“Write the truest thing you know. Dear reader, this is it.�
I have been a fan of this author for years. In fact, it was years ago, that our Library Boo“Write the truest thing you know. Dear reader, this is it.�
I have been a fan of this author for years. In fact, it was years ago, that our Library Book Discussion Group discussed, “Caleb’s Crossing� which was quite a compelling conversation. I loved her story, “People of the Book,� and was completely taken in by “Horse.� If you are interested in my reviews for any of these books, I have included the links below.
So, when I heard about her memoir, I was in.
What happens when your life partner dies unexpectedly? How does one cope? This is what faced the author. Suddenly, her husband of 35 years, Tony Horwitz, successful author/journalist and Pulitzer Prize Winner for National Reporting (1995), 60-years young, collapsed and died while on his own book tour.
“I stood there and suppressed that howl. Because I was alone, and no one could help me. And if I let go, if I fell, I might not be able to get back up. (Nearly 4 years later�) That howl has become the beast in the basement of my heart. I need to find a way to set it free.�
How many of us have ever wondered what we would do, or how we would be if we ever faced a similar moment? For me, I don’t want to go there. I value present moment living. I don’t want to project myself into an unknown future, that can create anxiety and angst.
But still, what if?
I have to believe for any of us, if faced with something similar, we would need inner strength. Resilience. The ability to cope. And, not some thoughts that would take us to a worst-case scenario.
And, yet, this was the moment in which a phone call created a reality Brooks was unprepared for � and perhaps any of us would be unprepared for, especially if we were miles away from our loved one.
What would happen next?
For this author, she needed to find a way to cope with her grief. Which comes nearly 4 years later, by way of a solo trip to Flinders Island, a remote island off the coast of Tasmania. Her husband died on the American holiday, Memorial Day in 2019, and this will be her opportunity to begin her own memorial days. (Hence the title of the book.)
“…to feel the immensity of his loss.�
And, part of her journey will be going back and forth in time in sharing that horrible phone call alert moment of loss, as well as her loving relationship that encompassed life with Tony. And, all the people touched by his loss.
And, we, her readers will be her calming, soothing partners as we thoughtfully hold her hand through this journey. She may not know we are there, but we do. Because we are in touch with her feelings and her experience and her thoughts, and we are moved. And, heart-broken along with her. We know loss in our own ways. We have experienced losses of partners, or parents, or friends, or important relatives, or pets. And, we know the heartache. So, we are with her. Feeling her words. Her sorrow. Her loneliness. Her love. Her disbelief. Her immense grief. And, need to help hold it together, despite it all.
In some ways, I am reminded of Amy Bloom’s devastatingly beautiful memoir, “In Love� where she helped her husband, Brian Ameche, achieve assisted death. Obviously, the circumstances were different, but the expression of love shared by both women for their husbands, was whole-hearted.
Still, as I kept reading, I couldn’t help but feel her words were personally relatable.
“Who will die first? Because I was older, because I survived cancer�, I did not ask that question. I just assumed it would be me.�
So, many times I will reflect with humor and truthfulness to my husband, who is 5 years younger, that it is a good thing he is younger. Because I honestly would not know what to do without him. I have enjoyed him being my partner, my protector, my caregiver during the cancer journey, my best friend, and my forever love who I appreciate beyond words. So, much of the simple tasks of life, like driving, or grocery shopping, which he prefers to do, and I prefer not to do. So, he does it for both of us. (I am still intimidated by our electric car.) As a senior software specialist during his career, even in retirement, he continues to be tech savvy. Where the simplest problem, has me shrieking out in frustration. And yet, he just comes in, and with a simple key stroke, it is fixed.
At the same time, I want to consider the tasks of shared living with my partner, so that if something were to happen, I would know how to cope in his absence. I know I avoid these thoughts, but I also know it is something I need to consider seriously. If I should suddenly be alone. And, before that should ever happen, if it does.
But I still assume it will be me going first. But what if it isn’t? Even if I am not ready to go there, Brooks had no choice. She was there.
“Instead, I am here. Missing him. Alone.�
How does one live within their sorrow?
For Brooks, it was to learn to return to the “complicated grief� and “relive the trauma of the death.� It may sound maudlin, but there was much to appreciate in the author’s journey of doing so.
Because what we are learning along the way is what she came to appreciate in feeling all her emotions � to “make more time for the beauty.� Notice everything. Experience everything. Feel everything. Celebrate the moment, because it has “the power to elevate us out of sadness.� Where those enveloped in grief can give themselves time and space to be with their feelings. There is no deadline for getting over grief. And, we shouldn’t expect one.
This is a beautifully written, thoughtful, heart-felt and deeply emotional memoir.
For those who want to understand the impacts of grief or are attempting to process their own grief, readers will appreciate her experience and thoughts. Lovers of this author will value her intimate telling of her love story and grief journey.
Lastly…Two things to do before leaving this book.
First, read the author’s Afterword.
Second, take a look at the back cover insert. There is a pensive picture of the author having coffee with her husband. It is a moment in time, with smiles, that appears precious and thoughtful. Reminding all of us to treasure all those moments we may take for granted. Because, we truly have no idea of what tomorrow will bring.
This book, and the author’s following series books, “Persons Unknown� and “Remain Silent� were donated to my Little Free Library Shed. I decided to reThis book, and the author’s following series books, “Persons Unknown� and “Remain Silent� were donated to my Little Free Library Shed. I decided to read this one, to see if I might be interested in continuing with the series. This book is the first in the author’s Detective Sargeant (DS) Manon Bradshaw series.
Readers meet DS Bradshaw as a single woman who listens to her police radio as a way to get to sleep. It also focuses on her loneliness as a 39-year-old who settles for one-night stands.
The victim is a 24-year-old Edith Hind, a Cambridge postgrad who was working on her PhD on fighting the patriarchy in Victorian literature.
The story is rich in character development for her leads. Readers will be able to feel DS Bradshaw’s sadness and loneliness as well as her cleverness as a policewoman. And, although Edith is absent because of her known status as “the victim,� readers will still feel a strong connection to her in the way she is described throughout the story.
Even as the story feels depressing and disturbing, it also is compelling and highly believable. But it is slow moving with immense details about police procedurals that lead to a weak solution to the mystery and a rushed ending.
So, what did I decide about Book 2 and 3? They will go out into my Little Free Library Shed unread by me. I’m not a fan of depressing and disturbing reading these days. Interestingly enough, it didn’t take long for others to “check-out� the books from my Little Free Library Shed. I’m glad others are appreciating this author. Maybe I am an outlier?
3.5 stars (strong character development of leads)...more
I saw this book when I was doing a library search for another one. I was attracted to the cartoon characters of a polar bear and a penguin.
The story I saw this book when I was doing a library search for another one. I was attracted to the cartoon characters of a polar bear and a penguin.
The story begins with Virgil, a penguin who found a polar bear and decides, “…I’m keeping him.� And, off they go on fun ice adventures with other animals. But as Owen, the polar bear had fun on every adventure they went on, Virgil did not. Why?
What happens when we become possessive? Do we deny others the opportunity for fun? Or deny ourselves this opportunity? Why can’t we share in the joys of discovery together and with others?
Eventually, we can learn that we are on this journey in life with others. And, perhaps even find enjoyment that can lead to friendship.
This story has wonderful teaching lessons for kids of all ages.
I had just finished a delicious rom-com called “First-Time Caller� by BK Borison with a character named Lucie that I absolutely loved. Review here: htI had just finished a delicious rom-com called “First-Time Caller� by BK Borison with a character named Lucie that I absolutely loved. Review here: /review/show...
And, I wanted to read this one, because I loved the pre-quel, “The Light We Lost.� Review here: /review/show...
And, as I was reading this one, I am reminded that the main character’s name is Lucy, too and she is still in the throes of grief over the loss of Gabe, almost 10-years later. So, what is happening here? To me. As I read this one.
Is reading 2 rom-coms in a row a good thing? Or not?
Well, I am grateful for short chapters as I read on. But I keep asking myself�
How am I really feeling about this one?
To be honest, I am feeling dreadful.
Lucy begged to “heal me, please.� And, yes maybe we wanted that for her, too. But her healing journey didn’t come naturally. For me.
I wanted to connect to this novel, because I loved the first story so much. And, it seemed like it was the author’s intention to have readers feel Lucy’s life through ‘love, loss, birth, death, marriage, divorce, success, and the character’s perceived failures.�
But for me, everything felt forced. Her actions. Her reactions. Even her endless discussions with “dead� Gabe. And, even the moment she met Dax, and what came after, didn’t feel natural and meant to be, but instead felt expected. Like, we as readers were just supposed to go along with it. And, be happy and excited and gushy for Lucy. And, that just didn’t happen for me.
I didn’t feel the chemistry. Or the heart. Everything just felt like words tumbling together, that we are supposed to swoon over. And, no matter how hard I tried to get in to those words, I couldn’t feel any of it. The “feels� just weren’t there for me.
With this book, I found myself detached, disappointed, disinterested and anxious to leave. I know I am an outlier here, so please read other reviews....more
I love the Andy Carpenter series. I love that no matter what happens, there are always dogs in the story � with happy endings. So, there is something I love the Andy Carpenter series. I love that no matter what happens, there are always dogs in the story � with happy endings. So, there is something to be said about this attorney, Andy Carpenter, who is also the founder of the Tara Foundation (named after his golden retriever, Tara) that is a dog rescue organization.
And, as readers who love a bit of courtroom drama and a cozy mystery that needs to be solved, we can usually count on it in each of his stories, too.
Also, as a series, if readers can read the books in order, that is certainly encouraged. First book in the series, “Open and Shut� review here: /review/show...
But for me, I always appreciate the donations to my Little Free Library Shed, especially if it was a book in the series I missed. And, that is the case with this one. And, since I have been very familiar with everything about this series, I was still comfortable reading this one out-of-order.
The other thing that I can always count on with Rosenfelt’s writing, is a formula that works. Typically, I grow weary with formulaic stories. But for some reason, this one resonates with me. He always starts off his first chapter (which gratefully are always short) with something “foreboding.� And then, he weaves it into the story where finally whatever happened in that first chapter catches up to the rest of the story, seamlessly.
Oh, and did I mention the sense of humor displayed throughout his books? That is part of the series charm, too.
“As far as I know, Tara hasn’t barked it to a soul.�
And, of course there is always a dog on the book cover to capture readers hearts and attention.
Well, now that I got all these things out of the way, to share with you, let’s get on with the review of this particular book.
So, what trouble does Andy Carpenter find himself in now? Or, in Andy’s world, who might he be defending and why?
In this story, readers learn that there are some cases that Andy hasn’t won as a defense attorney. As the narrator, Andy explains that he believed they were truly innocent even if they were found guilty by a jury of peers. And, in those cases where he has gained quite an attachment to the client, he does his best to visit those that are still incarcerated for the crime. Like Joey Desimone.
When visiting Joey Desimone, he shares that Tara is now a therapy dog for the local hospital. So, Joey asks if he would visit his Uncle Nick with Tara, who isn’t doing so well. Upon fulfilling his request, Uncle Nick says something that leads Andy to believe there is more to the crime that was unknown at the time, that convicted Joey. So, what can he do with this information? Is it enough to re-open the case? And, could it possibly prove his client is truly innocent, as Andy has always believed?
With adept attention to details that provide clues to readers, Rosenfelt provides twists and turns that will keep readers a bit off-balance. But the page-turning energy still continues up to the final page. With a truly great ending twist!...more
“In the end, the law doesn’t do justice. People do.�
I was fortunate to receive this book as a donation to my Little Free Library Shed several months a“In the end, the law doesn’t do justice. People do.�
I was fortunate to receive this book as a donation to my Little Free Library Shed several months ago. I wasn’t sure whether I would read it or not, so I did not include it in on my currently reading list here. But with recent political events, it was hard not to take some time with it, to hear from someone who revere’s the law.
As our government implodes under the current regime, and democracy takes a backseat, it is hard not to wonder if justice really works. After reading John Grisham’s novels about wrongful convictions, I teetered on the edge of disillusionment with the law. Review of Framed here: /review/show... and The Innocent Man: /review/show...
Can there be hope that corruption won’t permeate the system and that there are still some good honest individuals doing everything they can to uphold Lady Justice?
Enter Bharara who once was the United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York. His office prosecuted the Times Square Bomber and two top legislators in Albany, N.Y. His background shows him as a fighter of public corruption, with a deep appreciation for the values that define the rule of law which includes: procedural fairness, independence from political influence; and, respect for “truth, dignity, and justice.�
I am feeling hope.
In his podcast, “Stay Tuned with Preet� he is efficient with his interviews and summarizing cases for the layman. He seems rational, humane, intelligent with immense integrity, and character. With his interviews that sometimes touch on the justice system under Trump, he comes across as reasonable, articulate and smart in his discussions.
So, how is it with his memoir?
He explains in his preface that he has wanted to write a guide for young prosecutors, not so much about the legal texts, but about real human dilemmas. So, in many ways this seems more a teaching tool than a simple memoir. He shares�
This book “might in fact be a guide to justice generally, not only for practitioners, but for real people who strive and struggle in their homes and offices to be fair and just.�
His book is divided into four parts � Inquiry, Accusation, Judgment and Punishment. As if we are following a criminal case. And yes, those who dispense justice, or are involved are considered regular humans prone to behave accordingly. He is definitely appealing for a time when the law is backed by a system that is supposed to protect the innocent and convict the guilty and will keep present society from descending into lawlessness.
How does that work with a convict as the President of the United States where all rules are broken and not respected?
The author shares that�
“There is a creeping contempt for truth and expertise. …We swim in lies, never corrected. And the concept of justice seems turned on its head � holding different meaning depending on whether you are a political adversary or ally.�
His storytelling is compelling as readers are introduced to what it is like to work as a federal prosecutor. It is obvious how morally vested he is in the law profession. In such fractured times, when the law seems devoid of morality, his passion shows through.
“Certain norms do matter. Our adversaries are not our enemies; the law is not a political weapon; objective truths do exist; fair process is essential in civilized society.�
Not a political weapon?
Did he really know how dangerous Trump would be as it relates to the law when he wrote this? (This book was originally published in 2019.)
Still, reading this does bring a small sense of hope. Readers will no doubt feel his presence as it relates to ethical justice via the law. Especially knowing he has had interactions with Trump and recognizes the complexity of what that means.
Thus, reading his story, which shines a light on his love and respect for the law, makes this book an appealing memoir....more
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