欧宝娱乐

It was August in the year 2000. I was about to enter the room for my final exam. This was the introduction to Unix and it was coming to an end.

So was I.

Tears flowing copiously, leaning over the second floor balcony, I was overcome with darkness, the likes of which I had never experienced before.

I finished the exam and could not gather myself. I had no reason for living. In my grief I recalled an earlier experience of incredible bliss following a near death/drowning experience at Luther Burbank Park during my first visit to Seattle in 1977. The water was calling me to her. I could taste her and the light drew me near. I kept remembering the bliss of that day as I sank deeper into the lake my last breath bubbling to the surface and the incredible softness and beauty of the afternoon sun reaching below the surface and I in total surrender, enveloped by her. By brother pushed me to the surface that afternoon and with the aid of the lifeguard revived me. It wasn't my time.

The bliss was calling again and I was ready. I set up a meeting with my best friend at the time. A last beer together. Goodbyes. Again, it wasn't my time.

A month later, this book was sitting in the lunchroom at my place of work. I brought it home and read it and saw myself in the pages looking back at me. It would be a couple of months before I regained my appetite for living.

Looking back I've had a major episode of depression at about every 15 years. None were as deep and despairing as this last one.

There was something about this slim volume that really helped in the immediate post-suicidal period when I was in a sort of purgatory, a daze, a grey zone between the worlds.

I'm better now, thanks to caring friends and divine intervention. I have a zest for life, interesting projects, friends, and community. Just like before. But I am different for having the experience I had.

Here is hope that your days are full of light.