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“Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Well, you're expelling us aren't you?" said Ron.
"Not today, Mr. Weasley."
Snape looked as though Christmas had been canceled.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I'm not there.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Harry â€� I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!â€�
And she sprinted away, up the stairs.
�What does she understand?� said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.
“Loads more than I do,� said Ron, shaking his head.
“But why’s she got to go to the library?�
“Because that’s what Hermione does,â€� said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious...”
― J.K Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of
their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for
the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through ......

Percy was deeply disapproving of this behavior.

"It is not a laughing matter," he said coldly.

"Oh, get out of the way, Percy," said Fred. "Harry's in a hurry."

"Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged
servant," said George, chortling.

Ginny didn't find it amusing either.

"Oh, don't," she wailed every time Fred asked Harry loudly who he was
planning to attack next, or when George pretended to ward Harry off with a large
clove of garlic when they met.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn.

"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods...”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine, he's really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“The three of them fell silent. After a long pause, Hermione voiced the knottiest question of all in a hesitant voice.
“Do you think we should go and ask Hagrid about it all?�
“That’d be a cheerful visit,â€� said Ron, â€� ‘Hello, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“When in doubt, go to the library.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Hang on . . .â€� Harry muttered to Ron. “There’s an empty chair at the staff table. . . . Where’s Snape?â€�
"Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully.
“Maybe he’s left,� said Harry, “because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!�
“Or he might have been sacked!â€� said Ron enthusiastically. “I mean, everyone hates him —â¶Ä�
“Or maybe,� said a very cold voice right behind them, “he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t arrive on the school train.�
Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Beds empty! No note! Car gone â€� could have crashed â€� out of my mind with worry â€� did you care? â€� never, as long as I’ve lived â€� you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy â€�"
"Perfect Percy,� muttered Fred.
“YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!â€� yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —â¶Ä�
It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away.
“I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,â€� she said.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Jealous?...Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“The poor things keep calling in those â€� those pumbles, I think they're called â€� you know, the ones who mend pipes and things â€� "
"Plumbers?"
" â€� exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“And I must draft an advertisement for the Daily Prophet, too,' he added thoughtfully. 'We'll be needing a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.... Dear me, we do seem to run through them, don't we?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what have you done,
You’re killing off students, you think it’s good fun â€� ”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos. How come I haven't got one?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Famous Harry Potter," said Malfoy. "Can't even go to a bookshop without making the front page.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Scared?" Malfoy muttered, so that Lockhart couldn't hear him.
"You wish." said Harry out of the corner of his mouth.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“So Dobby stopped us from getting on the train and broke your arm. . . ." He shook his head. "You know what, Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets