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“Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all.”
― Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

“These days, it's better to look poor and be safe, than look rich and be a victim.”
― Anthony Liccione

“The drawback of stealing a thing, is that one never knows how wonderful the thing that one steals is.”
― Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband

“That man tried to picka my frienda’s pocketoni!”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Every single time it was grand. I loved the moment when you announce the stickup and everything suddenly goes brighter and sharper and the world seems to spin faster. You show them the gun and say hand it over and there's no telling what's going to happen in the next tick of the clock.”
― James Carlos Blake, Handsome Harry