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“Age isn't stealing from my grandmother; it's slowly unwinding her.”
― Shaun David Hutchinson, We Are the Ants

“Offering care means being a companion, not a superior. It doesn’t matter whether the person we are caring for is experiencing cancer, the flu, dementia, or grief.

If you are a doctor or surgeon, your expertise and knowledge comes from a superior position. But when our role is to be providers of care, we should be there as equals.”
― Judy Cornish, The Dementia Handbook: How to Provide Dementia Care at Home

“And sometimes
when she does remember,
she calls me her little angel
and she knows where she is
and everything is all right
for a second or a minute
and then we cry;
she for the life that she lost
I for the woman I only know about
through the stories of her children.”
― Rebecca Rijsdijk, Portraits of Girls I never Met

“She’d forgotten to love, but she also forgot to hate. (about Clara’s mother, who had dementia)”
― Louise Penny, Bury Your Dead

“This woman had no idea who I was. She has no idea I was once a smoker, was thrown out of boarding school twice and a certified rebel with strong opinions. To her, I was new, fresh, immaculate to the bone. This was all strangely wonderful.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“I am daily learning
To be the reluctant guardian of your memories
There was light in those eyes; I miss that”
― Richard L. Ratliff

“Was the dementia of old age a blessing in disguise? No more thoughts. No more damage inflicted. No more memories of damage survived.”
― Janet Turpin Myers, the last year of confusion

“While no one can change the outcome of dementia or Alzheimer's, with the right support you can change the journey.”
― Tara Reed, What to do Between the Tears... A Practical Guide to Dealing with a Dementia or Alzheimer's Diagnosis in the Family: Feel less overwhelmed and more empowered. You don't have to go through this alone

“Even though people experiencing dementia become unable to recount what has just happened, they still go through the experience—even without recall.
The psychological present lasts about three seconds. We experience the present even when we have dementia. The emotional pain caused by callous treatment or unkind talk occurs during that period.
The moods and actions of people with dementia are expressions of what they have experienced, whether they can still use language and recall, or not.”
― Judy Cornish, The Dementia Handbook: How to Provide Dementia Care at Home

“Like someone excitedly relating a story, only to find the words petering out, the path gets narrower the further I go, the undergrowth taking over.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

“She looked like some damn fool angel that didn't even know the name of God.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“The idea of disassociating from one’s surrounding, of taking a step back was rather clever on my mother’s part without her notice.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“I saw my mother with eyes opened and not curtained by her motherhood or my ego.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“In Dementialand I was able to see for miles without the yesterdays and tomorrows obstructing my view. It was difficult and so simple all at the same time.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Last Comfortsâ€� was born when one nagging question kept arising early in my journey as a hospice volunteer. Why were people coming into hospice care so late in the course of their illness? That question led to many others that rippled out beyond hospice care. Are there better alternatives to conventional skilled nursing home operations? How are physicians and nurses educated about advanced illness and end-of-life care? What are more effective ways of providing dementia care? What are the unique challenges of minority and LGBT people? What is the role of popular media in our death-denying culture? What has been the impact of public policy decisions about palliative and hospice care?

The book is part memoir of lessons learned throughout my experiences with patients and families as a hospice volunteer; part spotlight on the remarkable pathfinders and innovative programs in palliative and late-life care; and part call to action.

I encourage readers â€� particularly my fellow baby boomers -- not only to make their wishes and goals clear to friends and family, but also to become advocates for better care in the broader community.”
― Ellen Rand, Last Comforts: Notes from the Forefront of Late Life Care

“There is magic just outside our memory.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Violet unwrapped everything old as if it were a ribboned gift given to her by the Gods.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“My mother made that dress. She’s somewhere in its unsettling pattern.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Her eyes were trained to see the missing parts of the world.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Her memories got dizzy and fell out of her head.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“The lady roommate said very little and chopped off the better parts of her story.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“They lived with us. Maybe there were twenty or more. At one time I counted 28.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“My mother had a way of accessing the energy of the people around her. There was no need to know their name, who they were or how she knew them. She didn’t recognize their surface. She went much deeper.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“So began a kind of magic in Dementialand that took place most nights after the day’s sun went down.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Violet believed that Jewish people made good doctors and lawyers, a thought that came to the front of her head suggesting she might need one.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Violet screamed into her pillow so loudly she scared herself. Her head hurt. It was as if all her memories were trying to kick their way out. They were finished and wanted to leave.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“There were thousands of secrets hidden in her purse, secrets and memories that took her elsewhere. She held onto them tightly and kept them to herself. Even God did not know of them.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Violet wasn't sure what she was saying. Words fell out of her mouth with no mind and no malice.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Violet kept her visits private and never told me where she went. I really never asked. I believed the dementias gave her special powers.”
― Suzka, Wonders in Dementialand: An Artist's Intimate and Whimsical Account of Dementia, Memory Loss, Caregiving and Dancing Gypsies

“Even though people experiencing dementia become unable to recount what has just happened, they still go through the experience—even without recall.

The psychological present lasts about three seconds. We experience the present even when we have dementia. The emotional pain caused by callous treatment or unkind talk occurs during that period.

The moods and actions of people with dementia are expressions of what they have experienced, whether they can still use language and recall, or not.”
― Judy Cornish, The Dementia Handbook: How to Provide Dementia Care at Home