“What did she say?� asked Matthias.
Nina coughed and took his arm, leading him away. “She said you’re a very nice fellow, and a credit to the Fjerdan race. Ooh, look, blini! I haven’t had proper blini in forever.�
“That word she used:
babink,� he said. “You’ve called me that before. What does it mean?�
Nina directed her attention to a stack of paper-thin buttered pancakes. “It means sweetie pie.�
“NԲ—�
“B.�
“I was just asking, there’s no need to name-call.�
“N,
babink means barbarian.� Matthias� gaze snapped back to the old woman, his glower returning to full force. Nina grabbed his arm. It was like trying to hold on to a boulder. “She wasn’t insulting you! I swear!�
“Barbarian isn’t an insult?� he asked, voice rising.
“No. Well, yes. But not in this context. She wanted to know if you’d like to play Princess and Barbarian.�
“It’s a game?�
“Not exactly.�
“Then what is it?�
Nina couldn’t believe she was actually going to attempt to explain this. As they continued up the street, she said, “In Ravka, there’s a popular series of stories about, um, a brave Fjerdan warrior—�
“Really?� Matthias asked. “He’s the hero?�
“In a manner of speaking. He kidnaps a Ravkan princess—�
“That would never happen.�
“In the story it does, and”—she cleared her throat—“they spend a long time getting to know each other. In his cave.�
“He lives in a cave?�
“It’s a very nice cave. Furs. Jeweled cups. Mead.�
“Ah,� he said approvingly. “A treasure hoard like Ansgar the Mighty. They become allies, then?�
Nina picked up a pair of embroidered gloves from another stand. “Do you like these? Maybe we could get Kaz to wear something with flowers. Liven up his look.�
“How does the story end? Do they fight battles?�
Nina tossed the gloves back on the pile in defeat. “They get to know each other
intimately.�
Matthias� jaw dropped. “In the cave?�
“You see, he’s very brooding, very manly,� Nina hurried on. “But he falls in love with the Ravkan princess and that allows her to civilize him—�
“To civilize him?�
“Yes, but that’s not until the third book.�
“There are three?�
“Matthias, do you need to sit down?�
“This culture is disgusting. The idea that a Ravkan could civilize a Fjerdan—�
“Calm down, Matthias.�
“Perhaps I’ll write a story about insatiable Ravkans who like to get drunk and take their clothes off and make unseemly advances toward hapless Fjerdans.�
“NǷ
that sounds like a party.� Matthias shook his head, but she could see a smile tugging at his lips. She decided to push the advantage. �
We could play,� she murmured, quietly enough so that no one around them could hear.
“We most certainly could not.�
“At one point he bathes her.�
Matthias� steps faltered. “Why would he—�
“She’s tied up, so he has to.�
“Be silent.�
“Already giving orders. That’s very barbarian of you. Or we could mix it up. I’ll be the barbarian and you can be the princess. But you’ll have to do a lot more sighing and trembling and biting your lip.�
“How about I bite
your ?�
“NǷ you’re getting the hang of it, Helvar.”
―
Leigh Bardugo,
Crooked Kingdom