I didn't like this one quite as much as The Book of Delights: Essays (one of my all-time faves), I think in part because this is more of a book of essI didn't like this one quite as much as The Book of Delights: Essays (one of my all-time faves), I think in part because this is more of a book of essays whereas Book of Delights was more essaylettes, and maybe I prefer Ross Gay's writing when he plays with brevity. In Inciting Joy, sometimes I found myself skimming when he would recap a piece of media I was unfamiliar with, like when he spends several pages recapping a Herman Melville book, or when he would make a page-long list of negative things happening in the world (once or twice across the book would be fine, but it felt like this happened in at least half of the essays?).
Regardless, I love Ross Gay as a thinker and writer and have never regretted spending time with his work. For me, the standout piece in this book that I wanted to forward to multiple people was his chapter on masculinity, grief, and football. ...more
Highly recommend these essays. A few quotes I copied down:
The ethnic literary project has always been a humanist project in which nonwhite writers mus
Highly recommend these essays. A few quotes I copied down:
The ethnic literary project has always been a humanist project in which nonwhite writers must prove that they are human beings who feel pain... I don't think, therefore I am - I hurt, therefore I am. Therefore, my books are graded on a pain scale. If it's a 2, maybe it's not worth telling my story. If it's a 10, maybe my book will be a bestseller.
Innocence is, as Bernstein writes, not just an "absence of knowledge" but "an active state of repelling knowledge," embroiled in the statement, "Well I don't see race" where I eclipses the seeing. Innocence is both a privilege and a cognitive handicap, a sheltered unknowingness that, once protracted into adulthood, hardens into entitlement. Innocence is not just sexual deflection but a deflection of one's position in the socioeconomic hierarchy, based on the confidence that one is "unmarked" and "free to be you and me." The ironic result of this innocence, writes the scholar Charles Mills, is that whites are "unable to understand the world that they themselves have made."
This book is T4T, in that I think it's the first trans memoir that I've read that doesn't feel like it's written with an imaginary cis reader in mind.This book is T4T, in that I think it's the first trans memoir that I've read that doesn't feel like it's written with an imaginary cis reader in mind. It's filled with lots of in-jokes and winks about a certain kind of middle-class trans culture that I'm well familiar with. The essays were uneven, mostly because I don't care much about classic literature, but overall I just loved this so much. Any art that can make me laugh and cry within the same minute is a winner.
"What I wanted at the outset of transition was the opportunity to fold back the page at this particular turning point and live forward in two directions at once, in one version of my life where I transitioned and in one where I didn't, then revisit after about fifteen solid years in each reality and make an informed assessment of which life proved better. I had no interest in keeping my eyes only on my own work. I wanted my work, and everyone else's, and for someone to come and help me with mine in the bargain. I wanted a guaranteed outcome before moving forward. I wanted what was best, and I wanted to know what was best in advance, with frequent updates to follow just in case the good or the better suddenly moved into the lead."
From the essay "Pirates at the Funeral: 'It Feels Like Somone Died,' but Someone Actually Didn't":
"On the one hand, here is death: stagnant, permanent, immobilized, silent, unvarying, inactive, formless, characterless, shrinking, constrictive, irreversible. On the other hand, here is transition: active, forceful, adaptable, energetic, animated, expansive, full of possibility, capacious, comprehensive, vital, ambitious. Loss may be part of the project of transition, but hardly the primary or initializing force... But the loss was not only necessary, it was inevitable, and it cleared room for the possibility of something new, compelling, shared, productive, and profoundly good. Loss was present; death wasn't. There is something willfully perverse about bereavement in the face of new life. My hope is not to squash or censor the complicated feelings of non-transitioning people, but to reconsider the direction of their sorrow... To enter into mourning, to reenact the rituals of death, to borrow its vernacular, is to cut off understanding, curiosity, possibility, knowledge before they have a chance to flourish."
I also loved his quote from his friend: "God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation."...more
This book re-oriented me to the world, and I loved it so so much. In the days since finishing it, I have been noticing so many new delights, and even This book re-oriented me to the world, and I loved it so so much. In the days since finishing it, I have been noticing so many new delights, and even potential annoyances have become chuckle-inducing mini-delights. Ross Gay is very connected to the joys of living without seeming dissociated from the hard parts. It was like taking a very mild but long-lasting ecstasy pill. What more could you ask of a book?...more
These were great essays! I feel like this book should be more popular than it is. She's a professor of sociology, and while she certainly b4.5 stars.
These were great essays! I feel like this book should be more popular than it is. She's a professor of sociology, and while she certainly brought in that theory and grounding, her ability to write with clarity, humor, and heart bring the theory down to earth enough to be appreciated by a wide audience. The only time I got a little lost by the theory was in her second essay, "In the Name of Beauty."
As someone deeply baffled by the popularity of David Brooks, the final essay in this collection, "Girl 6," especially cracked me up. I'd love to see Tressie McMillan Cottom replace Brooks at the NY Times! We'd all be better for it. ...more
A solid collection, though I did feel bored by the end by the theme, despite the diversity of identities represented. I'm in a fact-gathering mood, soA solid collection, though I did feel bored by the end by the theme, despite the diversity of identities represented. I'm in a fact-gathering mood, so the science-y tidbits in some of the essays about why we cry when we're angry or how hangry-ness is perceived across gender were my favorite parts. I think I would have liked the collection better if it were a few essays shorter. ...more
3.5 stars. Overall, I really liked the essays and the diversity of disabilities represented in the essays.
However, most of the essays weren't very in3.5 stars. Overall, I really liked the essays and the diversity of disabilities represented in the essays.
However, most of the essays weren't very intersectional. And a few were white/male in unexamined ways that felt like a problem, like the white(?) person with anxiety who had an anxiety attack about another airplane passenger in part because he texted in an "alphabet I don't recognize," and then didn't really acknowledge that impact/power that could have. Anxiety is so real as a disability, but white people's anxiety can be deadly to POCI, and it was troubling to see an example of that go completely unacknowledged. Additionally, a few of the male writers talking about dating also wrote in a way that felt laced with misogyny. ...more
3.5 stars. Carl Sagan's daughter on rituals - daily, autumnal, death, etc. I was tiring toward the end of the anthropological overviews of how many di3.5 stars. Carl Sagan's daughter on rituals - daily, autumnal, death, etc. I was tiring toward the end of the anthropological overviews of how many different cultures celebrate an aspect of life/the year. I was much more interested in her own personal rituals and relationship with her family. ...more
I love that mental health is becoming a more mainstream topic amongst millennials - at least, it's becoming common to disclose an anxiety or depressioI love that mental health is becoming a more mainstream topic amongst millennials - at least, it's becoming common to disclose an anxiety or depression diagnosis. And increasingly but maybe less so, bipolar or PTSD. But psychosis and personality disorders still feel stigmatized, even as discussions about other disorders/illnesses open up.
There was a lot that I loved and appreciated about this book, and I read it within 48 hours of starting. It kind of reminded me of Leslie Jamison's The Empathy Exams: Essays. But I kept feeling like there was something missing as I was reading that I kept waiting for and not finding. Part of it might be that there's an unstated financial privilege underlying her story that I kept waiting for her to name, but she never did. Maybe because I read When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir earlier this year, in which Patrisse Cullors talks about her brother's treatment as a black man with schizoaffective disorder (the same diagnosis as Wang, but with drastically different care). I couldn't help but keep thinking about the huge contrast between Esme Weijun Wang and Patrisse Cullors's brother, that has everything to do with race and class. And finally, I think I also wanted to hear more about the spectrum of psychosis/collection of schizophrenias, like psychotic depression and post-partum psychosis, but that wish might be unfair since she doesn't have personal experience in those areas. ...more
4.5 stars. Heartbreaking, compassionate essay on children immigrating/seeking asylum from Central America to the United States. Valeria Luiselli volun4.5 stars. Heartbreaking, compassionate essay on children immigrating/seeking asylum from Central America to the United States. Valeria Luiselli volunteered as a translator for children in the New York court system, asking them a list of 40 questions that had been designed to elicit stories from them for lawyers to use in building their cases for asylum.
I read it in one sitting, crying a lot in the beginning and the end. With all the recent news about the prisons for children growing on the US border and what's happening to unaccompanied minors, this brought up a lot of familiar feelings of despair. I wouldn't say this gave me any reason to hope, but I feel a bit better informed, and moved to action again. I learned a lot in the 100 pages, including about Programa Frontera Sur and how gangs like MS13 and Calle 18 moved from the States further South.
3.5 stars. Mary Oliver always makes me feel like I should be outside more.
"Great blue herons, like angels carved by Giacometti, are common."
"And this
3.5 stars. Mary Oliver always makes me feel like I should be outside more.
"Great blue herons, like angels carved by Giacometti, are common."
"And this is what I learned, that the world's otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness - the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books - can re-dignify the worst-stung heart."
"In this universe, we are given two gifts: the ability to love, and the ability to ask questions. Which are, at the same time, the fires that warm us and the fires that scorch us."
On Whitman - "Clearly his idea of paradise was here - this hour and this place. And yet he was, in his way, just as the mystic is a man apart, a man of difference.... He was after a joyfulness, a belief in existence in which man's inner light is neither rare nor elite, but godly and common and acknowledged."
"But probably it is closer to hope, that is more active, and far messier than faith must be. Faith, as I imagine it, is tensile, and cool, and has no need of words. Hope, as I know it, is a fighter and a screamer."
"What I mean by spirituality is not theology, but attitude."
Wow, totally worth the hype. I found something new in just about every essay, and leave this book with a lot to think about. I'm tempted to say that eWow, totally worth the hype. I found something new in just about every essay, and leave this book with a lot to think about. I'm tempted to say that even non-Minnesotans should read this, everything was just such gold.
The only thing I was hoping for from this book that I didn't find was a Somali or Muslim POC voice - I think the Islamophobia/xenophobia/racism combo is really prominent in MN right now (at least in my part of the state/city), and the book doesn't feel complete without that perspective....more
Not every essay was a five star read, but Kiese Laymon's voice is so singular and weird that I've gotta recommend it. Despite the essays being smartlyNot every essay was a five star read, but Kiese Laymon's voice is so singular and weird that I've gotta recommend it. Despite the essays being smartly constructed and worded, there's something about them that feels casual, almost messy, and I kind of fell in love with him over the course of reading it. I enjoyed this collection more than his fiction, Long Division. Can't wait for more of his stuff to come out. ...more
I didn't agree with or even like all of Jamison's thoughts here, but damn, I underlined so much that my pen almost ran out of ink. Read I didn't agree with or even like all of Jamison's thoughts here, but damn, I underlined so much that my pen almost ran out of ink. Read to decide if her work is for you.
"I wonder if my empathy has always been this, in every case: just a bout of hypothetical self-pity projected onto someone else.... Empathy isn't just something that happens to us -... it's also a choice we make: to pay attention, to extend ourselves.... This confession of effort chafes against the notion that empathy should always arise unbidden, that genuine means the same thing as unwilled, that intentionality is the enemy of love."
"I was once called a wound dweller...It was a few years ago and I'm still not over it. (It was a wound; I dwell)."...more
Listened to this on audio. For some reason, this one felt more hollow than his other books that I've listened to. Maybe it's because there were fewer Listened to this on audio. For some reason, this one felt more hollow than his other books that I've listened to. Maybe it's because there were fewer really personal essays in here, or maybe it's because since I last checked out Sedaris I've grown attached to other humorists who pack a little more heart and vulnerability in their funny stories....more
An artist illustrates the "ideal bookshelves" of a bunch of famous people. Definitely a fun coffee-table book. I have a full page of new book recommenAn artist illustrates the "ideal bookshelves" of a bunch of famous people. Definitely a fun coffee-table book. I have a full page of new book recommendations now. And I'm looking forward to thinking up my own list of books that have changed my life and made me who I am.
But holy crap, did this book ever point out how much people love male authors. Seriously, people (esp men) would have 15-20 books with only 1 or 2 by a woman, if even that many.
***
OK so after 10 minutes of looking through my Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ, here are the books that have had a profound influence on me:
Kids ages 4-12 ask "great minds" questions. Some of it was only skim-worthy, but some of it was adorable/interesting/heartbreaking.
Favorite questions:Kids ages 4-12 ask "great minds" questions. Some of it was only skim-worthy, but some of it was adorable/interesting/heartbreaking.
Favorite questions:
* Can a bee sting another bee? * Why are the grown-ups in charge? * Why is space so sparkly? * What would I look like if I didn't have a skeleton? * Why do snails have shells but slugs don't?
Favorite answers - a lot of the science ones were interesting, and some of the others were touching, but Jeanette Winterson's is the only only I want to copy down.
"Q: How do you fall in love?
You don't fall in love like you fall in a hole. You fall like falling through space. It's like you jump off your own private planet to visit someone else's planet. And when you get there it all looks different: the flowers, the animals, the colours people wear. It is a big surprise falling in love because you thought you had everything just right on your own planet, and that was true, in a way, but then somebody signalled to you across space and the only way you could visit was to take a giant jump... And you can bring your friends to visit. And read your favorite stories to each other. And the falling was really the big jump that you had to make to be with someone you don't want to be without. That's it.
I've been asking around for audio book recommendations for the days I don't carpool, and someone I volunteer with suggested listening to female comediI've been asking around for audio book recommendations for the days I don't carpool, and someone I volunteer with suggested listening to female comedian memoirs.
While I do think Samantha Bee's a funny lady, she's funny in a traditional way, if that makes any sense. Like, she doesn't quite have the personality that some of my other favorite women in comedy do. But maybe it's a matter of taste....more
3.5 stars. Perhaps it would have been a better experience if I hadn't wolfed down the book in two or three sittings, because at times the stories star3.5 stars. Perhaps it would have been a better experience if I hadn't wolfed down the book in two or three sittings, because at times the stories started feeling redundant. But all the pieces were heartfelt, many were beautifully written, and there are diverse voices in here, though a little more diversity is always a desirable improvement.
The comics were great, especially the ones by Lucy Knisley and Michael DiMotta. And I loved Diane DiMassa's piece for its grit and refusal to sugar coat adulthood. And there were plenty of lines in the essays that I would have highlighted if it weren't a library book.
One thing that I can't fault the book for but that distracted me nonetheless: the grandfather paradox. I kept worrying that the writers were divulging too much to their younger selves before remembering that time travel is still NOT POSSIBLE (and this book is probably more about reaching current teens/storytelling rather than an expression of what the authors actually wish they could have known back then). But just in case, if I had to send a letter, I think it would be really brief and vague. Like, "hey x - made it to 24. there is plenty of happiness for you here, and it's worth it." But even that feels like too much info. I think I watched too much TV growing up....more
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