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“You may find that yes, your partner tends to shout easily, but the shouting contains no malice and passes quickly. Perhaps your partner's short fuse does not prevent them from being loving and supportive. In that case, you may have found a gem whom others have avoided because they cannot get past the bursts of temper. But if you find that time after time, a partner or close friend disappoints you by being just like a difficult parent, then you would do well to consider whether you are selecting someone who helps you reproduce that difficult relationship.”