A series of creepy, unsettling, horror-filled stories of fear, obsession, fantasy, and misery. While I generally appreciate unconventional stories thaA series of creepy, unsettling, horror-filled stories of fear, obsession, fantasy, and misery. While I generally appreciate unconventional stories that make you think differently about human nature and society, these were a little too much for me as a whole. The odd fetishes, pedophilia, bodily harm, and abuse were all fairly disturbing. The writing is certainly evocative and impactful, otherwise I wouldn’t have been affected so much, but a lot of the stories feel like incomplete ideas.
The stories I enjoyed the most were “Kids Who Come Back� � about missing kids who suddenly reappear in the same exact state they first went missing in, but different � and “Back When We Talked to the Dead� � about a group of girls communing with the spirits of those who had been taken....more
A thoughtful, cozy story about finding what makes you happy, surrounding yourself with love, (both people and things that bring you joy), an3.75 stars
A thoughtful, cozy story about finding what makes you happy, surrounding yourself with love, (both people and things that bring you joy), and making your home a refuge of comfort. I loved the way the character’s lives intertwined with each another, and seeing the impact of their kind actions on the rest of their lives. And you have to love a cat cafe where the servers are literal cats, bringing you life advice and the perfect snack based on your unique star chart.
I will admit to finding some of the astrology stuff confusing, most specifically the age of Pisces/age of Aquarius stuff and the periods of life things. But I did like how the charts and astrology prompted the characters examine their lives and their choices, and self-reflect on what makes them the most happy and fulfilled.
“Understand yourself, and you’ll be able to care for yourself. As long as you do that, you’ll shine like the star that you are.�...more
A fantastical and adventurous tale about the power of books to imbue people with empathy for others, and the importance of human connection. The pointA fantastical and adventurous tale about the power of books to imbue people with empathy for others, and the importance of human connection. The point of books and reading isn’t to read the most books and to gain status or make the most money by publishing the books you think people want to read, it’s to push yourself to learn new things, to enjoy the journey of reading, and to become more compassionate.
Rintaro clearly loved books, and also loved his grandpa, but had shut himself away so completely (as a hikikomura) that he seemed to have forgotten that there were people out there who cared about him and wanted to connect, to discuss books and life. The cat might have shown up asking for Rintaro’s help to save the books in these magical lands, but perhaps, as Rintaro eventually wondered, the cat actually came to save Rintaro himself. ...more
**spoiler alert** A vicious and cutting takedown of the publishing industry’s culture of racism that somehow coexists with their surface desire for di**spoiler alert** A vicious and cutting takedown of the publishing industry’s culture of racism that somehow coexists with their surface desire for diversity - but only a token diversity, in social-media-pleasing ways. It’s also a deep dive into the mind of a lonely, dissatisfied woman who’s jealousy and need for constant validation drive her to do increasingly horrible things she somehow justifies to herself as rational. Meanwhile, she’s also slowly being driven crazy, thinking the ghost of her dead frenemy is back for revenge. And just when you think there’s no lower to sink, the cycle starts back up again, because June can’t bear to not have the last word in her own story.
This book was deeply anxious and uncomfortable for me to read. I have a tendency to overly sympathize with narrators - it’s just part of how my brain works, and normally, that’s just fine. But with a narrator like June, half the time I wanted her to be punished for her lies and prideful attitude, and the other half, I felt sorry for her sad family and her lack of real friends and wanted her to succeed, to at least have SOMETHING. I was constantly worried someone was going to find out the truth and what that would mean for June. I’m sure how the book was written play a part in that - it’s structured like a memoir in many ways, with June warning us of the bad things to come, and choosing what we did and don’t know. She is the definition of an unreliable narrator, fully admitting to her need to shape the narrative for her own benefit, always looking for a way to spin things so people will see her side. And every once in a while, her facade slips and shows how she truly sees herself: as the real victim.
But then you wonder - is that the facade slipping or was this all planned from the start? If we know June is an unreliable narrator, who tells half-truths for her own benefit, and is deeply invested in pulling people to believe her side of events, what’s to say that didn’t start in the very first chapters of this book? Did June really not know CPR? Was she truly horrified to watch Athena die? Or did June help Athena along, purposely not interceding or calling for help on time to save her? The truth might be somewhere in the middle, but there’s no way to know for sure. And that’s part of the mystery of this book.
As for the social media witch-hunts June faced, I’ve seen enough of those happen on Twitter, Threads, and across the internet to fully believe in how horrible, racist, and sexist they can be. There’s nothing like anonymity to give people the freedom to say the most vile things possible to another human. And sometimes those pile-ons happen before all the info is even known about a situation. All it takes is a retweet from the wrong person and you’ve gone viral. It’s one of the major downfalls of our constantly-online global community.
A quick note about my rating: this book is well-written and well-plotted, and I’m not surprised so many people like it, but my ratings are intrinsically tied to my enjoyment of a book, and this one made me so anxious at the thought of turning it on again that I didn’t listen to audiobooks at all for several days. I ended up switch to the ebook so I could get through it faster, and I honestly might have DNFed if this wasn’t for my book club. The strong feelings it evoked is certainly a sign of the power of the writing. In the end, it’s just not the type of book I enjoy reading, and that’s ok. Hopefully if the author is reading her ŷ reviews, this doesn’t bother her. ...more
**spoiler alert** A twisty sci-fi adventure about survival, love, loss, growth, and hope. Cara is a traverser, traveling across dimensions to other un**spoiler alert** A twisty sci-fi adventure about survival, love, loss, growth, and hope. Cara is a traverser, traveling across dimensions to other universes that are both extremely like our own and also remarkably different, due to fate or circumstance or the small choices people make that change the course of history. The only reason Cara can do that, though, is because this version of her is a survivor - not only has fate twisted her way to keep her alive into her twenties, she has also found her own path to survival, whether that’s aligning herself with someone who both protects and harms her, or seizing an opportunity when it arises, or following orders when she doesn’t agree with them. But eventually, mere survival isn’t enough. Cara, who has spent the last 6 years learning about her deaths on these hundreds of planets and watching as more and more of herself die, cannot watch more people die when those deaths can be prevented, when she can step in and make a difference. What you can’t predict, though, is how people will react, and sometimes the consequences you think you will bear alone instead fall upon those you love most.
There is so much going on in this book, I feel like I can talk about it for hours. The plot is fairly straightforward: mystery wrapped in mystery wrapped in more mystery, like an onion with a twist and surprise under every layer. Intertwined with the story is the structure of the society, with a clear divide between those in Wiley City (the haves) and those in Ashtown (the have-nots), and it’s really difficult to move between those two worlds, as Cara finds out. Cara’s goal much of the book is to become a citizen of Wiley City so she can stay forever, no matter what happens with her job. To her, Wiley City is place of safety and security, completely different from where she’d grown up in Ashland. But eventually she sees that no where is completely safe for people who look like her and her mentor, Jean, not even the City.
Outside the city walls, things are even more delineated - you have Ashtown, with it’s ruling gang headed by the Emperor, and the House, where sex and other services are bought or bartered for, and outside of Ashtown is the Rurals, the home of the religious community. And then you have the wasteland, where the poorest and least fortune live. Cara is deeply embedded in these worlds, though her connections vary by universe. In one, her mother survived and married the pastor of the Rurals, taking her out of Ashtown; in others, her mother was in and out of the House, on and off drugs, and eventually died, leaving her alone. The House and the workers, like Exlee, become family to Cara, the only place she feels safe. Of course, in one world, that doesn’t stop her from betraying them eventually. In some worlds, she’s with Nik Nik, the Emperor, and in others, she’s with Adra, also the Emperor. She survives. And in most of the worlds, she dies, whether from neglect or violently.
What pulls Cara through, pushed her to do more than just survive, and gives her hope are the relationships she develops, and the real emotions those relationships evoke in her, both good and bad. Esther is the best sister she could have asked for: smart and kind and fierce and resilient. The fact that Esther prayed for Cara and sees her as a miracle makes their relationship even more special. Jean, Cara’s mentor, is the first person who looks at her and says “you can do more than you think,� the first one to build her up and tell her she’s special because of who she is. He’s like a father to her, advising and protecting her every step of the way, until the very end. Her grief at his loss was so shattering and real, and seeing her sit in that and reach out to Exlee for comfort was moving. As for Nik, most of the Niks were not great to be around - they ranged from cruel to indifferent. But 175 Nik truly became a friend to Cara. Maybe it’s because he chose non-violence from an early age, or maybe it’s because he embraced religion in the Rurals, but he was kind and thoughtful.
And then there’s Dell. Like Mr. Darcy, who I just found out she is modeled after (!), she’s fairly stoic and standoffish for most of the book. Dell comes from an extremely privileged background with generational wealth, and despite not needing a job, she seems to enjoy being a handler (for the most part). Though Cara is clearly in love with her, and constantly flirts with her, Dell always pulls back and pushes her away in those moments, drawing a line between them that Cara interprets as class-based prejudice. Of course, Cara doesn’t know the full story, and once everyone is completely honest with one another, all the walls are down and these women can finally be the people they want to be to one another. (view spoiler)[What I don’t understand is how in the world Dell didn’t realize that Caralee was not Caramenta? Sure, she hadn’t know her for that long before the switch, but surely 6 years is enough time for Dell to realize that Caralee was not the homophobe religious fanatic that Caramenta was, and start putting two and two together. Dell loved her enough to not want to work with anyone else, never skipped a day of work or taking a vacation, all so she could see Cara everyday. And that was while thinking Caramenta hated her and was flirting with her to torture her? I can’t imagine putting up with that. But I’ll glad she did because otherwise we wouldn’t be here haha. (hide spoiler)]
Overall, I really enjoyed the action-packed adventure, the twisty mysteries, and the heart-wrenching characters. Cara was truly a person I was rooting for, and although I would have liked her revenge to be a little more pointed at the end, I get why it wasn’t. This story also has a lot of real-world ramifications, from classism and racism to capitalism to segregation to generational and cyclical trauma. It wasn’t always a comfortable book to read, but I always wanted to know what was going to happen next, and I can’t wait to read the sequel.
Also, I met the author at Emerald City Comic Con this year and she was delightful.
“I understand that the multiverse means there are many of you, and some live and some die. But I think, I believe, there is a reason for those who live. Death can be senseless, but life never is.�
“‘Because you are a miracle.� ‘Not a miracle.� I shake the manual. ‘Science.� ‘What do you call science when it answers a prayer?’�
“For years, I’ve been unsure I was capable of anything but ambition. I think back to the days lost crying for Nelline. Feeling guilty for Adra. Feeling hope for Nik Nik. Sometimes you have to bleed to know you’re human. I am afraid, panicked, and ashamed, but I am also grateful. I hadn’t thought all this misery would bring its own gift.�
“The multiverse isn’t just parallel universes accessible through science. They are in each of us, a kaleidoscope of varying perceptions. Dell and I were in different universes this whole time, and I should have known. I thought she was ignoring her attraction to me, but I was torturing her with it.�
“Even worthless things can become valuable once they become rare.�...more
Following my trend of random-thought reviews lol. We read this one for my book club last month.
Likes: Mystery was intriguing, Isaiah’s backstory and reFollowing my trend of random-thought reviews lol. We read this one for my book club last month.
Likes: Mystery was intriguing, Isaiah’s backstory and reasons for helping people is compelling. Enjoyed his perspective and seeing him work through things
Dislikes: Pretty much every other character, especially his “friend� Dodson, who I wished would leave every second. He was gross and rude and full of himself and so condescending to Isaiah.
The descriptions of women and lack of meaningful female characters
Being in the mind of perverted sex offenders and child abusers and killers. That was gross, and nearly turned me off the book in the first chapter.
Toxic Masculinity - both need to feel like the top dog. Constant pissing match.
Hard to track perspective shifts in the audiobook.
Mystery not that intriguing, but back story was really interesting....more
A beautifully lyrical and moving saga of a family continually displaced by war, each generation both loving one another deeply and constantly4.5 stars
A beautifully lyrical and moving saga of a family continually displaced by war, each generation both loving one another deeply and constantly fighting with one another. Their lives are quite cyclical - there’s always another war, and a move to a new city that will hopefully be safer, and the children assume their parents don’t know anything, as children often do. Kids lack the perspective to see that their parents have lived full, rich lives, and were kids once themselves, yelling at their own parents about how wrong they are.
When you are constantly moving, is there any place that you can truly call your home? Perhaps the place you felt most comfortable, or the place you grew up? Manar faces that question when she becomes the first one in her family to return to the home in Palestine that Salma, Alia, and Atef left all those years ago. But even that was not Salma’s original home; as much as she loved that house, it was another rebuild of a life, a home she made into her own by force of will. Souad also has to set up multiple homes over the years, moving to new places to escape war, or a failures marriage, or redecorating to purge yet another war from their lives.
I found the mystical elements of this book fascinating. There were so many dreams and moments of near death, nightmares and mental break, all with truth underlining them. Salma’s reading of the tea leaves for Alia on her wedding day was particularly ill-fated, predicting the difficult, transient life she would end up leading.
I’m glad we got to see from so many different perspectives over the years, to see each family member from different angles as they grew older and changed from child to parent to grandparent. The way each character related to their religion over the years was interesting to follow as well, especially the devotion Riham developed from her grandma’s influence and her near-drowning.
Atef, Alia’s husband, seems to be perhaps the most central figure to this family - he’s the patient one, who both loves and endures Alia, who listens to and protects his children, who finds joy in his grandchildren. He’s the one who seems to spend the most time developing one-on-one relationships with his family. Yet he’s also the one suffering severe PTSD from being captured, imprisoned, and tortured by the Israeli army. He’s the one dealing with intense guilt and shame for not only being the one who survived, but also for being the reason Mustafa stayed and was eventually killed. His journal-like letters to his dead best friend and brother-in-law not only serve as therapy for him, but help connect his grandkids to their family’s past, help them understand a little of what they have gone through.
This is not an easy book to read at times. War carries with it much violence - cruelty and rape and torture and humiliation and more. The author doesn’t shy away from the realities of what has happened in Palestine and other middle east nations of the last century, of what is still happening in Palestine this day. It is an important one, though, because it shows the beauty of the people, of the culture, of the family. It shows what needs to be protected, and what endures....more
A fantastical tale of magia, pirates, devils, and demons, of deals struck and families lost and love found. After the loss of their family an4.5 stars
A fantastical tale of magia, pirates, devils, and demons, of deals struck and families lost and love found. After the loss of their family and crew, Mar is saved from the sea by Bas, the annoyingly attractive and charming son of a pirate captain. Well actually, Tito did the saving, as he likes to point out, but Bas is the one who spotted Mar, and likes to take credit for things.
Mar is in a really bad place, dealing with the grief of losing their family and home and the challenge of learning how to live without them and how to keep her dangerous magia hidden from her new crew. And there’s also Dami, the confusingly alluring demonio who keeps randomly popping up and trying to get Mar to make a deal with them. As circumstances arise that require Mar to use their magia, the very real reasons they have always kept their magia locked down come to light. Mar’s fear of what could happen if they loses control is understandable, but eventually they have to make a choice: what do you have to lose when you’ve already lost so much and everything else you hold dear is threatened?
(view spoiler)[I enjoyed getting to know Mar, Bas, and Dami and their different personalities. Mar, I just wanted to give a big hug to. They had experienced much love, of course, but they’d also experienced much hate and fear. I know Mar’s papà was having them do the right thing by hiding their magia from strangers, and did his best to remind them at all times that their magia was a gift, but it didn’t seem the lessen the sting of self-hatred that burrowed into Mar’s heart. More than anything else, the thing that made Mar finally realize they weren’t a monster was seizing control out of how they used their power. They chose to run into those burning buildings and save that baby, even while knowing how people would react to their magia when they emerged. But then, the people surprised them. They looked at them with wonder and joy and hope, and they finally realized their magia could do nuts as much good as bad, it was all in how they used it. Finally letting go of the tight grip they had on their magia allowed the two sides of their power to come into balance, and unlocked a new level of abilities that eventually enabled her to face her fears and el Diablo. (hide spoiler)]...more
**spoiler alert** A story of family, finding your place in the world, building a life you can be proud of, standing up for what you believe. I enjoyed**spoiler alert** A story of family, finding your place in the world, building a life you can be proud of, standing up for what you believe. I enjoyed following this story from the multiple perspectives of the five members of the Tran family. None of them is perfect, but they are doing their best to follow their instincts, even if that leads them to do unimaginable things to protect what they love and value most. While that might seem like the salon, in actuality, it’s their family and the life they’ve fought to build, against all odds.
I felt so bad for Jessica - it’s hard to reset your life when it turns out so differently than you expected. Not only was she cheated on, she was taken advantage of financially and emotionally and humiliated. And then, to return to her parental home where she can tell people are judging her and won’t stop asking about her ex - what a nightmare. In the end, though, I think she ended up happy and fulfilled in a way that connected her to her family but also let her build something that was completely her own. Also, I kind of thought they were going to build a romance between her and Hasim, the protest organizer, but I’m glad they didn’t.
As for her brother, Dustin, he was able to break free of his stagnant life, too. Part of it was due to finally being happy in his romantic life, but it was also going to the realization that his a-hole boss was never going to give him the respect (and pay) he deserved, and he owed himself more than sticking with a job he hates for a company he hates with a boss he hates. Honestly, I didn’t get why Mackenzie seemed so instantly into him with so few personal interactions, but I suppose she saw something in him that she connected with. And maybe it was just instant attraction.
Phil and Debbie’s perspectives were fascinating because they clearly loved one another despite being exasperated with one another at times. Phil is not perfect - he has his DUI, and he gambles away their money trying to earn the rest they need, and he borrows a ton of money from a sketchy old friend who's basically a loan shark. Yet somehow, he’s shocked at the length’s Debbie will go to to save their salon and family? What’s a little stalking, blackmail, and theft when compared to his crimes? I was glad when he realized that this is what Debbie has felt every time he messes up and yet she somehow loves him anyways.
Of course, Debbie’s kindness is what saves them in the end. Văn gifts them the money they need to get them out of debt, not because Jessica is willing to green-card marry his nephew, but because Debbie is the only person who was kind to him through his darkest times, who kept inviting him to events, helped him attend AA meetings, etc. A little bit of kindness goes a long way.
As for Thuy, ooooo, I was so mad at her at first when she went behind their backs to work at Take Ten! Does she have no loyalty? What a betrayal! But on the other hand, I understand her reasoning. Phil cutting their pay was not a fair solution to save money, especially when they weren’t making a ton already. And she wasn’t wrong, wanting to earn more so she could actually improve the lives of her family back home. Also, she deserves to make friends outside of their family circle, friends of her own. I loved her thoughtfulness in noticing the Buddha statue was missing from the shop and buying a new one to replace it. Clearly, that was the exact apology Debbie needed to forgive Thuy.
And then there’s Savannah. What a horrible woman. Honestly, I didn’t care that Debbie blackmailed her and stole her diamond ring. Karma is cruel and unforgiving. She tried to sabotage Sunshine Nails in any way she could, was racist, classist, and condescending, and was cheating on her husband. Although Jessica retrieving and returning her ring was the right thing to do, her smugness made me want to punch her. I love that Debbie had already printed a copy of the photo and sent it to her husband. It’s the least he deserves....more
**spoiler alert** A sad tale of the hysterical, religious prosecution of an old woman whose only crime was being different than everyone around her, o**spoiler alert** A sad tale of the hysterical, religious prosecution of an old woman whose only crime was being different than everyone around her, of trying to help people when she could, of daring to have more than others around her, and of not suffering fools. Katharina was right to laugh off the first accusations against her, because they were absolutely ridiculous. But gossip and rumor snowball, especially when there might be financial or political gain, and people become easily convinced that something that was just bad luck was, in fact, a punishment inflicted on them. If you have someone to blame for your troubles, it can’t be your fault, right? And, of course, this is set at a time when there was much less knowledge of disease transition and medical treatment. It makes much more sense to blame a witch when you don’t know what germs or viruses are.
Despite how well this was written and the obvious research that went into it, I can’t say I enjoyed reading this book. I grew to really like Katharina, with her love for her children and her grandchildren that kept dying, and her devotion to her cow and her garden. It made me so sad that she was being unjustly targeted, and that so few people took her side. Even her friend and neighbor Simon eventually stepped back to save his family’s reputation. I don’t blame her for not crying at her trial; as she said, "I have cried so many tears in my life, sir, that there are none left." Though I am glad she was acquitted, it didn’t seem to matter much in the end: she died six months later, and almost everyone she loved died early deaths as well.
It’s a fascinating story, and has its funny moments, as Katharina doesn’t shy away from speaking her mind, both overall it has made me quite sad. I’m also grateful that we live in a time with less infant mortality, fewer plagues, and less witch hunts. That’s not to say their modern equivalents don’t exist, especially for BIPOC people and those from marginalized communities, but such widespread death and destruction is perhaps more rare. ...more
This is really two books in one. The first half is a story of friendship, chosen family, and the reckless fun of youth. The second half, while still fThis is really two books in one. The first half is a story of friendship, chosen family, and the reckless fun of youth. The second half, while still focusing on friendship, is much more complicated and sad. Death of a parent, cancer, and assisted suicide are tough topics to read about, and I can’t say I enjoyed where this book went, but all the discussions were thoughtful and respectful. ...more
A story of life and death, growing old, falling in love, but also learning to love yourself. I had a “Just for the record, happiness is not bullshit.�
A story of life and death, growing old, falling in love, but also learning to love yourself. I had a hard time with Arthur at the beginning of this book - he was such a sad sack, so down on himself, and it didn’t make sense why when it seemed like his life hadn’t been that terrible. I think, though, that Arthur’s journey of self-realization and love mirrors that of his novel’s character, Swift. What he needed was some perspective, some levity, some joy, and to stop taking himself and everything else so seriously and miserably. When we started to see and hear glimpses about how others felt around him and saw him is when I finally started to understand and like Arthur more.
Like most things in life, when he got to Italy, he got better. In Italy, we saw Arthur being appreciated by those around him instead of ignored and overlooked, and in Germany, we saw how people loved his strange and straightforward way of writing and feeling. In France, we finally found out that the problem with his books wasn’t the writing, but how depressing and hopeless it was (interesting that American audiences didn’t like that but European audiences ate it up). In Morocco, Arthur finally turned 50, and learned that perhaps perfect relationships don’t exist at all, and they all require work and dedication. In India, he finally was forced to slow down and work through his novel draft, and in a way, on himself.
I’m still not sure I understand why this book had to be written in the third person. Maybe because Arthur so misunderstood and disliked himself that we needed to see him from the outside? But even that outside perspective wasn’t unbiased: eventually I realized (right before it was made explicit clear) that this story was being told by Freddy, who had been and still was in love with him. Freddy, who knew all to well what Arthur’s touch and attention did to a person, and who related to his life experiences, as the younger lover of an older man, in ways other people couldn’t. (Practically, though, how could Freddy have known everything that Arthur was doing and how everyone else felt about him? I still don’t understand. Is it something I shouldn’t try to understand?)
The other part I didn’t understand was all the people getting sick, both in Germany and Morocco. It seems too much of a coincidence that Arthur not be connected, but how? How is it possible? Also what was up with Carlos? From Arthur’s memories of their youth and how many times he said Freddy and Arthur weren’t right for each other, I thought maybe HE was in love with Arthur all this time, but I guess not? I guess it was just envy, as he mentions on the beach in India. Carlos� arrogance at thinking he should collecting other people’s letters and publish them was so wild to me. Why would Arthur give up his personal love letters and paintings and memories to be a part of what would be “The Carlos Collection�? Doesn’t make any sense.
Despite my confusion and the things that don’t make sense to me, I wanted Arthur to be happy, and I wanted him to admit to Freddy that he loved him, and that the time they spent together was important and valuable and he didn’t want it to end. I wanted him to finish his new novel, full of hope, and finally be included and celebrated in his community at home. I want his life to be full until the end, because 50 is just a number, and he has a lot more life to live. As do we all....more
A deeply introspective and honest memoir from a man who has spent his life and career attempting to tell his truth and show the world as he sees it thA deeply introspective and honest memoir from a man who has spent his life and career attempting to tell his truth and show the world as he sees it through his songs and actions. I appreciate how open Bruce was about his difficult childhood, his battles with depression and psychosis, and his faults of character. I’m sure there are some of his acquaintances who might object to the way he glosses over some of his foibles (notable his infidelity and affair, as well as how he fired the E Street Band in the 90s when he wanted to try a different sound), but I appreciate that he doesn’t ignore them or try to excuse them.
I was not familiar with most of Springsteen’s music, nor am I a serious student of music, so I found the sections where he talked about how he formed his sound, band, songs, and albums really interesting. I tried my best to pop over to Spotify and listen to whatever song it album he was writing about, though I’m sure I missed some, and I didn’t try to listen to all the live albums and greatest hits. Listening to a songs immediately after he discussed how and why he wrote it made it mean a lot more, and I listened to the lyrics much more than I normally do when I listen to music. I think my favorite album is Born to Run, though I don’t particularly like the title track.
My major complaint with the book is it was too long. I think there was perhaps too much detail at times, and stories shared that didn’t feel relevant to his life’s narrative as a whole. Also, while I appreciate that he read his audiobook himself, he was suuuuch a slow talker. 500 pages should not translate to 18 hours. I ended up listening to it at 1.65x speed, and then up to 2x speed at the end, and could comfortably understand him. Maybe he needed a tougher editor? Though I could see him rejecting any attempts to edit or shorten his work, given how stubborn he could be about his music. All in all, I’m glad I read this one, and works especially recommend it to music fans. “Art often works in mysterious ways. What makes something great may also be one of its weaknesses, just like in people.�
“As we age, the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier, much heavier. Which each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher."...more
**spoiler alert** I loved this romance, perhaps because Dora’s awakening to her own feelings is so real and emotional, perhaps because Elias� finally **spoiler alert** I loved this romance, perhaps because Dora’s awakening to her own feelings is so real and emotional, perhaps because Elias� finally had someone to share his pain and soothe his soul, perhaps because their unconventional and refreshingly honest way of communicating made my heart fill with joy. As a child, half of Dora’s soul was stolen by an evil fairy, leaving her without the emotional expressiveness drilled into English ladies and with a surplus of bluntness and honesty that is considered unbecoming.
For his part, Elias, Lord Selcier, was also stolen by fairies, or perhaps has fairy blood himself? Once he escaped the cruelty of faerie, he assumed mankind would be much more compassionate and kind. It’s no surprise, then, that Elias� anger and heartbreak are heightened by his disillusionment - humans can be just as cruel, and knowingly so, without remorse. If not for his friend Albert and the Carraways, and eventually Dora, Elias would probably have drowned in his rage and misery, full of self-hatred that he couldn’t do more to help those in need.
Although my favorite part of this story is seeing Dora slowly open up and start to recognize the feelings that she’s kept bottled up inside for years, and watching her relationship with Elias turn from funny banter to loving and compassionate support, I also appreciated how our own society is reflected by this Victorian age. The frustrations Elias and others have with an uncaring government body and a community of rich people who aren’t willing to do more echo into our own time, and many of those issues remain. In the same way, it’s heartening to see those people who do care never give up, and do everything they can to try to effect change, both in big ways through government work and in small ways through community support and aid. It might feel like we as individuals are too small to effect change in a meaningful way, but action doesn’t have to be big to be important. Each life changed is important.
As for the magic, it was fascinating to see pieces of it at work, from Elias’s scrying mirrors to the floating star lights at the ball. I wish we knew more about how everything works in this world magically, and how Faerie is connected, both physically and magically, but I’m assuming we’ll get more info trickled to us as the series continues. For now, I’m content to know as much as Dora does.
I also want briefly to mention Vanessa. I appreciate so much how Vanessa deeply loves and protects her cousin, Dora. At first, I was annoyed that Vanessa ended up married to a man she didn’t even know that well, and that she was seemingly unmoved by the plight of those in poverty until she saw it for herself, but I think I appreciate more that she wasn’t a perfect paragon whom everything magically works out for. It was helpful for Dora to see flaws in Vanessa, and both help her through them and love her despite their differences. In many ways, Dora reads as neurodivergent, and seeing her come to love herself for who she is instead of internalizing all the things she seems to lack is really empowering. Vanessa has many lovely qualities, but that doesn’t make her a better person or wife than Dora, despite what her mother or society might think. I also really loved that Elias didn’t care that Dora wasn’t magically fixed into a “whole person� because he fell in love with her as is, not for what she could be.
The only line I’m not happy about is the epilogue, when they return to Faerie eventually to reunite Dora’s soul and live there, but I’m choosing to believe that’s waaaaaaaay in the future, and only so they can become immortal and keep helping those in need.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"It may be true that you only have half a soul, Dora... But that does not make you half a person."
"Listen here, Miss Ettings! I am in love with you. You deserve to hear that. I love your wit and cleverness. I love that you are kind but almost never nice. I love your eyes and your hair and your freckles, and the fact that you smell like some monstrous floral perfume all the time. ...And I love to dance with you. That is the worst of it by far."
"I am sure that your other half is very lovely. But I fell in love with you exactly as you are. And perhaps that is for the best - if you were suddenly twice as charming, then I should be utterly overwhelmed."
"Humans do not grasp the matter for some reason - but it is quite normal to feel many contradictory things at once. Emotions need not make sense, Albert. They are there so that we might make sense of them."
"I have often found myself in despair at how nonsensically awful other human beings can be. As much as we like to believe that we are capable of learning from history, I'm afraid that we are very prone to repeating the exact same mistakes as a society, time and time again. But every time I am confronted by some inescapable proof of the lowness of human nature, I am also reminded that I have within me the power to improve my own nature." - author's note...more
**spoiler alert** A fantastical tale of an outsider surviving and eventually thriving on her own terms in a darkly magical version of Old Hollywood. I**spoiler alert** A fantastical tale of an outsider surviving and eventually thriving on her own terms in a darkly magical version of Old Hollywood. I’ll be honest that I’m still not sure exactly how the magic works in this world - what makes some people into stars and some fade away? Is it fate or self-determination that assists with Luli’s eventual ascension? Maybe we're not supposed to know. But even if I didn’t understand what demons lurked in the dark, waiting for a chance to tear her down, I could feel Luli’s fear and her stubbornness and her passion. She stole her sister’s name, but she was unapologetically herself, both on set in front of the camera, fully confident in her talent, and in the shadows with the people she loved.
I don’t feel like I can fully comment on the struggles Luli felt finding her place as a Chinese-American in an era when those who looked different found themselves so often pigeonholed and othered. While her early resistance to anything that might seem Chinese helped set her apart at the studio, she became more honest herself when she allowed herself to embrace her heritage. It was interesting, too, that Emmaline seemed to think Luli’s otherness protected her in some way from being ruined were her sexual orientation ever to become known. And maybe that’s true - or maybe it’s just that, once you become a star, you can be accepted no matter how you look or act. Or maybe Luli helped perceptions change by being who she was, in front of the world.
NOTES ON A SECOND READING: My book club read this recently and I was happy to read it again.
Beautiful and heartbreaking and majestic and hopeful. The casual mysticism is intriguing, referencing beliefs and magics without fully explaining them, but in ways that make sense. Becoming a star is more than just become famous. It’s somehow exposing your true self in a way that shines so bright it can’t be ignored. It is a burning, glorious light that propels you into the stratosphere, letting your memory and legacy carry you long into the future. You can’t predict or guarantee it, or deny it when it happens. ...more
An honest and well-researched account of the growth of LA, the immigrant communities that sprang up through the first half of the 20th century, the coAn honest and well-researched account of the growth of LA, the immigrant communities that sprang up through the first half of the 20th century, the complicated history of public housing, and the making of LA into a baseball town when the Dodgers moved in. These might all seem like wildly different topics, but they are all drawn together by a single location, one that was a home and a community before it was appropriated by the city for public use, and then eventually traded away for capitalistic gains and in order to bring baseball to LA.
I love baseball, and I’m glad it made its way to the west coast (even though east coast bias is still a thing, decades later), but there’s something inherently, morally wrong in the way these communities were broken up and stripped of their homes. It makes no sense, but Nusbaum does his best to explain everything in detail. I appreciate his transparency in including all of his research notes, so we know and can verify where every story and fact comes from. If there’s one drawback to this book, it’s that it doesn’t flow easily. There’s a lot of parts to this story, and it covers a large span of time as well. Nusbaum does his best to organize everything in a way that makes sense, but there’s a lot of jumping back and forth, and I often had trouble keeping people straight and remembering the timeline of events. Overall, though, this was a fascinating read....more
**spoiler alert** “For the first time in my life, I think I understand what a true friend is. It isn’t just someone who likes you. It’s someone willin**spoiler alert** “For the first time in my life, I think I understand what a true friend is. It isn’t just someone who likes you. It’s someone willing to take action on your behalf.�
“The longer you live, the more you learn. People are a mystery that can never be solved. Life has a way of sorting itself out. Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.�
On the surface, this book is a mystery: who killed the rich, white man who had a lot of enemies? Underneath that mystery, though, is the story of a woman who has felt lonely and set apart her whole life, unable to interpret what people mean and isolated by the different way she saw the world. The thing I love most about this book is that Molly finds people who trust and believe her, that treat her with respect, and whom she can rely on always to have her best interest at heart. She finds a family, one whom she chooses and who chooses her and loves her for who she is.
I spent so much of this book deeply uncomfortable because I could see that Molly was trusting the wrong people (Rodney ...more
A heartbreaking yet hopeful story of a boy coming to terms with who he is as a person and a friend and a brother, and dealing with the traumas he has A heartbreaking yet hopeful story of a boy coming to terms with who he is as a person and a friend and a brother, and dealing with the traumas he has lived through, both his own and as he supports his loved ones, for better or worse. Charlie and his friends have gone through so much in their short lives, I really felt for them, especially as each new trauma was revealed or experienced. From his best friend’s suicide to his sister’s abortion, from Sam’s rape to Patrick’s heartbreak and subsequent meltdown, every new reveal was like a punch to the gut.
And throughout everything, we’re experiencing Charlie’s innermost thoughts, as honest as he can make them as he writes to a mysterious, understanding stranger. And those thoughts are pretty scary and dark sometimes. We know Charlie has been dealing with a lot of mental and emotional issues ever since his aunt died when he was a kid, but I was shocked when it turned out it was because he was being molested. Families and love are complicated things, and you can love and hate and fear someone all at the same time. I’m glad Charlie finally got the help he needed, but I’m sad it took a full-on mental break for him to get there.
All in all, this book really captured the essence of growing up, dealing with real problems while trying simultaneously to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. These are the deep, existential thoughts of being a teenager, specifically one that has been so sidelined by trauma that he has spent his life living in his own head, watching from the sidelines. Suddenly, he’s pulled into the deep end and has to learn to swim.
I have had a copy of this book since I was a teenager, and I really wonder what my reaction to it would have been if I had read it back then. Would I have been able to relate when the experiences of Charlie and his friends were so different from my own teenage life? Can I appreciate it more now as an adult because I can recognize the essential truths?
I can see how someone picked this for their desert island book - it truly makes you think about life and how you are engaging with others, and I think multiple rereads would give you even more things to think about.
Other thoughts:
Extended families: “Everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.� And the fights are always the same.
Is it better to let your kids be happy and be close to them or to make sure they have a better life than you?
“I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons, and maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things, and we can try to feel ok about them.�...more
Another witchy love story set in the world of Thistle Grove. This one actually felt less like a love story than the others in the series, and was moreAnother witchy love story set in the world of Thistle Grove. This one actually felt less like a love story than the others in the series, and was more about Nina crawling her way out from under her childhood traumas, toxic family, and broken romantic relationships to become the person she always wanted to be: Strong, fair, thoughtful, and kind. She’s trying to acknowledge the things she’s done wrong and work to atone for them as best as she can. I'm not sure she truly does in the end, but it might take more books in the series to see how that really plays out.
I loved seeing Nina and Morty’s connection develop, but the reason I say it’s not as much of a love story is because of the nature of their magical bond. There wasn’t really any will-they-or-won’t-they push and pull going on - they could each feel what the other was feeling, too, and so there was never any miscommunication or pointless fights. Pretty much the only tension came when Nina had to take a step back to decide if she was ready to break free from her mother and grandmother to be the person she wanted and needed to be, and even then Morty very clearly told her where his boundaries were and what he needed from her if they were going to continue a relationship.
I enjoyed getting to know Morty more in this book after being introduced to him in the first few, but I wish we had gotten more from his perspective. His family seemed to mostly be there as a contrast to Nina’s - loving and supportive, whereas hers was controlling and unpredictable. It was a little sad to see the ways he softened his gender expression to make it easier on his mom, but it seemed like a sacrifice that didn’t cause him much pain, and one he was willing to make because of the otherwise positive aspects of their relationship. I’m impressed with his family’s wary acceptance of Nina so quickly, and that speaks to their trust in Morty’s judgment.
Also, Nina’s bestie Jessa is the best and I’m so glad that Nina has such a great friend in her life and that Morty suggested Nina ask for an exemption from the oblivion rule for her. I agree that romance shouldn’t be the sole decider on who gets to know how the magic community - deep, long-term friendship is just as important as a romantic relationship. It wasn’t fair to either Jessa or Nina that they weren’t able to share this knowledge. Jessa moved to Thistle Grove to be near Nina, for goodness' sake. I’m pretty sure she’s committed to their friendship for life (and even if she’s not, apparently, you can wipe those memories later if necessary). I wish we had gotten to see more of Jessa and her relationship with Nina throughout the book - other than the beginning and the very end, she seemed absent, and considering how close her relationship with Nina was, I would have thought we'd see her more.
Speaking of people who eventually had their memory wiped, I do wonder about what it was about Nina’s ex-fiancé that drew her in and why she even dated her in the first place when she sounds so terrible. Was it because Nina didn’t think she deserved any better? And did it take so long for Nina to get over her because she was so broken-hearted and devastated or was it disappointed, loneliness, and fear? It seems like Nina kept a lot of stuff bottled up inside, and maybe the end of her relationship got mixed up with all that family fear and shame.
I’m not sure why people are so surprised to hear there’s a goddess at the bottom of Lady’s Lake - where did the name come from if not the Lady?? And it’s power had to come from somewhere! I’m still curious about how Nina’s connection to the goddess relates to who she is as a person versus who her family is. The ability to teleport definitely feels related to the lake’s divinity, and the Blackmores specifically are the only family who can really do that spell (with varying degrees of success). It’s possible Nina’s family made her susceptible to the goddess’s power, but then parts of her essential nature and also her emotional state due to her upbringing brought her even closer. Releasing that much power had to have been incredibly difficult, but the goddess seemed to understand, and even intended for Nina to only hold it for a short time, enough to bring happiness, love, and peace into her life.
I have to also mention the "incident" at the bookstore with Emmy’s cousin Delilah. Clearly, Nina did something extremely harmful and repulsive - you can tell that both by the extremity of her reaction, that of Morty and Emmy, and how harsh the punishment for such action generally is. It’s easy for me to forgive Nina and give her extra sympathy and understanding in that situation because I know how much she regrets it, and I tend to overly sympathize with narrators. Just because I know she felt cornered by Delilah potentially outing her doesn't make it fair to give her the benefit of the doubt. My book had a sneak peek of the 4th book, which features Delilah as the heroine who is still dealing with oblivion tremors six months later, as well as PTSD and a lot of anger and hatred towards Nina. It’ll be interesting to see if my opinion of Nina changes if I live in Delilah’s head for a while.
I briefly want to mention Nina’s brother Gareth, also. I truly do believe people can change, and seeing Nina’s perspective on the pressures they grew up under does make me see him a little differently than in the first book. Now that he’s going to have more responsibility and opportunities to prove how he’s changed, I’m wondering if he is going to redeem himself enough to actually get back together with Linden? I believe I said after the first book that I would hate that, but if he can prove he’s changed and that he truly loves her, maaaaaybe I’d be okay with that. Right now, I'm thinking no, though.
Quick note, this definitely is a spicy romance, despite what I said about the romance not being the main point of this book. It’s interesting to read about Nina and Morty’s interactions, though, because their experiences are amplified and echoed by their connection. ...more
**spoiler alert** I read this for my book club and honestly, it was a really great discussion because we all read things so differently based on our e**spoiler alert** I read this for my book club and honestly, it was a really great discussion because we all read things so differently based on our experiences and perspectives. I really enjoyed hearing from friends who have MFA program experience and saw thing more as an allegory, and also from friends who saw it more as a psychological thriller. I’m not going to change the following review that I wrote before we met because it’s the closest we’ll get to what I was independently thinking immediately after finishing, which was seeing the story as a very literal narrative with some fantasy elements, but I’m definitely thinking about giving this a re-read so I can pay closer attention to some of the characters and how they relate to others throughout the book.
I’m honestly still not sure what exactly happened in this book, what was imagined and what was real. Part of Samantha’s unique gift seems to be her active and all-consuming imagination, which has apparently been with her since she was a child, of her memories of her mother are accurate. Is that why she was able to imagine more fully-formed people while the Bunnies struggled with their drafts and projects?
So much of this book is centered around Samantha’s loneliness - her strained relationship with her advisor, the Lion, her obsession/hatred of the Bunnies for excluding her (even though it doesn’t seem like they did that intentionally at first), and of course, Ava and Max’s entire existences. Despite her loneliness, it almost seems like Ava takes pride in her outsider status, with Ava as her only friend.
I knew something was up with Ava from the start, based on how she disappeared and reappeared in Samantha’s life, but I was thinking she was more likely an imaginary friend of some sort, until the Bunnies could see her, too. I wonder when they realized that Ava was actually a transformed animal like their bunny boys were. Was that why they recruited her, because they realized she was so much more talented at creating things?
Also, is it some sort of magic in Warren itself or the town that even allows something like these creatures to be created? Based on the way Ursula talked about the crazy things that usually happen during thesis time, I’m guessing there’s always some sort of weird stuff going on. But obviously Samantha didn’t realize she had created the person friend and companion for herself until it was too late. And how/why was Max created? Was it because she was trying to create someone she thought she wanted, but in reality, she recreated herself, or the person she wished she could be, deep in her soul?
It’s hard to say if we ever really got to know the bunnies for real. It seems like Warren has something to do with their mind meld, if you look at the poetry bros as another example - Jonah seemed to be exempt from that because his brain has already been fried by all the drinking and drugs. So does the magic, whatever it is, change who these people are to make them more alike? Or does it emphasize their core personalities and make them work better with one another. They all seemed to have a role in the bunnification process that they were better at. Were they ever sincere with Samantha or were they using her from the start?
I’m still not sure exactly how Max was motivated. It doesn’t seem like the creations are self-aware until they are directly confronted and questioned - you see the poorly made bunny-boys start exploding in those times. But if not confronted, they seem to be able to live as mostly human - we see bunny boys that were released into the wild return to town and get jobs as cooks, waiters, etc. And it doesn’t seem like Ava ever knew she was a creation. But did she live in Samantha’s mind partially as well, and see what she sees? Or can she self-create what she wants around herself? Apparently Samantha had been living in an abandoned house that whole time she was with Ava, but they thought it was well-furnished and comfortable. Where did Ava get her money if she knew she wasn’t working for it?
Back to Max, he seemed to be there to live out the fantasies of Samantha’s heart. He moved in and fell in love with Ava, he seduced and tricked each of the Bunnies into becoming obsessed with him and abandoning one another, he eventually sacrificed himself so that they could be taken down (though honestly, I kind of thought Samantha would just go ahead and axe murder them - they kind of deserved it at that point). It didn’t really make sense for him to stay anyways - Samantha was drawn to him but that’s because he was a part of her. Without Ava, nothing held them together anymore.
I’m also not sure what is going with the professors and their “The Body of Work� and “dig deeper in the muck� and what exactly they know about what goes on at Warren. What really happened with the Lion? Was it an exaggeration in Samantha’s mind? And Ursula was also strange, with her strange critiques of their equally strange work. Honestly, the most rational people in this book are Jonah, who just wants to hang out with Samantha and write long-format epic poems about Alaska, and the bored, long-suffering janitor who found Samantha tied up with ribbons and mouth stuffed with feathers and had this great advice to offer: “You kids and your conceptual art� The real world, lady. It's out there. Do you even know that? You're going to have to get back to it sometime.�
The moral of this story (to me) is this: have an imagination, but don’t use that to hide from the world. Engage with others, be willing to grow, and don’t be afraid to tell people how you’re truly feeling and if you need help. Also, don’t mess around with magic you don’t fully understand.
Editing to add I’m not sure that’s actually the moral of this story anymore, lol. But it’s one perspective for sure, haha. I definitely recommend this book as it’s a mind bender, and I’m sure you’ll get other things out of it than I did. Is Jonah real or mud? Is this Lovecraftian world that’s slightly different from our own or is everything happening in Sam’s mind? Are the bunnies a symbol of performative feminism? Was Alan, aka the Lion, attempting to groom Sam before he was caught and pushed her away? Did the Bunnies recognize Ava as a creation the first time they saw her and is that why the started recruiting Sam to their group? Is this a takedown of the MFA system as a whole? Some of the many things we discussed....more
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