So, I listened to this one, and that was definitely part of the problem for me in terms of just attention and retention of the ideas involved. And I mSo, I listened to this one, and that was definitely part of the problem for me in terms of just attention and retention of the ideas involved. And I may pick it up someday and try again, but it's not a high priority for me. Here are some of the reasons I DNF'ed.
- One trouble with nonfic is often that you have to convince the reader that you're worth listening to. Unfortunately, I rarely find this part to be enjoyable. So hearing credentials and why he is an expert didn't work for me.
- The audio problem: Listening to the summary portions at the end of chapters was just hard to really synthesize in my brain. I don't blame the author, obviously, but it was a factor.
- It felt manipulative. Look, I actually endorse and embrace the idea of listening and building relationships to understand people. Solid thumbs-up from me. And I think it has excellent uses. Like in trying to parent--some of the parenting examples were good reminders to me that I need to see the situation from my child's POV and be willing to come up with creative solutions that help us both. But when the real answer is "convince the other person that your version is the best one and don't yield at all," I'm just not on board.
I get the idea behind the title--you really can't "split the difference" in something like a hostage negotiation. "Sure, it's fine if you only kill the hostages a little." Yeah, no. But some of the business examples just felt... wrong. This is also probably why I would not do well in business.
- The final moment for me to nope out of this book, however, is the chapter in which he talked about how "no" is just a starting point for negotiation. I get his point, and he brings up some situations where that is a potentially valid viewpoint. HOWEVER, "no" is actually "no" in many/most contexts, and as far as I could see (I couldn't get much further into this section), nowhere does he acknowledge that.
To be clear, I'm thinking very specifically of cases where guys (okay, it's not always guys) won't take no for an answer in dating/relationships/sex. So yeah, this whole bit felt icky.
Sooo... Maybe he does get there, but the book just didn't do enough for me to stick through it....more
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