A cannibalistic mermaid with a hard to pronounce name and a plague doctor whose name and gender are never given walk across the taiga from the kingdomA cannibalistic mermaid with a hard to pronounce name and a plague doctor whose name and gender are never given walk across the taiga from the kingdom where a prince impregnated the mermaid and got eaten by their daughters (with everyone else) to no place in particular. On their journey, they encounter some boys playing Hunt the Pig, only it’s another boy they hunt and kill. The plague doctor calls them murderers, but they say no, if they cut out the dead boy’s bezoar and bring it to the three “saints,� they’ll make him good as new. The saints have the ability to replace missing body parts and rebuild bodies, but it’s not clear why they rebuild the kids but also sometimes kill them and use their parts. The plague doctor turns out to know them from way back. Wackiness ensues.
Here are my problems: 1. The writing is extremely flowery and pretentious. Not only are there loads of difficult words in there, the descriptions are weirdly built, relying on nonsensical similes and metaphors. Ironically, the author’s thanks at the end were full of swearing, which I appreciated more. Maybe the writing is a selling point to a lot of readers. It is poetic. Read this if you love poetry.
2. The plot doesn’t really make sense. Wouldn’t the mermaid want to go back in the water when she is finally free? Wouldn’t the mermaid demand the name of her companion? Wouldn’t the plague doctor dislike the mermaid if he dislikes murderers? We are supposed to identify with the narrator, who cannibalizes people, but not the doctor/saints, who also treat people like meat? I didn’t like the story or any of the characters....more
Lynette Tarkington survived a psychotic killer’s bloody rampage by playing possum, impaled on some antlers until the cops arrived. Because if her pastLynette Tarkington survived a psychotic killer’s bloody rampage by playing possum, impaled on some antlers until the cops arrived. Because if her past, she takes more precautions than usual. For instance, she has a go bag. And a another emergency kit. And a car parked away from her house just in case. Two is one and one is none.
She has friends, kind of � the other “final girls� from Dr. Carol’s support group. There’s a Texan debutante who survived a madman in the desert, a lesbian horse rancher whose monster was her own brother, a wheelchair-bound woman who tackled her last attacker out a window, a stoner who was haunted in her dreams a la Freddy Krueger, a summer camp slasher survivor, and their therapist. When Julia arrives at Lynette’s apartment with a reporter in tow and someone starts shooting from outside, Lynette’s over-the-top defense mechanisms start to come in handy. Someone has started targeting all the final girls!
I was really impressed by this book. The theme could have easily been a bunch of puns and snark, but the humor was countered by a really well-told story full of quick thinking and twists, plus additional material like interviews with different characters to round out their stories and film reviews about the slasher genre. I loved Lynette’s voice: she is just enough of a liar to make things interesting and she manages to have compassion for even the worst people....more
In a world where cannibalization has become normalized, it’s a greater crime to make love to or enslave a person bred to be eaten than it is to cut ofIn a world where cannibalization has become normalized, it’s a greater crime to make love to or enslave a person bred to be eaten than it is to cut off their limbs one at a time and eat them. In fact, it isn’t a crime to eat people at all, as long as they don’t have a first and last name.
The main character, Marcos, is no real hero. He dislikes the current state of affairs even though he was one of the people to write the rules about inspections. He works at a processing plant and regularly deals with the worst people imaginable: a butcher, a game reserve warden, a researcher, and his shitty sister who pretends she can’t afford to visit their father in the nursing home, but buys an expensive human to serve to her guests at their father’s memorial. Marcos himself isn’t even referred to by name for the first 30 pages or so. I think this must be intentional to show how strange it is for some people not to use names.
This was probably the most horrific story I have ever read. So much murder and people treating other living beings with cruelty and indifference. When Marcos starts treating a gifted female “head� like a person, I thought he might spearhead some change. But ugh. The end also left me gutted. I still give it 5 stars because I couldn’t put it down....more
What a cool idea, and especially great to read around Christmas. Clara from the Nutcracker as a twin and their weird family acquaintance Drosselmeyer What a cool idea, and especially great to read around Christmas. Clara from the Nutcracker as a twin and their weird family acquaintance Drosselmeyer has done some kind of magic on them, labeling Clara Light and Natasha Dark. It was fun to explore the dark side of the beloved ballet with the Sugar Plum Fairy as the supernatural queen of shadows and evil, and Drosselmeyer as a subvillain.
Don’t read this if you suffer from nightmares easily. There are so many disturbing images.
I didn’t mind that. But what I did mind was being confused (often) as to what was going on and why. ...more
For my daughter, who proooobably shouldn’t be hearing about faces and eyeballs sliding off skulls at age 7, this was a thrill. For me, it was predictaFor my daughter, who proooobably shouldn’t be hearing about faces and eyeballs sliding off skulls at age 7, this was a thrill. For me, it was predictable. The hot summer seems cold at the shady old house, the family dog takes a dislike to the realtor and neighborhood kids, the house seems haunted, neighborhood empty, some kids said they used to live in the house (and now we live up the road toward the cemetery), creepy kids have aversion to sunny days� It reminded me of all those Tales From the Crypt shows I used to watch. ...more
**spoiler alert** I picked this because it was in a list of Halloween suggestions at the library and the cover art is amazing. The general idea is als**spoiler alert** I picked this because it was in a list of Halloween suggestions at the library and the cover art is amazing. The general idea is also cool—sort of Lord of the Flies/Children’s Bible/Girl With All the Gifts/How High We Go in the Dark story about a girls� school dealing with a “Tox,� a parasitic plague they picked up from some melted permafrost after years of higher temperatures. It does things to their bodies and for each person, it’s different. A blind eye for Hetty, a silver hand and glowing hair for Reece, a secondary spine for Byatt. Two (?) years after the CDC invoked a quarantine, the survivors practice shooting, fight over supplies, and dread flare-ups that leave them bleeding and sometimes dead.
Ok, so far, so good. Right?
It even gets better around 70% through, when things get even more dire.
But. The end was so lame. I wanted to know what they would do with those new body parts. Instead, I was confused by the girls sometimes saying they liked the changes and other times risking their lives to get the parasites out. Sometimes they are dead set against doctors experimenting on them and other times talk about a cure like that doesn’t require research. At the very end, one girl seems to have lost her personality along with her parasite and her friends are somehow okay with that? And the Navy has deployed jets to what? Destroy all life on the island? But the pilots just don’t notice the rowboat leaving the island? I just feel like the end was nonsense.
While most witch stories are feminist by default, this one is extra. It’s like Maid mixed with Salem Witch Trials.
Three Weyward women from different While most witch stories are feminist by default, this one is extra. It’s like Maid mixed with Salem Witch Trials.
Three Weyward women from different generations face abuse by men. Three Weyward women learn how to harness their legacy of herbalism and connection to the animal kingdom.
Great read for women who feel alone or powerless....more
Bellatine and Isaac Yaga are Baba Yaga‘s great-grandchildren and they don’t even know it. They do know magic, however, in the forms of Isaac‘s uncannyBellatine and Isaac Yaga are Baba Yaga‘s great-grandchildren and they don’t even know it. They do know magic, however, in the forms of Isaac‘s uncanny ability to shapeshifter into other people and Bellatine‘s life-giving embering hands.
When their great-grandma‘s house on chicken legs becomes their joint inheritance, things get weird. Ok, weirder than they already were. In this world, a house on legs isn’t unusual enough to make headlines. The siblings decide to take Thistlefoot on tour—not as the attraction, but as a stage for their parents� old puppet show. A suspicious Russian with a flask full of bad juju starts trailing them and turns regular people evil. A trio of musicians/do-gooder weirdos decides to stop the Russian and gets involved with the Yagas. And Winnie, the statue-turned-real from Greenmount Cemetery!
I enjoyed the house the most. Wouldn’t you just love a walking house with a garden on the roof?
I’m still having trouble with a “they/them� character (this is the second book I’ve read with one). It is distracting. I keep thinking it means multiple people. ...more
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