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“Sam's hand brushed her shoulder, and she almost jumped out of her skin as he brought his mouth close to her ear and murmured, "You look beautiful. Though I bet you already know that." She most certainly did.”
― Sarah J. Maas, The Assassin's Blade

“I needed to say something. Something romantic! Something to sweep her off her feet.
"You're like a potato!" I shouted after her. "In a minefield.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Firefight

“A pair of Blahniks and a girl can vanquish anything”
― Tyne O'Connell

“One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'

THAT WAS IT.

I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'

Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication.”
― Aziz Ansari

“He had rid my inherited house of a lustful ghost, opened my eyes to a concealed world of strange forces and arcane knowledge, and buggered me twice.”
― K.J. Charles, The Secret Casebook of Simon Feximal

“Moral," said Vale."That's an interesting adjective to apply to 'genocide'.”
― Dan Wells, Ruins

“Uh, I'm thankful for you all, even if you get on my nerves sometimes,â€� Carmine said. “Oh, and orgasms... definitely thankful for those.”
― J.M. Darhower, Sempre

“I wore you on me at all times
Like I now carry my pen.
Unlike your own opinion my
Belongings must have a function.
You bled through the ink of my lines and
To be my subject nursed your thirst.

Was it my fault, or your own, that you forgot
—I do not deal in tender verse.”
― Mie Hansson, Where Pain Thrives

“Primus is certainly learning caution," said Secundus to his four other dead brothers.

"Well, you know what they say," whispered Quintus, in the wistful tones of the dead, which sounded, on that day, like the lapping of distant waves upon the shingle, "a man who is tired of looking over his shoulder for Septimus is tired of life.”
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust

“She opened the door within two seconds of his pressing the doorbell, letting out a stream of cats that ran around with such rapidity and randomness of motion that they assumed a liquid state of furry purringness.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy

“She looked around at the close confines of the NCD offices. They were cramped and untidy. No. They were worse than that. They had gone through cramped and untidy, paused briefly at small and shabby before ending up at pokey and damp.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy

“My attorney put down the phone after making several calls. “There’s only one place where we can get fresh salmon,â€� he said, “and it’s closed on Sunday.â€� “Of course,â€� I snapped. “These goddamn Jesus freaks! They’re multiplying like rats!”
― Hunter S. Thompson

“I didn't realize he was a drunk driver,' I said. 'The other superheroes inferred it was just a regular, random guy you were trying to force a taco onto. But still' - I indicate the nearby crack dealers - 'the Taco Incident surely demonstrates how things can inadvertently spiral.”
― Jon Ronson, Lost At Sea: The Jon Ronson Mysteries

“Only the great warriors fall down from their horses; one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.”
― Waheed Ibne Musa, Johnny Fracture

“He has an interview going on, so if anyone asks you anything about anything, smile and lie."
"So, if they ask how it feels to spend our evenings filing briefings from three years ago, we should say it's great? Atticusa asked sarcastically, as he pulled out the files he needed to work on next.”
― J.J. McAvoy, Black Rainbow

“So Septimus will be the eighty-second Lord of Stormhold," said Tertius.

"There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of unhatched chicks," pointed out Quintus.”
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust

“There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school!”
― X

“Oh, I'm dying,' I like moaned. 'Oh, I have a ghastly pain in my side. Appendicitis, it is. Ooooooh.' 'Appendy shitehouse,' grumbled this veck.”
― Anthony Burgess

“Lawyers, I suppose were once children.”
― Charles Lamb

“The camp fell silent, each group staring tensely at the other. Finally Marcus stepped forward. ''If you insist on going through me to get to him, it's your call. But I warn you, I will probably cry when you hurt me, and you'll feel bad about it later.''
Vinci looked at him. ''That's your defiant speech?''
''Get used to it,'' said Marcus.
''There's a lot more useless heroics where that came from.”
― Dan Wells, Ruins

“A turd placed in the snow will become hard and significantly less odorous than its warm weather counterpart. This doesn’t mean that it has ceased to be a turd.”
― P.J. Hetherhouse, Tales of the Zodiac - The Goat's Tale

“So what's the problem?â€�
‘No problem. There's no problem. Don't ever say what's the problem, nthat's the negative way of looking at things, you know like is the bottle half empty or half full, know what I mean, every problem is also an opportunity, the question here is what opportunity does this present us with?�
‘It seems to meâ€�, said Ernest stubbornly, ‘that this opportunity presents us with a problem. Is there a director that Virginia would like?”
― Jonathan Lynn, Mayday

“We spend the first twelve months of our children's' lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.”
― Anonymous Authors

“I have seen many a face that was more good-looking â€� never one that looked half so good.”
― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, John Halifax, Gentleman

“I get this buzz every time I'm quoted online. The ego high... yes... but also a Google Alert.”
― Ryan Lilly

“—Elle m'a pas recconue!
—C'est parce qu'elle vous a jamais vue.”
― Muriel Barbery

“I believe in the 20/80 rule. That's where working an extra 20% faster, harder, or smarter gets you an extra 80% of the rewards.”
― Brandon David Hastings

“Stop fretting and eat your Madeira Cake..”
― Diane Samuels, Kindertransport: A Drama

“You weasel, good-for-nothing, scumbag, swine,
sleazebag, scumbucket, scoundrel, son-of-a-bitch!�
In the midst of everything, we all looked at Rosina,
who smiled sheepishly.
“Sorry. I was reading the Dictionary the other day.�
I stared at her with incomprehension.”
― Kelly Batten, One Day You'll Find Me

“You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.”
― S.A. Tawks, Misadventurous