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Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant
Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir (2024)What are the lives of America's richest families really like? Their nannies see it all�
When Stephanie Kiser moves to New York City after college to pursue a career in writing, she quickly learns that her entry-level salary won't cover the high cost of living―never mind her crushing student loan debt. But there is one in-demand job that pays more than enough to allow Stephanie to stay in the city: nannying for the 1%. Desperate to escape the poverty of her own childhood, Stephanie falls into a job that hijacks her life for the next seven years: a glorified personal assistant to toddlers on Manhattan's Upper East Side.
At first, nannying seems like the perfect solution―the high pay covers Stephanie's bills, and she's surprised by how attached she becomes to the kids she cares for, even as she gasps over Prada baby onesies and preschools that cost more than her college tuition. But the grueling twelve-hour days leave her little time to see her friends, date, or pursue any creative projects that might lead to a more prestigious career. The allure of the seemingly-glamorous job begins to dull as Stephanie comes to understand more about what really happens behind the closed doors of million-dollar Park Avenue apartments―and that money doesn't guarantee happiness. Soon she will have to decide whether to stay with the children she's grown to love, or if there's something better out there just beyond her reach.
Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant is alternately poignant and funny, a portrait of a generation of Americans struggling to find work they love balanced against the headwinds of global uncertainty and an economy stacked against anyone trying to work their way up from the bottom. It's a provocative story of class, caregiving, friendship, and family―and a juicy, voyeuristic peek behind the curtain of obscene wealth and the privilege and opportunity that comes with it. In this unputdownable memoir, Stephanie chronicles her journey from newbie nanny to beloved caregiver—and the painful decision to eventually say goodbye to the children she has grown to love.
When Stephanie Kiser moves to New York City after college to pursue a career in writing, she quickly learns that her entry-level salary won't cover the high cost of living―never mind her crushing student loan debt. But there is one in-demand job that pays more than enough to allow Stephanie to stay in the city: nannying for the 1%. Desperate to escape the poverty of her own childhood, Stephanie falls into a job that hijacks her life for the next seven years: a glorified personal assistant to toddlers on Manhattan's Upper East Side.
At first, nannying seems like the perfect solution―the high pay covers Stephanie's bills, and she's surprised by how attached she becomes to the kids she cares for, even as she gasps over Prada baby onesies and preschools that cost more than her college tuition. But the grueling twelve-hour days leave her little time to see her friends, date, or pursue any creative projects that might lead to a more prestigious career. The allure of the seemingly-glamorous job begins to dull as Stephanie comes to understand more about what really happens behind the closed doors of million-dollar Park Avenue apartments―and that money doesn't guarantee happiness. Soon she will have to decide whether to stay with the children she's grown to love, or if there's something better out there just beyond her reach.
Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant is alternately poignant and funny, a portrait of a generation of Americans struggling to find work they love balanced against the headwinds of global uncertainty and an economy stacked against anyone trying to work their way up from the bottom. It's a provocative story of class, caregiving, friendship, and family―and a juicy, voyeuristic peek behind the curtain of obscene wealth and the privilege and opportunity that comes with it. In this unputdownable memoir, Stephanie chronicles her journey from newbie nanny to beloved caregiver—and the painful decision to eventually say goodbye to the children she has grown to love.
336 pages, Paperback
First published August 6, 2024
436 people are currently reading
33.7k people want to read
About the author
Stephanie Kiser
1Ìýbook103ÌýfollowersStephanie Kiser is a retired nanny living in New York City. She grew up in North Providence, Rhode Island before moving to Boston to attend Emerson College where she studied Writing for Film & Television. For seven years, Stephanie worked as a nanny to some of Manhattan’s wealthiest families before pivoting careers.
She lives in Queens with her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Burger Clinton.
Stephanie is represented by Jen Nadol at The Unter Agency.
Follow her on Instagram @stephykiser
She lives in Queens with her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Burger Clinton.
Stephanie is represented by Jen Nadol at The Unter Agency.
Follow her on Instagram @stephykiser
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 661 reviews
July 26, 2024
I went into this book expecting some funny stories about nannying for the ultra-wealthy, and while it absolutely delivered those, it also went much deeper.
The author contrasts her own childhood growing up in a chaotic household led by young, poor parents to the lives of her nanny charges, where every advantage in the world is available and taken for granted.
She explores complex feelings about being in a role that is both better paid and less prestigious than her friends� jobs, watching an uneven division of labour between mothers and fathers in even the wealthiest households, and being treated as superior to other nannies because she’s white. This book was super fascinating and I would absolutely recommend it.
The author contrasts her own childhood growing up in a chaotic household led by young, poor parents to the lives of her nanny charges, where every advantage in the world is available and taken for granted.
She explores complex feelings about being in a role that is both better paid and less prestigious than her friends� jobs, watching an uneven division of labour between mothers and fathers in even the wealthiest households, and being treated as superior to other nannies because she’s white. This book was super fascinating and I would absolutely recommend it.
August 20, 2024
In her debut memoir, Stephanie Kiser (b. ~1991) writes about her 20s working as a nanny for various wealthy New York families, while heavily interspersing narratives of her own working class childhood in Rhode Island, airing her own entitlement, her family's dirty laundry, and at times, her own cluelessness and stupidity ("I got amazing seats to Hamilton and had to look up if Hamilton was a real person at halftime, I mean, intermission"), in the process. It's not a good look and was quite reminiscent of the Talia Jane Yelp open letter fiasco of 2016.
While I sympathized with Kiser in parts, she also comes across as incredibly entitled. She chose to go into debt by getting an expensive undergrad degree in the liberal arts (forgoing the basketball scholarships she received at less prestigious schools), then chose to move to one of the most expensive cities in the US after college, and was sadly disappointed the only high-paying job she could easily get as a new college grad in NYC was to be a nanny. And she was making good money as a nanny - around $100K/year! Yet, her lifestyle inflated with her money, and she felt entitled to luxury apartments at buildings with doormen, Pottery Barn furniture, and a purebred King Charles Spaniel puppy. I'm a few years older than Kiser, and I spent my 20s working a 60-hour/week job making around $20K/year in a purposely lower cost of living town, scrupulously couponing and saving, very rarely going out to eat, and living with cheap particle board Ikea furniture and hand-me-downs.
I don't think the extensive reflections on Kiser's childhood and family life were very helpful in the overall narrative. I felt uncomfortable on behalf of her family whose dirty laundry and sensitive topics she shared, and it came across as self-centered and demonstrating limited perspective on life. Like I say with almost all of my memoir reviews, the mark of a good memoir is in the growth and shift in perspectives the author demonstrates from a retrospective retelling of their lives. There are glimmers of that here, when Kiser realizes she's benefitting from white privilege and isn't the worst off in the COVID pandemic compared to many of her nanny cohort, but overall I don't think enough time, distance and maturation has passed from the events of Kiser's 20s to effectively write this memoir at this point in time.
My statistics:
Book 183 for 2024
Book 1786 cumulatively
While I sympathized with Kiser in parts, she also comes across as incredibly entitled. She chose to go into debt by getting an expensive undergrad degree in the liberal arts (forgoing the basketball scholarships she received at less prestigious schools), then chose to move to one of the most expensive cities in the US after college, and was sadly disappointed the only high-paying job she could easily get as a new college grad in NYC was to be a nanny. And she was making good money as a nanny - around $100K/year! Yet, her lifestyle inflated with her money, and she felt entitled to luxury apartments at buildings with doormen, Pottery Barn furniture, and a purebred King Charles Spaniel puppy. I'm a few years older than Kiser, and I spent my 20s working a 60-hour/week job making around $20K/year in a purposely lower cost of living town, scrupulously couponing and saving, very rarely going out to eat, and living with cheap particle board Ikea furniture and hand-me-downs.
I don't think the extensive reflections on Kiser's childhood and family life were very helpful in the overall narrative. I felt uncomfortable on behalf of her family whose dirty laundry and sensitive topics she shared, and it came across as self-centered and demonstrating limited perspective on life. Like I say with almost all of my memoir reviews, the mark of a good memoir is in the growth and shift in perspectives the author demonstrates from a retrospective retelling of their lives. There are glimmers of that here, when Kiser realizes she's benefitting from white privilege and isn't the worst off in the COVID pandemic compared to many of her nanny cohort, but overall I don't think enough time, distance and maturation has passed from the events of Kiser's 20s to effectively write this memoir at this point in time.
My statistics:
Book 183 for 2024
Book 1786 cumulatively
April 2, 2024
A fascinating memoir about nannying for NYCs one percenters. Told with empathy and humor it shines a light on capitalism, society culture and the outsourcing of child care. Think if the nanny diaries was real.
The author is a fantastic narrator and it’s extremely readable. The author treats the parents with sympathy and clearly appreciates how impressive some of the women are and how much they love their children while also showcasing the at times bonkers reality of the world of the rich. The author is also open about her relative privilege compared to other care givers which I truly appreciated.
The author is a fantastic narrator and it’s extremely readable. The author treats the parents with sympathy and clearly appreciates how impressive some of the women are and how much they love their children while also showcasing the at times bonkers reality of the world of the rich. The author is also open about her relative privilege compared to other care givers which I truly appreciated.
August 2, 2024
The only reason this didn't get 5/5 stars from me is the writing itself. For the beginnings of some chapters, it took too long to get the context I needed in order to establish which point in Stephanie's timeline it was in. That was the ONLY issue I had with this book.
When it comes to social class, I've never read a non-fiction book written from such a unique perspective. Then, as I'd read each chapter I'd realize year-by-year how close in age I am with Stephanie - only to find out we are the same age. I was certain she was much older than me by the gravity and wisdom of her words.
Growing up I wasn't much of a babysitter and my only sibling is a half-brother who I unfortunately didn't/don't see often at all. Until having my own child, I was blind to the dualities of motherhood. I'm not even sure Stephanie knows it (I mean that as a comment, not patronizingly), but the insight she has into raising children and family dynamics from the caregiving angle are so far beyond anyone this age without children. If that's an unpopular opinion, I'm sorry - but as a mother there were portions of this book I've read that made me feel more validated than any book I've read by a biological, full-time caregiving mother. I got the sense that nannying makes the kids your coworkers as much as it makes them your boss, the outcome of your day relies largely on how the day of the children you're with goes. As a stay at home mom I face the same daily coin toss. I think finding those hard truths I identify so closely with in this book can be attributed to the degree of separation nannying provides; you're more likely to be frowned upon if you're overheard saying your kid sucks vs saying your coworker sucks. To have the domestic workload outlined so crisply is refreshing.
If you don't personally have children I think the insight Stephanie provides here will still be enlightening, whether that's on class differences or parenting styles. I recommend this book to any and everyone.
{Thank you bunches to NetGalley, Stephanie Kiser and publisher for this eARC in exchange for my honest review!}
When it comes to social class, I've never read a non-fiction book written from such a unique perspective. Then, as I'd read each chapter I'd realize year-by-year how close in age I am with Stephanie - only to find out we are the same age. I was certain she was much older than me by the gravity and wisdom of her words.
Growing up I wasn't much of a babysitter and my only sibling is a half-brother who I unfortunately didn't/don't see often at all. Until having my own child, I was blind to the dualities of motherhood. I'm not even sure Stephanie knows it (I mean that as a comment, not patronizingly), but the insight she has into raising children and family dynamics from the caregiving angle are so far beyond anyone this age without children. If that's an unpopular opinion, I'm sorry - but as a mother there were portions of this book I've read that made me feel more validated than any book I've read by a biological, full-time caregiving mother. I got the sense that nannying makes the kids your coworkers as much as it makes them your boss, the outcome of your day relies largely on how the day of the children you're with goes. As a stay at home mom I face the same daily coin toss. I think finding those hard truths I identify so closely with in this book can be attributed to the degree of separation nannying provides; you're more likely to be frowned upon if you're overheard saying your kid sucks vs saying your coworker sucks. To have the domestic workload outlined so crisply is refreshing.
If you don't personally have children I think the insight Stephanie provides here will still be enlightening, whether that's on class differences or parenting styles. I recommend this book to any and everyone.
{Thank you bunches to NetGalley, Stephanie Kiser and publisher for this eARC in exchange for my honest review!}
February 27, 2024
Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant
by Stephanie Kiser
1 star
I did not finish, I just could not tolerate it any longer. I was really looking forward to this book as it sounded fascinating. It's not. She comes off as mad at the world because her life didn't turn out like she expected it too.
Very passive-aggressive and exceedingly judgmental about others, which is surprising considering she was raised poor. She acts if she is too good for low income people, and she characterizes them as one giant stereotype, for example: they smell like smoke and are missing teeth. This is 9% into the book, too!
I do not recommend and I do not understand the positive reviews.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley.
by Stephanie Kiser
1 star
I did not finish, I just could not tolerate it any longer. I was really looking forward to this book as it sounded fascinating. It's not. She comes off as mad at the world because her life didn't turn out like she expected it too.
Very passive-aggressive and exceedingly judgmental about others, which is surprising considering she was raised poor. She acts if she is too good for low income people, and she characterizes them as one giant stereotype, for example: they smell like smoke and are missing teeth. This is 9% into the book, too!
I do not recommend and I do not understand the positive reviews.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley.
March 24, 2024
I FLEW through this book, truly so readable. Class is such a complicated topic and I feel like Steph really dug into it. I loved the ways in which the book went back and forth between time periods, showing the levels of poverty that Steph grew up in and then the next page focusing on the present where Steph makes 90k and lives in the Hamptons taking care of rich kids. There are so many layers to this experience and I feel like Steph articulated this really clearly. I also really appreciated how sarcastic and funny the writing was; there were some moments where I laughed out loud.
I went to high school with Steph and reading this book was really enlightening to me because even though I was middle class and also deeply overwhelmed by the wealth of our fellow classmates at our elite private school, Steph and I were still having tremendously different experiences at the school.
I went to high school with Steph and reading this book was really enlightening to me because even though I was middle class and also deeply overwhelmed by the wealth of our fellow classmates at our elite private school, Steph and I were still having tremendously different experiences at the school.
August 9, 2024
Reads like a long form people magazine article.
March 10, 2024
This was a book which I was greatly looking forward to based on its synopsis, and whilst I did enjoy it in parts it also felt a little flat overall.
I wasn't expecting so many retellings of Stephanie's childhood and the way these were interspersed amongst more recent happenings often broke the flow of the chapters. Her experiences growing up did however serve the purpose of highlighting how regardless of socioeconomic status, raising children still presents similar challenges.
The book did a good job of highlighting how racial and educational inequalities in household staff are seen and treated by the wealthy and rich in society. It was especially interesting to read how these differences became even worse (and downright horrendous in some cases) during Covid 19.
Overall, the book is insightful for individuals who aren't privy to that part of society and for that reason, I did find it an interesting read. But whilst Stephanie's prose is candid, it lacks the depth and reflectiveness that I expected to find, in light of the topics it voices.
I received an arc of this book for review via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review
I wasn't expecting so many retellings of Stephanie's childhood and the way these were interspersed amongst more recent happenings often broke the flow of the chapters. Her experiences growing up did however serve the purpose of highlighting how regardless of socioeconomic status, raising children still presents similar challenges.
The book did a good job of highlighting how racial and educational inequalities in household staff are seen and treated by the wealthy and rich in society. It was especially interesting to read how these differences became even worse (and downright horrendous in some cases) during Covid 19.
Overall, the book is insightful for individuals who aren't privy to that part of society and for that reason, I did find it an interesting read. But whilst Stephanie's prose is candid, it lacks the depth and reflectiveness that I expected to find, in light of the topics it voices.
I received an arc of this book for review via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review
July 18, 2024
I enjoyed this book, but it was not quite what I expected. Stephanie Kiser is a nanny to rich New York City families, and I expected more focus on just that aspect, but she spends a good deal of time delving back into her difficult childhood and comparing that to the world she sees her charges growing up in. It was a very insightful study and ponderance of how much of our success in life is shaped by our early environment and values. The only thing I found frustrating was how dismissive she was of nannying. She often talks about how it's a nothing job and it has no meaning. I think she may have absorbed some of the elitist perspective that a domestic job has no value. Those kids she loved and raised will probably always remember her. She had a big hand in helping shape lives - that holds immense value! Not a criticism of the book, just my pet peeve as a fellow former nanny.
Thank you to Sourcebooks and Netgalley for the arc - all opinions are my own.
Thank you to Sourcebooks and Netgalley for the arc - all opinions are my own.
August 26, 2024
Wanted: A daily confrontation with your traumas and reality check
I started reading this book thinking I was going to laugh nonstop and probably have moments in which I thought I couldn't believe people like this existed. Yes, those two things take place in the book; however, this is much more than that. If you have never worked in an environment that makes you confront your traumas, count yourself as a lucky human! This book is reflective and makes you think about inequality on many fronts.
It's an incredible journey reading the book, and it makes for the perfect weekend read; I had to put it down on day two for a family dinner, and I was pissed because I wanted to keep reading. That is how good this book is.
My favorite quotes are:
"Peace is a luxury I no longer take for granted."
"Growing up is hard, and accepting people for who they are is even harder."
"Dignity has no price tag."
"In Manhattan, having a therapist is a mark of success, wealth, and awareness. In poor neighborhoods, it can mean only one thing: you are crazy."
"Women needing validation from men is a universal problem that affects every class."
Please pick the book and enjoy the reading because if this book has something to teach us, it is that the outcome does not matter if you do not learn from the journey.
Thank you, NetGalley and Sourcebooks, for this ARC!
I started reading this book thinking I was going to laugh nonstop and probably have moments in which I thought I couldn't believe people like this existed. Yes, those two things take place in the book; however, this is much more than that. If you have never worked in an environment that makes you confront your traumas, count yourself as a lucky human! This book is reflective and makes you think about inequality on many fronts.
It's an incredible journey reading the book, and it makes for the perfect weekend read; I had to put it down on day two for a family dinner, and I was pissed because I wanted to keep reading. That is how good this book is.
My favorite quotes are:
"Peace is a luxury I no longer take for granted."
"Growing up is hard, and accepting people for who they are is even harder."
"Dignity has no price tag."
"In Manhattan, having a therapist is a mark of success, wealth, and awareness. In poor neighborhoods, it can mean only one thing: you are crazy."
"Women needing validation from men is a universal problem that affects every class."
Please pick the book and enjoy the reading because if this book has something to teach us, it is that the outcome does not matter if you do not learn from the journey.
Thank you, NetGalley and Sourcebooks, for this ARC!
August 3, 2024
Who doesn’t want a glimpse into the lives of the 1% as told by someone who has had an insider’s view into that lifestyle? With this premise, I was intrigued by the cleverly titled, Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant. The author, Stephanie Kiser, moves to New York City after her college graduation and finds she can’t afford the lifestyle she wants due to crippling student loan debt. The only position she can find to help her financially survive is nannying for the wealthy families that pervade the city. Against the backdrop of this experience, the author plays out her own disadvantaged upbringing in a working-class town outside of Providence. As with any memoir, its success comes down to the reliability and likability of the narrator, and while I found the stories about her employers and their exploits interesting and educational, I never really warmed up to the person telling the story.
What I took from Stephanie’s story is that her nannying experience wasn’t all good or all bad� just as with any cross-section of life there are the good, kind, and giving people, and the self-important, arrogant, nasty folks. I do think there was at least one chapter missing from this story as I think the book could have benefited from some self-awareness and self-reflection from the author. Her position in the story is that the game of life is rigged for the wealthy and the powerful—I don’t mention this as a means of debate whether for or against, but Stephanie never seems to consider how the choices she has made in her life up to this point (as told in the book) have affected the outcomes she has had to confront. As a high school student, she had the opportunity to play college basketball on scholarship at schools that may not have been the Ivy League but would have still provided her with a good education and less student loan debt. She decided she was finished with basketball at that point and chose instead to go to a junior college before attending Emerson College and majoring in writing for film and television. Emerson is one of the most expensive schools in the country and she majored in a subject area where it is notoriously difficult to find employment. To further compound her plight, she moves to New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the world, to chase her dream. I would have liked to see some hindsight perspective from her, realizing that you don’t have to major in writing to be a writer, that you can live anywhere and find creative people to help encourage and inspire artists of all kinds. I grew weary of the victim narrative she often invoked when so many of her problems were self-inflicted. I think her high school should have done a better job advising her about the long-term effects of her choices, but I doubt in her head-strong immaturity she would follow any advice that would try to talk her out of her determined path to immediate gratification. As someone who majored in writing for film and television, perhaps she can now identify with this iconic line from the film, Good Will Hunting: 'You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.' It is an expensive lesson, and by the end it’s evident that she still hasn't learned it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
What I took from Stephanie’s story is that her nannying experience wasn’t all good or all bad� just as with any cross-section of life there are the good, kind, and giving people, and the self-important, arrogant, nasty folks. I do think there was at least one chapter missing from this story as I think the book could have benefited from some self-awareness and self-reflection from the author. Her position in the story is that the game of life is rigged for the wealthy and the powerful—I don’t mention this as a means of debate whether for or against, but Stephanie never seems to consider how the choices she has made in her life up to this point (as told in the book) have affected the outcomes she has had to confront. As a high school student, she had the opportunity to play college basketball on scholarship at schools that may not have been the Ivy League but would have still provided her with a good education and less student loan debt. She decided she was finished with basketball at that point and chose instead to go to a junior college before attending Emerson College and majoring in writing for film and television. Emerson is one of the most expensive schools in the country and she majored in a subject area where it is notoriously difficult to find employment. To further compound her plight, she moves to New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the world, to chase her dream. I would have liked to see some hindsight perspective from her, realizing that you don’t have to major in writing to be a writer, that you can live anywhere and find creative people to help encourage and inspire artists of all kinds. I grew weary of the victim narrative she often invoked when so many of her problems were self-inflicted. I think her high school should have done a better job advising her about the long-term effects of her choices, but I doubt in her head-strong immaturity she would follow any advice that would try to talk her out of her determined path to immediate gratification. As someone who majored in writing for film and television, perhaps she can now identify with this iconic line from the film, Good Will Hunting: 'You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.' It is an expensive lesson, and by the end it’s evident that she still hasn't learned it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
August 9, 2024
What am I missing here? For me this book was whiny, boring and dragged on and on and on with a 'poor me' attitude...absolutely cannot understand what other readers found in it that was remotely interesting.
February 12, 2024
ARC for review. To be published August 6, 2024.
Stephanie Kiser moved to NYC to be a writer but her entry level salary just isn’t paying the bills. However, nannying for the richest of the rich will, so welcome to the upper East Side.
The salary and the perks don’t make up for the twelve hour days and the reality of what’s really happening in some of the households (not so much for Kiser, she gets lucky in 2 out of 3 of her placements) take the shine off the job.
Interesting book. There’s some fun name-dropping and lots of comparisons between the lives of the children she nannies and Kiser’s own life (they are very different.). I enjoyed this slice of life, despite the bad title. Recommended.
Stephanie Kiser moved to NYC to be a writer but her entry level salary just isn’t paying the bills. However, nannying for the richest of the rich will, so welcome to the upper East Side.
The salary and the perks don’t make up for the twelve hour days and the reality of what’s really happening in some of the households (not so much for Kiser, she gets lucky in 2 out of 3 of her placements) take the shine off the job.
Interesting book. There’s some fun name-dropping and lots of comparisons between the lives of the children she nannies and Kiser’s own life (they are very different.). I enjoyed this slice of life, despite the bad title. Recommended.
November 6, 2024
This was pretty amusing and as to be expected. It was no surprise how most "help" AKA nannies, maids, and chauffeurs are treated amongst the richest of our society. I felt the author was consistently unhappy no matter what her stakes in life were, and at some point you gotta look internally at yourself to see what needs to be worked on. Money certainly does not create happiness!
August 13, 2024
Stephanie Kiser moves to New York after college, hoping to make a career in writing and a life in the city of her dreams. But writing doesn’t pay the bills, so on her friend’s advice, she takes up nannying for the city’s elite. There she sees how the 1% lives, first with a reasonable family, but later with those with insane demands and incredibly lavish lifestyles.
As the subtitle indicates, the author shares her observation of how wealthy parents live in the context of her own upbringing. Once again, I didn’t read the summary thoroughly, because I was expecting something of an “exposé.� That’s there, but the chapters are sprinkled with memories from Kiser’s past. It took some getting used to, but after a while I understood what she was trying to do. It’s rough indeed: verbal abuse, poor education, near-poverty, mental illness. Doesn’t sound like fun.
The skill here comes in not devolving into self-pity. Instead, she shares her history to demonstrate how alien her situation was. The shock is evident, watching babies wear Prada and other name brands, only to spill grape juice on it all. The waste and the extravagance make her families a little crazy, and they pass on those actions and thoughts onto her. The kids are mostly fine, but unsurprisingly a little spoiled. That said, she develops fondness for her charges and learns about parenting.
Kiser also does a good job sharing her current personal challenges. She has an abortion, which changes her perspective and attitude. She finds it hard to relate to others and loses friends. And the demands of her job, one she never really chose, prevent her from moving onto better things. Sure, she makes a good salary, but she can’t pursue writing or find another job. She barely has time for herself, and she starts to question why she came to this city in the first place. She considers the meaning of money, of have/have not, and I liked her reflections on that topic.
As for equality, the most salient point is the heavy burden women bear in rearing children. Her views are based on solid evidence, watching the women in the families take on cleaning and changing diapers while the men do very little, even when both have jobs. In other matters of equality, it was enough for her to share the surprising lifestyles and expectations of the wealthy. Kiser’s style seems to rely too often on “tell, not show,� with a few blanket statements, but the book shines in the detail.
Good treatment of an interesting topic, mixed in with meaningful personal reflections. Absolutely recommended.
Many thanks to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review. was released August 6 and is available now.
As the subtitle indicates, the author shares her observation of how wealthy parents live in the context of her own upbringing. Once again, I didn’t read the summary thoroughly, because I was expecting something of an “exposé.� That’s there, but the chapters are sprinkled with memories from Kiser’s past. It took some getting used to, but after a while I understood what she was trying to do. It’s rough indeed: verbal abuse, poor education, near-poverty, mental illness. Doesn’t sound like fun.
The skill here comes in not devolving into self-pity. Instead, she shares her history to demonstrate how alien her situation was. The shock is evident, watching babies wear Prada and other name brands, only to spill grape juice on it all. The waste and the extravagance make her families a little crazy, and they pass on those actions and thoughts onto her. The kids are mostly fine, but unsurprisingly a little spoiled. That said, she develops fondness for her charges and learns about parenting.
Kiser also does a good job sharing her current personal challenges. She has an abortion, which changes her perspective and attitude. She finds it hard to relate to others and loses friends. And the demands of her job, one she never really chose, prevent her from moving onto better things. Sure, she makes a good salary, but she can’t pursue writing or find another job. She barely has time for herself, and she starts to question why she came to this city in the first place. She considers the meaning of money, of have/have not, and I liked her reflections on that topic.
As for equality, the most salient point is the heavy burden women bear in rearing children. Her views are based on solid evidence, watching the women in the families take on cleaning and changing diapers while the men do very little, even when both have jobs. In other matters of equality, it was enough for her to share the surprising lifestyles and expectations of the wealthy. Kiser’s style seems to rely too often on “tell, not show,� with a few blanket statements, but the book shines in the detail.
Good treatment of an interesting topic, mixed in with meaningful personal reflections. Absolutely recommended.
Many thanks to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review. was released August 6 and is available now.
August 20, 2024
A one-star book, to me, means that it was a waste of reading time. This book absolutely felt like that. It’s a nonfiction book written by a woman who grew up relatively poor and becomes a nanny for uber-wealthy families in NYC. The subtitle says that there should be commentary on upward mobility and motherhood but I honestly couldn’t find any of that in this book beyond trite platitudes about working wealthy moms not being taken seriously or the idea that the wealthy have a special coded language that sets you apart.
SO much of this book is backstory about the author’s childhood, which unfortunately just felt like her trying to prove that she grew up poor. I wish that the book included more stories about the differentiator of the book - her nannying experience. Overall, a big disappointment.
SO much of this book is backstory about the author’s childhood, which unfortunately just felt like her trying to prove that she grew up poor. I wish that the book included more stories about the differentiator of the book - her nannying experience. Overall, a big disappointment.
April 14, 2024
This was a lovely read about working for the uber-wealthy and the realizations came to while doing so. I found it a little hard to relate to the author at times as someone who’s experienced multidimensional oppression, but I do applaud the author for being honest about her journey realizing her privilege in America. Family, friends, and money are always complicated, so it is interesting to see how that manifests in the 1% (especially during the COVID-19 pandemic)!
Thank you NetGalley for this ARC!
Thank you NetGalley for this ARC!
May 24, 2024
“If I know one thing, it is that the old saying rings true: Money can’t buy happiness. Though I can absolutely see why you’d be temped to believe that it can get you pretty darned close.�
This is a fast-paced memoir, written from the first person perspective of a nanny in NYC. Chapters switch between Kiser’s present day life as a nanny for the rich and famous and flashbacks to her (very different, traumatic) childhood. Sometimes a book can feel clunky when it switches back and forth, but that wasn’t the case here - I equally loved both story lines!
What I didn’t love:
Kiser flaunts political opinions (that read as facts) throughout the book. She dives into abortion and pro-choice (with her own traumatic abortion experience included*), to racism and Black Lives Matter, to democrat/republican stances (she paints all republicans as ignorant and uninformed), to stay at home moms/working moms (the latter is better), to religion. Sometimes it seemed like she was pulling from a non significant experience to expound her political/social stances.
*I greatly appreciated her honesty in her writing about having her own abortion and the aftermath of it. In writing about her mindset afterwards she says, “I claimed to want to do better than my family, but I’d just made the exact same mistake my parents had. Only, unlike them, I was a coward. I didn’t face my mistake. I just eliminated it.� And goes on to question, “Was it my own mother who had stumbled through motherhood? Or was a bad mother the one too selfish to even give her child life?�
You’ll love this if you:
•want an inside scoop on being a nanny in NYC
•like rough & tumble memoirs, like The Glass Castle
TW: abortion, racism, mental health issues, attempted suicide
Thank you @netgalley for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own 🙂
This is a fast-paced memoir, written from the first person perspective of a nanny in NYC. Chapters switch between Kiser’s present day life as a nanny for the rich and famous and flashbacks to her (very different, traumatic) childhood. Sometimes a book can feel clunky when it switches back and forth, but that wasn’t the case here - I equally loved both story lines!
What I didn’t love:
Kiser flaunts political opinions (that read as facts) throughout the book. She dives into abortion and pro-choice (with her own traumatic abortion experience included*), to racism and Black Lives Matter, to democrat/republican stances (she paints all republicans as ignorant and uninformed), to stay at home moms/working moms (the latter is better), to religion. Sometimes it seemed like she was pulling from a non significant experience to expound her political/social stances.
*I greatly appreciated her honesty in her writing about having her own abortion and the aftermath of it. In writing about her mindset afterwards she says, “I claimed to want to do better than my family, but I’d just made the exact same mistake my parents had. Only, unlike them, I was a coward. I didn’t face my mistake. I just eliminated it.� And goes on to question, “Was it my own mother who had stumbled through motherhood? Or was a bad mother the one too selfish to even give her child life?�
You’ll love this if you:
•want an inside scoop on being a nanny in NYC
•like rough & tumble memoirs, like The Glass Castle
TW: abortion, racism, mental health issues, attempted suicide
Thank you @netgalley for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own 🙂
February 23, 2024
In this memoir Kiser dives into her upbringing being poor and needing money she starts nannying for the 1%.
It’s written very frankly and openly.
Besides describing what it’s like to work 12 hours or more a day, she also delves into the differences and similarities in her upbringing and the families.
The book is written well and is accessible and easy to read.
It is rough hearing how hard that job is, and also discovers her privilege as a white young woman often treated better than her POC fellow nannies.
It’s jarring how the rich treat their staff. Especially in the last bit of the book when Covid hit, and super rich families could have kept paying nannies but fired them.
I would definitely read other books by her.
It’s written very frankly and openly.
Besides describing what it’s like to work 12 hours or more a day, she also delves into the differences and similarities in her upbringing and the families.
The book is written well and is accessible and easy to read.
It is rough hearing how hard that job is, and also discovers her privilege as a white young woman often treated better than her POC fellow nannies.
It’s jarring how the rich treat their staff. Especially in the last bit of the book when Covid hit, and super rich families could have kept paying nannies but fired them.
I would definitely read other books by her.
July 21, 2024
Sadly, far less humor and far less interesting than I'd hoped given the subject matter. Fewer insights into the job or the people for whom the author worked than in other, similar books.
eARC provided by publisher via Edelweiss.
eARC provided by publisher via Edelweiss.
August 8, 2024
This is an intriguing peek into the life of a nanny to the wealthy families of NYC while trying to figure out her life and finances. This memoir is humorous and clever.
November 9, 2024
The Nanny Killer.
Stephanie Kiser is a college graduate, but she can’t find a job in her profession. She has her student loans to pay and unfortunately for her, when she finally finds a job in her profession she’s unable to find one that pays her what she needs to pay her bills.
So she gets the brilliant idea to become a nanny. Turns out, being a nanny pays her more than enough to pay her bills.
But, while being a nanny is supposed to be a temporary job, she ends up liking the job and she is good at it. She is a nanny to several families and she has become devoted to their children.
She is also running into celebrities and is impressed by their relationship with their children. She notices as a nanny that most women who work are responsible for the children and the husband is nowhere to be found. But most of the mothers don’t work outside the home.
Or should I say that they don’t work outside their homes. This is a story about nannying in New York City and everyone has a house in The Hamptons.
The children have play dates with each other and they all go to the same schools. They have the same extracurricular activities and the same bedtime. They socialize at the same parties and they all vacation together.
Stephanie Kiser says being white and a nanny is an exotic thing for the parents who are used to Asian or South American nannies. She is sometimes treated special because of who she is. Regardless of her race, she also has to work twelve hours a day just like the other nannies.
But she is definitely a good example of a great nanny and no one can take that from her. Still, what she secretly wants is to be a writer and she writes a book about her life. And what a wonderful life it is.
Five stars. 💫💫💫💫💫
Stephanie Kiser is a college graduate, but she can’t find a job in her profession. She has her student loans to pay and unfortunately for her, when she finally finds a job in her profession she’s unable to find one that pays her what she needs to pay her bills.
So she gets the brilliant idea to become a nanny. Turns out, being a nanny pays her more than enough to pay her bills.
But, while being a nanny is supposed to be a temporary job, she ends up liking the job and she is good at it. She is a nanny to several families and she has become devoted to their children.
She is also running into celebrities and is impressed by their relationship with their children. She notices as a nanny that most women who work are responsible for the children and the husband is nowhere to be found. But most of the mothers don’t work outside the home.
Or should I say that they don’t work outside their homes. This is a story about nannying in New York City and everyone has a house in The Hamptons.
The children have play dates with each other and they all go to the same schools. They have the same extracurricular activities and the same bedtime. They socialize at the same parties and they all vacation together.
Stephanie Kiser says being white and a nanny is an exotic thing for the parents who are used to Asian or South American nannies. She is sometimes treated special because of who she is. Regardless of her race, she also has to work twelve hours a day just like the other nannies.
But she is definitely a good example of a great nanny and no one can take that from her. Still, what she secretly wants is to be a writer and she writes a book about her life. And what a wonderful life it is.
Five stars. 💫💫💫💫💫
November 13, 2024
Ugh. As a nanny I understand where she’s coming from, but the book was 300 pages of pure resentment. It didn’t paint anyone in a good light, especially herself. She completely bashed the nannying profession and acted as if she weren’t doing anything important.
The only interesting aspects of this book were her comparisons as a white woman to the nanny’s in her circle who were poc. She was VERY open about coming from a conservative family and holding racist views until she made a rather unconvincing argument that she had become a liberal after reading one book. Also! Also! This is the reality for so many Americans. They do jobs that they don’t like or aren’t their “dream jobs,� but they support their family and make sacrifices. I’m sorry she didn’t like to nanny and was addicted to the money, but she had an opportunity to do what she wanted to do, live where she wanted to live and get on her feet. And it allowed her to do what she really wanted to do—write!
Clearly she had some warped perspective on what she “should have� been doing her twenties.
The only interesting aspects of this book were her comparisons as a white woman to the nanny’s in her circle who were poc. She was VERY open about coming from a conservative family and holding racist views until she made a rather unconvincing argument that she had become a liberal after reading one book. Also! Also! This is the reality for so many Americans. They do jobs that they don’t like or aren’t their “dream jobs,� but they support their family and make sacrifices. I’m sorry she didn’t like to nanny and was addicted to the money, but she had an opportunity to do what she wanted to do, live where she wanted to live and get on her feet. And it allowed her to do what she really wanted to do—write!
Clearly she had some warped perspective on what she “should have� been doing her twenties.
Read
January 6, 2025The narration on this is rough. I hate to say this, but I can’t recommend the audio. The author is speaking maybe too fast? She is stumbling over words and putting pauses in odd places. I can’t�
I’ll look for the hardcover. DNF
I’ll look for the hardcover. DNF
August 26, 2024
What would it be like to be a (white, young) nanny for the ultra-wealthy? Stephanie Kiser worked as a nanny for a number of families in NYC after graduating from college. She got to see how these families live, how they discipline, feed, and educate their kids, and how they treat their staff. I found this to be a fascinating look into the world of wealth by a young woman who worked extraordinarily hard in an often thankless job, yet had real affection for the children she managed. A most interesting book!
August 7, 2024
Stephanie Kiser moves to New York to be a writer. Instead, she becomes a nanny. The first in her family to go to college, she is nearly bankrupted by sizable education loans so the salaries offered by desperate city parents (six figure salaries, healthcare, vacations etc) are tempting. Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant describes several nannying jobs Stephanie held, detailing job responsibilities, the likeability of her small charges and the behavior of their one percenter parents.
That story has been done before. What makes Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant a captivating read are the contrasts between Stephanie’s early experiences and that of her employers. For instance, she notes the a yard full of cars in her Rhode Island hometown means poverty but in the Hamptons, having multiple cars in a driveway is a sign of wealth. She has left behind a home full of screaming arguments to enter a world of soft spoken families. Her childhood was full of struggles with both her weight and her grades in school. She wonders what her life would have been like if she were one of her charges. She never had designer clothes, lessons and after school activities. She never went to a private school nor was assured a legacy place at an Ivy League college. As she works for wealthy families, she discovers herself. She questions her beliefs, she reads to fill gaps in her learning and she becomes a writer at last. 5 stars to you, Stephanie.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sourcebooks and Stephanie Kiser for this ARC.
That story has been done before. What makes Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant a captivating read are the contrasts between Stephanie’s early experiences and that of her employers. For instance, she notes the a yard full of cars in her Rhode Island hometown means poverty but in the Hamptons, having multiple cars in a driveway is a sign of wealth. She has left behind a home full of screaming arguments to enter a world of soft spoken families. Her childhood was full of struggles with both her weight and her grades in school. She wonders what her life would have been like if she were one of her charges. She never had designer clothes, lessons and after school activities. She never went to a private school nor was assured a legacy place at an Ivy League college. As she works for wealthy families, she discovers herself. She questions her beliefs, she reads to fill gaps in her learning and she becomes a writer at last. 5 stars to you, Stephanie.
Thank you to NetGalley, Sourcebooks and Stephanie Kiser for this ARC.
February 23, 2024
I flew through this one - maybe because I felt like I related to part of Stephanie’s memoir. I kept flipping through the pages curious what would happen next. The best part about this memoir is that it gives us a glimpse into two completely different worlds - the world of Upper East Side nannies and the world of working class paycheck to paycheck families. Stephanie straddles both. And yet she acknowledges that she is able to excell in the nanny circle due to some of her own privileges - being white and college educated. There’s definitely some social commentary here and a lot about why our education system and value system is corrupt. The debt from college is what plunges Stephanie into the nannying world anyway, because her liberal arts degree pushes her into entry level jobs in NYC that she can’t pay rent, her student loans and still be able to feed herself. There are also lots of tender moments here where we see her familial past as well as her relationship with the families she nannies for. I really enjoyed this and could see it becoming a talked about book like Educated. I’m glad Stephanie finally achieved her dream of breaking into writing!
Thanks to Netgalley, Sourcebooks and Stephanie Kiser for the ARC.
Thanks to Netgalley, Sourcebooks and Stephanie Kiser for the ARC.
May 30, 2024
RATING: 4/5 STARS
I did not realize the life of a New York City nanny to the children of the rich was something I was curious about until I stumbled upon a review on social media that had me immediately requesting this book. WANTED: TODDLER"S PERSONAL ASSISTANT was a well-written narrative of Stephanie Kiser's inadvertent career in a niche field. The stories she told were incredibly interesting, and managed an overarching self-awareness that can be tricky in memoirs - sharing just enough that the reader gets juicy details but avoiding creating villains or martyrs. The path Kiser decided to carve in this book, juxtaposing her own childhood in relative poverty with the opulent luxuries afforded to the children she took care of, made this story vivid and gripping. She also shed light on the bias against workers of color who did not have American higher education, acknowledging her position of privilege in comparison. I recommend this book for anyone who has wondered about the lives of NYC's elite and the people behind the scenes (definitely paints a different picture than Dorota in Gossip Girl)! This book also had some interesting insights that related to childhood psychology, parenting, and wealth.
I did not realize the life of a New York City nanny to the children of the rich was something I was curious about until I stumbled upon a review on social media that had me immediately requesting this book. WANTED: TODDLER"S PERSONAL ASSISTANT was a well-written narrative of Stephanie Kiser's inadvertent career in a niche field. The stories she told were incredibly interesting, and managed an overarching self-awareness that can be tricky in memoirs - sharing just enough that the reader gets juicy details but avoiding creating villains or martyrs. The path Kiser decided to carve in this book, juxtaposing her own childhood in relative poverty with the opulent luxuries afforded to the children she took care of, made this story vivid and gripping. She also shed light on the bias against workers of color who did not have American higher education, acknowledging her position of privilege in comparison. I recommend this book for anyone who has wondered about the lives of NYC's elite and the people behind the scenes (definitely paints a different picture than Dorota in Gossip Girl)! This book also had some interesting insights that related to childhood psychology, parenting, and wealth.
October 3, 2024
i don't know how i feel about this book other than disappointed
January 8, 2025
Okaaaay this hooked me! Stephanie Kiser recounts her experience as a nanny for various Upper East Side families in New York City. She shared so many wild stories to share that I loved getting to read about. Some of the strongest parts of the book were when she contrasted the lives of her wealthy nanny families with her own experience growing up in poverty. Her observations were so on point. Definitely recommend!
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