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I wanted to like this book; Tobia came to a bookstore in my hometown (Wichita, KS) in April, and I got to finally experience being in a room with 100+ locals who believe my gender is real, which was an incredible, affirming, unforgettable experience.

But this book is...the nicest thing I can say is Not For Me. First, it's in dire need of better editing: Tobia tends to rattle off three or four one-liners when one would do (and be funnier), and there's a lot of other material that should've been condensed or skipped entirely. (Like multiple drafts of their college entrance essay, I can't.)

Second, there's some dangerous bullshit in here, especially for a trans activist to be repeating: e.g., the idea that dudes who bully people they don't see as sufficiently masculine secretly want to fuck them. REALLY, THEY SAY THIS MORE THAN ONCE. And then there's "trans people don't bleed blood. We bleed glitter," which almost made me throw the book across the room. NOPE, JACOB, I BLEED BLOOD AND SO DO YOU.

There's some good stuff in here, mostly the first two chapters on early childhood and their relationship with Christianity, both of which I found relatable to my own Catholic-y non-binary experience. But what's missing for me is a sense of their internal gender journey: they just suddenly start identifying as genderqueer, and then go right back to reeling off their accomplishments like they're still applying for college: "And then I became THE trans celebrity at Duke, and then I ran across the Brooklyn Bridge in heels and I was on MSNBC, and then I went to a White House dinner and met Obama and OMG can I just go on about how hot he is for like two paragraphs?" They're also utterly tone-deaf about their class privilege; did they really think most trans readers would be like "Wow, I really relate to this person, I, too, feel like my gender held me back from getting a Rhodes scholarship?"

Okay, last thing, and this is the most baffling to me: I don't think they mention a single trans friend by name. How can you position yourself as part of a community when you don't talk about the people who give you that community?