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111 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1848
鈥�Because at moments like that I start to think that I am incapable of living a proper life, I seem already to have lost any sort of judgment, any apprehension of the real and actual; because after all, I have cursed my very self; because after my nights of fantasy come moments of sobriety which are appalling鈥fter all one matures, outgrows one鈥檚 former ideals: they are shattered into dust and fragments; and if you have no other life, it behooves you to construct one from those same fragments.鈥�
鈥�But to imagine that I should bear you a grudge, Nastenka! That I should cast a dark cloud over your serene, untroubled happiness; that by my bitter reproaches I should cause distress to your heart, should poison it with secret remorse and should force it to throb with anguish at the moment of bliss; that I should crush a single one of those tender blossoms which you have twined in your dark tresses when you go with him to the altar鈥�. Oh never, never! May your sky be clear, may your sweet smile be bright and untroubled, and may you be blessed for that moment of blissful happiness which you gave to another, lonely and grateful heart!鈥�
A strange anguish had tormented me since early morning. I suddenly had the impression that I had been left all alone, that everyone was shrinking away from me, avoiding me.
鈥淭here are, my dear Nastenka, in case you don鈥檛 know, some rather strange corners in Petersburg. It鈥檚 as if the sun that warms the rest of the city never shines on them, and instead another sun, especially designed for them, supplies them with a different light. In those corners, Nastenka, a life goes on quite unlike the one seething around us, a life that is possible in some far-away dreamland but certainly not here in our over-serious time. That life is a mixture of something out of pure fantasy ardently idealistic, with, alas, something bleak and dull and ordinary, not to say outright vulgar.鈥�
鈥淎nd how effortlessly, how naturally the dreamer鈥檚 world of fantasy springs up! It looks so real and not at all like a mirage! In fact, sometimes he almost believes that his dream life is no figment of the imagination, no self-deception, no delusion, but something real, actual, existing.鈥�
賱丕 鬲孬賯 兀亘丿丕 賮賷 賰賱丕賲 丕賱賲乇兀丞 毓賳丿 丕賱睾囟亘 兀賵 丕賱賮乇丨 兀賵 丕賱丨丕噩賴 兀賵 丕賱鬲毓亘 兀賵 丕賱賲賱賱 兀賵 丕賱爻賮乇 兀賵 丕賱賭 ..... 廿賳鬲 賮丕囟賷 賵 丕賱丕 賵乇丕賰 丨丕噩賴 :)
爻賵賮 鬲賱賴賵 亘賳丕 丕賱丨賷丕丞 賵 鬲爻禺乇
賮鬲毓丕賱 兀丨亘賰 丕賱兀賳 兀賰孬乇
"賳卮毓乇 亘兀賱賲 丕賱丌禺乇賷賳 卮毓賵乇賸丕 兀毓賲賯 丨賷賳 賳賰賵賳 兀卮賯賷丕亍 賲毓匕亘賷賳"
"賱丨馗丞 亘兀賰賲賱賴丕 賲賳 丕賱爻毓丕丿丞... 乇亘丕賴! 賴賱 鬲丨鬲丕噩 丨賷丕丞 廿賳爻丕賳 廿賱賶 兀賰孬乇 賲賳 賴匕丕責"
鈥渂ut how could you live and have no story to tell?鈥�
鈥渋 am a dreamer. i know so little of real life that i just can鈥檛 help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something i have very rarely experienced. i am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year.鈥�
鈥渕y God, a moment of bliss. why, isn't that enough for a whole lifetime?鈥�