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♥︎ Heather �(Semi-Hiatus)'s Reviews > Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
by
by
“It is very odd to live in a world where if you died, it would shock people but surprise no one.�
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
⚠️⚠️🚨First- SPOILERS AHEAD.🚨⚠️⚠️
edit- I’m watching the documentary on peacock Matthew Perry a Hollywood Tragedy and omg!! I don’t follow Hollywood news too often so I’m just hearing about these doctors that over prescribed ketamine to Perry causing his death.
And their evil text messages talking about they know it’s not how it’s prescribed and let’s find out how much this moron will pay for the ketamine. I hope they go to prison!! Pieces of shit! These are mf medical doctors? Scumbags.
Lemme just start by saying that it has been a long while since I have sat at my desk either listening or reading a book with tears streaming down my face. Never because of a memoir - this is a first for me.
My whole reason behind wanting to read Matthew's memoir is because I wanted to get to know a little more about him , besides what I knew which was essentially nothing other than he was in a few movies/shows I watched- and of course as the face of Chandler Bing.
There's several Hollywood stars out there that I have known to have an addiction problem, either because they died from it or back when I read gossip magazines while sipping my wine I would shake my head and think to myself- mmm mmm what a shame. How can you want to destroy yourself when you have everything... Obviously, now I know that is ignorant thinking and addiction doesn't just come for the poor and 'hopeless' and not just the middle class who are working paycheck to paycheck. It can come for anyone. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and as Perry said - PATIENT. It will wait, and it will continue to come for you.
I think this especially hit so hard for me, because I am familiar with the rooms of AA, NA, and ALANON. I have known many people who have battled addiction and it is no easy feat.
Please keep in mind that if you are a recovering addict or have family/friends recovering some of the content in this book may be triggering.
Matthew Perry gives a very transparent, raw, emotional and painful look at his life as he battled through addiction in this autobiography- not just in substance form but in the form of wanting love, of using sex at times as a means to cope. Of the feelings of abandonment, of despair, of heartache, desperation and of hope.
A truly exposed look into his life.
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "I was lost. There was nowhere to turn. Everywhere I tried to hide, there I was. Alcoholics hate two things; the way things are and change. I knew something had to change- I wasn't suicidal, but I was dying- but I was too scared to do anything about it."
"I can't stop. And if I didn't get ahold of this soon, it was going to kill me. I had a monster in my brain, a monster who wanted to get me alone, and convince me to have that first drink or pill, and then that monster would engulf me."
"Panic set in. I was not high. There was nothing separating me from me. I felt like a little kid scared of monsters in the dark. But was I the monster?"
"As I sat there puffing on a Marlboro, a light snow began to fall, brining on an intense hush, as though the universe was patiently listening to my head and heart.
I wonder what the universe heard. "
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
Still, as I sit here and try to put this review together, I find myself with tears in my eyes and my head in my hands as hearing these words pour out from someone in what I would say reads pretty much like how it sounds when you tell your story at an AA meeting- all the really bad gritty details and it just pains me so. Especially, moreover now that he has left this earth. It's a death that I find haunting in a way, similar to how I felt with some other Hollywood stars. As I expected before starting this book, it feels very surreal.
He touches a lot on this loneliness that he felt from a very young age, and I am a firm believer in the FACT that addiction is a disease and not a choice- I also though think that when something traumatic happens when you are very young it can trigger something inside of you- I'm no PhD so I'm not sure if that's contradicting or if they can go hand and hand.
But he said things that hurt deep down in my soul because I understand on a basic human level and I do hope that where ever it is we go when we leave earth that he is finally at peace there.
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "I was also so lonely that it hurt; I could feel the loneliness in my bones. On the outside, I looked like the luckiest man alive, so there were only a few people I could complain to without being told to shut up, and even then... nothing could fill the hole inside of me."
"Out back, as I waited for something to come to me, anything that might make things better, instead I once again heard the sound of coyotes. "
"No, it's the sound of me, alone, fending off the demons for one more night. They'd won. And I knew I'd lost as I headed back up to my lonely bedroom to fend off those demons and negotiated sleep one more time."
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "Do you know what Saint Peter says to everyone who tries to get into heaven?" When I looked blankly, the man who once was president said, "Peter says, 'Don't you have any scars?' And when most would respond proudly, 'Well no, no I don't, Peter says, 'Why not? Was there nothing worth fighting for?"
"I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful."
⚠️⚠️🚨First- SPOILERS AHEAD.🚨⚠️⚠️
edit- I’m watching the documentary on peacock Matthew Perry a Hollywood Tragedy and omg!! I don’t follow Hollywood news too often so I’m just hearing about these doctors that over prescribed ketamine to Perry causing his death.
And their evil text messages talking about they know it’s not how it’s prescribed and let’s find out how much this moron will pay for the ketamine. I hope they go to prison!! Pieces of shit! These are mf medical doctors? Scumbags.
Lemme just start by saying that it has been a long while since I have sat at my desk either listening or reading a book with tears streaming down my face. Never because of a memoir - this is a first for me.
My whole reason behind wanting to read Matthew's memoir is because I wanted to get to know a little more about him , besides what I knew which was essentially nothing other than he was in a few movies/shows I watched- and of course as the face of Chandler Bing.
There's several Hollywood stars out there that I have known to have an addiction problem, either because they died from it or back when I read gossip magazines while sipping my wine I would shake my head and think to myself- mmm mmm what a shame. How can you want to destroy yourself when you have everything... Obviously, now I know that is ignorant thinking and addiction doesn't just come for the poor and 'hopeless' and not just the middle class who are working paycheck to paycheck. It can come for anyone. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and as Perry said - PATIENT. It will wait, and it will continue to come for you.
I think this especially hit so hard for me, because I am familiar with the rooms of AA, NA, and ALANON. I have known many people who have battled addiction and it is no easy feat.
Please keep in mind that if you are a recovering addict or have family/friends recovering some of the content in this book may be triggering.
Matthew Perry gives a very transparent, raw, emotional and painful look at his life as he battled through addiction in this autobiography- not just in substance form but in the form of wanting love, of using sex at times as a means to cope. Of the feelings of abandonment, of despair, of heartache, desperation and of hope.
A truly exposed look into his life.
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "I was lost. There was nowhere to turn. Everywhere I tried to hide, there I was. Alcoholics hate two things; the way things are and change. I knew something had to change- I wasn't suicidal, but I was dying- but I was too scared to do anything about it."
"I can't stop. And if I didn't get ahold of this soon, it was going to kill me. I had a monster in my brain, a monster who wanted to get me alone, and convince me to have that first drink or pill, and then that monster would engulf me."
"Panic set in. I was not high. There was nothing separating me from me. I felt like a little kid scared of monsters in the dark. But was I the monster?"
"As I sat there puffing on a Marlboro, a light snow began to fall, brining on an intense hush, as though the universe was patiently listening to my head and heart.
I wonder what the universe heard. "
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
Still, as I sit here and try to put this review together, I find myself with tears in my eyes and my head in my hands as hearing these words pour out from someone in what I would say reads pretty much like how it sounds when you tell your story at an AA meeting- all the really bad gritty details and it just pains me so. Especially, moreover now that he has left this earth. It's a death that I find haunting in a way, similar to how I felt with some other Hollywood stars. As I expected before starting this book, it feels very surreal.
He touches a lot on this loneliness that he felt from a very young age, and I am a firm believer in the FACT that addiction is a disease and not a choice- I also though think that when something traumatic happens when you are very young it can trigger something inside of you- I'm no PhD so I'm not sure if that's contradicting or if they can go hand and hand.
But he said things that hurt deep down in my soul because I understand on a basic human level and I do hope that where ever it is we go when we leave earth that he is finally at peace there.
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "I was also so lonely that it hurt; I could feel the loneliness in my bones. On the outside, I looked like the luckiest man alive, so there were only a few people I could complain to without being told to shut up, and even then... nothing could fill the hole inside of me."
"Out back, as I waited for something to come to me, anything that might make things better, instead I once again heard the sound of coyotes. "
"No, it's the sound of me, alone, fending off the demons for one more night. They'd won. And I knew I'd lost as I headed back up to my lonely bedroom to fend off those demons and negotiated sleep one more time."
ꨄৎ࿐໋˖� �
˚ � ೀ�.˚
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ જ⁀� "Do you know what Saint Peter says to everyone who tries to get into heaven?" When I looked blankly, the man who once was president said, "Peter says, 'Don't you have any scars?' And when most would respond proudly, 'Well no, no I don't, Peter says, 'Why not? Was there nothing worth fighting for?"
"I know something happens when you die. I know you move on to something wonderful."
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Reading Progress
October 29, 2023
– Shelved
October 29, 2023
– Shelved as:
to-read
October 29, 2023
– Shelved as:
memoirs
November 2, 2023
–
Started Reading
November 2, 2023
–
64.0%
"
"God is everywhere- you just have to clear your channel, or you'll miss it."
💔💔ﮩ٨ٶﮩﮩ٨ˡﮩ٨ﮩﮩ٨"
November 2, 2023
–
64.0%
"
"God is everywhere- you just have to clear your channel, or you'll miss it."
💔💔ﮩ٨ٶﮩﮩ٨ˡﮩ٨ﮩﮩ٨"
November 2, 2023
– Shelved as:
cried-my-eyes-out
November 2, 2023
–
Finished Reading
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Nani ཻུ۪۪�(hiatus)
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Nov 02, 2023 12:19PM
i’m gonna miss him so much 😭😭😭
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Noelani ꨄ︎ wrote: "i’m gonna miss him so much 😭😭😭"So mf heartbreaking!
Did he mention anything about Mattman or batman. His recent insta posts were quite something
☆°NaeBae°� wrote: "Did he mention anything about Mattman or batman. His recent insta posts were quite something"Batman yes, something about a home he purchased bc either one of the Batman actors lived there or it was used on location. Lemme see if I can find the quotes -
In the prologue -'Also, I am Batman.'
Chapter 1 - "Bottom line, though, was; my dad was my hero. In fact, he was my superhero: whenever we would go for walks, I would say "you be Superman and I'll be Batman."
Chapter 11 - Titled Batman - "And when whatever happens, just think, what would Batman do? And do that."
No Mattman mention.
Nothing outrageous.
I just peeped the IG and the grapes were a little weird.
i finished reading this yesterday i feel exactly the same:(ty for the wonderful review🤎he will be missed.
Love how you were able to connect to the raw part of his life. I know it must’ve been a eye opening and a heartbreak read knowing all he’s been through 😔 all the quotes you included sound so brutal but real. Glad it gave you more insight. Beautiful review 🩷
� ɦɛǟȶɦɛʀ օʄ ɦօʊֆɛ ֆȶǟʀӄ ⚔️ wrote: "☆°NaeBae°� wrote: "Did he mention anything about Mattman or batman. His recent insta posts were quite something"Batman yes, something about a home he purchased bc either one of the Batman actors ..."
Omg thank you for taking out time for the references. Not gonna lie that was a great prologue! and i need to save that chapter 11 qoute.
So i guess he just liked Batman a little
Omg yesss that video was soo random! 😂😂
deniz wrote: "i finished reading this yesterday i feel exactly the same:(ty for the wonderful review🤎he will be missed."Ty bb, he surely will be. So so sad. I keep hearing his words and it just breaks my heart all over again.
Sabrina wrote: "Love how you were able to connect to the raw part of his life. I know it must’ve been a eye opening and a heartbreak read knowing all he’s been through 😔 all the quotes you included sound so brutal..."Sabrina, thank you. Man, I highlighted so much in this book but didn't want to paste the whole crushing story in my review. Truly so heartbreaking.. and I just looked at his IG since Nae mentioned it and he has a pic with him and his father 'my father and I with our beverages' now, I'm obv not judging or anything but it just goes to show that what he reiterated over and over about addiction is so true. I also know that we don't know 100% his cause of death other than drowning at this point but I can't imagine the amount of abuse his body took from alcohol and drugs can be good. Utterly sombering.
☆°NaeBae°� wrote: "� ɦɛǟȶɦɛʀ օʄ ɦօʊֆɛ ֆȶǟʀӄ ⚔️ wrote: "☆°NaeBae°� wrote: "Did he mention anything about Mattman or batman. His recent insta posts were quite something"Batman yes, something about a home he purchased..."
Totally just a little bit of a fan lol
Absolutely no problem.
So sad that his last IG post was of him in his hot tub.
Your quote at the beginning of your review saddens me because it is true that when my mother sent me the news article I was surprised. He had a life with a lot of challenges but he did overcome so much. I have not read about the details of his death because I need to watch some Friends episodes before I dive into that but I was scrolling my homepage and saw your quote.
Chelsea wrote: "Your quote at the beginning of your review saddens me because it is true that when my mother sent me the news article I was surprised. He had a life with a lot of challenges but he did overcome so ..."The whole book is just so incredibly sad now that he's passed. I couldn't help but sit and cry at work while listening to it. I think it's totally worth it but so heartbreaking. �
I love this review. So many people are still so quick to judge when this book has been nothing but an honest expression of his demons his whole life and how he dealt with it all. I hope he's at peace.
@kaycee - thank you. It’s truly sad that people are doing that. Shame on them. Actually, it ticks me off. Who do they think they are? Smh. I hope he’s finally at peace as well. ❤️🕊�
A beautiful and respectful review, Heather!💕I listened to the audiobook and it was tough but good. My brother died from alcoholism many years ago…he was only 39 YO. Yes, alcoholism doesn’t care about you…its wants you alone, and then it wants to kill you. It’s true…�
Great review and I love the quotes you included. I am currently extremely emotionally raw because my alcoholic, 49 year old brother passed away just nine days ago, January 2, after going into the hospital Christmas Day. He went into multiple organ failure, was on life support, and on New Year’s Day (also my mom’s birthday) we made the decision to remove him from life support the next day. I’m just so sad about it. My heart is broken, especially for my mom and his children. Addiction is a terrible thing.
Terrie wrote: "A beautiful and respectful review, Heather!💕I listened to the audiobook and it was tough but good. My brother died from alcoholism many years ago…he was only 39 YO. Yes, alcoholism doesn’t care abo..."Thank you, Terrie 💕 I did the audiobook as well and you're right about that, it was very tough to get through. All very relatable for me though which I think is what made it more painful. Such a terrible disease... it's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, my condolences- I can't imagine. 💔
Both of my brothers struggled with addiction years ago, thankfully one ended up in jail which cleaned him up and the other we sent to treatment and they're both doing great today. One just welcomed his first son into the world in October.
Addiction is so scary- too often we are saying 'taken far too early from us' 😢
Brandy wrote: "Great review and I love the quotes you included. I am currently extremely emotionally raw because my alcoholic, 49 year old brother passed away just nine days ago, January 2, after going into the h..."I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss, Brandy- addiction is terrible - I hate it. My condolences, thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and his children. 💔😢🫂🕊�
That first quote alone already broke my heart…�
Breaks my heart
Thank you for your detailed review. I’m about 80% through with the book, and I’ve been interested to hear what others� thoughts are. I have been really struggling with the absolutely hateful reviews of this book. Are there problematic thoughts/statements/actions throughout this book/his life? HECK.YES!!! But…that’s the whole point!?!
It pains me to see that when reading this, some aren’t seeing how so clearly traumatized and messed up Matthew Perry was. His whole life� he just couldn’t get ahold of a happy/healthy reality. This book is the picture of trauma, mental illness, addiction; and how it ravages your life and the lives of those around you. And honestly it is clear to me that he was still so so incredibly broken when he wrote this book. It’s sad that more people aren’t realizing that when reading his heartbreaking, haunting words. ❤️
Brooke wrote: "Thank you for your detailed review. I’m about 80% through with the book, and I’ve been interested to hear what others� thoughts are. I have been really struggling with the absolutely hateful revi..."
I've not gone and looked at any other reviews for this one because I'd seen enough when he first passed and people were commenting on the book in some book groups I'm in. I felt the negative vibes back then. People are really disappointing.
Addiction is something that runs throughout my family and so it's something that hits close to home. Even if it wasn't, I'm a compassionate person. I never was a fan of the show friends, so I'm not necessarily a big fan of Perry- other than on a human level of I will root for you to live- obviously? It's a tragic and heartbreaking memoir and ppl that are negative, callous and rude can eat a d*ck.
He thought he was through with addiction when he wrote this book, but clearly he wasn't. I think a couple of pictures before his last one on IG, he had a drink in hand. The words he's written are really haunting looking back. ❤️
That quote breaks my heart. Friends is my comfort show and has been for so long and im still hurting from his death😭😭
Wow, this review hit me hard. You really captured the raw emotion of his story, Heather.
@naz thx 😊
This is such a profound and moving review. I finished this memoir last month and completely agree with what you’ve written🤍
