Look, I had fun. Was it the pinnacle of literatu3.5 Stars �
“I’m keeping you,�
“You always had me, Rook. Always.�
It’s so silly. Everything is so silly.
Look, I had fun. Was it the pinnacle of literature? Absolutely not. Was I nauseated and rolling my eyes at the religious metaphors about Lucifer and Lilith? Yes. Were there inconsistencies and typos? Hell yes. But I had fun and I would read again.
Starting off, let’s do a quick rundown of the negatives. There were so many typos and grammatical errors. The atmosphere and the tone were consistently inconsistent (how do you have a scene about wanting to avenge your dead sister and the next be about playing Capture the Flag?) and there were so many unnecessary quotes, moments and metaphors that I’ve complained about before. This was just the writing of Monty Jay, I didn’t think that was going to change and it was unfair for me to hold it against them—especially if I said I was going to continue the series. So, I’m not—I rated it based on everything else. But, I gotta tell y’all. The metaphors were so over the top. The narrative was omnipotent—how would Sage know that Rosemary would want Silas to move on and find love again? How do these people keep coming up with the same assumptions? It was lazy writing, but, I understood this was part of the writer’s style.
Doesn’t mean I won’t call it out, though.
Regardless, it was a fun time. I kept going back to their story, I kept reading on. That accounted for something.
First thing first, I liked Sage. I absolutely adored her. She was refreshing from Briar in so many ways—she was multifaceted, she had her own goals and ambitions and you could see a clearer picture of her motives and morales. I loved the scene where she was being a mean girl, I loved the scene where she hit Rook back. I also loved when she was with Silas� brothers and she was kinder and soft with them. There were different layers to Sage, which I appreciated. She wasn’t just a mean girl—she was insecure, she cried, she was kind, and she had grief. I appreciated that.
Secondly, I enjoyed Rook. Again, breath of fresh air compared to Alistair. He was full of whimsical metaphors and preached about wanting to remove the poison from his veins (Sage) which was overdramatic, but still. I liked his character. He was emotional, and he kept consistent with that trait. He was also downbad for Sage, which I liked. The way he was protective of Silas and his friends was prominent in his narration but purposeful. I didn’t necessarily understand why he kept everything in his head so much, especially about taking the blame for everything and faulting himself for Silas, but at least it was consistent in his storytelling.
But what I truly enjoyed was their romance. You got to experience two sides of their stories—the one before, then the one after. Admittedly, their initial relationship was a fast burn. Sage got sprung on about her engagement to Easton and she wanted to escape—finding solace in Rook. It went on from there. It was a physical but as emotional relationship. I believed this is what lacked in Alistair and Briar’s story—their intimacy. Rook was caught up in Sage’s truths and he demanded it, but it opened up a side of her that allowed her to trust him. Otherwise, they would’ve stayed away. However, I thought their high school relationship was too short. I understood it was for the length of the story, but 13 chapters was not enough for the payoff. When Sage told Rook that she didn’t love him and didn’t care for him in their breakup, I found it unrealistic that Rook wouldn’t clock her ass for lying. I mean, he was doing it the entire time and suddenly, he believed this lie? It was made for angst and tension, I understand, but I wished he realized it. Anyways, after that, in college, I appreciated when she did tell him. The miscommunication was not stretched out longer than necessary and I fucking loved the fact that Rook didn’t want to hear it but Sage persisted and kept going—forcing him to hear her truth. A lot of books would use that as a gateway to extend the miscommunication but MJ did not. I appreciated that heavily. Afterwards, everything fell into place, Rook killed Cain, they got together, and then the whole incident with Silas happened, blah blah blah. He branded her and they were finally a couple.
But I gotta say, I am very excited for Thatcher and Lyra. She killed to protect him? He was being obtuse and emotionless when the cop held a gun to his head? My favorite psychopath, let’s go!!!...more
My main issue with this is that it’s boring. It’s loose in structure. The plot is thin, and the romance lacked chemistry. I still had fun, but it’s onMy main issue with this is that it’s boring. It’s loose in structure. The plot is thin, and the romance lacked chemistry. I still had fun, but it’s only because I had to encourage myself to keep going for the characters. But truthfully, the characters are only good in concept.
Writing, Plot, & Structure Structurally, this was awful. You had this potential of building upon the richness of Ponderosa Springs but you didn’t take advantage of it. It was only reduced to a background that had no character nor richness. You had these places—The Graveyard, the Mausoleum, the Labyrinth, Tilly’s Diner—but you reduced them to just settings. I had seen these type of settings in most of the dark romance fictional town stories I had read. It had so much potential, but it was wasted. Every plot point and scenes were loosely strung together. You went from Point A to Point B with little interference from external factors that changed the course of the plot. That kept readers on their toes. It was predictable, plotless, and lacked the necessary structure to have a satisfying payoff. Plots were thrown together on whims and this truly felt like a first draft. It had grammar errors and typos, it kept ending off their chapters very poetically—for what? It reminded me of Wattpad cliffhangers. You truly cruised by this story and the setting of Hollow Heights felt more like a high school than a university. One day, Briar mentioned she had her first test, and the next, she mentioned final season was upon them. They had campus curfew? It was odd. It lacked proper support to be fleshed out. You had these traditions—maze runs, carnivals, the dance—and it felt like a convenient setting rather than real traditions. Maybe I’m harsh because I just came off an incredible story and this was subpar. Lastly, for writing, it was dense. So much could’ve been cut out. It felt like a first draft, submitted for publication. There were so many metaphors, so many “edgy� quotes and dialogues, and so many ways to reword the same sentiment. They kept repeating themselves over and over again, just in synonyms. You could skip most of the internal monologue and still be caught up to what was going on. Also, there was hella telling not showing. So much things were told to us about certain characters and dynamics instead of letting the readers decipher that themselves. Especially near the end with Dorian, Alistair started spewing this bullshit about how Dorian cracked under pressure and got into drugs. How did you conclude that? Why did you not show that? It was conveniently cleared up.
Characters We followed Briar Lowell and Alistair Caldwell. They were the main couple. It also mentioned the Hollow Boys—Silas, Thatcher and Rook—and Lyra, with distinct mentions to Sage and Coraline. That was our primary ensemble.
Briar started off interesting. She was a criminal, her father was a criminal, and she knew how to lie, cheat and steal. She presented herself with street smarts but she sharply declined and became one-dimensional and hypocritical. She called Alastair for being a trust fund—but when Easton did that, she had a problem with him calling Alistair names. Then, she came back and snapped back at him about family problems. It felt like I didn’t know Briar. I didn’t know her goals, her morales, her purpose. She was meandering through the story, being casted by the direction the plot took her—she felt very passive. She did do some things of note—when she sneaked bugs in Alistair’s car and snapped back—but they were dimmed by the potential she could’ve had. Truly, she felt like another girlboss with a sharp mouth, too wrapped up in her head, spewed feisty words but did not try to challenge the Hollow Boys or Alistair in any capacity. She fell under their influence easily. She was strong, but not strong enough, and she was smart but stupid. Her characterization was paper-thin and malleable, changing in the direction the plot took her for tension, angst, and whatnot.
Alistair was just angry. He was directionless and angry and was always in his head. He viewed himself as this predator and this monster, but he gave off annoying. He kept mentioned about how he hated being referred as spare parts, he hated his life, and he was just so angry. But it got to a point where I had enough. He positioned himself as the leader, but there was nothing he did that was leadership worthy. I felt like he was bland. Stale crackers. Unseasoned white chicken. His personality boiled down to being angry, fighting, tattoos, and wanting revenge for Rosemary. That was it. He wanted to leave, but he didn’t because of Rosemary’s death. He hated his brother. It felt very linear with him, everything he wanted laid out on the table. Therefore, he became just another bland, one-dimensional character. But what I was mostly pissed about was� let him be a morally-grey character. Stop explaining his actions. Stop presenting him better than he needs to be. When he killed what we assumed with Briar’s rat, let it be dead. Let him fuck up and do that shit and having it weight on their relationship. Let his actions have echos and consequences—stop excusing him by presenting him as this better-than-what-meets-the-eye man.
Romance Insta-lust. Physical connections, little intimacy. Enemies to lovers? More like one/two scenes of hate and then they’re fucking each other. Alistair had all the power in his hands; their dynamic was weird and off-putting but it tried to push on this narrative that both of them have equal playing field. Briar and Alistair liked being pushed to the limits, but it was mainly Alistair taking control. They were mirrored souls because they were blacklisted from society, but again, that was told, not shown. They were partially annoying. They had no chemistry nor connection. All their emotional aspect literally came at the last two chapters. All the connections and reasons why they would like each other came then too. It was mainly a physical and sexual relationship built on pure attraction and imagination of what one could be for the other. Was not rooting for them. Skipped through their sex scenes. Yawnfest.
Conclusion Great concept, terrible execution. Villains were superficial and one-dimensional. Dorian literally gave a villainous monologue. Dorian was obsessed with Briar for what? She wasn’t even special. She was a dime a dozen, you could find any other girl like her. Despite this, will continue to read the rest so I can figure out what was all the hype about.
Commentaries Throughout Book 4% Rosemary died. She was friends with the Hollow Boys. They stayed behind to get revenge. Thatcher is the foil to Alistair (cold versus hot; indifference versus emotional). Rook is the son of an attorney. Rosemary is the daughter of a mayor. Alistair is acting hella edgy. I’m guessing they’re supposed to be in college?
16% So, let me get this straight. Silas is the muted one, diagnosed with schizophrenia, and heir to a tech empire. Alistair is the leader. (And spare parts?) Thatcher is cold-blooded and doesn’t feel anything. Rook is the son of a DA and an anarchist who likes to watch things burn. Lyra likes bugs. Briar is a thief. I’m not really attached to any of the characters right now—the only one I’m intrigued by right now is Lyra and Thatcher. Other than that, the writing relies strongly on prose and sometimes, it tries too hard to be deep.
18% I’m getting boooooooored.
20% PAUSE “They are not scared of me because of my money, they fear me because I could, and would kill them if they crossed me. You should think about that before opening those cock sucking lips again.” �
30% So much could be cut out.
53% The thing about this book is that there’s long internal monologues that repeats the same sentiment said in past chapters. Additionally, there’s no structure. No payoff about what a scene could mean. We get loose scenes tied together to move the story along. We get Briar and Lyra going to the mausoleum, to the labyrinth, only to never be mentioned again. Even the graveyard mentioned at the beginning of the book doesn’t make a second appearance. It’s disjointed. You have this rich lore with Ponderosa Springs but you don’t explain it. Also, there’s relationship with Alistair and Briar is lackluster. There’s no chemistry. They’re both bland. They’re always in their heads, boasting about how edgy and different they are, and it’s a drag to read through. MJ keeps trying to end each chapter with a commentary, or a strong narration but all I get is an eye roll. Alistair is also so boring as a character. Why is he the leader of the group? It seems the Hollow Boys gave it to him as pity for being the spare parts. What does spare parts even mean? He mentioned that it’s because if anything happens to Dorian, he’ll be the heir, but why not explore that? You have a half-asses reason for his backstory and just culled it to a stop. It’s almost pointless to mention. What if his brother actually dies? What happens then? Let’s change the projection of the story. Let’s twist it in a way you didn’t expect. Hollow Boys are close, but their interactions are lackluster to me. Lyra—as much as I love her in concept—with Briar is also superficial. Yeah, they discussed their trauma but there’s nothing intimate about their relationship that makes you root for them. Additionally with the Hollow Boys—but they get more screen time so you do see their intimacy through their playfulness. Also, Alistair—why are you so angry? You’re the spare part, I get it, Rosemary died, I get that. But being in your head reminds me of being a emo middle schooler who screams at the world “not understanding them.� His semi-smut scene with Briar also gave nothing. If you had low expectations for this book, lower it. I just wanna get to thatcherlyra.
65% I think my struggle with this story is how it has no hard-determined traits of any character so I can accurately assess whether a character is acting in their morals or not. It’s very loose and based chapter by chapter. This scene: “I didn’t know much about Alistair in the family department, but I also didn’t think it was Easton’s place to be judging other people. He has no idea what goes on behind the closed door of the Caldwell home.� Is absolutely laughable because Briar’s been spilling the entire time about how Alistair is a trust fund kid who’ve been served life on a silver platter and suddenly, when someone else says it, it’s wrong? The issue isn’t that she’s a hypocrite, but rather than the narrative is trying to convince us that the readers are stupid. You’re trying to pair these two characters as love interests and the only way you seem to be able to do that is through little acts like this. But go hard on your decisions and keep them. They are supposed to hate each other, Briar is supposed to fear Alistair, but it’s coming out so loose and unreliable that I don’t believe anything going on.
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