**spoiler alert** Dull, dull, dull. Clearly, the movie and the book for which the film was named are two completely different animals. Imagine my disa**spoiler alert** Dull, dull, dull. Clearly, the movie and the book for which the film was named are two completely different animals. Imagine my disappointment. One such critter, the book itself, is your basic domesticated dairy cow-like creature of excitement: plodding, staid, cud-chewingly BORING! The movie, on the other hand, is a predatory beast, hairy, exhilarating and, at times, frightening.
But, about the book: dull cliche characters, predictable cliche storyline, frustratingly moronic plot-twist-cum-cliffhanger at the end (turns out, the whole premise has been all about a spy hunt for....well, read the book, if you care enough to find out who they're trying to catch).
Okay, okay! You've convinced me! I'll spill! Please don't put that black bag over my head and shove me into an awaiting utility van again! It's yet another tired story about the hunt for Carlos the Jackal. Sheesh! There! I said it! Imagine my disappointment upon learning it! Gad, haven't we seen enough of these Jackal hunt stories already? If I had known this beforehand, I would have donated this book to the local public library without bothering to open it.
The action is cartoonish, the plot flows like molasses in January, and the characters seem more than a bit cliched and very two-dimensional, all of which is set in a lot of farfetched bits of plot "development" as the story plods along, lowing as it vacantly chews its cud while dropping cow pies everywhere it goes. Really? An expert and respected economist from Canada is going to take up with an unpredictable and dangerous rogue amnesiac assassin living on the edge of sanity and who is on the run for his life, but only after only a few minutes of contact with him? Gosh, she must really, really, really, REALLY hate her life, for her to drop a well-paying, secure government job with a good retirement at the first sign of dangerous alpha-male virility! UGH! I finished the book only because I am stubborn and I sometimes like to challenge myself to do things I hate. This was one of those times, folks!
Anyway, I'll pass on the sequels, thanks, if they're anything like the first installment. I don't believe anyone can convince me otherwise. I'm more than a little sure this is one of those times where the movie is far, far better than the original source material, sequels included. The cows won't be coming home for me on this one....more
I found a copy of this book a long time ago in a desk drawer during an all-night phone security watch in 1985 or 86, while I was in the Navy. I was inI found a copy of this book a long time ago in a desk drawer during an all-night phone security watch in 1985 or 86, while I was in the Navy. I was in my mid-20s at that time and I knew it was going to be a long, boring night, until I discovered "Night Mare" by Piers Anthony. I consumed the whole book in a couple of days and I remembered liking it enough to want to read the rest of the series. I eventually read the series up to "Man From Mundania" or "Isle of View", or perhaps one of the others shortly after that. I don't remember which, but I lost track of the Xanth series several years after getting out of the Nav. This time frame was in the early 1990s and I was starting to do more "adult" stuff. I put them in a box and stowed them away for some reason, not thinking much about them for many years (imagine my surprise to discover Piers Anthony was still writing this series well into the 2010s! He's got to be, what, at least a hundred and forty-two by now, right?)
Fast forward to 2021 and I rediscovered these books again after my oldest boy, who is now in his mid-20s, had discovered them himself and began reading them. I figured, what the hell, I remembered enjoying them all those years ago, but I couldn't remember the plot lines, so I took them in hand and started reading them again.
Take "Night Mare," for example. I remember absolutely LOVING this book way back in the dim 1980s. I could remember only bits of the story by the time I read it a second time in 2021 and I must say, given my more advanced age and greater world experience, I have to admit I have no idea why I thought I fell in love with the book back in the late 80s. I was stuck in a rut of Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle predictable cliff-hanger endings during that time, and I guess I needed a change, so I jumped on the Xanth bandwagon after reading about Mare Imbrium and her misadventures with the dreaded Horseman. Unfortunately, rereading this book kind of ruined that fond memory of it for me. As Mr. B.B. King once so eloquently sang as he lovingly stroked Lucille, "The thrill is gone."
The protagonist in "Night Mare" is rather short-sighted and more than a little naive than should be expected, given her long experience with delivering horrible bad dreams to deserving people. She's seen some things, man! Any idiot with uncorrected 20/60 vision, or worse, could have seen from a mile off who the bad guy was in this story and how he was able to get into her good graces! Yes, she is a horse, but she should not have been a thick-headed mule who loses her good horse sense in the presence of a pretty face and tail! She's an immortal magical horse that has been around since Good Magician Humphrey was a twinkle in his daddy's eye, for crying out loud!
Road apples!!
The character of the antagonist, the Horseman, is never fully developed or explained. Is he an actual Mundane warrior who somehow figured out how to perform magic in Xanth, or is he a resident of Xanth who somehow found himself in Mundania and decided to tag along with Mundane warriors at war against a powerful empire in Mundania? How was it he ended up with the very group of mundane soldiers who happened to stumble into Xanth from their mundane peninsula? What's his name, even? Did he actually spend any time in Mundania at all or did he decide to "enlist" once the Mundanes were inside Xanth? Where did he get the magical object that helped him do what he did? I DON'T KNOW! IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED!
Plot holes? What plot holes? There are a lot of cheap shortcuts in the story which left me feeling more than a little disappointed, once I delved back into the book. It's like driving along on a brand new freeway, windows down and going 95 in the 65, with "Radar Love" blasting on the radio, and then you have to exit because the bridges for the overpasses aren't yet in place! (Heavy sigh)
Anyway, I finished it and then sadly stowed it away, probably never to read it again, being disillusioned after facing the hard reality of shoddy character development, massive plot holes, and low-watt protagonists unable to see beyond the ends of their lovely velvety equine noses.
Neigh, I say, neigh to "Night Mare." I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put you down, Dobbin....more
Meh! I was surprised that many of the characters in this book had not been eaten by bears by page 52. Their survival instincts were woefully lacking, Meh! I was surprised that many of the characters in this book had not been eaten by bears by page 52. Their survival instincts were woefully lacking, which is remarkable, considering the alleged chaotic and dangerously anarchic state of the world envisioned in this story. Fortunately for them, and unfortunately for me, the bears in this story, like an exciting and gripping plot, were noticeably lacking. Our protagonists, Cal and Frida, take off northward on foot, to escape a "dangerous" life in the city, and with totally unbelievable luck, boringly make it out of town and into the redwoods without finding themselves leaking vital fluids out onto the pavement and all their belongings in the hands of roving feral bandits along the way. In fact, they faced no more "danger" on their trek than the risk of getting blisters on their feet, which seemed more than just a little bit unrealistic in this alleged modern version of the Fall of the Roman Empire and the return of the Dark Ages. Once out in the "wilderness," Cal and Frida settle down to making the little homestead they discover, and the surrounding area, for that matter, into an off-the-grid open-air bedroom. Rather than actually preparing themselves to face the worst that such a "dangerous" world might throw at them, they seem rather to prefer spending more time bumping uglies together, and then bickering and doubting themselves, and each other, when they are not coupling. I was skeptical that they had actually found time to plant a garden, but apparently, they need food to keep up their strength for more romping. I had also fully expected Frida to fall victim to some deadly misfortune at any moment throughout the entire story, given her rather frivolous disregard for safety, security, and self-preservation, which would undoubtably have given Cal even more reason to doubt his "manhood" and further emotionally emasculate himself. Alas, it was not to be. No ravenous bears materialized to fulfill that expectation and lend some excitement to this tapioca-like post-apocalyptic world. Even the "apocalypse" itself, the one that laid waste to our fine modern civilization, was as bland as white bread with no butter on it. I was left with a vague feeling of disappointment that began early on in this book but I carried on and I finished it, in spite of the glaring lack of bloodthirsty hungry bears. Heck, there weren't even any skunks or raccoons to raid the garden and introduce a little excitement into this "dangerous" world of self-pitying, hand-wringing whiners! The only real danger I could sense here was a real risk of the reader being bored to death! ...more
This book is more real than reality itself. Dark and self-depreciating, it was, when published, a harbinger of the maddening stupidity we are being foThis book is more real than reality itself. Dark and self-depreciating, it was, when published, a harbinger of the maddening stupidity we are being forced to witness in the world of 2021 and beyond.
Matt Groening is The Oracle of our modern times, predicting stuff and nonsense twenty years and more before it happened.
Read this book. Those who know, will not be surprised or disappointed. Those in denial, will be insulted or figure this book is about someone else, not them.
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