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“the presence or absence of reflection of our state can make the difference between whether fear and pain embed or are able to integrate, even if the circumstances don't change.

As our people come to us for help with traumas that did embed for lack of companionship, it is our reflection of them in their state in the moment that offers enough safety for them to become vulnerable to remembering .

This is the core of our practice of following, to ... be available to take in and reflect back what our people bring, with no impulse to fix or change anything.

This is so counter to what we are mostly taught in our training and what our culture tells us is the path to healing. Yet the wisdom of the relational neurobiology we have been studying and our felt-sense experience repeatedly point us in this direction.”