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“I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“Yet, I didn't understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and chaste of heart, whose souls have been coarsely and impudently invaded; and who, until the last moment, refuse to yield out of pride and are afraid to express their own feelings to you.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground, White Nights, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, and Selections from The House of the Dead

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mochaccino." He looked at Magnus. "Did you pay for these?"
"Sure," said Magnus, while Jace and Alec snickered. "I make dollar bills magically appear in their cash register."
"Really?"
"No." Magnus popped the lid off his own coffee. "But you can pretend I did if it makes you feel better. So, first order of business is what?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“Festus just detected a large group of eagles behind us—long-range radar, still not in sight.â€�
Piper leaned over the console. “Are you sure they’re Roman?�
Leo rolled his eyes. “No, Pipes. It could be a random group of giant eagles flying in perfect formation. Of course they’re Roman!”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“I don't profess any religion; I don't think it’s possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words ‘spiritualâ€� or ‘spirituality.'

[Interview, The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 2005]”
― Philip Pullman

“The first time Calypso came to check on [Leo], it was to complain about the noise.
“Smoke and fire,� she said. “Clanging on metal all day long. You’re scaring away the birds!�
“Oh, no, not the birds!”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

“Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.”
― Kami Garcia, Beautiful Creatures

“The more this guy talked, the more he sounded like a fortune cookie.”
― Kelly Creagh, Nevermore

“the [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.
On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"
Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful."
"Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Infinity

“If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor.”
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron Daughter

“What is your advice to young writers?â€�
“Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”
― Charles Bukowski, Hot Water Music

“I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-"
"It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.”
― Shannon Hale, The Actor and the Housewife

“If you say ‘we’re in this together,â€� I’m going to hurl.”
― Kelley Armstrong

“I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.”
― Sarah Rees Brennan, The Demon's Covenant

“That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail.”
― Jennifer Salaiz

“Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?"
"It sucked."
"Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks.
"It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...â€�
“Yes, they do that,â€� said Dumbledore.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.”
― Chris Colfer, Struck By Lightning: The Carson Phillips Journal

“He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot.
"Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“Work fast."
"Yeah." I point at the screen. "First I have to wait for my computer to wake up."
"Hurry."
"Okay, I'll wait faster."
"Sarcasm.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“How long have you been with Raphael?â€�

“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.�

“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”
― Nalini Singh, Angels' Blood

“Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“Minho snickered and leaned back in his chair. “Man, you are one butt-load of sunshine, let me tell you.”
― James Dashner, The Maze Runner

“What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked.
Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us."
"Sure," said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour."
Alec looked puzzled. "Who's Madonna?"
"Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?" said Clary.
"She is the Queen of Faerie," said Magnus. "Well, the local one, anyway."
Jace put his head in his hands. "Tell Isabelle no."
"But she thinks it's a good idea," Alec protested.
"Then tell her no twice.”
― Cassandra Clare