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Stephanie Kiser moves to New York after college, hoping to make a career in writing and a life in the city of her dreams. But writing doesn’t pay the bills, so on her friend’s advice, she takes up nannying for the city’s elite. There she sees how the 1% lives, first with a reasonable family, but later with those with insane demands and incredibly lavish lifestyles.



As the subtitle indicates, the author shares her observation of how wealthy parents live in the context of her own upbringing. Once again, I didn’t read the summary thoroughly, because I was expecting something of an “exposé.� That’s there, but the chapters are sprinkled with memories from Kiser’s past. It took some getting used to, but after a while I understood what she was trying to do. It’s rough indeed: verbal abuse, poor education, near-poverty, mental illness. Doesn’t sound like fun.

The skill here comes in not devolving into self-pity. Instead, she shares her history to demonstrate how alien her situation was. The shock is evident, watching babies wear Prada and other name brands, only to spill grape juice on it all. The waste and the extravagance make her families a little crazy, and they pass on those actions and thoughts onto her. The kids are mostly fine, but unsurprisingly a little spoiled. That said, she develops fondness for her charges and learns about parenting.

Kiser also does a good job sharing her current personal challenges. She has an abortion, which changes her perspective and attitude. She finds it hard to relate to others and loses friends. And the demands of her job, one she never really chose, prevent her from moving onto better things. Sure, she makes a good salary, but she can’t pursue writing or find another job. She barely has time for herself, and she starts to question why she came to this city in the first place. She considers the meaning of money, of have/have not, and I liked her reflections on that topic.

As for equality, the most salient point is the heavy burden women bear in rearing children. Her views are based on solid evidence, watching the women in the families take on cleaning and changing diapers while the men do very little, even when both have jobs. In other matters of equality, it was enough for her to share the surprising lifestyles and expectations of the wealthy. Kiser’s style seems to rely too often on “tell, not show,� with a few blanket statements, but the book shines in the detail.

Good treatment of an interesting topic, mixed in with meaningful personal reflections. Absolutely recommended.

Many thanks to Sourcebooks and NetGalley for a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review. Wanted: Toddler's Personal Assistant was released August 6 and is available now.