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“But if this was to be my end â€� and it sure as fuck was coming, for my breaths were slower, my heartbeat faster, and everything was starting to feel ever so cold â€� then I wanted to go out like him. Like my beautiful Mathias, proud and determined, and the best man I’d ever met.
And so even though it felt fucking impossible, I moved my hand. Not much: just an inch, and even that cost me every remaining scrap of strength and willpower I had left in me, but enough to wrap around Panarin’s ankle where he stood over me. Enough to tighten my fingers so that he glanced down in surprise, and then disdain.
Not enough to achieve anything more. I couldn’t pull him off balance, or keep him away from Mat, but I could distract him for that tiny second, a moment that could make a difference even though it probably wouldn’t.
It was a useless, futile move, but I did it anyway.
Because it’s what Mat would have done.”