Sue Klebold's narrative is extremely difficult to relate to and empathize with. This book reads like a taut justification defending how good her familSue Klebold's narrative is extremely difficult to relate to and empathize with. This book reads like a taut justification defending how good her family is, while very subtly hinting at how "others" live:
"I hadn't even been one of those cool parents who smokes pot with their kids or introduces them to their groovy boyfriends." (119).
So what's she saying here about single moms? Hmm...
From the first chapters, which begin on the day of the shooting, the author focuses specifically on her own image: "I had taken pleasure in being an active and respected part of my community, in being thought of as a good mom. The censure beginning to emerge was excruciating." (44).
This is a mom who, the day after the Columbine massacre and suicide of her mass murdering son, went to the salon to keep her standing hair appointment. She was worried about how she would look at his funeral, and says so. (But says earlier that she actually prayed he would commit suicide if he was killing people at his school. Another example of a hard to understand contradiction). Let me just stop here a moment. Let's go there. Let's imagine you're a parent. You learn increasingly horrific acts are happening at your kid's school. You then learn your child may be doing it. You learn your kid is dead. Are you even aware of other people, or what they think of you? Are you concerned with how you look, whether you need a haircut? If you can relate to this line of thinking, hats off. But this is not remotely relatable to me on any level. The narrative speaks to every excruciating angle: are they being good house guests while staying with family, can she get her hair cut, What? No, I can not at all empathize or even get on a level where this is remotely imaginable.
As a victim, she plays the part well; at least she thinks so. It simply doesn't feel genuine. It feels desperate and forced, as one tries desperately to cajole, manipulate, and MAKE OTHERS BELIEVE what she believes. Sorry. I don't. Aside from snide remarks at single parents, there are numerous mentions of "this doesn't happen here," as Sue Klebold repeatedly makes mention of finally finding peers she can engage with who are "normal": professionals, with etiquette. White privileged elitism at it's finest, while she claims despite her own microaggressions against others that her children weren't raised to hate anyone.
Aside from her blatant attempts at justifications and fixation on her self and how she and her family look, there is a great danger here in her understanding of mental health. Throughout her own need to understand her son's actions, she skips the psychopathy and obvious deceit almost completely and decides he was depressed and impressionable. This makes inference throughout that one who is suicidal can just as easily become a mass murderer. This. Is. Not. The. Case. As much as this woman name dropped and interviewed people for her own angles, there is NO LINK AT ALL that suicidal people may become homicidal as a regular or likely occurrence. Very rarely (perhaps 2-5%) of suicidal people are also homicidal. She also conveniently leaves out that most people with mental disorders that are diagnosed (while living, not post humorously) are more likely to be victims of violence. Not perpetrators. She also annoyingly decides to call "mental health" "brain health" throughout the book, only explaining about half-way the reasons for it. She claims it may reduce stigma. To me, it looks more like she is attention seeking, in her subtle way.
Post mortem mental health diagnoses for her son, the strange and dangerous link between suicidality and planned, premeditated, and deliberate murder. I find this book to be more harmful and uninformed than helpful, despite her repeatedly mentioned reasons for writing the book. I am one person, but my experience is that this book is an insult to a number of people: survivors of Columbine and other violent shootings; parents who have lost children to violence; parents who have lost children to any reason: and the field of mental health.
Mourning and finding your own personal meaning is one thing. But this book should not have been published.
Never underestimate the power of denial, and skip this book....more
**spoiler alert** This work initially is gripping and very human: until you get to the end, and the protagonist is simply sexually abusing a 14 year-o**spoiler alert** This work initially is gripping and very human: until you get to the end, and the protagonist is simply sexually abusing a 14 year-old girl when he is elderly, who kills herself. This leaves the abuser to his lifelong obsession, a woman he’s been hung up on since childhood. She happens to now be a widow, and they become companions.
If you want to read a classical piece of literature where women and girls simply exist as objects to abuse without consequence, or without an identity outside of the man’s needs and perversions, here’s one of a million such pieces to satisfy that urge. ...more
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