I wrote a really long review of this book and then goodreads crashed and ate it. :(
So, TL;DRW version: I picked this up as an Overdrive audiobook narraI wrote a really long review of this book and then goodreads crashed and ate it. :(
So, TL;DRW version: I picked this up as an Overdrive audiobook narrated by Tanya Eby. Even though I'm grossed out by fictional blood, guts, violence and decomposition (for instance zombies), I really enjoyed this book. Part of it was the very clinical but sympathetic description of the work-- I'm a sucker for true medical stories--, and part of it was the emotional connection that Dr. Melinek and her co-author put into the stories of the cases. I felt privileged to meet Dr. Charles Hirsch and the other NYC medical examiners through her eyes. I was impressed by Dr. Melinek's understanding of her place in the grieving process for families.
Though Dr. Melinek was in NYC during 9/11 and the later Queens aircraft crash, she doesn't discuss those until the 2nd half of the book. I thought I might not be able to handle that part, but in a lot of ways, for someone who only saw the events through the media, hearing about the victim identification process at The Pile was sort of an experience of closure.
The book was very well written (props to Dr. Melinek's writing partner and spouse!) AND I would recommend it to those who like medical material and have a relative strong stomach for it, but not a completely unqueasy one....more
I bought this as a 'read an essay at a time' book for the smallest room in the house. :) Some of the essays are really moving-- the ones by Studs TerkeI bought this as a 'read an essay at a time' book for the smallest room in the house. :) Some of the essays are really moving-- the ones by Studs Terkel, Albert Einstein (An Idea of Service to our Fellow Man), Helen Hayes (A Morning Prayer in a little church, talking about the death of her daughter), Jackie Robinson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Maximilian Hodder, Margaret Sanger, Arnold Toynbee, Isabelle Allende (In giving I connect with others), Azar Nafisi (Mysterious Connections that link us together), Eboo Patel (We are each other's business), Sarah Adams (Be Cool to the Pizza Dude), Deidre Sullivan (Always Go to the Funeral). But somehow, the book as a whole seems to be less than the sum of its parts....more
Just didn't grab me the way his other essay collections did. Though I liked reading about his learning to iron a shirt properly, about his experience Just didn't grab me the way his other essay collections did. Though I liked reading about his learning to iron a shirt properly, about his experience with the art model and the guy in the ape suit, and his love of field trips....more
I'm not sure how to review this book, because I don't know how many people are like me, and will read this book and want to *be* it. If you are a bathI'm not sure how to review this book, because I don't know how many people are like me, and will read this book and want to *be* it. If you are a bathing/spa-ing fiend, a real water type, you may enjoy this the way I did. If you like travel memoirs with a theme but with some odd personal adventures, you may like it. If you are the kind of person who likes coffee-table books filled with gorgeous pictures of decadent bathrooms, pools, spas (and the publishing industry suggests there are plenty of them), this may be the text-based equivalent. If you are just plain interested in the pursuit of sensual experiences with hot water and steam, you'll probably like this. If you are, however, not interested in the exploits and personal reminiscences of a young, well-off woman visiting multiple countries to focus on a relatively obscure cultural pastime-- if the self-centered-ness and cultural parochialism of the young annoys you-- this would be good to skip.
After a friendly visit to a high-scale steam spa in the Arabic style in Paris, Brue is convinced by her international socialite/banker friend Marina that she should do research for a business plan to open a hammam-style spa in the U.S. Admittedly, this is more-or-less unveiled excuse to travel to many international destinations and take the waters there. (Hey, I want this for my 55th birthday, ok?) Brue investigates Turkish baths (and a well-off young man) in Turkey, follows up with some history of Roman baths in a Greek archaeological excavation, then tries the banyas of Russia and the similar-yet-completely different bath routines of the Finns and their saunas; finishing up with the Japanese onsen/sentos, and finally finishing up at the historic if badly weathered shvitz on East Tenth in New York City.. Along the way she meets interesting people, hooks up with interesting men, and takes lots of baths and steams. (view spoiler)[She finally admits she and Marina are never going to build that hamam business: but that's ok, because the experiences were worth it for their own sake. (hide spoiler)]
I admit that, especially as she is writing as a relatively young woman, there are moments that make me twitch for the cultural tone-deafness-- but she admits it herself, that these are 'what it made me think of'. What I like best about this book is her writing specifically about women in these bathing cultures; the way women (and sometimes men) who enjoy the baths have different relationships to themselves and these cultural traditions. She sees with the eyes of an outsider who wants to be an insider, and who knows that she is really only an anthropologist-visitor; but an appreciative one. Most of all, I like this book because she also loves the things I love and she leads me on a tour of places I wish I could go to (admittedly with some, unrelated, silly men and some rather odd people by the way, which I could take or leave, but memoirs often have those).
At the back of the book is a set of guides, or reviews, to many of the baths she visited. Being from 2003 at least, it's probably dated. Still interesting.
This is a gorgeous book, with beautiful text, but it's not really a kids' book. It's a memorial, to a very special grandfather, who taught the author This is a gorgeous book, with beautiful text, but it's not really a kids' book. It's a memorial, to a very special grandfather, who taught the author how to appreciate and listen to nature. The writing about how the earth prays is lyrical and would be great for spiritual readings, especially since most majority-culture-written material of that kind tends to be culturally appropriative of Native American cultures. But the death of the grandfather at the end, and the author's eventual realization that he understands what his grandfather meant, really pushes it out of the picture-book milieu....more
What a great collection! As a parent in a different kind of non-traditional family, I was drawn to this book by the idea of learning about others' expWhat a great collection! As a parent in a different kind of non-traditional family, I was drawn to this book by the idea of learning about others' experiences, and I definitely got what I came for.
This covers a very wide range, from "Watching" where the 'other mother' originally intended to be the birthmother but Nature didn't cooperate; to the "Lesbian Dad" (a non-biological lesbian parent who chose the "Dad" role as her model); to women who have already been birthmothers and are now experiencing being the other parent in a partner's parenting journey, or the other way around; and the more typical but none-the-less important story of the lesbian "step-mom." All kinds of birthing situations are presenting, from the frustrating "And You Are?" where the refusal to recognize lesbian partnerships puts frustrating barriers between partners and child in the hospital, to the amazingly lesbian-friendly midwives plus birthing center, and even combinations: a failed pregnancy with opinionated medical staff for Robin of "From the Outposts," followed by a very positive pregnancy and birthing experience with midwives (though finishing with a c-section) for her partner.
These lesbian parents have thought long and hard about not just gender roles and parenting, but also how lesbian families interact with the larger community. There is the "High-Femme Dad" (whose questions about gender roles and sex lives in parenting sound very dad-to be), the couple who finds themselves explaining their choices to the grandmother's partner and hippy friends, or, in "Naked Brunch," a visit to an accepting great-aunt at the nursing home, where the status of having visitors with a toddler may or may not be altered by the lesbian parents... In "Mr. Anonymous," a non-birthmother struggles with the desire to involve the (accidentally outed) anonymous donor in her child's life now that the family has split. In "Parenting as a Subversive Activity" and "Life as Mama" the authors talk about negotiating work and public relationships-- having a child essential requires a degree of outing. Dawn Beckman and her partner even wrote two psychology books on Lesbian parenting.
Parenting has its ups and downs for everyone, but non-biological and biological moms need to make gender-fraught choices about who stays home with the baby, who takes the longer parental leave, who does which kinds of parenting tasks. Straight fathers of long-breastfeeding children will probably sympathize with the author of "Betsy Loves Bobbies"-- bobbies being their 2 year old's name for breastfeeding. All of this is complicated by the varieties of recognized status involved -- some have done non-parent adoptions, some were able to be in legally recognized partnerships, but most have not. The most heartrending story is "Family of the Heart," the story of a lesbian stepmom, whose partner had 2 boys from a previous straight marriage. Because they both came from traditional family backgrounds, and because of the fraught relationship with the boys' father, there's a lot of family and social rejection in the story-- but a good bit of triumph too.
I've already recommended this to one lesbian acquaintance who mentioned that she and her wife are considering having a baby (did you know that there are workshops for lesbian couples trying to decide whether to try for a baby? I had no idea). A great and valuable book...more
I really enjoyed this introduction to American Hasidic women's life experiences, and their pursuit of spirituality as a group, since it is based on a I really enjoyed this introduction to American Hasidic women's life experiences, and their pursuit of spirituality as a group, since it is based on a Luncheon and Torah study group. The very diversity of women in the group-- a lawyer, a rebbetzin, a school principal, as well as younger women navigating the world of Hasidic matchmaking and marriage customs-- is engaging. Some of the women grew up in observant "Torah homes" and some didn't. Using these ladies' lives, the authors explore their experiences with the mikvah, with matchmaking, with childraising, with dark times, with charity, and with supporting each other. It definitely leaves you with a warm feeling and an understanding of why these women belong to and support their faith community and tradition. I wish I had a Sarah in my life and my spiritual tradition too! (Reading about the founding of Kar-Ben publishing added to my later experiences with their books, through the PJ Library.)...more
Listened to this as an audiobook (I wonder what the full version is like, vs. the Young Readers). I thought this might be what Edgar Eager's characterListened to this as an audiobook (I wonder what the full version is like, vs. the Young Readers). I thought this might be what Edgar Eager's characters call an "improving" book, but it's not, really. It's a good read, with a focus on the library-book fueled tinkering William did and on his ambitions. There was a goodly amount about the famine and about his struggles to get an education-- and also about the lives of young African men... he and his ghostwriter describe what things were big experiences for him, like taking a plane out of the country and finally discovering the Internet, as well as the science principles behind his work. The stories about almost burning his house down and the (hilarious) time he tried to fast-ferment biogas in his mother's bean pot show that not everything he tried worked. I especially liked how the writing breaks down the electrical/physical principles so even someone who coasted through physics in high school can follow them.
A good, interesting, accessible book for young and old makers, scroungers and salvagers. There's a lot about his desire for continuing his education, even at a not-so-good school, and about his fears for the future before he was able to do some of the projects he dreamed of. How much of this is emphasized for the benefit of his young readers I don't know. The epilogue talks about what has happened since his project became well known and he was invited to give a TED presentation. ...more
Nichols, the Original Bright Young Thing (as someone quoted in his Wikipedia entry said), can be described as arch, quaint, and twee. Gladys Taber he Nichols, the Original Bright Young Thing (as someone quoted in his Wikipedia entry said), can be described as arch, quaint, and twee. Gladys Taber he was not. His is the kind of humorous affectation that makes Neil Gaiman's comment "gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide" amusing. He is always rushing about in his prose, as well as rushing up to town and down again, coming up with quixotic gardening plans and quaint affectations.
And yet, there's an amusement to reading his works. Under the painfully post-Edwardian flightiness are moments of earnestness and devotion, for instance to his cats, and to a variety of kinds of beauty, especially in plants. I can sympathize with his description of being able to 'shrink' oneself mentally to look at a doll's house or a rockery as if you were two inches tall and exploring it.
I myself regard both rhododendrons and installing concrete in the garden as inventions of the devil, but understand the drive that causes us to do ridiculous things, especially in pursuit of garden beauty. Personally, I can't imagine accidentally investing in yards and yards of Nice Balustrade in stone, with no plan for getting it installed, and then hiding from one's factotum (or family) the imminent arrival of 'The Men' to install it... but I do recall the smuggling-in of one capriciously purchased piece of furniture and none of my family feel I am to be safely allowed out in the vicinity of garage sales, after all.
One- namely me-- has to deplore what is clearly the egging-on of the males in the vicinity of the feud between Miss Emily and Our Rose (why on earth do can't people stay out the middle of such things, or cut the connection with someone being a dip? It's like Facebook in a garden), but I admit the whole tongue-twisting business of "nettles, thistles, and docks" had me giggling helplessly. And of course, I will never cease to envy the renaissance-like perfection of his water-garden as described and pictured in the sketches....more
I enjoyed this memoir and meditation on what it was like to be involved in the political life of the White House in the mid-1990s, specifically for a I enjoyed this memoir and meditation on what it was like to be involved in the political life of the White House in the mid-1990s, specifically for a young woman of mixed race.
Among other things, it brings back the memories of what it meant to be a young woman in those days, working with older men who might be mentors, or who might be putting us down, or who might be coming on to us-- and we had to be prepared for, and concerned about, all three. For a young woman who worked in the Clinton White House from early in the Presidency and through the Monica Lewinsky scandal, that issue would thread through one's entire memories. (I really hope young women starting out in the world have less cause to consider and re-consider such things as we did.)
I was also interested in how Ms. Aab thought about her early professional experiences in the light of 'outsider syndrome' and the seductive glamour that writers before her have written about that surrounds the White House. In this way, her writing invites comparison with Upstairs at the White House: My Life with the First Ladies, though I admit it doesn't live up to that blockbuster, nor for that matter, Behind the Scenes: Or, Thirty Years a Slave, and Four Years in the White House, another look at a conflict-torn White House administration.
Is this book slight? Yes. Does it cover only a few parts of the story? Yes. Does it apologize for President Clinton? No, not exactly. Does it explain why women who were young then could still value that presidency despite the revelations? Perhaps. Is there a lot of personal story? Yes, it's a memoir. Is it a different insight into being a 1990s bright young thing getting involved in politics? Yes....more
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