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As I was reading this play my old and used copy of it was literally falling apart. With each page that I turned the binding loosened more and more... and honestly, I'm not even mad. By reading this I lost part of my faith in Willie Shakes. When I first got into his work I was highly entertained by his comedies, they were all super accessible and very quick reads (definitely not as dense as his histories) and on top of that quite light and fun (unlike his tragedies). However, the more comedies I read the more I despise them. I can't believe I'm saying this but they are too foolish for me. Most of them are so silly and ridiculous that it's almost depressing.

In Love's Labour's Lost the King of Navarre and three of his homeboys pledge to foreswear women and other earthly pleasures. For three years, they want to commit their lives to academia and study. No women, not much food, not much sleep. Dumaine and Longueville agree immediately (probably because they have no backbone... because honestly who in their right mind would agree to that? 3 fucking years? Call me out.) but Berowne is like "nah, bitch" I just like pussy too much (which is relatable of course but why was he then so easily persuaded to take the oath nonetheless). Whatever.

Pretty soon it becomes clear that the King doesn't even have a fucking brain cell because part of his rules and oath is that no women are allowed at his court (well who's cooking the food then? sorry, I'm taking my sexist ass out myself. thank you.) and the Princess of France is already on her way to visit him. What you gonna do with her? Let her sleep on the porch and risk another war between France and your tiny ass kingdom. Stupid ass. So, immediately, not even a week after his oath, the King breaks his rules by admitting the princess and her ladies to his court.

What then ensues takes fuckery to a whole 'nother level: the Princess comes with three other ladies, well, what a fucking surprise that the King has three minions as well. Berowne and Rosaline are immediately enamoured with each other, Dumaine and Katharine hit it off, Longueville and Maria are and item and the Princess and the King cannot fight their sexual tension. And I'm left there standing like: BITCH YOU HAD ONE JOB.

Adieu, valour: rust, rapier: be still, drum, for your manager is in love: yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit: write, pen, for I am for whole volumes in folio.

The men, being men, don't want to admit to each other that they have broken their oaths and so they claim that they haven't fallen in love. None of them are convincing and so rather quickly and openly the King proclaims that it's now time to woe this women for good. Like??? Two days ago you wanted to start your three-year-celibacy, what happened to that, bro?

We are then exposed to the most cringy courtship I've ever seen in my life... way too many cheesy love sonnets (Willie I know for a fact that you can better than this: “Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but love.� I mean, count me out) and masquerades in which the ladies try to trick the men... and I'm like, you ain't the merry wives of Windsor, you cannot pull this off. Bye.

And then at the end Willie wants to be awfully clever by denying us four weddings (he was probably working on a budget... I mean these marriages are costly to stage, let's be real) and the ladies have to rush off in a hurry since it is announced that the Princess's father has just passed away. The ladies tell they men that they won't be available for a year but if the men are still interested in them in 365 years (...I doubt it) they'll all marry them. I mean... I can't make that shit up.

Love's Labour's Lost starts disappointingly and ends in the same fashion. Not a play I would recommend. The structure is beyond wild: the first three acts are incredibly short, the fourth act is considerably longer and then the fifth act features the longest scene in Shakespeare's entire canon. Yes, that scene alone is longer than most full acts in Shakespeare's canon. My man, what are you doing? The play also features one of the most obnoxious and annoying characters in Shakespeare's canon, the Latin master Holofernes who speaks the longest words ever uttered in Shakespeare's canon. That word is "honorificabilitudinitatibus". Shoot me.