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“That “teaching myself social behaviors�� thing, for example, was a window into my entire childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. There were things I needed to learn differently from most of the people around me, and the amount of useful, appropriate support I received back then was exactly zero. At the same time, the criticism I received felt infinite, especially when I tried to articulate my struggles. A person who I probably shouldn’t have been friends with once told me I needed to stop “thinking things through�� in social situations and just “let my instincts take over.�� In retrospect, I wish I’d replied, “What the hell are you talking about, ‘let my instincts take over��?�� He might as well have said, “Just try really hard to grow a third arm between your shoulder blades and eventually it’ll happen!�� Nothing about those situations felt instinctive; I had to learn how to navigate them in other ways”