No one comes for me.� This emptiness can harden into bitterness.
Shame: When we are made to feel fundamentally unworthy, unloved, or wrong, the heart internalizes this lie. It begins to believe it is unworthy of healing.
Grief without release: When grief is not expressed, it stagnates. The heart fills with uncried tears, unspoken goodbyes. Eventually, this grief can sour into resentment toward life itself.
Powerlessness: Repeated experiences of being powerless or violated can lead to rage, and rage can settle into hatred—not always toward others, but often toward the self, which is even harder to detect.
And slowly, the heart begins to close.
First for protection. Then out of habit. Then out of fear. And finally—out of identification.
When Darkness Becomes HomeA terrifying thing happens when the dark heart is left unexamined long enough: it becomes familiar. Even comforting. Hatred, bitterness, cynicism—these start to feel like power in a world that has taken everything else.
To hate becomes a kind of control. To wall off love becomes a strategy of survival. To sneer at light becomes a ritual of protection. The heart, once soft and radiant, becomes armored—made of stone.
And here lies the tragedy: the darkened heart often wants to heal, but will not let itself. Because healing requires a re-opening. A softening. A trusting. And that—after so much pain—feels like walking naked into a battlefield.
The Spiritual Cost of HatredIn every major tradition, hatred is not just an emotional problem—it is a spiritual catastrophe.
In Christianity, hatred is seen as the antithesis of God, who is love. A heart filled with hate cannot receive grace, because it has already judged itself and others beyond redemption.
In Buddhism, hatred is one of the Three Poisons that bind beings to suffering. It is seen as a veil that clouds true perception and blocks compassion, the key to liberation.
In Islam, the “sick heart� is referenced often in the Qur'an—hearts filled with arrogance, pride, or envy. These hearts are not open to Allah because they are full of themselves.
In Taoism, the closed heart loses harmony with the Tao—the Way. It becomes rigid, controlling, disconnected from the flow of nature.
In other words, hatred is not just a feeling. It is a spiritual distortion that collapses the soul inward. The heart becomes like a black hole—absorbing all light, but emitting none.
Why Healing Is So HardHealing the heart is sacred work. But it is often unbearably difficult. Why?
Because to heal the heart, you must feel what broke it. And no one wants to feel that again. But there is no way around. Only through.
Because the heart must trust again. Not just others—but itself. Healing requires believing that softness will not kill you.
Because bitterness offers seductive power. It feels good to blame. To feel righteous in our suffering. Letting go means surrendering the false power of grievance.
Because healing demands grief. And grief is often unbearable. To heal the heart is to weep. To collapse. To rage. To feel the original wound without armor.
Because the ego often depends on the wound. If your identity is wrapped around being the betrayed one, the abandoned one, the tough one—then who are you without the pain?
But What If... The Light Returns?And yet—hearts do heal.
Slowly. In stages. In layers.
Not by bypassing pain but by walking into it with sacred presence. By creating a space where grief can breathe. By letting love, over time, begin to trickle back in—not always as romance, but as life, connection, soul.
Healing does not mean forgetting. It means integrating. It means carrying the scars not as proof of brokenness, but as symbols of resurrection.
In mystical Christianity, this is the "new heart" God promises. In yogic terms, it is the opening of Anahata, the heart chakra—where the wound transforms into radiance. In psychological terms, it is trauma metabolized into meaning. In mythic terms, it is the descent into the underworld and the return with light.
The Holy Work of the Broken HeartThe heart that turns dark is not evil. It is wounded. And that wound, when sanctified, becomes a gateway to depth, compassion, and mystic knowing.
If your heart has grown dark, you are not lost.
You are on the edge of a sacred path—a pilgrimage into the fire that once burned you, but that can now reforge you.
Let it weep.
Let it ache.
Let it rage in safety.
But do not let it close forever.
Because even the blackest heart still holds an ember. And the Divine, in every tradition, is not afraid of your hatred, your grief, your fury.
The Divine knows that what you call darkness may only be a heart that waited too long for someone to see its pain—and stayed silent.
But you can open it.
You can become the one who sees.
And that, truly, is when God returns.