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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I might be a vampire so I don't give a shit. I'll heal”
― Gena Showalter, Lord of the Vampires

“I think you still love me, but we can¡¯t escape the fact that I¡¯m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I¡¯m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I¡¯m not angry, either. I should be, but I¡¯m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

“Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I was steeped in denial, but my body knew.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“A heart can stop beating for a while, one can still live.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“When would he realize that it wasn't his infidelity I couldn't bear, but his cowardice?”
― Tatiana de Rosnay, Sarah's Key

“I used to loathe ambivalence; now I adore it. Ambivalence is my new best friend.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Many partners of addicts have told me they feel bad about themselves for staying in the relationship because of the betrayal they¡¯ve experienced. They imagine that the people who know their past judge them to be stupid for staying with the person who¡¯s caused them so much pain. I often counter this thinking, explaining that leaving may seem quick and easy because they can pretend they¡¯re okay and the problem has disappeared. However, if you leave your relationship, you¡¯ll be stuck with your pain and sorrow without the person you loved to help you sort it out. Why is this true? Because even though it feels as if your pain comes from your partner, it¡¯s actually coming from inside you.”
― Alexandra Katehakis, Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

“I know one thing about men," Bunny says with finality, leaving the room to check on A. "They never die when you want them to.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“He left a bit too easily and with obvious relief. His feet were swift and sure on the muddy path.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I am going insane. Yes. That is what?s happening. Good. Insane.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“I have a new mantra, which I chant softly to myself: "Oh My God Oh My God.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“It?s like watching someone do a triple backflip dismount and land on two feet, solid, arms splayed in the air. I know I could never do it, don?t even know where I would begin to learn, but some people are built for it. He was handcrafted to leave, had practiced on other women since adolescence. I was one of an unnumbered series.”
― Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

“The way he looked at you. I got it then. He loved you, and it was killing him. He won't get over you, Clary, he can't.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.”
― J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister

“If you don't receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it.”
― Robert Goolrick, The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life

“His hands are saying that he wants to hold her. His feet are saying that he wants to chase after her... He's probably forgotten that I'm here, beside him”
― Ai Yazawa, Ììʹ¤Ê¤ó¤«¤¸¤ã¤Ê¤¤¨DÍêÈ«°æ 1 [Tenshi nanka janai - Kanzenban 1]

“All this time
I drank you like the cure when maybe
you were the poison.”
― Clementine von Radics

“It¡¯s 11 am and I¡¯m sitting in a restaurant
3 beers in. Believe me, even I¡¯m surprised
I¡¯m still alive sometimes.
I have been drinking about you for 2 days.
Lately you remind me of a wild thing
chewing through its foot. But you
are already free and I don¡¯t know what to do
except trace the rough line of your jaw
and try not to place blame.
Here is the truth: It is hard to be in love
with someone who is in love someone else.
I don¡¯t know how to turn that into poetry.”
― Clementine von Radics

“If anyone else were to kiss me, all they would taste is your name.”
― Clementine von Radics

“I want a tattoo of the first morning we woke up together. I want the memory to hurt.”
― Clementine von Radics

“I wonder if you know yet that you¡¯ll leave me. That you are a child playing with matches and I have a paper body. You will meet a girl with a softer voice and stronger arms and she will not have violent secrets or an affection for red wine or eyes that never stay dry. You will fall into her bed and I¡¯ll go back to spending Friday nights with boys who never learn my last name. ”
― Clementine von Radics

“Everything about my heart is a crime scene.
I drink to forget things it takes me 2 beers to name.
I pour my breath into things only worth forgetting.
I have nothing left to say to the ghosts.
Their cold hands and bitter mouths keep kissing me awake
when I have asked them nicely and then not-so-nicely
to be left alone.
I have nothing left to say to the ghosts.
Two decades full of nothing but monsters and crime scenes
and sometimes I am the monster and sometimes
I am the crime scene. There is nothing I would undo
so much as things I wish would wake up forgotten.”
― Clementine von Radics

“I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.”
― Clementine von Radics

“I pity the woman who will love you
when I am done. She will show up
to your first date with a dustpan
and broom, ready to pick up all the pieces
I left you in. She will hear my name so often
it will begin to dig holes in her. That
is where doubt will grow. She will look
at your neck, your thin hips, your mouth,
wondering at the way I touched you.
She will make you all the promises I did
and some I never could. She will hear only
the terrible stories. How I drank. How I lied.
She will wonder (as I have) how someone
as wonderful as you could love a monster
like the woman who came before her. Still,
she will compete with my ghost.
She will understand why you do not look
in the back of closets. Why you are afraid
of what¡¯s under the bed. She will know
every corner of you is haunted
by me.”
― Clementine von Radics

“But my heart is an old house
(the kind my mother
grew up in)
hell to heat and cool
and faulty in the wiring
and though it¡¯s nice to look at
I have no business
inviting lovers in.”
― Clementine von Radics

“A long time ago, before I even met you,
someone replaced my chest with a broken record.
For years, it¡¯s been stammering through
the same old tune.
I want you to know I¡¯m trying.
I quit smoking. I¡¯m doing yoga. And those days
I wake up wishing for death are getting fewer
and farther apart.

No, I¡¯m not ok. But I haven¡¯t been ok
since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though.
I¡¯m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that
will have to be enough”
― Clementine von Radics

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we¡¯d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I¡¯m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.

And I will not be afraid
of your scars.

I know sometimes
it¡¯s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it¡¯s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I¡¯ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.”
― Clementine von Radics