I don't know how you justify writing a trans serial killer in 2017. As an old and hideous trope, I can think of no better wayUgh. Super disappointing.
I don't know how you justify writing a trans serial killer in 2017. As an old and hideous trope, I can think of no better way for an author to fly a flag that says "I am unoriginal, ignorant, and cruel." Did Craig Johnson feel jealous that JK Rowling's mystery series was getting too much attention for it's hateful turn? Is that why, after their reveal, he consistently misgendered his villain? Is that why he made up a completely bogus psychological diagnosis to "justify" their serial rampage?
Just to be clear, transphobia is not the only thing wrong with this book. I actually enjoyed the back-and-forth from past to present plots... until it turned out that they had very little to actually do with one another. I also enjoyed the flashback mystery plot about a conspiracy of sheriff vigilantes... until we got the bait-and-switch of motives, and the book rapidly dismissed those suspicious vigilante murders (including a literal lynching of a Black man) as irrelevant and we hear no more of them.
I admit I have never enjoyed the introduction of a recurring boogeyman who got away in a past book, and it now appears this title was designed for a cliffhanger to set up a sequel solely focused on that villain, in which Longmire will not even be in Wyoming. And speaking of that, I also did not enjoy Longmire's daughter Cady being turned into a plot football, nor the bafflingly contrived flashback use of Cady's mother as a revenge receptacle (which doubled as another bullshit "trans jealousy" vehicle).
So, yeah. What a despicable flop from an, until now, pretty enjoyable author....more
A helpful guide to recognizing and addressing consequences of "emotional neglect" -- a term that sounds egregious (since we're likely to associate it A helpful guide to recognizing and addressing consequences of "emotional neglect" -- a term that sounds egregious (since we're likely to associate it with either emotional abuse or physical neglect) but really just means entering adulthood without having learned one or more essential internal tools.
The most common characteristics of emotional neglect seem to be living primarily for others (but terrible at prioritizing yourself) or a feeling of a "fatal flaw" -- that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, or that others wouldn't like you if they found out the "real" you. Does this seem like it might apply to some extent to a lot of us? I suspect so.
The examples given of the kinds of parents who often contribute to this condition felt a little too stylized; even if I could recognize my parents in some way matching a category, they were often very unlike those described to represent the category. My takeaway was really that any, even most, parents who aren't especially tuned in to each of their children's different emotional needs (and there are obv a lot of relatable reasons why that might be) might have kids that grow up neglected in some way or other.
Probably the book's greatest strength was its practical way of addressing the lack of skills one needs in adulthood, from recognizing emotions we're programmed not to acknowledge, to self-care steps (like saying no to things), to forming better self-discipline or addressing relationship patterns like counter-dependence. It's a pretty good range of tools, and while she doesn't go greatly into depth with most of them, she gives clear ideas about how to get started and references to other resources dedicated entirely to more specific issues.
So, worth checking out, even if you skip around and read just the bits that strike one as most relevant or most useful. It's designed to make that pretty easy, in fact....more
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