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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
欧宝娱乐 Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2022)鈥淗i, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.鈥�
So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.
In an extraordinary story that only he could tell鈥攁nd in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it鈥擬atthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he鈥檚 found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening鈥攁s well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.
So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.
In an extraordinary story that only he could tell鈥攁nd in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it鈥擬atthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he鈥檚 found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening鈥攁s well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.
250 pages, Hardcover
First published November 1, 2022
22625 people are currently reading
186172 people want to read
About the author
Matthew Perry
3听books784听followersMatthew Perry was an American-Canadian actor, comedian and producer. He gained international recognition in the 1990s for playing Chandler Bing on the NBC television sitcom Friends (1994鈥�2004), and earned a Screen Actors Guild Award for the role.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40,019 reviews
September 14, 2024
In a Nutshell: An exposition of the actor鈥檚 experiences with FRIENDS, lovers, and the 鈥楤ig Terrible Thing鈥� 鈥� his battle with alcohol and drug addiction. Honest to the point of being disconcerting. Dark and disturbing. Poorly edited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Editing to add:
28th October 2023: A dark day for FRIENDS fans. 馃槩馃挃
Rest in peace, Matthew. No more do you have to fight the demons that troubled you throughout your life. Thank you for all the laughs! I hope you can finally see from wherever you are right now how many people loved you. You will be missed. 鉂わ笍
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#LongReviewAlert!
鈥淚鈥檓 hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!鈥�
If you are a FRIENDS fan, you know who said the above line 鈥� Chandler Bing, known in real life as Matthew Perry. Chandler won millions of hearts with his bumbling portrayal of a man who stumbles his way through mishaps and breakups, until he meets the love of his life, Monica Geller. His biggest weapon is his sardonic sense of humour, often self-deprecating but also endearing.
All FRIENDS fans know that there is a lot of Matthew Perry in Chandler Bing, but just to what extent is revealed in this memoir. Imagine a Chandler without a Monica in his life 鈥� striving since childhood for his parents鈥� attention, successful in his career and yet unfulfilled in his personal life, going from woman to woman without a single meaningful relationship, joking his way around awkward situations, having friends in his life and yet not feeling enough or loved,... Add in substance and alcohol abuse, and what you get is Matthew Perry.
I have given up on celebrity memoirs long ago. But I knew I would read this for two main reasons:
1. For Chandler, for allowing me some of the happiest and the funniest and the most endearing moments on television. (Chandler was鈥攁nd still is, even after this memoir鈥攎y favourite character on FRIENDS.)
2. For FRIENDS, the show I have watched umpteen times, and will still watch when I get a chance.
But there was a third reason too, albeit a relatively minor one. I wanted to know why such a talented and beloved TV star lost his way into the labyrinth of alcohol and drugs to such an extent. This factor gets the maximum focus in the book, and it is devastating to read.
The prologue begins right into the deep end of Pain (with a capitalised 鈥楶鈥�) and pulls you within the intensity of Perry鈥檚 trauma without allowing you breathing space. Most of the memoir is disturbing, either because of the extent of Perry鈥檚 substance dependency and his myriad health scares, or because of his approach towards women, which seems to be that of a womaniser who is mostly blind to his flawed approach, calling it a need for love. (His attitude seems to be more philogynistic than misogynistic. He loves women too much, and definitely not for the right reasons.)
The book doesn鈥檛 go chronologically. Perry goes back and forth a multitude of times, sometimes using almost a stream-of-consciousness approach towards spilling his feelings out. This works mostly against the book. It is tough to keep track of the timeline at times. But more importantly, this approach allows some repetitive content without the author鈥檚 seeming to have realised it.
(This lack of linearity is one reason why I feel the book wont work that well on audio, though it is narrated by Perry himself. Plus, I think his current slurred speech, a result of all that his body has battled over the years, will break my Chandler-loving heart.)
In many ways, this book is a typical celebrity memoir 鈥� the focus is on 鈥業, me, myself.鈥� However, unlike almost all celebrity memoirs, there are no pretensions in this one, nothing on the lines of 鈥業 never considered myself talented/handsome鈥� or 鈥業 never expected to be so successful.鈥� Perry acknowledges that he is good-looking and rich without getting defensive or proud about it. His comfort with his attractiveness might rub some off as vanity. But hey, he IS attractive, and isn't fake-humble about it as so many celebs are. Shouldn't that be considered a plus point? He also mentions his wealth and his grand houses with amazing ocean/valley views a multitude of times. Rather than being put off by it, I was struck by the thought underlying his declarations 鈥� that even the best of material lifestyles hasn鈥檛 afforded him the happiest of lives. As he says, 鈥淚 would give up all the money, all the fame, all the stuff, to live in a rent-controlled apartment鈥擨鈥檇 trade being worried about money all the time to not have this disease, this addiction.鈥�
In fact, this entire book comes off as too honest, which isn鈥檛 something I have ever said for any celeb memoir. I've heard of the phrase 鈥榥o holds barred鈥�, but this is the first time I've read a memoir that FELT that way. He doesn鈥檛 seem to spare anyone, including himself. He is not defensive but matter-of-fact about his mistakes, both in life choices and relationship choices. His sarcastic humour is quite visible, though the book isn鈥檛 鈥榝unny鈥� as a whole. There are some revelations I wish I had rather not known. I don鈥檛 think I鈥檒l be able to watch FRIENDS the same way again because I鈥檒l keep picturing the Perry behind the Bing.
Did he write this memoir as some kind of therapeutic venting? Or as a strong red signal to anyone on the same path of self-destruction? I have no idea. But one thing is for sure: it isn鈥檛 easy to read. Perry鈥檚 writing reveals how much his mind has struggled with the diseases of alcoholism and addiction. Just take a look at some of his thoughts:
Basically, keep the title in mind to know what you will get from the book: there鈥檚 info on FRIENDS, a lot more about his 鈥楲overs鈥�, and a whole lot more about the 鈥楤ig Terrible Thing鈥� that has ruined his life. The content about Chandler and FRIENDS is quite limited, not more than a couple of chapters, so about 18-20% of the book. (Needless to say, these were my favourite sections from the book.) Of course, this wasn鈥檛 supposed to be a detailed look at FRIENDS or Chandler, but then, we FRIENDS fans can never have enough of the show.
This book also goes to show how important it is to treat our body well throughout our adulthood, not just past the age of forty. Perry鈥檚 youthful body had helped him as much as it could despite the way he kept abusing it. But there鈥檚 a limit to how much a body can take. When a man in his early fifties reveals how many surgeries he has had and needs to have, how many times he has narrowly escaped death, how his front teeth simply cracked and shattered, you will be horrified at how a person could do so much harm to himself and still be alive. If there is one huge advantage of the book, it would be to show those battling the same issues, the extent of the harm possible, and that they can overcome it, though the struggle for sobriety is going to be a lifelong one.
On an aside: The foreword by Lisa Kudrow is just okay. Some lines are good but it doesn't feel touching. The writing feels like she felt compelled to pen it. It鈥檚 also too short. I expected a lot more from talented Lisa.
Now for the major shortcomings:
馃挃 The book could have done with a huge round of editing; there鈥檚 a fair amount of repetition. In one chapter of the book, Perry acknowledges that he wasn鈥檛 called out by his movie team over his open hangovers and unprofessional behaviour simply because he was the star. I think history has repeated itself; either his editing team felt too awkward about pointing writing mistakes to their star, or they were simply too confident that celeb fans won鈥檛 bother about writing issues.
馃挃 The 鈥楰eanu鈥� controversy:
You might have heard that Perry wonders, in the book, why 鈥楰eanu Reeves still lives鈥�.
Does Perry actually say this? Yes. Twice!
Is it meant to be a joke? So he says, but it doesn鈥檛 really come off as a joke. However, as anyone with a sense of humour knows, jokes sometimes sound funnier in our head than in actuality. Perry must have thought he was cracking a good one-liner, but it falls horribly flat. The blame for this goof lies not just on Perry鈥檚 shoulders but also to the team of editors for not pointing it out. I guess some people knew controversies bring in more eyeballs.
Perry has since apologised for the references, but it鈥檚 a bit too late. Such comments shouldn鈥檛 have been part of a published work in the first place.
( Update: April 2023: Perry has again apologised for the mention of Keanu Reeves, and admitted that it was a stupid thing to do. He has also confirmed that the reference will be omitted from future editions. Well, better late than never! )
On the whole, this book ends up in the 鈥淚 liked it鈥� category. It offered me some new insights into FRIENDS, which I never thought possible. It showed me how Sisyphean can it be to get rid of addictions. It also reassured me that celebs can be honest in their memoirs if they wish to. At the same time, a small part of me regrets this read. Gone is the Chandler Bing I adored, showing me the cracked (in both its meanings) Matthew Perry underneath. It is going to spoil some of my FRIENDS memories, and I am going to do my best to forget that part of this book. But one thing is for sure - as always, I will be rooting for Matthew Perry to stay clean and put this addiction behind him once and for all.
3 stars.
Note: Some reviewers are bashing the book for the life choices made by Perry and his narcissistic and misogynistic comments. However, it is important to keep in mind while reading memoirs and autobiographies that we are reviewing the book and not the person. My review pertains to the book. If you have a problem with Perry the person, please go spew your hate somewhere else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The below was my original 鈥渞eview鈥� here on 欧宝娱乐, posted on the very day that Perry announced the upcoming release of this book. Proof of how excited I had been to grab it. I look back at that na茂ve version of myself with a tinge of sadness and regret.
Feb 11th, 2022:
Oh. My. God! Could I BE more thrilled about this? 馃槏馃槏馃槏
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Editing to add:
28th October 2023: A dark day for FRIENDS fans. 馃槩馃挃
Rest in peace, Matthew. No more do you have to fight the demons that troubled you throughout your life. Thank you for all the laughs! I hope you can finally see from wherever you are right now how many people loved you. You will be missed. 鉂わ笍
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#LongReviewAlert!
鈥淚鈥檓 hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!鈥�
If you are a FRIENDS fan, you know who said the above line 鈥� Chandler Bing, known in real life as Matthew Perry. Chandler won millions of hearts with his bumbling portrayal of a man who stumbles his way through mishaps and breakups, until he meets the love of his life, Monica Geller. His biggest weapon is his sardonic sense of humour, often self-deprecating but also endearing.
All FRIENDS fans know that there is a lot of Matthew Perry in Chandler Bing, but just to what extent is revealed in this memoir. Imagine a Chandler without a Monica in his life 鈥� striving since childhood for his parents鈥� attention, successful in his career and yet unfulfilled in his personal life, going from woman to woman without a single meaningful relationship, joking his way around awkward situations, having friends in his life and yet not feeling enough or loved,... Add in substance and alcohol abuse, and what you get is Matthew Perry.
I have given up on celebrity memoirs long ago. But I knew I would read this for two main reasons:
1. For Chandler, for allowing me some of the happiest and the funniest and the most endearing moments on television. (Chandler was鈥攁nd still is, even after this memoir鈥攎y favourite character on FRIENDS.)
2. For FRIENDS, the show I have watched umpteen times, and will still watch when I get a chance.
But there was a third reason too, albeit a relatively minor one. I wanted to know why such a talented and beloved TV star lost his way into the labyrinth of alcohol and drugs to such an extent. This factor gets the maximum focus in the book, and it is devastating to read.
The prologue begins right into the deep end of Pain (with a capitalised 鈥楶鈥�) and pulls you within the intensity of Perry鈥檚 trauma without allowing you breathing space. Most of the memoir is disturbing, either because of the extent of Perry鈥檚 substance dependency and his myriad health scares, or because of his approach towards women, which seems to be that of a womaniser who is mostly blind to his flawed approach, calling it a need for love. (His attitude seems to be more philogynistic than misogynistic. He loves women too much, and definitely not for the right reasons.)
The book doesn鈥檛 go chronologically. Perry goes back and forth a multitude of times, sometimes using almost a stream-of-consciousness approach towards spilling his feelings out. This works mostly against the book. It is tough to keep track of the timeline at times. But more importantly, this approach allows some repetitive content without the author鈥檚 seeming to have realised it.
(This lack of linearity is one reason why I feel the book wont work that well on audio, though it is narrated by Perry himself. Plus, I think his current slurred speech, a result of all that his body has battled over the years, will break my Chandler-loving heart.)
In many ways, this book is a typical celebrity memoir 鈥� the focus is on 鈥業, me, myself.鈥� However, unlike almost all celebrity memoirs, there are no pretensions in this one, nothing on the lines of 鈥業 never considered myself talented/handsome鈥� or 鈥業 never expected to be so successful.鈥� Perry acknowledges that he is good-looking and rich without getting defensive or proud about it. His comfort with his attractiveness might rub some off as vanity. But hey, he IS attractive, and isn't fake-humble about it as so many celebs are. Shouldn't that be considered a plus point? He also mentions his wealth and his grand houses with amazing ocean/valley views a multitude of times. Rather than being put off by it, I was struck by the thought underlying his declarations 鈥� that even the best of material lifestyles hasn鈥檛 afforded him the happiest of lives. As he says, 鈥淚 would give up all the money, all the fame, all the stuff, to live in a rent-controlled apartment鈥擨鈥檇 trade being worried about money all the time to not have this disease, this addiction.鈥�
In fact, this entire book comes off as too honest, which isn鈥檛 something I have ever said for any celeb memoir. I've heard of the phrase 鈥榥o holds barred鈥�, but this is the first time I've read a memoir that FELT that way. He doesn鈥檛 seem to spare anyone, including himself. He is not defensive but matter-of-fact about his mistakes, both in life choices and relationship choices. His sarcastic humour is quite visible, though the book isn鈥檛 鈥榝unny鈥� as a whole. There are some revelations I wish I had rather not known. I don鈥檛 think I鈥檒l be able to watch FRIENDS the same way again because I鈥檒l keep picturing the Perry behind the Bing.
Did he write this memoir as some kind of therapeutic venting? Or as a strong red signal to anyone on the same path of self-destruction? I have no idea. But one thing is for sure: it isn鈥檛 easy to read. Perry鈥檚 writing reveals how much his mind has struggled with the diseases of alcoholism and addiction. Just take a look at some of his thoughts:
- 鈥淚f I drop my game, my Chandler, and show you who I really am, you might notice me, but worse, you might notice me and leave me. And I can鈥檛 have that. I won鈥檛 survive that.鈥�
- 鈥淚 was so often just a tourist in sobriety.鈥�
- 鈥淔or a long time, I tried to find just about anything and anybody to blame for the mess I kept finding myself in.鈥�
- 鈥淵ou can consider what you鈥檙e about to read to be a message from the beyond, my beyond.鈥�
Basically, keep the title in mind to know what you will get from the book: there鈥檚 info on FRIENDS, a lot more about his 鈥楲overs鈥�, and a whole lot more about the 鈥楤ig Terrible Thing鈥� that has ruined his life. The content about Chandler and FRIENDS is quite limited, not more than a couple of chapters, so about 18-20% of the book. (Needless to say, these were my favourite sections from the book.) Of course, this wasn鈥檛 supposed to be a detailed look at FRIENDS or Chandler, but then, we FRIENDS fans can never have enough of the show.
This book also goes to show how important it is to treat our body well throughout our adulthood, not just past the age of forty. Perry鈥檚 youthful body had helped him as much as it could despite the way he kept abusing it. But there鈥檚 a limit to how much a body can take. When a man in his early fifties reveals how many surgeries he has had and needs to have, how many times he has narrowly escaped death, how his front teeth simply cracked and shattered, you will be horrified at how a person could do so much harm to himself and still be alive. If there is one huge advantage of the book, it would be to show those battling the same issues, the extent of the harm possible, and that they can overcome it, though the struggle for sobriety is going to be a lifelong one.
On an aside: The foreword by Lisa Kudrow is just okay. Some lines are good but it doesn't feel touching. The writing feels like she felt compelled to pen it. It鈥檚 also too short. I expected a lot more from talented Lisa.
Now for the major shortcomings:
馃挃 The book could have done with a huge round of editing; there鈥檚 a fair amount of repetition. In one chapter of the book, Perry acknowledges that he wasn鈥檛 called out by his movie team over his open hangovers and unprofessional behaviour simply because he was the star. I think history has repeated itself; either his editing team felt too awkward about pointing writing mistakes to their star, or they were simply too confident that celeb fans won鈥檛 bother about writing issues.
馃挃 The 鈥楰eanu鈥� controversy:
You might have heard that Perry wonders, in the book, why 鈥楰eanu Reeves still lives鈥�.
Does Perry actually say this? Yes. Twice!
Is it meant to be a joke? So he says, but it doesn鈥檛 really come off as a joke. However, as anyone with a sense of humour knows, jokes sometimes sound funnier in our head than in actuality. Perry must have thought he was cracking a good one-liner, but it falls horribly flat. The blame for this goof lies not just on Perry鈥檚 shoulders but also to the team of editors for not pointing it out. I guess some people knew controversies bring in more eyeballs.
Perry has since apologised for the references, but it鈥檚 a bit too late. Such comments shouldn鈥檛 have been part of a published work in the first place.
( Update: April 2023: Perry has again apologised for the mention of Keanu Reeves, and admitted that it was a stupid thing to do. He has also confirmed that the reference will be omitted from future editions. Well, better late than never! )
On the whole, this book ends up in the 鈥淚 liked it鈥� category. It offered me some new insights into FRIENDS, which I never thought possible. It showed me how Sisyphean can it be to get rid of addictions. It also reassured me that celebs can be honest in their memoirs if they wish to. At the same time, a small part of me regrets this read. Gone is the Chandler Bing I adored, showing me the cracked (in both its meanings) Matthew Perry underneath. It is going to spoil some of my FRIENDS memories, and I am going to do my best to forget that part of this book. But one thing is for sure - as always, I will be rooting for Matthew Perry to stay clean and put this addiction behind him once and for all.
3 stars.
Note: Some reviewers are bashing the book for the life choices made by Perry and his narcissistic and misogynistic comments. However, it is important to keep in mind while reading memoirs and autobiographies that we are reviewing the book and not the person. My review pertains to the book. If you have a problem with Perry the person, please go spew your hate somewhere else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The below was my original 鈥渞eview鈥� here on 欧宝娱乐, posted on the very day that Perry announced the upcoming release of this book. Proof of how excited I had been to grab it. I look back at that na茂ve version of myself with a tinge of sadness and regret.
Feb 11th, 2022:
Oh. My. God! Could I BE more thrilled about this? 馃槏馃槏馃槏
August 2, 2024
I commend Matthew's honesty in talking about a very serious, decades long addiction to alcohol and drugs.
I listened on audio and I found it hard to follow, timeline wise. It jumps around constantly and I found it repetitive.
"I met a woman, I loved her, I pushed her away, I was left alone, I used again, I nearly died, I got sober, I met someone, I pushed her away, I was left alone, I used again, I nearly died, I got sober" etc, etc.
Addiction is messy, and bitter, and mean, and a thief. It steals all that is good. It leaves people lonely, and bitter, and sad. Matthew is all of those things at various points throughout this book, and very upfront about all of it.
For all of the money he spent trying to get better, I have to wonder if any of those places he went to actually try to help people. Therapists included. A massive investigation into rehabilitation facilities is LONG overdue.
I didn't enjoy it. I feel bad that he got addicted, but I also came away thinking that addict or not, he comes off as a bit of an arrogant prick at times. (The God stuff wore a bit thin after a while, too, but that's my own issue). I didn't like how he spoke about women and at one point he says of a woman he dated while under the influence "I would've fucked mud". Every woman he mentions is reduced down to whether she wanted to have sex with him or not.
It's incredibly sad that he's able to help others, but can't help himself. It just shows that addiction doesn't discriminate - you can have the #1 movie and #1 TV series in the country and still go to bed alone, sad and afraid. It's hard to know whether the money and fame was a hindrance or a help in this case.
I do hope this book helps people, but I gained nothing from reading it except a gratitude for never getting into drugs. Maybe that was the point?
I hope he eventually finds the happiness he has wanted for so long. And some self awareness.
Note: Matthew Perry passed away on October 28th, 2023, less than a year after this book was published. I hope he's at peace now, because this book was truly grim. A very sad ending to his very sad story.
I listened on audio and I found it hard to follow, timeline wise. It jumps around constantly and I found it repetitive.
"I met a woman, I loved her, I pushed her away, I was left alone, I used again, I nearly died, I got sober, I met someone, I pushed her away, I was left alone, I used again, I nearly died, I got sober" etc, etc.
Addiction is messy, and bitter, and mean, and a thief. It steals all that is good. It leaves people lonely, and bitter, and sad. Matthew is all of those things at various points throughout this book, and very upfront about all of it.
For all of the money he spent trying to get better, I have to wonder if any of those places he went to actually try to help people. Therapists included. A massive investigation into rehabilitation facilities is LONG overdue.
I didn't enjoy it. I feel bad that he got addicted, but I also came away thinking that addict or not, he comes off as a bit of an arrogant prick at times. (The God stuff wore a bit thin after a while, too, but that's my own issue). I didn't like how he spoke about women and at one point he says of a woman he dated while under the influence "I would've fucked mud". Every woman he mentions is reduced down to whether she wanted to have sex with him or not.
It's incredibly sad that he's able to help others, but can't help himself. It just shows that addiction doesn't discriminate - you can have the #1 movie and #1 TV series in the country and still go to bed alone, sad and afraid. It's hard to know whether the money and fame was a hindrance or a help in this case.
I do hope this book helps people, but I gained nothing from reading it except a gratitude for never getting into drugs. Maybe that was the point?
I hope he eventually finds the happiness he has wanted for so long. And some self awareness.
Note: Matthew Perry passed away on October 28th, 2023, less than a year after this book was published. I hope he's at peace now, because this book was truly grim. A very sad ending to his very sad story.
Read
November 20, 2022I'm not comfortable giving this book a star rating because I think the last thing Perry needs is any sort of judgement, positive or negative, from the public. There were moments when I thought he could have gone much deeper, and there were moments when I was astounded at what he was willing to share. Mostly, listening to this sort of broke my heart for him. I hope he finds peace, I hope he stays sober, and mostly, I hope he's finally able to live the life he says he wants. There's no doubt that a lot of people will find comfort in his story.
Read
November 6, 2023I just finished and decided to not write a review for this because i had hard time putting words together.
This book made me understand him more and the more i get to know him,my love for him increased.i鈥檓 so glad that i decided to read it to honour him in my way.
.
I am utterly shock.
I decided to drop my tbr and read his memoir as my next read.
This is so difficult to process.
You may be gone but I think you'd be glad to know Chandler will keep making us laugh forever
This book made me understand him more and the more i get to know him,my love for him increased.i鈥檓 so glad that i decided to read it to honour him in my way.
.
I am utterly shock.
I decided to drop my tbr and read his memoir as my next read.
This is so difficult to process.
You may be gone but I think you'd be glad to know Chandler will keep making us laugh forever
October 30, 2023
Note as of 10/28/2023: In light of Matthew passing away yesterday, I want to note that I am very heartbroken to have read the news. He was a big part of my childhood and I do love the characters he created. I still believe that his book is severely flawed and he could have greatly benefitted from a good editor. He did not make himself look good in this book, and I don鈥檛 mean about the addiction stuff but more of the self reflection and the way he talks about people. Although, the amount of people that have nothing but kind things to say about him is something to keep in mind. But yesterday the world did lose a very good and talented actor. The legacy of his roles, especially Chandler Bing, will live on in pop culture for decades to come. I鈥檓 going to watch my favorite episode of Friends tonight in his honor. Rest easy, Matty.
鈥斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌�
Reviewed on 11/05/2022
Oof. I don't think this review could BE any worse.
Ok, Matthew Perry, here we go.
First, I will say that I loved Matthew Perry growing up. A huge part of my sense of humor, personality, and wit was because of Chandler Bing. I think anyone that knows me would see that connection and agree that I am a female Chandler Bing in the comedic sense. I have also seen every one of his films. So, I am a fan.
I applaud his vulnerability and openness about his past. It鈥檚 a story, for sure. No one will deny he has had a hard battle. I truly hope he stays sober and continues to do the work.
However, this book is problematic. I had expected more from a middle aged man writing an autobiography who claims he has overcome his addictions. He does not come across as someone with a ton of insight or emotional intelligence. He does not own up to his own mistakes and they are everyone else鈥檚 fault.
He dissed so many people, it made me uncomfortable. Not just Keanu Reeves (y'know the nicest man in the world) but also his former costars, friends, girlfriends, celebrities, sponsors, family, directors, agents鈥� everyone. I鈥檝e heard many actors say that a good rule to follow is to never dis any work that you have done, because you are not the only one that worked on it. If you, as an actor, put bad words to the work, you are also insulting hundreds of other people that also worked on this show/film. So that left a really bitter taste in my mouth. He did that a lot in this book.
He talked poorly about everything and everyone. He boasted about all the women he got and him basically being a stud, but he fully blasted their names (and we know some of these celebrities, so he didn鈥檛 change their name). It also came across slightly braggy when he mentioned that HE dumped THEM and had to keep saying it. Even his costars from Friends, the ones he worked with for 10 years, he didn鈥檛 have much to say about them. David Schwimmer got him a lot of money, and Jennifer Aniston rejected him and was just eye candy for 10 years. Like oh, ok.
He also has a very big chip on his shoulders. Huge ego. Thinks he invented comedy and he was the best of the best. While I do think he is a wonderful comedic actor, the ego was too much. He enjoyed mentioning how much money he made from everything he did, and what he would get with that money.
On several occasions, he describes how he would rather be other people than himself because he has it so tough. He kept saying that he would trade places with a person who had no money, in a rent controlled apartment, with diabetes, and struggling to work, if he didn鈥檛 have addiction. I want to believe he would gladly trade places, but the amount of times he bragged about the money and fame he got, I do not think he would trade places, truly.
The timeline was hard to follow. I watched all of his movies, but I don鈥檛 remember the dates they came out. Just put what year this story is taking place! I can鈥檛 follow along. At one point, he mentioned this rehab story to be his third rehab (鈥渇or those of you keeping count at home鈥�) and I鈥檓 like鈥� eh??? 鈥� this sounds like the 15th rehab story you鈥檝e told though. It鈥檚 not completely chronological order, and he repeats himself a ton. It took me a few days extra to read this rather short book because I would pull out my phone to look up dates of his movies or YouTube videos of interviews he is talking about so I could get a sense of what is going on. I really shouldn鈥檛 need to do that. He really could have benefitted from a good editor.
In conclusion, Matthew Perry has had a hard life with addiction, and I hope he stays sober. I hope he finds the small joys in life. However, I would never want to hang out with this man. This is definitely a 鈥渄on鈥檛 meet your heroes鈥� moment for me. He comes across as sexist, pompous, condescending, egotistical, and ungrateful. It鈥檚 very sad this is how he has lived his life when he had so much handed to him and lots of good luck on his side to become as successful in his career as he became. I also fear this isn鈥檛 the end of his problem either. I didn鈥檛 feel this was an autobiography of someone who has worked on and overcome their problems, and more of an autobiography of someone just starting the process and needs lots of time to reflect and work on themselves. And own to their mistakes.
Please don鈥檛 bother to read this. I felt like banging my head against the wall in a stairwell, just like you, Matty. Those darn stairwells.
鈥斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌斺赌�
Reviewed on 11/05/2022
Oof. I don't think this review could BE any worse.
Ok, Matthew Perry, here we go.
First, I will say that I loved Matthew Perry growing up. A huge part of my sense of humor, personality, and wit was because of Chandler Bing. I think anyone that knows me would see that connection and agree that I am a female Chandler Bing in the comedic sense. I have also seen every one of his films. So, I am a fan.
I applaud his vulnerability and openness about his past. It鈥檚 a story, for sure. No one will deny he has had a hard battle. I truly hope he stays sober and continues to do the work.
However, this book is problematic. I had expected more from a middle aged man writing an autobiography who claims he has overcome his addictions. He does not come across as someone with a ton of insight or emotional intelligence. He does not own up to his own mistakes and they are everyone else鈥檚 fault.
He dissed so many people, it made me uncomfortable. Not just Keanu Reeves (y'know the nicest man in the world) but also his former costars, friends, girlfriends, celebrities, sponsors, family, directors, agents鈥� everyone. I鈥檝e heard many actors say that a good rule to follow is to never dis any work that you have done, because you are not the only one that worked on it. If you, as an actor, put bad words to the work, you are also insulting hundreds of other people that also worked on this show/film. So that left a really bitter taste in my mouth. He did that a lot in this book.
He talked poorly about everything and everyone. He boasted about all the women he got and him basically being a stud, but he fully blasted their names (and we know some of these celebrities, so he didn鈥檛 change their name). It also came across slightly braggy when he mentioned that HE dumped THEM and had to keep saying it. Even his costars from Friends, the ones he worked with for 10 years, he didn鈥檛 have much to say about them. David Schwimmer got him a lot of money, and Jennifer Aniston rejected him and was just eye candy for 10 years. Like oh, ok.
He also has a very big chip on his shoulders. Huge ego. Thinks he invented comedy and he was the best of the best. While I do think he is a wonderful comedic actor, the ego was too much. He enjoyed mentioning how much money he made from everything he did, and what he would get with that money.
On several occasions, he describes how he would rather be other people than himself because he has it so tough. He kept saying that he would trade places with a person who had no money, in a rent controlled apartment, with diabetes, and struggling to work, if he didn鈥檛 have addiction. I want to believe he would gladly trade places, but the amount of times he bragged about the money and fame he got, I do not think he would trade places, truly.
The timeline was hard to follow. I watched all of his movies, but I don鈥檛 remember the dates they came out. Just put what year this story is taking place! I can鈥檛 follow along. At one point, he mentioned this rehab story to be his third rehab (鈥渇or those of you keeping count at home鈥�) and I鈥檓 like鈥� eh??? 鈥� this sounds like the 15th rehab story you鈥檝e told though. It鈥檚 not completely chronological order, and he repeats himself a ton. It took me a few days extra to read this rather short book because I would pull out my phone to look up dates of his movies or YouTube videos of interviews he is talking about so I could get a sense of what is going on. I really shouldn鈥檛 need to do that. He really could have benefitted from a good editor.
In conclusion, Matthew Perry has had a hard life with addiction, and I hope he stays sober. I hope he finds the small joys in life. However, I would never want to hang out with this man. This is definitely a 鈥渄on鈥檛 meet your heroes鈥� moment for me. He comes across as sexist, pompous, condescending, egotistical, and ungrateful. It鈥檚 very sad this is how he has lived his life when he had so much handed to him and lots of good luck on his side to become as successful in his career as he became. I also fear this isn鈥檛 the end of his problem either. I didn鈥檛 feel this was an autobiography of someone who has worked on and overcome their problems, and more of an autobiography of someone just starting the process and needs lots of time to reflect and work on themselves. And own to their mistakes.
Please don鈥檛 bother to read this. I felt like banging my head against the wall in a stairwell, just like you, Matty. Those darn stairwells.
April 25, 2023
Update news -- Matthew Perry removed insult from Keanu Reeves future editions of this book!
He said....."I said a stupid thing. It was a mean thing to do".
Always a welcome + when a person apologizes!
Library - Libby - audiobook鈥�
read by Matthew Perry
鈥�8 hours and 49 minutes
Note:
I 鈥榳asn鈥檛鈥� a 鈥淔riends鈥� fan. I鈥檇 seen the show occasionally and that鈥檚 about it. I liked Jennifer Aniston鈥檚 hair - (as many people did) more than the show itself.
With no real interest in Matthew Perry - (less now), or his 鈥楩riends鈥� character, Chandler鈥� one might ask 鈥渨hy did I choose 鈥淔riends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing鈥濃€︹€ith a 鈥榞od-awful鈥� title and a Matthew Perry photo with a smirk type smile?
Go ahead laugh at me!!!!
I鈥檝e listened to so many memoirs since the pandemic (most good)鈥asy movable-travel-with-me-daytime listening - sauna resting - warm pool soaking (no longer hiking) companion. 鈥�.
but with no real care one way or another if I got hold of 鈥榯his book鈥� (I had plenty of doubts), I added my name to the library waitlist of about 300 others鈥�.
and
奥翱奥鈥�.
鈥 had this audiobook in my hands in about 2 DAYS鈥�..
My first thought was - really? Why so fast? Did all 299 others hate it and return it with 5 minutes as I considered doing?
It鈥檚 soooo BEYOND BAD WRITING. The beginning is appalling, overly exaggerated, portraying himself as an ignorant pompous narcissistic asshole!
The more self deprecating he was in trying to present himself a real guy with much more pain than childbirth pain, and other ludicrous remarks 鈥� the more egotistic he came off.
So add me to the other SFBay area library users who returned their copy quickly!
For a woman who recently grew an interest in the numerous post-pandemic memoirs available鈥攖his memoir became a 鈥榤ajor鈥� turn off in 鈥榣ess鈥� than 5 minutes.
I listened a little longer while washing our sheets, unloading the dishwasher and other mundane tasks around the house.
Matthew Perry is much to
cocky for my taste 鈥� boring at best 鈥�
He is on every news channel these days. I keep seeing his face telling people that he wrote this book to help other people.
I don鈥檛 get it.
Unless? 鈥�. maybe 鈥�.he鈥檚 donating all his profits to a reputable treatment clinic helping others with addictions?鈥�.
But with such unlikable sarcasm, and his nerve-racking tone,
Perry鈥檚 self-assurance鈥� assumptions felt nauseating to me.
Endless windbag sleaziness
writing!
The eccentricity alone was strange!!
How did this book get past editors?
Soooo AWFUL!!!
LESS than 1 star!!!
January 1, 2024
"I didn't need an Oscar, I just needed one more day."
Matthew writes, "There were times I just acted Chandler out for them [his friends] and told them to copy what I'd done, so sure was I that it was the right way to play him." He wrote that before he knew that he would not only play Chandler, but embody him. He writes, "A couple days later I got the phone call that would change my life" and I couldn't help but write out: change all of our lives.
Matty, if you ever see this, I hope you know that while we all love Chandler Bing... we love him because you're him and he's you. I'm thankful for Chandler for so many reasons, but I'm most thankful he's kept you alive long enough to tell your story. One of so much pain, so much darkness, with so much light overshadowing it all. We'd never know the hurt behind the happy if you didn't choose to share it here. I know so many people are going to read it, see themselves, and strive to be as strong and courageous as you have been all these years behind closed doors.
I'm so glad you finally opened it. I'm so glad anyone who struggles with addiction will now always have you. Just like the rest of us have always had Chandler.
You are enough. As Matthew Perry, you're enough, and I'm so glad that at the end of this you recognize that. I hope you continue to recognize that for the rest of your life.
I have fallen completely in love with reading memoirs of people I admire this year. So many things about this story in particular broke my heart, shattered it. And it didn't really stitch it back together. It was so real, so honest, so unkind. I love that Matthew showed, with such honesty, how broken his life became because of his addiction.
I love that he showed that healing starts, and restarts, and is always in progress. That no matter how long you live, there will always be another hurtle. Another choice. Another thing to manage. I love that God was an undertone of his story, yet became his reality.
As a huge fan of Friends, I love that I never have to question how special that bond all of them created for a decade truly is. It's written in these pages around the patches of his heart.
"Love always wins."
I've had so many people like this review since the news came in about Matthew Perry's sudden and heartbreaking loss, and I'm so glad my words are able to sit with you while the world feels that loss. Hugs to everyone, hugs to Matty's friends and family, and a thought: Heaven is so lucky to have its funniest, kindest, most understanding soul 馃
Matthew writes, "There were times I just acted Chandler out for them [his friends] and told them to copy what I'd done, so sure was I that it was the right way to play him." He wrote that before he knew that he would not only play Chandler, but embody him. He writes, "A couple days later I got the phone call that would change my life" and I couldn't help but write out: change all of our lives.
Matty, if you ever see this, I hope you know that while we all love Chandler Bing... we love him because you're him and he's you. I'm thankful for Chandler for so many reasons, but I'm most thankful he's kept you alive long enough to tell your story. One of so much pain, so much darkness, with so much light overshadowing it all. We'd never know the hurt behind the happy if you didn't choose to share it here. I know so many people are going to read it, see themselves, and strive to be as strong and courageous as you have been all these years behind closed doors.
I'm so glad you finally opened it. I'm so glad anyone who struggles with addiction will now always have you. Just like the rest of us have always had Chandler.
You are enough. As Matthew Perry, you're enough, and I'm so glad that at the end of this you recognize that. I hope you continue to recognize that for the rest of your life.
I have fallen completely in love with reading memoirs of people I admire this year. So many things about this story in particular broke my heart, shattered it. And it didn't really stitch it back together. It was so real, so honest, so unkind. I love that Matthew showed, with such honesty, how broken his life became because of his addiction.
I love that he showed that healing starts, and restarts, and is always in progress. That no matter how long you live, there will always be another hurtle. Another choice. Another thing to manage. I love that God was an undertone of his story, yet became his reality.
As a huge fan of Friends, I love that I never have to question how special that bond all of them created for a decade truly is. It's written in these pages around the patches of his heart.
"Love always wins."
I've had so many people like this review since the news came in about Matthew Perry's sudden and heartbreaking loss, and I'm so glad my words are able to sit with you while the world feels that loss. Hugs to everyone, hugs to Matty's friends and family, and a thought: Heaven is so lucky to have its funniest, kindest, most understanding soul 馃
December 3, 2022
It is brave to expose your deepest, darkest feelings for all to see, but this is not exactly what happens.
The way this book is marketed is as an unflinchingly honest look at addiction. And while it certainly talks about addiction, what happened in actuality is that Perry revealed who he is, but by accident - the messed up but ultimately good guy he tries to portray himself as is drowned out by his immense ego and arrogance. One particularly clear look at who Perry truly is comes from the following line about Perry House, a sober living facility he set up, seemingly to help people get clean:
"Perry House was floundering. Not enough people attended鈥攊t was simply too expensive, so I had to cut my losses and sell the property."
And there he is. The man who spends no small part of the book talking about how he was rolling in money, closing a sober living facility because people couldn't afford to attend. Maybe cut the price a bit Matty? Move it out of Malibu? I am not surprised Lisa Kudrow's foreword felt so forced.
Importantly, despite being a self-proclaimed expert in AA and therapy, Perry doesn't seem to have learnt a whole lot. The narrative is flat and does not truly delve deeply into motivations and his psyche - sure, he talks about his commitment issues and lack of confidence, as well as the fact that addiction is an illness, and yet there are many moments where I found myself hoping for introspection, some uncovering of the underlying reasons for his behaviour, and every time I was left wanting. As he admittedly always does, Perry loses courage at the last minute and changes the topic, moves on, doesn't truly let you in. He distracts you with graphic details of addiction and detox, all the while skipping past a meaningful discussion on his reasons for relapsing in the first place. While that is painfully ironic, it is also not surprising. Mostly what I get from this book is endless self pity, with sincere moments and realisations sprinkled in.
Stylistically, this also isn't a well written book. The memoir is repetitve, and as it is not in any chronological order it often simply makes no sense, it is more a series of anecdotes rather than a coherent narrative, and reads as a stream of consciousness rather than a fully thought out memoir. At one point by the end he starts repeating the same story from the start and I honestly thought I accidentally ended up at the beginning (as I was reading electronically). Perry also name drops incessantly and reveals a lot of details about other people's behaviour, which I am not sure he cleared with them first. It feels as if he is exposing them rather than himself, and always, always, in a self -agrandising way.
I appreciated some aspects of the book, like the author's humour, and believe he has truly been through hell and back, which I commend him for. The one good thing to come from this book should be that we thoroughly investigate the care people receive in sober living facilities. These places are clearly preying on the vulnerable and need to be reformed. I also hope others in a similar situation find a way to get clean and find inspiration in this memoir. Unfortunately, it would appear the author himself still has a very long way to go.
The way this book is marketed is as an unflinchingly honest look at addiction. And while it certainly talks about addiction, what happened in actuality is that Perry revealed who he is, but by accident - the messed up but ultimately good guy he tries to portray himself as is drowned out by his immense ego and arrogance. One particularly clear look at who Perry truly is comes from the following line about Perry House, a sober living facility he set up, seemingly to help people get clean:
"Perry House was floundering. Not enough people attended鈥攊t was simply too expensive, so I had to cut my losses and sell the property."
And there he is. The man who spends no small part of the book talking about how he was rolling in money, closing a sober living facility because people couldn't afford to attend. Maybe cut the price a bit Matty? Move it out of Malibu? I am not surprised Lisa Kudrow's foreword felt so forced.
Importantly, despite being a self-proclaimed expert in AA and therapy, Perry doesn't seem to have learnt a whole lot. The narrative is flat and does not truly delve deeply into motivations and his psyche - sure, he talks about his commitment issues and lack of confidence, as well as the fact that addiction is an illness, and yet there are many moments where I found myself hoping for introspection, some uncovering of the underlying reasons for his behaviour, and every time I was left wanting. As he admittedly always does, Perry loses courage at the last minute and changes the topic, moves on, doesn't truly let you in. He distracts you with graphic details of addiction and detox, all the while skipping past a meaningful discussion on his reasons for relapsing in the first place. While that is painfully ironic, it is also not surprising. Mostly what I get from this book is endless self pity, with sincere moments and realisations sprinkled in.
Stylistically, this also isn't a well written book. The memoir is repetitve, and as it is not in any chronological order it often simply makes no sense, it is more a series of anecdotes rather than a coherent narrative, and reads as a stream of consciousness rather than a fully thought out memoir. At one point by the end he starts repeating the same story from the start and I honestly thought I accidentally ended up at the beginning (as I was reading electronically). Perry also name drops incessantly and reveals a lot of details about other people's behaviour, which I am not sure he cleared with them first. It feels as if he is exposing them rather than himself, and always, always, in a self -agrandising way.
I appreciated some aspects of the book, like the author's humour, and believe he has truly been through hell and back, which I commend him for. The one good thing to come from this book should be that we thoroughly investigate the care people receive in sober living facilities. These places are clearly preying on the vulnerable and need to be reformed. I also hope others in a similar situation find a way to get clean and find inspiration in this memoir. Unfortunately, it would appear the author himself still has a very long way to go.
June 1, 2025
A very good book. I wanted to rate this book 4.5 stars, but for me, it definitely deserves a round-up instead of a down. If you are expecting a funny book, you might be disappointed. There is some dark humour to take away some of the darkness Matthew Perry has faced. This shines a light on the much-misunderstood disease that is addiction.
The only complaint I had about this book is that it jumps around time periods a lot. For me, it makes it a bit hard to follow. That is the only reason I considered taking a star off.
I was not the biggest Friends fan, but it was almost impossible not to know about it. I was always drawn to Chandler Bing. It was probably him being the funny guy trying to fit into the cool crowd, and I was the weird guy trying to fit in anywhere. They say certain actors are born to play certain characters, as it is their natural personality dialled up to 11. In this case, Chandler Bing is the toned-down PG version of the real Matthew Perry. Perry is literally Bing on steroids.
This is Perry's story, his family, friends, relationships, mistakes, redemptions, and courage. Yes, this book is about addictions and how dangerous and damaging they can be to someone. However, Perry does not use his addictions as an excuse for his behaviour. He talks openly about his thought processes as he does what he did. He faces up to his mistakes and makes me think he genuinely wants to make amends for his mistakes. He does fall several times, but he does not stay down.
This a great book that I think will genuinely help people if only for them to know that are not the only ones facing addiction problems and not to give up. This is not a behind the scenes book of Friends. There is no big cast gossip. This is a book about issues, courage, and redemption.
The only complaint I had about this book is that it jumps around time periods a lot. For me, it makes it a bit hard to follow. That is the only reason I considered taking a star off.
I was not the biggest Friends fan, but it was almost impossible not to know about it. I was always drawn to Chandler Bing. It was probably him being the funny guy trying to fit into the cool crowd, and I was the weird guy trying to fit in anywhere. They say certain actors are born to play certain characters, as it is their natural personality dialled up to 11. In this case, Chandler Bing is the toned-down PG version of the real Matthew Perry. Perry is literally Bing on steroids.
This is Perry's story, his family, friends, relationships, mistakes, redemptions, and courage. Yes, this book is about addictions and how dangerous and damaging they can be to someone. However, Perry does not use his addictions as an excuse for his behaviour. He talks openly about his thought processes as he does what he did. He faces up to his mistakes and makes me think he genuinely wants to make amends for his mistakes. He does fall several times, but he does not stay down.
This a great book that I think will genuinely help people if only for them to know that are not the only ones facing addiction problems and not to give up. This is not a behind the scenes book of Friends. There is no big cast gossip. This is a book about issues, courage, and redemption.
October 29, 2023
Im glad I listened to this so I can join in the discord around it and I did binge it in a day. Is it a must read celebrity memoir? Nope. Read Jessica Simpson鈥檚 instead.
The non linear timeline left me confused as to where and when we were in his life. It needed some editing and it was repetitive at times.
Like any good celebrity memoir you get juicy deets about his time on Friends and interactions with other celebs - Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts. There鈥檚 a weird comment about Keanu Reaves that I thought was sarcasm but perhaps not. Matty considers himself a funny guy so I urge people to take it as a joke. I must admit I find him a bit odd after listening to this in entirety and found him a bit pompous and condescending at times.
I found the foreword from Lisa Kudrow to be distant and forced. Perhaps we will never really know how the cast dealt with his addiction for 10 years. How do you help a friend that is hiding so much?
Most of all we learn of his decades long battle with addiction to drugs and alcohol. I had NO idea what he was going through while watching the show. I still have no idea how he lived through it all.
I hope Matty is able to stay healthy, sober and happy and find peace and love.
*** Just heartbreaking to hear the news of his death today. May he RIP.***
The non linear timeline left me confused as to where and when we were in his life. It needed some editing and it was repetitive at times.
Like any good celebrity memoir you get juicy deets about his time on Friends and interactions with other celebs - Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts. There鈥檚 a weird comment about Keanu Reaves that I thought was sarcasm but perhaps not. Matty considers himself a funny guy so I urge people to take it as a joke. I must admit I find him a bit odd after listening to this in entirety and found him a bit pompous and condescending at times.
I found the foreword from Lisa Kudrow to be distant and forced. Perhaps we will never really know how the cast dealt with his addiction for 10 years. How do you help a friend that is hiding so much?
Most of all we learn of his decades long battle with addiction to drugs and alcohol. I had NO idea what he was going through while watching the show. I still have no idea how he lived through it all.
I hope Matty is able to stay healthy, sober and happy and find peace and love.
*** Just heartbreaking to hear the news of his death today. May he RIP.***
March 5, 2025
鈥淚t is very odd to live in a world where if you died, it would shock people but surprise no one.鈥�
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
鈿狅笍鈿狅笍馃毃First- SPOILERS AHEAD.馃毃鈿狅笍鈿狅笍
edit- I鈥檓 watching the documentary on peacock Matthew Perry a Hollywood Tragedy and omg!! I don鈥檛 follow Hollywood news too often so I鈥檓 just hearing about these doctors that over prescribed ketamine to Perry causing his death.
And their evil text messages talking about they know it鈥檚 not how it鈥檚 prescribed and let鈥檚 find out how much this moron will pay for the ketamine. I hope they go to prison!! Pieces of shit! These are mf medical doctors? Scumbags.
Lemme just start by saying that it has been a long while since I have sat at my desk either listening or reading a book with tears streaming down my face. Never because of a memoir - this is a first for me.
My whole reason behind wanting to read Matthew's memoir is because I wanted to get to know a little more about him , besides what I knew which was essentially nothing other than he was in a few movies/shows I watched- and of course as the face of Chandler Bing.
There's several Hollywood stars out there that I have known to have an addiction problem, either because they died from it or back when I read gossip magazines while sipping my wine I would shake my head and think to myself- mmm mmm what a shame. How can you want to destroy yourself when you have everything... Obviously, now I know that is ignorant thinking and addiction doesn't just come for the poor and 'hopeless' and not just the middle class who are working paycheck to paycheck. It can come for anyone. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and as Perry said - PATIENT. It will wait, and it will continue to come for you.
I think this especially hit so hard for me, because I am familiar with the rooms of AA, NA, and ALANON. I have known many people who have battled addiction and it is no easy feat.
Please keep in mind that if you are a recovering addict or have family/friends recovering some of the content in this book may be triggering.
Matthew Perry gives a very transparent, raw, emotional and painful look at his life as he battled through addiction in this autobiography- not just in substance form but in the form of wanting love, of using sex at times as a means to cope. Of the feelings of abandonment, of despair, of heartache, desperation and of hope.
A truly exposed look into his life.
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "I was lost. There was nowhere to turn. Everywhere I tried to hide, there I was. Alcoholics hate two things; the way things are and change. I knew something had to change- I wasn't suicidal, but I was dying- but I was too scared to do anything about it."
"I can't stop. And if I didn't get ahold of this soon, it was going to kill me. I had a monster in my brain, a monster who wanted to get me alone, and convince me to have that first drink or pill, and then that monster would engulf me."
"Panic set in. I was not high. There was nothing separating me from me. I felt like a little kid scared of monsters in the dark. But was I the monster?"
"As I sat there puffing on a Marlboro, a light snow began to fall, brining on an intense hush, as though the universe was patiently listening to my head and heart.
I wonder what the universe heard. "
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
Still, as I sit here and try to put this review together, I find myself with tears in my eyes and my head in my hands as hearing these words pour out from someone in what I would say reads pretty much like how it sounds when you tell your story at an AA meeting- all the really bad gritty details and it just pains me so. Especially, moreover now that he has left this earth. It's a death that I find haunting in a way, similar to how I felt with some other Hollywood stars. As I expected before starting this book, it feels very surreal.
He touches a lot on this loneliness that he felt from a very young age, and I am a firm believer in the FACT that addiction is a disease and not a choice- I also though think that when something traumatic happens when you are very young it can trigger something inside of you- I'm no PhD so I'm not sure if that's contradicting or if they can go hand and hand.
But he said things that hurt deep down in my soul because I understand on a basic human level and I do hope that where ever it is we go when we leave earth that he is finally at peace there.
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "I was also so lonely that it hurt; I could feel the loneliness in my bones. On the outside, I looked like the luckiest man alive, so there were only a few people I could complain to without being told to shut up, and even then... nothing could fill the hole inside of me."
"Out back, as I waited for something to come to me, anything that might make things better, instead I once again heard the sound of coyotes. "
"No, it's the sound of me, alone, fending off the demons for one more night. They'd won. And I knew I'd lost as I headed back up to my lonely bedroom to fend off those demons and negotiated sleep one more time."
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "Do you know what Saint Peter says to everyone who tries to get into heaven?" When I looked blankly, the man who once was president said, "Peter says, 'Don't you have any scars?' And when most would respond proudly, 'Well no, no I don't, Peter says, 'Why not? Was there nothing worth fighting for?"
"I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful."
鈿狅笍鈿狅笍馃毃First- SPOILERS AHEAD.馃毃鈿狅笍鈿狅笍
edit- I鈥檓 watching the documentary on peacock Matthew Perry a Hollywood Tragedy and omg!! I don鈥檛 follow Hollywood news too often so I鈥檓 just hearing about these doctors that over prescribed ketamine to Perry causing his death.
And their evil text messages talking about they know it鈥檚 not how it鈥檚 prescribed and let鈥檚 find out how much this moron will pay for the ketamine. I hope they go to prison!! Pieces of shit! These are mf medical doctors? Scumbags.
Lemme just start by saying that it has been a long while since I have sat at my desk either listening or reading a book with tears streaming down my face. Never because of a memoir - this is a first for me.
My whole reason behind wanting to read Matthew's memoir is because I wanted to get to know a little more about him , besides what I knew which was essentially nothing other than he was in a few movies/shows I watched- and of course as the face of Chandler Bing.
There's several Hollywood stars out there that I have known to have an addiction problem, either because they died from it or back when I read gossip magazines while sipping my wine I would shake my head and think to myself- mmm mmm what a shame. How can you want to destroy yourself when you have everything... Obviously, now I know that is ignorant thinking and addiction doesn't just come for the poor and 'hopeless' and not just the middle class who are working paycheck to paycheck. It can come for anyone. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and as Perry said - PATIENT. It will wait, and it will continue to come for you.
I think this especially hit so hard for me, because I am familiar with the rooms of AA, NA, and ALANON. I have known many people who have battled addiction and it is no easy feat.
Please keep in mind that if you are a recovering addict or have family/friends recovering some of the content in this book may be triggering.
Matthew Perry gives a very transparent, raw, emotional and painful look at his life as he battled through addiction in this autobiography- not just in substance form but in the form of wanting love, of using sex at times as a means to cope. Of the feelings of abandonment, of despair, of heartache, desperation and of hope.
A truly exposed look into his life.
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "I was lost. There was nowhere to turn. Everywhere I tried to hide, there I was. Alcoholics hate two things; the way things are and change. I knew something had to change- I wasn't suicidal, but I was dying- but I was too scared to do anything about it."
"I can't stop. And if I didn't get ahold of this soon, it was going to kill me. I had a monster in my brain, a monster who wanted to get me alone, and convince me to have that first drink or pill, and then that monster would engulf me."
"Panic set in. I was not high. There was nothing separating me from me. I felt like a little kid scared of monsters in the dark. But was I the monster?"
"As I sat there puffing on a Marlboro, a light snow began to fall, brining on an intense hush, as though the universe was patiently listening to my head and heart.
I wonder what the universe heard. "
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
Still, as I sit here and try to put this review together, I find myself with tears in my eyes and my head in my hands as hearing these words pour out from someone in what I would say reads pretty much like how it sounds when you tell your story at an AA meeting- all the really bad gritty details and it just pains me so. Especially, moreover now that he has left this earth. It's a death that I find haunting in a way, similar to how I felt with some other Hollywood stars. As I expected before starting this book, it feels very surreal.
He touches a lot on this loneliness that he felt from a very young age, and I am a firm believer in the FACT that addiction is a disease and not a choice- I also though think that when something traumatic happens when you are very young it can trigger something inside of you- I'm no PhD so I'm not sure if that's contradicting or if they can go hand and hand.
But he said things that hurt deep down in my soul because I understand on a basic human level and I do hope that where ever it is we go when we leave earth that he is finally at peace there.
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "I was also so lonely that it hurt; I could feel the loneliness in my bones. On the outside, I looked like the luckiest man alive, so there were only a few people I could complain to without being told to shut up, and even then... nothing could fill the hole inside of me."
"Out back, as I waited for something to come to me, anything that might make things better, instead I once again heard the sound of coyotes. "
"No, it's the sound of me, alone, fending off the demons for one more night. They'd won. And I knew I'd lost as I headed back up to my lonely bedroom to fend off those demons and negotiated sleep one more time."
戗勦嗫愢粙藮鈰� 嗉�
藲 嗉� 喑€鈰�.藲
*喋堚湬鈥р倞藲 嗒溾亐鉃� "Do you know what Saint Peter says to everyone who tries to get into heaven?" When I looked blankly, the man who once was president said, "Peter says, 'Don't you have any scars?' And when most would respond proudly, 'Well no, no I don't, Peter says, 'Why not? Was there nothing worth fighting for?"
"I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful."
November 26, 2022
I didn鈥檛 really have any specific feelings about Matthew Perry going into this book. I liked Friends as much as the next person and knew that he had been struggling with addiction over the past 30+yrs. I have read other memoirs from celebrities who faced similar issues and always came away with appreciation for their sincerity and honesty.
I guess I can say that Perry definitely gave us honesty. And maybe sincerity too. But, in that case, he鈥檚 sincerely a narcissistic misogynist who takes no responsibility for any of his actions and blames everyone else for his problems. All of the attention has been about his totally unnecessary digs at Keanu Reeves when talking about the overdose deaths of River Phoenix and Chris Farley, but why isn鈥檛 more being said about what a creepy lech he is? I feel sorry for the cast of Friends having to put up with him. Poor Jennifer Aniston had to deal with his constant sexual harassment, probably continuing to this day. Courtney and Lisa are only described in terms of their attractiveness. David and Matt get to be actual people. And that鈥檚 just the Friends stuff.
Perry talked a lot about his recovery in AA and all the *men* he鈥檚 helped with his time and money. Does he not realize women are alcoholics too, or he just doesn鈥檛 care? **Editing to add that AA segregates so that explains him only helping/interacting with men in recovery.
From the opening chapter with him talking about ogling women with his lesbian best friend to the closing credits with him still showing that women are still just things for him to complain about or objectify, I鈥檓 left feeling like the editors have more explaining to do here than Perry himself. I realize you had to deal with how to package the words of this creep. I shudder to think what it looked like before we got the final draft. But your work wasn鈥檛 done鈥� someone should have told him how badly he comes across as it stands. The world needed a better edited version of his story. Unless the editors were so sick of dealing with him and just wanted to be done? I definitely felt that way reading it.
I guess I can say that Perry definitely gave us honesty. And maybe sincerity too. But, in that case, he鈥檚 sincerely a narcissistic misogynist who takes no responsibility for any of his actions and blames everyone else for his problems. All of the attention has been about his totally unnecessary digs at Keanu Reeves when talking about the overdose deaths of River Phoenix and Chris Farley, but why isn鈥檛 more being said about what a creepy lech he is? I feel sorry for the cast of Friends having to put up with him. Poor Jennifer Aniston had to deal with his constant sexual harassment, probably continuing to this day. Courtney and Lisa are only described in terms of their attractiveness. David and Matt get to be actual people. And that鈥檚 just the Friends stuff.
Perry talked a lot about his recovery in AA and all the *men* he鈥檚 helped with his time and money. Does he not realize women are alcoholics too, or he just doesn鈥檛 care? **Editing to add that AA segregates so that explains him only helping/interacting with men in recovery.
From the opening chapter with him talking about ogling women with his lesbian best friend to the closing credits with him still showing that women are still just things for him to complain about or objectify, I鈥檓 left feeling like the editors have more explaining to do here than Perry himself. I realize you had to deal with how to package the words of this creep. I shudder to think what it looked like before we got the final draft. But your work wasn鈥檛 done鈥� someone should have told him how badly he comes across as it stands. The world needed a better edited version of his story. Unless the editors were so sick of dealing with him and just wanted to be done? I definitely felt that way reading it.
April 7, 2024
I regret listening to this nonsense.
Sometimes, things should just not be published. After listening to this, I disliked him more. I thought maybe we鈥檇 get a little bit of insight, but really, all it was was the blame game.
He blamed his mother he blamed his father. He blamed the people around him. He blamed the big terrible thing. He blames literally everybody and anything, including God, but never once does he take accountability for himself.
He also doesn鈥檛 have a very high opinion of women. That鈥檚 blatantly clear in almost everything he has to say about his mother and any of the women that he dated and worked with. I seriously think the only three people that he actually had a high opinion of were Erin, his sober companion/assistant; I think she was and his two sisters.
And I don鈥檛 know if the wisecracks about Keanu and Robert Duvall were supposed to be jokes, but they definitely did not hit.
Did it make me sad that he has to struggle and deal with addiction and alcoholism? Yes. And that isn鈥檛 even the reason why I didn鈥檛 like this book.
It literally was the way he looked at the world and blamed everybody else. I just don鈥檛 know. I feel like he didn鈥檛 learn anything. He went through all of these experiences and hardships, and it still sounded like he didn鈥檛 care. He just said he was upset that none of it worked for him.
Sometimes, things should just not be published. After listening to this, I disliked him more. I thought maybe we鈥檇 get a little bit of insight, but really, all it was was the blame game.
He blamed his mother he blamed his father. He blamed the people around him. He blamed the big terrible thing. He blames literally everybody and anything, including God, but never once does he take accountability for himself.
He also doesn鈥檛 have a very high opinion of women. That鈥檚 blatantly clear in almost everything he has to say about his mother and any of the women that he dated and worked with. I seriously think the only three people that he actually had a high opinion of were Erin, his sober companion/assistant; I think she was and his two sisters.
And I don鈥檛 know if the wisecracks about Keanu and Robert Duvall were supposed to be jokes, but they definitely did not hit.
Did it make me sad that he has to struggle and deal with addiction and alcoholism? Yes. And that isn鈥檛 even the reason why I didn鈥檛 like this book.
It literally was the way he looked at the world and blamed everybody else. I just don鈥檛 know. I feel like he didn鈥檛 learn anything. He went through all of these experiences and hardships, and it still sounded like he didn鈥檛 care. He just said he was upset that none of it worked for him.
June 13, 2023
I was very excited about this book, but it was not a very enjoyable read and a struggle to finish. Chandler was one of my favorite characters, but Matthew Perry is not one of my favorite actors anymore after this. He likes to tell you how rich he is, how many women he slept with and what a major superstar he was, and then about how he was almost always high, yet never on the set of Friends. It is a just a story about his addiction and his struggles in the end, and how he almost died a few times because of this and how he still seeks for the meaning of his life, so there is almost no ending and no message in here that I found, except that almost dying will let you kick any habit if you want... If this review is confusing, it is because the book was confusing for me... Not highly recommended.
Want to read
October 29, 2023I am a person who enjoys devouring memoirs. Usually, I finish reading a memoir or biography within a day. There is only one memoir I DNF'd in my entire life. It was the memoir by Matthew Perry.
I pre-ordered it on the first day of prebooking, got it on the day of publication, and started reading on that day itself. I was so sure that I would be one of the first people to review Perry's book on the publishing day. I was so excited to read his book, but sadly, I was not even able to finish the first chapter. I have easily breezed through even the most terribly written memoirs in my life. Then what happened in the case of Perry's book? Was Matthew Perry's writing so bad that I couldn't even tolerate 25 pages?
The answer to it is just one word - Chandler. If you ask me what is one of the best stressbusters I use during difficult times, my answer will be a couple of books and the sitcom - Friends (just like most of you reading this post).
I am not a person who likes sarcasm that much. Still, one of my favorite characters in Friends is Chandler. It was only his incredible acting adroitness that made me relish sarcasm.
I knew it might be chastising to rewatch Friends if I finished reading Perry's memoir cover to cover. The pains and perils he had to endure to entertain us will be desolating to read, and I had a feeling that seeing Chandler's character would bring more pain than happiness after finishing his book.
My selfishness to enjoy rewatching Friends preempted me from reading this book. Today, when I heard that Perry is no longer with us anymore, I picked this book again to read. I already know that this will be a complex memoir to read, and it will give me a painful experience and might hinder the way I enjoy rewatching Friends. But I still decided to go for it. I think at least I should try to finish reading it and post a review of it. I know I am a little late in doing this, as his book was published more than a year ago. Still, I feel that I should do at least this for someone who surprised us with his talent and entertained an entire generation with his versatility.
We all will miss you, Matthew Perry....
I pre-ordered it on the first day of prebooking, got it on the day of publication, and started reading on that day itself. I was so sure that I would be one of the first people to review Perry's book on the publishing day. I was so excited to read his book, but sadly, I was not even able to finish the first chapter. I have easily breezed through even the most terribly written memoirs in my life. Then what happened in the case of Perry's book? Was Matthew Perry's writing so bad that I couldn't even tolerate 25 pages?
The answer to it is just one word - Chandler. If you ask me what is one of the best stressbusters I use during difficult times, my answer will be a couple of books and the sitcom - Friends (just like most of you reading this post).
I am not a person who likes sarcasm that much. Still, one of my favorite characters in Friends is Chandler. It was only his incredible acting adroitness that made me relish sarcasm.
I knew it might be chastising to rewatch Friends if I finished reading Perry's memoir cover to cover. The pains and perils he had to endure to entertain us will be desolating to read, and I had a feeling that seeing Chandler's character would bring more pain than happiness after finishing his book.
My selfishness to enjoy rewatching Friends preempted me from reading this book. Today, when I heard that Perry is no longer with us anymore, I picked this book again to read. I already know that this will be a complex memoir to read, and it will give me a painful experience and might hinder the way I enjoy rewatching Friends. But I still decided to go for it. I think at least I should try to finish reading it and post a review of it. I know I am a little late in doing this, as his book was published more than a year ago. Still, I feel that I should do at least this for someone who surprised us with his talent and entertained an entire generation with his versatility.
We all will miss you, Matthew Perry....
December 2, 2023
鈥淚t is very odd to live in a world where if you died, it would shock people but surprise no one.鈥�
It鈥檚 dangerously easy to assume a degree of familiarity with the actor through knowing his adored character on the iconic TV show; to think that through seeing the face on the screen you have acquired some knowledge of the person behind it.
But Matthew Perry is not Chandler Bing; sarcasm they do share, but Perry, unlike Chandler who got his happy ending, was stuck in the loop of hurt and endless struggle with his titular 鈥渂ig terrible thing鈥� of losing control of his life to addiction. And so I, a huge Friends fan, did not pay much attention to this book until Perry鈥檚 untimely death put it on my radar and made me wonder about what he had to say 鈥� the real Matthew and not imaginary Chandler.
鈥淚 think you actually have to have all of your dreams come true to realize they are the wrong dreams.鈥�
鈥斺赌斺赌�
鈥淎ddiction is like the Joker. It just wants to see the whole world burn.鈥�
What I got from this book is not just a candid inside look at addiction but a curious combination of sarcastic self-deprecation and fragile yet considerable ego. Perry, like probably many of us, had his share of resentments and bitterness and insecurity, and all that ego, and even though this book might not make you actually *like* him, his perspective on the burden of addiction is very interesting.
鈥淏ut addiction wakes up before you do, and it wants you alone. Alcoholism will win every time. As soon as you raise your hand and say, 鈥淚鈥檓 having a problem,鈥� alcohol sneers, You鈥檙e gonna say something about it? Fine, I鈥檒l go away for a while. But I鈥檒l be back. It never goes away for good.鈥�
Perry uses a lot of bitter, dark humor to describe his struggles and successes alike. He鈥檚 got a cruel monkey on his back, the almost lifelong struggle with addiction, and he knows what it has cost him, literally and metaphorically. He can be bitter and angry and resentful, and he鈥檚 got a bit of a cruel streak when talking about others, but he can be just as ruthlessly brutal in judging himself as he is in judging others.
鈥淵ou can鈥檛 give away something you do not have. And most of the time I have these nagging thoughts: I鈥檓 not enough, I don鈥檛 matter, I am too needy. These thoughts make me uncomfortable. I need love, but I don鈥檛 trust it. If I drop my game, my Chandler, and show you who I really am, you might notice me, but worse, you might notice me and leave me. And I can鈥檛 have that. I won鈥檛 survive that. Not anymore. It will turn me into a speck of dust and annihilate me.鈥�
And he鈥檚 full of inner contradictions, both being merciless about his own mistakes and yet at times also being almost comically full of himself. And he is not actually excusing his often appalling behavior while looking for some explanations (which he finds plenty, the 鈥渦naccompanied minor鈥� he is, but he stops short of shifting the blame). He's showing us the raw ugly of how bad things got for him, the painful and pathetic intertwined, and that takes some courage indeed.
鈥淚 remember thinking, Man, no one taught me the rules of life. I was a complete mess of a person鈥攕elfish and narcissistic. Everything had to be about me, and I matched that with a really handy inferiority complex, an almost fatal combo. I was all about myself from the time I was ten years old, from that moment when I looked around and said, It鈥檚 every man for himself. I had to be so focused on me just to keep myself together.
But AA will teach you this is no way to live.鈥�
Now, with Perry dead at 54, not that long after this book came out, the optimistic end of this story acquires poignancy that otherwise would have been overshadowed by a bit of cheesiness. 鈥淎nd whenever whatever happens, just think, "What would Batman do?" and do that鈥�, he says in conclusion 鈥� and normally I鈥檇 laugh in a bit of second-hand embarrassment but now it brings out a lump in my throat despite all that self-proclaimed cynicism.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 believe in half-assing things anymore. The path of least resistance is boring, and scars are interesting鈥攖hey tell an honest story, and they are proof that a battle was fought, and in my case, hard-won.
I have many scars now.鈥�
Rest in peace, Matthew Perry. I hope you found your peace and calm in the end. You鈥檒l be missed.
鈥斺赌斺赌斺€斺赌斺赌�
Also posted on .
February 1, 2023
In many ways, Friends epitomized my early adulthood like no other television show. I was a senior in high school when it debuted and a late twenty-something when it ended, and I related to so much of what the characters experienced. The dating angst, the struggle for independence and professional success, the fight to stand up and speak out, the close friendships that feel more like family 鈥� I lived it, too.
And Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing was 鈥� perfection. I mean, could he have BEEN any funnier? (I know, I know. I didn鈥檛 quite hit the joke right. But could he BE any funnier isn鈥檛 in the correct verb tense for my review.)
But Perry鈥檚 memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, is nothing to laugh at. It鈥檚 a raw, honest tell-all of his struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. It鈥檚 not a happy story; Perry confronts his life head-on, and, in doing so, hopes to find peace and redemption. Though he does share some fun anecdotes from the set of Friends and run-ins with other celebrities, be aware that his substance abuse is what takes center stage.
And Perry doesn鈥檛 do himself any favors. His unflinching, matter-of-fact candor in the telling of his story reveals that he has done some bad, bad things. He hasn鈥檛 always been the nicest person, and he鈥檚 carried a lot of anger within. But he doesn鈥檛 hold back, I think, because he wants us to understand the how and the why of his addiction. Also so that maybe, hopefully, he can help someone who has hit the same level of low.
For this, Perry has my respect.
I listened to Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing on audio, and I definitely think it鈥檚 the way to go if you鈥檙e interested in Perry鈥檚 story. He narrates it himself, and hearing his familiar voice helps to appreciate where he鈥檚 coming from. I should point out, though, that Perry鈥檚 speech is noticeably slurred, which I鈥檓 guessing is an unfortunate result of his nearly lifelong battle with drugs and alcohol.
I have the impression that Perry has lost some fans because of this book, but he didn鈥檛 lose me. He is still, and will always be, my Chandler Bing.
And Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing was 鈥� perfection. I mean, could he have BEEN any funnier? (I know, I know. I didn鈥檛 quite hit the joke right. But could he BE any funnier isn鈥檛 in the correct verb tense for my review.)
But Perry鈥檚 memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, is nothing to laugh at. It鈥檚 a raw, honest tell-all of his struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. It鈥檚 not a happy story; Perry confronts his life head-on, and, in doing so, hopes to find peace and redemption. Though he does share some fun anecdotes from the set of Friends and run-ins with other celebrities, be aware that his substance abuse is what takes center stage.
And Perry doesn鈥檛 do himself any favors. His unflinching, matter-of-fact candor in the telling of his story reveals that he has done some bad, bad things. He hasn鈥檛 always been the nicest person, and he鈥檚 carried a lot of anger within. But he doesn鈥檛 hold back, I think, because he wants us to understand the how and the why of his addiction. Also so that maybe, hopefully, he can help someone who has hit the same level of low.
For this, Perry has my respect.
I listened to Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing on audio, and I definitely think it鈥檚 the way to go if you鈥檙e interested in Perry鈥檚 story. He narrates it himself, and hearing his familiar voice helps to appreciate where he鈥檚 coming from. I should point out, though, that Perry鈥檚 speech is noticeably slurred, which I鈥檓 guessing is an unfortunate result of his nearly lifelong battle with drugs and alcohol.
I have the impression that Perry has lost some fans because of this book, but he didn鈥檛 lose me. He is still, and will always be, my Chandler Bing.
October 29, 2023
Why I chose to read this book:
1. initially, I was on the fence about picking this book up, because I enjoy watching Friends reruns, and I've been aware of 's "Big Terrible Thing" for many years. Plus, he's Canadian! But when my sister gave it as a Christmas gift, that made it easier to get off said fence; and,
2. September 2023 is my "Memoirs & Biographies" Month!
Praises:
1. Perry gives a graphic picture of just how powerful addiction is! Going through 40 years of slowly killing himself, there were times, I'm sure, that many people, including myself, just wanted to shake the man and give him a wake-up call;
2, his childhood while growing up in Canada was quite enlightening. As a Canadian myself, I was fascinated that his mother was a Press Secretary to the late former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, and that Perry beat up current Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, back in Grade 5 (Perry now says he doesn't remember doing that!) His stepdad, Keith Morrison, was a well-known Canadian newsman back in the 70s;
3. although this memoir mostly depicts Perry struggling with his demons, he also shares insights into his years playing "Chandler Bing" on Friends;
4. his trademark sarcastic wit captions 16 pages of photos and,
5. I actually cried reading Perry's profound spiritual revelation that got him to quit drinking. Dolly Parton's song The Seeker has been on my mind since!
Niggles:
1. this was a confusing read at the best of times since most of it is not in chronological order, leading to some massive repetition;
2. Perry's ad nauseam hyperbole got a little tiresome. Some examples include:
- his personal references to himself as a "huge star" with a "huge house/apartment"
- "most wonderful woman on the planet"
- "most beloved sitcom in history"
3. at times, Perry's writing in the hardcopy comes off as sounding arrogant (does the audiobook sound more humble?); and,
4. what's with the "out of left field" jabs at Keanu Reeves? (Online references has Perry saying it was "mean" of him, and he plans on removing these comments from future editions. Stay tuned!)
Overall Thoughts:
I won't even pretend to totally understand how powerful alcoholism and drug addiction can be, but Perry's story blows my mind! This memoir should scare anyone from wanting to go down that dangerous road. Just wish he had a co-author to help organize his thoughts.
After living a life of hell, I'm relieved to read that Perry has found love, hope and courage and is living his life one day at a time. I only hope that he can keep at it.
October 28, 2023: RIP Mattie.
1. initially, I was on the fence about picking this book up, because I enjoy watching Friends reruns, and I've been aware of 's "Big Terrible Thing" for many years. Plus, he's Canadian! But when my sister gave it as a Christmas gift, that made it easier to get off said fence; and,
2. September 2023 is my "Memoirs & Biographies" Month!
Praises:
1. Perry gives a graphic picture of just how powerful addiction is! Going through 40 years of slowly killing himself, there were times, I'm sure, that many people, including myself, just wanted to shake the man and give him a wake-up call;
2, his childhood while growing up in Canada was quite enlightening. As a Canadian myself, I was fascinated that his mother was a Press Secretary to the late former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau, and that Perry beat up current Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, back in Grade 5 (Perry now says he doesn't remember doing that!) His stepdad, Keith Morrison, was a well-known Canadian newsman back in the 70s;
3. although this memoir mostly depicts Perry struggling with his demons, he also shares insights into his years playing "Chandler Bing" on Friends;
4. his trademark sarcastic wit captions 16 pages of photos and,
5. I actually cried reading Perry's profound spiritual revelation that got him to quit drinking. Dolly Parton's song The Seeker has been on my mind since!
Niggles:
1. this was a confusing read at the best of times since most of it is not in chronological order, leading to some massive repetition;
2. Perry's ad nauseam hyperbole got a little tiresome. Some examples include:
- his personal references to himself as a "huge star" with a "huge house/apartment"
- "most wonderful woman on the planet"
- "most beloved sitcom in history"
3. at times, Perry's writing in the hardcopy comes off as sounding arrogant (does the audiobook sound more humble?); and,
4. what's with the "out of left field" jabs at Keanu Reeves? (Online references has Perry saying it was "mean" of him, and he plans on removing these comments from future editions. Stay tuned!)
Overall Thoughts:
I won't even pretend to totally understand how powerful alcoholism and drug addiction can be, but Perry's story blows my mind! This memoir should scare anyone from wanting to go down that dangerous road. Just wish he had a co-author to help organize his thoughts.
After living a life of hell, I'm relieved to read that Perry has found love, hope and courage and is living his life one day at a time. I only hope that he can keep at it.
October 28, 2023: RIP Mattie.
January 10, 2023
i will never see this show the same way again.
matty (yes i call him matty now. we've been through a lot together.) really out here name dropping the people he's slept with, how far he got with Gwyneth Paltrow, which movies he was in that he thinks sucked and exactly how much he made on each of them. i mean, cough cough it's something a woman could never do (im sorry im sorry im putting my feminist hat away now).
but seriously this memoir in two words: honest and shameless. it's also messy- figuratively and literally. this timeline was a bit all over the place. this book is not perfect and neither is he.. neither am i btw (ik it's a shock to u all bc im pretty much flawless in every aspect i know). u may not like him at all parts of the book (i didn't), but that's the point. addiction can make people do things they never thought they'd do. no matter what, Matthew Perry will always be my Chandler Bing.
could i BE any more in love with this book?
matty (yes i call him matty now. we've been through a lot together.) really out here name dropping the people he's slept with, how far he got with Gwyneth Paltrow, which movies he was in that he thinks sucked and exactly how much he made on each of them. i mean, cough cough it's something a woman could never do (im sorry im sorry im putting my feminist hat away now).
but seriously this memoir in two words: honest and shameless. it's also messy- figuratively and literally. this timeline was a bit all over the place. this book is not perfect and neither is he.. neither am i btw (ik it's a shock to u all bc im pretty much flawless in every aspect i know). u may not like him at all parts of the book (i didn't), but that's the point. addiction can make people do things they never thought they'd do. no matter what, Matthew Perry will always be my Chandler Bing.
could i BE any more in love with this book?
August 15, 2024
Could Matthew Perry鈥檚 memoir BE any sadder?
Recently, I have found myself gravitating towards listening to memoirs during my commute. While most memoirs I have read include some elements of abuse or trauma (incidents that actually happened to real people, often mimicked in the fictional plots of psychological thrillers), this one hit me HARD.
I knew this book would be tear jerker, as it was written after Perry made it through his lifelong addiction to drugs and alcohol, only to succumb to the disease a little less than a year later. But I think that knowing he didn鈥檛 make it and hearing his voice, transformed this book into something incredibly sad, instead of uplifting.
Perry details his struggle with sleeping, going as far back as a colicky infant and being treated with barbiturates by doctors. Can you imagine what that might do to a baby鈥檚 brain? Then he experiences abandonment when his parents divorce, his father moves to California, and he doesn鈥檛 see him for years. His parents actually put him on a plane by himself at five years old to fly to visit his dad. Can you imagine how frightening that would be?! He worried his whole life that he was not enough for anyone, often ending relationships to avoid being hurt. He was terrified to be alone.
Consequently, he sought attention through making people laugh, an ability that helped make him famous on the sitcom Friends. However, his addictions negatively effected his performances. Perry was a true addict, suffering from the terrible disease of alcoholism and drug use, a deadly habit that would ultimately kill him.
Throughout his struggle, he found a new purpose in helping other alcoholics and addicts stay sober. He just couldn鈥檛 find a way to save himself. While he made us all laugh, he was struggling to combat his own demons.
As a result of reading Perry鈥檚 memoir, I am able to see addicts in a new light and empathize with their inner struggle to reach sobriety.
Perry鈥檚 memoir is incredibly thoughtful and well-written. He deserved a better ending.
*Edited to state that I am horrified by the recent news that five people have been charged in connection with Perry's death. They took advantage of an addict for their own benefit. This is reprehensible!
5/5 stars
Recently, I have found myself gravitating towards listening to memoirs during my commute. While most memoirs I have read include some elements of abuse or trauma (incidents that actually happened to real people, often mimicked in the fictional plots of psychological thrillers), this one hit me HARD.
I knew this book would be tear jerker, as it was written after Perry made it through his lifelong addiction to drugs and alcohol, only to succumb to the disease a little less than a year later. But I think that knowing he didn鈥檛 make it and hearing his voice, transformed this book into something incredibly sad, instead of uplifting.
Perry details his struggle with sleeping, going as far back as a colicky infant and being treated with barbiturates by doctors. Can you imagine what that might do to a baby鈥檚 brain? Then he experiences abandonment when his parents divorce, his father moves to California, and he doesn鈥檛 see him for years. His parents actually put him on a plane by himself at five years old to fly to visit his dad. Can you imagine how frightening that would be?! He worried his whole life that he was not enough for anyone, often ending relationships to avoid being hurt. He was terrified to be alone.
Consequently, he sought attention through making people laugh, an ability that helped make him famous on the sitcom Friends. However, his addictions negatively effected his performances. Perry was a true addict, suffering from the terrible disease of alcoholism and drug use, a deadly habit that would ultimately kill him.
Throughout his struggle, he found a new purpose in helping other alcoholics and addicts stay sober. He just couldn鈥檛 find a way to save himself. While he made us all laugh, he was struggling to combat his own demons.
As a result of reading Perry鈥檚 memoir, I am able to see addicts in a new light and empathize with their inner struggle to reach sobriety.
Perry鈥檚 memoir is incredibly thoughtful and well-written. He deserved a better ending.
*Edited to state that I am horrified by the recent news that five people have been charged in connection with Perry's death. They took advantage of an addict for their own benefit. This is reprehensible!
5/5 stars
December 16, 2022
You ever wonder what a book would be like if a crass narcissist wrote it? Well, if you鈥檙e interested, read this one. I used to enjoy Friends but wasn鈥檛 in love but I was excited to learn more about Perry. What I discovered is he is an arrogant POS. He constantly had me rolling my eyes throughout the book. He鈥檚 amazing, wonderful, the best, the most talented, the funniest, the most creative, he鈥檚 athletic, he鈥檚 so delusional it鈥檚 painful to listen to鈥� don鈥檛 get me wrong I am pained to see anyone who has to go through what he did but the only reason this gets hype is A) who he was and B) that nobody knew. We also have to listen to him rant about how sexy he is and all the women he banged and couldn鈥檛 care less about鈥� ugh. I don鈥檛 know why I continued but I鈥檓 not a quitter so I finished this POS memoir.
It鈥檚 not well written as he changes from past to present and jumps around so much that I had to figure out what year we we were in. Also, it鈥檚 very repetitive to the point where I had to check and make sure I wasn鈥檛 replaying a chapter鈥� he blames everyone and makes excuses for everything.
鈥淚 sometimes do want to tell God to go fuck himself for making my road so hard.鈥�
鈥淎nd if you鈥檙e going to blame your parents for the bad stuff, you also have to give them credit for the good stuff.鈥�
He鈥檚 even blaming God as he seems to run out of people. He didn鈥檛 grow up with struggles and had a loving family. Yes his parents split up when he was a baby but they were loving. He鈥檚 a know it all where he even opens his own rehab named none other than the Perry house to help other addicts.. the irony. But because he makes it so expensive he has to cut his losses and get rid of it. This memoir is a pity party. Pity me, poor ol me. 鈥淚鈥檓 not good enough/ I鈥檓 afraid of being alone鈥� are two things he says so often that if you played a drinking game on those quotes you鈥檇 be drunk by the end of the chapter.
I can keep rambling. But point is he鈥檚 an a鈥攈ole. Addiction is real and anyone can fall victim but I guarantee if a recovering addict who is a non celebrity wrote a memoir it would be more enjoyable because I guarantee they are thankful, grateful from the help of nurses/doctors, and open to continue learning and working on themselves.
1 猸愶笍 for Matthew鈥檚 effort. He鈥檇 LOVE a star鈥� he鈥檚 one of those kids in elementary school that鈥檚 ecstatic for a participation ribbon or 5th place medal. Ok I鈥檓 done roasting him鈥�
It鈥檚 not well written as he changes from past to present and jumps around so much that I had to figure out what year we we were in. Also, it鈥檚 very repetitive to the point where I had to check and make sure I wasn鈥檛 replaying a chapter鈥� he blames everyone and makes excuses for everything.
鈥淚 sometimes do want to tell God to go fuck himself for making my road so hard.鈥�
鈥淎nd if you鈥檙e going to blame your parents for the bad stuff, you also have to give them credit for the good stuff.鈥�
He鈥檚 even blaming God as he seems to run out of people. He didn鈥檛 grow up with struggles and had a loving family. Yes his parents split up when he was a baby but they were loving. He鈥檚 a know it all where he even opens his own rehab named none other than the Perry house to help other addicts.. the irony. But because he makes it so expensive he has to cut his losses and get rid of it. This memoir is a pity party. Pity me, poor ol me. 鈥淚鈥檓 not good enough/ I鈥檓 afraid of being alone鈥� are two things he says so often that if you played a drinking game on those quotes you鈥檇 be drunk by the end of the chapter.
I can keep rambling. But point is he鈥檚 an a鈥攈ole. Addiction is real and anyone can fall victim but I guarantee if a recovering addict who is a non celebrity wrote a memoir it would be more enjoyable because I guarantee they are thankful, grateful from the help of nurses/doctors, and open to continue learning and working on themselves.
1 猸愶笍 for Matthew鈥檚 effort. He鈥檇 LOVE a star鈥� he鈥檚 one of those kids in elementary school that鈥檚 ecstatic for a participation ribbon or 5th place medal. Ok I鈥檓 done roasting him鈥�
March 7, 2023
The book starts with a bang: Perry is in hospital, fighting for his life. A clever move, as you鈥檙e immediately engaged. Parts of the books continued to be engaging, but after a while it got a bit repetitive to read about his struggles with addiction. Really, I felt it was more a book about this than really getting to know Perry. If you鈥檙e looking for information about friends, there isn鈥檛 much about his time there. The book isn鈥檛 bad, but not very good either.
November 17, 2023
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry is a Straightforward and Frank Memoir!
鈥淗i, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.鈥� ~ Matthew Perry
Believe me when I tell you I had absolutely no intention of ever reading this book. I thought Matthew Perry was just another Hollywood bad-boy actor who took life to excess, lived to write a book about it, and moved on. Then he died.
I know this sounds crazy but hearing about Matthew's death broke me. It was a trigger that brought back painful memories of my brother Denny's struggle with alcoholism. He fought so damn hard to get to the other side of this disease but he couldn't reach it. His death from cirrhosis of the liver at age thirty-nine was a tragedy my family has quietly lived with every day since his death. A small piece of each of us went with him when he left us.
"Alcoholism wants you alone, it wants you sick, and then it wants to kill you."
I watched a YouTube video of Matthew's interview on Q with Tom Power filmed shortly after Friend and Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing was published. What I heard was shocking and shortly afterwards, I knew I wanted to listen to Matthew's story in his own words. I finished the audiobook in two long listens. It was a straightforward and frank first-person narration, a bit repetitive and long winded at times, but compelling none-the-less, with years of details to digest.
No one had any idea how out-of-control Matthew's life had become. Those details were Matthew's deepest darkest secrets that he kept locked away inside his head for decades. His body was ravaged by alcohol and drug abuse and literally taken to the edges of death at one point. How he ever got through his addiction to the other side is truly a miracle.
"Alcoholism doesn't care. It's cunning, baffling, and powerful...and it never goes away."
From my point-of-view, writing his story gave Matthew peace, the desire to offer help to others struggling with sobriety, and visible humility in knowing he would always have the disease of addiction and alcoholism. I do recommend Friends and Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing but with caution. It's only Matthew's story, one that eventually ended well.
And then it didn't...
In 1956, the American Medical Association identified alcoholism as a disease.
Rest in Peace, Matty!
3.75猸恟ounded up!
鈥淗i, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.鈥� ~ Matthew Perry
Believe me when I tell you I had absolutely no intention of ever reading this book. I thought Matthew Perry was just another Hollywood bad-boy actor who took life to excess, lived to write a book about it, and moved on. Then he died.
I know this sounds crazy but hearing about Matthew's death broke me. It was a trigger that brought back painful memories of my brother Denny's struggle with alcoholism. He fought so damn hard to get to the other side of this disease but he couldn't reach it. His death from cirrhosis of the liver at age thirty-nine was a tragedy my family has quietly lived with every day since his death. A small piece of each of us went with him when he left us.
"Alcoholism wants you alone, it wants you sick, and then it wants to kill you."
I watched a YouTube video of Matthew's interview on Q with Tom Power filmed shortly after Friend and Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing was published. What I heard was shocking and shortly afterwards, I knew I wanted to listen to Matthew's story in his own words. I finished the audiobook in two long listens. It was a straightforward and frank first-person narration, a bit repetitive and long winded at times, but compelling none-the-less, with years of details to digest.
No one had any idea how out-of-control Matthew's life had become. Those details were Matthew's deepest darkest secrets that he kept locked away inside his head for decades. His body was ravaged by alcohol and drug abuse and literally taken to the edges of death at one point. How he ever got through his addiction to the other side is truly a miracle.
"Alcoholism doesn't care. It's cunning, baffling, and powerful...and it never goes away."
From my point-of-view, writing his story gave Matthew peace, the desire to offer help to others struggling with sobriety, and visible humility in knowing he would always have the disease of addiction and alcoholism. I do recommend Friends and Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing but with caution. It's only Matthew's story, one that eventually ended well.
And then it didn't...
In 1956, the American Medical Association identified alcoholism as a disease.
Rest in Peace, Matty!
3.75猸恟ounded up!
January 24, 2023
If you're a big fan of Chandler Bing, Matthew Perry or both... prepare to have a reality check with this book.
First, I want to give props to Perry to bringing to light his battle with addiction. It's not a pretty journey to say the least, and major trigger warning to anyone who suffers from addiction of any kind. But he told his story with the Chandler Bing dark humor that we (most of us) know and love.
However, I think we repeated the same part of the story over and over again. He struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol, talked about his family, friends, girlfriends and hook ups, rehab, and how he is Chandler Bing wherever he goes (is that a blessing or a curse... who knows) but not everyone cares. Also threw some celebrities names under the bus... but I'm writing that one off as a joke that didn't quite land.
Coming into this book, I was expecting all of the answers to my questions about Matthew Perry's addiction and troubles he faced while shooting Friends. I mean, Chandler is my favorite character and Friends is one of my favorite shows, who wouldn't want to know? I got my answers, and a lot more detail about hook up culture, infatuations with certain women, and "oh my god can you believe I ever let Julia Roberts go?"
I've seen criticism from the women mentioned in this book that they wish their lives weren't written out on the page for all of the world to see. I get that. If I was one of them, I would be just as upset. There were a lot of details that didn't need to be included. It's like we walked through the start and end of every major (and some minor) relationship he has ever had. And they all end due to his insecurity with women leaving him, so he leaves them first.
There we other parts of this book that were inspiring. His come to God moment where he finally realized he needed to turn his life around or he was going to lose his life, it's a perspective I haven't heard from before and these parts really spoke to me.
I really enjoyed the pictures he included. Sometimes pictures can say a lot more than words ever can. The one that made me cry was the one where he said he wished he had a kid of his own.... it still gets me, because I think he'd be a great dad.
Overall, I'd say that if you're even remotely interested in Matthew Perry to give this a listen (he narrates the audiobook, so the jokes are especially good). While some parts aren't for everyone, I think everyone can get something out of it.
First, I want to give props to Perry to bringing to light his battle with addiction. It's not a pretty journey to say the least, and major trigger warning to anyone who suffers from addiction of any kind. But he told his story with the Chandler Bing dark humor that we (most of us) know and love.
However, I think we repeated the same part of the story over and over again. He struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol, talked about his family, friends, girlfriends and hook ups, rehab, and how he is Chandler Bing wherever he goes (is that a blessing or a curse... who knows) but not everyone cares. Also threw some celebrities names under the bus... but I'm writing that one off as a joke that didn't quite land.
Coming into this book, I was expecting all of the answers to my questions about Matthew Perry's addiction and troubles he faced while shooting Friends. I mean, Chandler is my favorite character and Friends is one of my favorite shows, who wouldn't want to know? I got my answers, and a lot more detail about hook up culture, infatuations with certain women, and "oh my god can you believe I ever let Julia Roberts go?"
I've seen criticism from the women mentioned in this book that they wish their lives weren't written out on the page for all of the world to see. I get that. If I was one of them, I would be just as upset. There were a lot of details that didn't need to be included. It's like we walked through the start and end of every major (and some minor) relationship he has ever had. And they all end due to his insecurity with women leaving him, so he leaves them first.
There we other parts of this book that were inspiring. His come to God moment where he finally realized he needed to turn his life around or he was going to lose his life, it's a perspective I haven't heard from before and these parts really spoke to me.
I really enjoyed the pictures he included. Sometimes pictures can say a lot more than words ever can. The one that made me cry was the one where he said he wished he had a kid of his own.... it still gets me, because I think he'd be a great dad.
Overall, I'd say that if you're even remotely interested in Matthew Perry to give this a listen (he narrates the audiobook, so the jokes are especially good). While some parts aren't for everyone, I think everyone can get something out of it.
January 27, 2024
It's really unfortunate that such a talented actor seems to be struggling so much with his addiction and self-worth. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry is a memoir about the actor's life. The book is interesting in that it provides a glimpse into the darker side of celebrity.
Perry tells the story of his life - from his difficult childhood to his struggles with addiction to his time on the set of Friends. It's an honest, candid account that I am glad he was alive to make.
However, the content of this memoir is frankly concerning. Perry talks about fame, women, and even treatment like an addict would. And I'm aware that once you are an addict, you are an addict for life. But he does not seem to have learned or grown from what he has gone through. His lack of self-awareness is disappointing. He makes a lot of really weird comments about people (Keanu Reeves, which was just bizarre) and about Montreal women being ugly? Rude.
鉂� Weird comments about Keanu Reeves (not once, but twice)
鉂� How he talked about celebrity women was straight off revolting. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz. They are prizes to him. Not actual human beings.
鉂� EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO.
He came across as hugely self-centered. Friends was a huge hit while it was on the air, but he acts as if he was God's gift to acting and that he changed comedy forever which I don't think is true. He was entertaining as Chandler, but the other performers contributed just as much to Friends' popularity.
His attitude towards women in general was disappointing at best (outright misogynistic, if I'm being honest). Overall he came across as a professional victim with a lot of magical thinking patterns. I hope he gets the therapy and treatment he deserves and has someone to call him out on his BS.
Overall, I don't recommend it and I wish I hadn't read it.
Perry tells the story of his life - from his difficult childhood to his struggles with addiction to his time on the set of Friends. It's an honest, candid account that I am glad he was alive to make.
However, the content of this memoir is frankly concerning. Perry talks about fame, women, and even treatment like an addict would. And I'm aware that once you are an addict, you are an addict for life. But he does not seem to have learned or grown from what he has gone through. His lack of self-awareness is disappointing. He makes a lot of really weird comments about people (Keanu Reeves, which was just bizarre) and about Montreal women being ugly? Rude.
鉂� Weird comments about Keanu Reeves (not once, but twice)
鉂� How he talked about celebrity women was straight off revolting. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz. They are prizes to him. Not actual human beings.
鉂� EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO. EGO.
He came across as hugely self-centered. Friends was a huge hit while it was on the air, but he acts as if he was God's gift to acting and that he changed comedy forever which I don't think is true. He was entertaining as Chandler, but the other performers contributed just as much to Friends' popularity.
His attitude towards women in general was disappointing at best (outright misogynistic, if I'm being honest). Overall he came across as a professional victim with a lot of magical thinking patterns. I hope he gets the therapy and treatment he deserves and has someone to call him out on his BS.
Overall, I don't recommend it and I wish I hadn't read it.
June 18, 2023
Extra star for the simple fact, that he鈥檚 a beloved FRIEND. 鉂わ笍 I鈥檝e been a fan since the beginning and find myself rewatching regularly over the years. 馃槏 But this book is downright depressing. 馃ズ It鈥檚 a retelling of his continuous struggle with drugs and alcohol. 馃槩 And him never feeling good enough. 馃槶鈽癸笍
Want to read
October 31, 2022Could I BE more thrilled to read this memoir! (I bet you read that in Chandler Bing's voice 馃槈)
I know literally nothing about this book but I WANT IT! 馃ぉ
I know literally nothing about this book but I WANT IT! 馃ぉ
November 6, 2022
fuck me he鈥檚 insufferable. i loved him but my god what a prick.
October 29, 2023
RIP
I'm genuinely worried about Matthew Perry.
I like most kids who grew up in the 1990's love FRIENDS. I regularly quote lines from it...much to the annoyance of my family. Matthew Perry is of course best known for playing Chandler Bing( the 2nd best character on the show...Phoebe is #1) I knew that Matthew Perry had a drug problem back in the day( I watched the True Hollywood Story about FRIENDS) but I had assumed that he was sober but apparently not.
Don't read this book if you want some fun stories about the hijinks the cast got up to. This book is a sad and unflinching memoir about Matthew's decades long fight with addiction and low self-esteem. Matthew details his very very self destructive love life, he loves women until they love him back but he still claims to want a wife and kids. In my personal opinion even at the big age of 53, Matthew is nowhere near ready for kids. In fact unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised to hear one day soon that Matthew has overdosed and died.
This book is harrowing. It's rare that I'm moved to feel sorry for someone worth $80 million but God! Matthew Perry is a lonely sad man. He has a loving family and great friends but he still feels like no one loves him. This book isn't for everyone. Matthew has a dark sense of humor and it can come off as rude and crass but I share his sense of humor so despite the dark nature of this book...I laughed a lot.
I hope Matthew Perry lives a long and sober life because he seems like a nice(but extremely sarcastic) person...and because FRIENDS is one of my all time favorite shows and I just want everyone in that cast to be happy...I also wanna be best friends with Lisa Kudrow but that's beside the point.
This book is super hyped so I don't need to recommend it to you but it's a good if not exactly enjoyable read.
I'm genuinely worried about Matthew Perry.
I like most kids who grew up in the 1990's love FRIENDS. I regularly quote lines from it...much to the annoyance of my family. Matthew Perry is of course best known for playing Chandler Bing( the 2nd best character on the show...Phoebe is #1) I knew that Matthew Perry had a drug problem back in the day( I watched the True Hollywood Story about FRIENDS) but I had assumed that he was sober but apparently not.
Don't read this book if you want some fun stories about the hijinks the cast got up to. This book is a sad and unflinching memoir about Matthew's decades long fight with addiction and low self-esteem. Matthew details his very very self destructive love life, he loves women until they love him back but he still claims to want a wife and kids. In my personal opinion even at the big age of 53, Matthew is nowhere near ready for kids. In fact unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised to hear one day soon that Matthew has overdosed and died.
This book is harrowing. It's rare that I'm moved to feel sorry for someone worth $80 million but God! Matthew Perry is a lonely sad man. He has a loving family and great friends but he still feels like no one loves him. This book isn't for everyone. Matthew has a dark sense of humor and it can come off as rude and crass but I share his sense of humor so despite the dark nature of this book...I laughed a lot.
I hope Matthew Perry lives a long and sober life because he seems like a nice(but extremely sarcastic) person...and because FRIENDS is one of my all time favorite shows and I just want everyone in that cast to be happy...I also wanna be best friends with Lisa Kudrow but that's beside the point.
This book is super hyped so I don't need to recommend it to you but it's a good if not exactly enjoyable read.
May 16, 2024
Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty.
And I should be dead.
This is as hilarious as it is devastating. It is deeply saddening to find out that someone who has made you laugh so many times had been so troubled his entire life. Matthew Perry was one of my favorite actors growing up, and the best character on FRIENDS. I knew that he had trouble with drugs and alcohol, but the extent of it was truly horrifying to read.
His addiction destroyed his physical health to the point of permanent damage. It hadn't been fame or money, or even the struggles of the industry that drove him to it, but his mental health. He had been struggling with a lot of issues since he was a child. Yet, in spite of the many adversities he talks about in his memoir, he still managed to make a joke out of every single one of them.
He was truly one of the funniest people in the world. I was truly devastated to hear that he had passed away.
And I should be dead.
This is as hilarious as it is devastating. It is deeply saddening to find out that someone who has made you laugh so many times had been so troubled his entire life. Matthew Perry was one of my favorite actors growing up, and the best character on FRIENDS. I knew that he had trouble with drugs and alcohol, but the extent of it was truly horrifying to read.
His addiction destroyed his physical health to the point of permanent damage. It hadn't been fame or money, or even the struggles of the industry that drove him to it, but his mental health. He had been struggling with a lot of issues since he was a child. Yet, in spite of the many adversities he talks about in his memoir, he still managed to make a joke out of every single one of them.
He was truly one of the funniest people in the world. I was truly devastated to hear that he had passed away.
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