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What is it about epic Indian tragedies and self-centered men?

First of all, I'd like to talk about how, even though every review talks about caste being the main theme in this book, it is not really at the forefront. In fact, a direct discussion about the caste system only happens twice through out.
Something about Chander and Sudha is way more tragic to me than the other tragedies I've read - probably because both of them refuse to acknowledge that they're in love with each other until it's too late. It is denial through and through probably because the caste system is so ingrained into them that they dare not even consider the possibility of fighting it. And that to me reflects more on the timeline of the novel more than anything.

I have to talk about the characters. Chander's character was irksome at best for me throughout the novel. The man is selfish, self-centered, hypocritical. His gratitude for Dr. Shukla is probably what propels his sense of nobility when he 'persuades' (read: emotionally manipulates) Sudha to get married. After that, it's all about his struggle, his failures, his jealousy, his dukh-bhari kahani, how Sudha will wash away his sadness. He takes people who care about him for granted, and treats them will very little respect. He is a flawed character for whom I have no love. And his flaws are addressed in the novel in one scary chapter.
(view spoiler)[The next is Sudha. I have so much love and tears for her. This novel seemed like a conspiracy to drive this woman to death. Since the story was told through Chander's eyes, I was curious how Sudha would turn out every time she returned. Marital rape was probably never acknowledged back then, and though it never was spoken about in the novel in an outright manner, Sudha was subjected to some subtle abuse. In the end, she says

I begged you, pleaded with you, looked at my condition. But did that matter to you?

Was she talking about her pregnancy here? Because it is not uncommon for the family to pressurize the woman into it.

Then I realized that Hindu women are so helpless, they endure so much humiliation and contempt from their husbands and sons, that if they didn't fall back on puja, they would turn into animals. It is puja that has allowed the Hindu woman to retain her nobility.

It saddens me that almost seventy years later, this quote is still relevant.
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The females in this novel are the best part of it. Even though Chander is the main narrator, we get to read about these complex women who enter his life and change it in some way. Binti, Gesu, Pammi and Buaji too.

Yes, it is primarily a love story. But there is so much more being addressed.

I have so much to say about this novel, and my thoughts are too scattered to organize it mostly because there is so much in here that could be discussed. If anyone is interested in discussing this novel, message me.