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395 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1992
鈥淲itches can generally come to terms with what actually is, instead of insisting on what ought to be.鈥�As anyone who knows me can attest to, I tend to gush over Pratchett's books, with all his wit and wisdom and the ability to create incredibly clever and very serious humor rooted in uncomfortably deep understanding of human mind.
鈥淧ersonal鈥檚 not the same as important. People just think it is.鈥�Lords and Ladies of the Lancre Witches subcycle of the Discworld books was the first Pratchett Witches book I've read a few years ago (I tended to read them out of order, whichever one the library happened to have in stock) and the book that immediately sealed my love for Granny Weatherwax and Co.
鈥淥ther people would probably say: I wasn鈥檛 myself. But Granny Weatherwax didn鈥檛 have anyone else to be.鈥�Esme Weatherwax is a capital-W witch who knows that witching is far more than magic and power. She knows that the place where she lives is HERS, with all the responsibilities that stem from it. She knows that you don't need to be nice or loved or admired to be good at what you do. And she knows very well, with self-assurance that is prone to sometimes slide into a bit of arrogance, that crossing her is not something to be taken lightly. Does she have regrets about her life? Perhaps, to a point. But her core of steel, the Iron-in-her-Heart goes deep, even when she was just a young woman always a step ahead of a pursuing young man. Esme Weatherwax was always her own self, always knowing who she is.
鈥淏ut what we have here is not a nice girl, as generally understood [...] Also, there鈥檚 a certain glint in her eye generally possessed by those people who have found that they are more intelligent than most people around them but who haven鈥檛 yet learned that one of the most intelligent things they can do is prevent said people ever finding this out.鈥�
鈥淵ou mean you weren鈥檛 Chosen?鈥�And assure that in the midst of all of it that you know exactly who and why you are.
鈥淢e? No. I chose,鈥� said Granny [...] 鈥淚 chose, Gytha Ogg. And I want that you should know this right now. Whatever happens. I ain鈥檛 never regretted anything. Never regretted one single thing. Right?鈥�
鈥淭here was a mind moving around in the kingdom, and Granny Weatherwax didn鈥檛 understand it.鈥�It's that time again where boundaries between universes - both parallel and parasite - are becoming thin and crop circles are forming everywhere, and a ring of ancient iron-loving stones is not enough to contain the titular Lords and Ladies (the Elves, decidedly not glamorously-Tolkienesque).
鈥淓lves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvelous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.鈥�
鈥淲hen he鈥檇 gone, Nanny climbed up on the same table.I love this book. I love how Pratchett's writing never ceases to amaze me. I love how no matter how tired, exhausted or deeply stressed I am all I need to feel better is to curl up with a book like this and have Granny Weatherwax sort the world out into what she knows it's supposed to be.
鈥淲ell,鈥� she said, 鈥渋t鈥檚 like this. If you go out there you may have to face elves. But if you stops here, you definitely have to face me. Now, elves is worse than me, I鈥檒l admit. But I鈥檓 persistent.鈥�
鈥淕ranny, her voice still quite calm and level. 鈥淏ut this is a real world, madam. That鈥檚 what I had to learn. And real people in it. You got no right to 鈥檈m. People鈥檝e got enough to cope with just being people. They don鈥檛 need you swanking around with your shiny hair and shiny eyes and shiny gold, going sideways through life, always young, always singing, never learning.鈥�
鈥淵ou didn鈥檛 always think like this.鈥�
鈥淭hat was a long time ago. And, my lady, old I may be, and hag I may be, but stupid I ain鈥檛. You鈥檙e no kind of goddess. I ain鈥檛 against gods and goddesses, in their place. But they鈥檝e got to be the ones we make ourselves. Then we can take 鈥檈m to bits for the parts when we don鈥檛 need 鈥檈m anymore, see? And elves far away in fairyland, well, maybe that鈥檚 something people need to get 鈥檈mselves through the iron times. But I ain鈥檛 having elves here. You make us want what we can鈥檛 have and what you give us is worth nothing and what you take is everything and all there is left for us is the cold hillside, and emptiness, and the laughter of the elves.鈥�
She took a deep breath. 鈥淪o bugger off.鈥�
'Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.The jolt I got from that hart-stopping moment near the end was enough to save this story.
Elves are marvelous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.'
INTRODUCING DISCWORLD鈥� The Discworld novels can be read in any order, ...is no exception. A few pages later, though, has inserted a contradictory Author's Note:
By and large, most Discworld books have stood by themselves, as complete books. It helps to have read them in some kind of order, but it鈥檚 not essential. This one is different. I can鈥檛 ignore the history of what has gone before...Indeed, would be an incomplete and confusing story to the na茂ve reader who took seriously 's claim that the Discworld novels can be read in any order. You really need to know who Granny Weatherwax and Magrat Garlick are. (You could pick up everything you need to know about Nanny Ogg on the fly -- she's the comic relief.)
Nanny Ogg winked at Magrat.Granny and Magrat are not, actually, the acknowledged subject of . It's ostensibly a story about elves. Indeed, the phrase "lords and ladies" is a euphemism for "elves," used to avoid speaking their name. The elves of the Discworld are wicked and terrifying. This, in fact, is in line with the old folkloric understanding of elves and fae. The German word for "nightmare," "," literally means elf-dream. The fae were seen, not so much as wicked, as immensely powerful and utterly terrifying.
鈥榊ou did well there, girl. Didn鈥檛 think you had it in you to survive an attack like that. It fairly had me widdling myself.鈥�
鈥業鈥檝e had practice,鈥� said Magrat darkly.