**spoiler alert** At long last, I've earned those imaginary geek creds I've been longing for all those years. It's been a long tortuous journey but I'**spoiler alert** At long last, I've earned those imaginary geek creds I've been longing for all those years. It's been a long tortuous journey but I've finally read through the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
My first attempt date back almost 17 years ago when I made it through most of the series but gave up with the interminable ending around Aragorn's crowning. At that point, i thought it had become so saccharine and everything was was coming to such a convenient end I just quit.
Then a friend mentioned the bit in the Shire at the end and I started once more to read the books. That was around the time the movies had come out and I liked those well enough so I gave it a second try. That time I didn't even make it to the council of Elrond.
But last year, I decided to give it another go and I trudged on. Despite the poems, I trudged on. Despite the long seemingly pointless walks, I trudged on. Despite the fact that no one seems overly concerned with the rise of Mordor and the coming of Sauron, I trudged on. And now i can check that item off my bucket list and never read the books again.
I think Tolkien was a genius when it came to languages. He, however, was an amateur when it comes to writing a decent story. The most egregious in this book was the battle at the fields of Pelinor.
In the book this battle was won because Aragorn musters the spirits of the traitorous dead to fight the hordes of Mordor. The dead are never mentioned before they seem indispensable and after the battle, they are never mentioned again. The only other time I've seen such a blatant Deus Ex Machina used the same way was during Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail in the "Holy hand grenade of Antioch" segment. See a problem, lob a grenade, never mention grenade before problem or after resolution.
Overall, it's very hard to care about anyone in the Fellowship of the Ring. Gimli and Legolas are just so much stage dressing and serve little useful purpose, Boromir was a traitor, Aragorn was so perfect he was barely relatable as a character and Gandalf was such a colossal asshat you just wanted to smack him upside the pointy hat ("yes Frodo, you have to WALK to mount doom. Those giant eagles, they're only for show"). The hobbits aren't much better. Sam is so co-dependant it's maddening and Merry and Pippin are just so annoying.
The thing about the trilogies is it's easy to start with a bang and with a decent climax the end isn't too hard to pull off. However, a lot of middlesThe thing about the trilogies is it's easy to start with a bang and with a decent climax the end isn't too hard to pull off. However, a lot of middles wind up as so much forgettable dreck. This second installment in the grand-daddy of all fantasy trilogies however is pretty memorable (in both a good and a bad way).
On the good side, we have Shelob's lair. After a long trudging walk throughout Middle-Earth, Frodo and Sam finally meet with some action. Because, let's face it, their story arc could use with some things to do other than talking and walking in the middle of f'ing nowhere.
On the other hand, Aragorn and the gang turn so much like cheap british stereotypes it almost drove me mad enough to swear alliegeance to the queen. The worst offenders are without a doubt Gimli and Legolas in what's supposed to be one of the most iconic scenes. While surrounded by Uruk-Hais and facing a fight that everyone sees as "doomed" at best, with Saruman affirmed as a traitor and the rise of Sauron things are their bleakest they still have a conversation along the lines of "right-oh! stiff upper lip chaps! spot-oh-tea! we'll just have ourselves a gentlemanly wager, right old chum!". It's like no one stuck inside Helm's Deep realizes how bad things are (or they're stuck inside a Monty Python sketch).
Now that I'm done with this middle, I can proceed to return of the king. Hopefully, this time around I won't give up about 100 page from the end and spend another 20 years feeling like a failure for never finishing the trilogy....more
Never could finish the trilogy and feel I'm losing geek creds for it. Hoping this time I won't quit before I finish the first book.
I think I could comNever could finish the trilogy and feel I'm losing geek creds for it. Hoping this time I won't quit before I finish the first book.
I think I could compare my feeling towards this book to that of a six year old in front of a plate of brocoli. I know it's there, it'not going nowhere and the only way to a better book / dessert is to just go through it.
The first book though is probably my favourite of the bunch. Sure, it has it's flaws. The pacing is slooooow and much of the book is basically devoted to describing an elaborate walk through the woods.
The main reproach I have to the whole Lord of the Rings saga however is that it is impossible to enjoy this book casually. If you don't read about the whole mythos surrounding all these characters you're only getting half the bang for your buck. Characters like Glorfindel and Tom Bombadil who make glorified cameo apperances only come alive in the appendices.
it's also stunning to see how vague everything is. Quick quizz everyone: how tall are dwarves, really? Do elves have pointy ears? Does the Balrog have wings? In fact, what does the Balrog look like at all? If you find answers to any of these questions, please point me to a reference inthe book. The internet yields probably thousands of pages of nerds vociferously defending either position in these questions.
And can somebody explain to me why the Fellowship of the ring pretends to represent the "Free Folk" when, at best, they represent monarchies, a form of government not historically keen on freedom for the masses....more
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