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200 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1942
He lived here as an invalid lives within the space he has learned to inhabit. As if the room had been tailored to his body. Years passed without him setting foot in the other wing of the castle, in which salon after salon opened one into the next, first green, then blue, then red, all hung with gold chandeliers.
Light and time erase the contours and distinctive shading of the faces. One has to angle the image this way and that until it catches the light in a particular way and one can make out the person whose features have been absorbed into the blank surface of the plate. It is the same with our memories. But then one day light strikes from a certain angle and one recaptures a face again.
All that was left was the waiting and the thirst for revenge 鈥� and now that the waiting is over and the time for revenge is here, I am amazed to feel how hopeless it all is, and the pointlessness of anything we could learn or admit or fight out between us. I understand the reality. Time is a purgatory that has cleansed all fury from my memories.
鈥灻巒cet, cu gesturi lente, generalul arunc膬 jurnalul 卯ngust 卯n 葯emineu... Fl膬c膬rile se 卯nal葲膬 tot mai sus, ceara sigiliului s-a topit deja..., o m卯n膬 nev膬zut膬 parc膬 ar r膬sfoi filele de culoarea pergamentului vechi, dintre fl膬c膬ri se ive葯te brusc scrisul Krisztinei, literele ascu葲ite, col葲uroase, a葯ternute odinioar膬 pe h卯rtie de o m卯n膬 pref膬cut膬 卯ntre timp 卯n praf, acum focul devoreaz膬 literele, h卯rtia, jurnalul dispare, la fel ca m卯na care 葯i-a scris 卯n tain膬 g卯ndurile pe aceste file. 脦n mijlocul j膬ratecului r膬m卯ne numai un pumn de cenu葯膬 neagr膬 - e m膬t膬soas膬, la fel ca moarul, materialul fin al hainelor de doliu鈥� (pp.166-167).
With age, memory enlarges every detail and presents it in the sharpest outline.When the rhapsody of those evening lyrics dissolved into the heartbeat of these present words, I heard a tremor that wasn鈥檛 a simulacrum of a faint earthquake but the obstreperous throbbing of a vein - a matter of delicate urgency where an inflammation not arrested in time leaves a spot defunct; worse, violated. Such violated lumps of memory hover around a life like the spirit - unseen, unlit, frequently uncouth but always undone.
Their friendship was deep and wordless, as are all the emotions that will last a lifetime. And like all great emotions, this one contained within itself both shame and a sense of guilt, for no one may isolate one of his fellows from the rest of humanity with impunity.Over a period of seventy-five years, the birth, maturity and death of every emotion is held between the tender palms of decision and indecision, truth and cowardice, fate and loss, and is flannelled against life filters. A single deed, thus crushed and sieved, comes to haunt one for forty-one years, enmeshing him in the web his exploring fingers had unsuspectingly sewn around his own house. Did the deed trickle down in the same abnegating, granular texture beneath the pillow of the other too, robbing his sleep for those very forty-one years? M谩rai invites us to find out over a course of a cold, dark night; lit exquisitely by one鈥檚 questions, suspended excruciatingly by another鈥檚 abstinence and held inadvertently by a few embers, standing witness to a debilitating relationship, slowly meeting her fate.