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Dahlings! Cruella De Vil here. You may wonder what an icon like me is doing here, on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ. Just to be clear, I don't have an account for this foolish website and I won't have one in the near future. Instead, I decided to annoy a French reader of Serena Valentino, Hugo, while he was writing an annoying review of my MARVELLOUS MEMOIR. You know what people say: You are never as well served as when you serve yourself. That's why I decided that I will write an amazing review of my own book( and this is also the reason why this book is told by me unlike the rest of Serena's series which is by the way, not as good or interesting as my novel).

Okay, duckies. Now you are probably wondering how ME and well, this gothic woman with her horrible dog Gozer met. Let's say our relationship is as complex as the one I have with Anita. You know, the dishrag that married a foolish songwriter after his stupid dog threw them both in the pond.
The answers to those questions are in EVIL THING: A TALE OF THAT DEVIL WOMAN. I know... This title sucks. It should have been: Cruella De Vil: The fashion girl we all deserve and need.

Just to be clear, forget those stupid fairies, those odd and ugly creepy triplets sisters or all the other nonsense you've been known. My life is in London, in the 1920s, in the mansion of my family, in Miss Upturn's Academy, in a beautiful estate and finally in Hell Hall( it wasn't always its real name, dears. But you will have to read my book to know why). That's right: No spoilers, only teasers.

This absolute masterpiece will reveal all about my childhood, my relationship with my parents ( both of them were very different), how I handled dim-witted servants, how I was kind to a stupid girl named Anita as well as the origins behind my love for furs. But that's just the beginning. We start the story when I'm eleven, then we're arriving at my sixteenth, seventeenth and twentyfifth birthday. ( I hate time jumps. They were sooo many details we could have told about me and we should have explored every year of my life but this brat Serena refused. And she didn't want my story to be divided in three- uh I mean- tenth books- hell to a series of its own. Though I'm much more interesting than an old witch who wants to stay young with a golden flower ( and yet her book is the longest in the series, ugh).

This installment is obviously the best one in the series. It's in the real world, it's about me, told by myself... And Serena Valentino did an amazing job by transliterating my beautiful life. I would say she is a talented one and I might consider inviting her to the signing in Hell Hall. About that, duckies, preorder my book! Buy it, rate it, review it and make sure I can use the royalties to buy furs, a new car, gin, jazz records, diamonds and other treats for myself. And Serena Valentino deserves it too for her brilliant ideas through the series. When I was coughing because of smoke or couldn't express my feelings well, she helped me so that it would felt authentic in the book. AND she brought someone at my place: an inn-between to save me from a moron. That sounds strange, isn't it? It's a private joke. Don't pay attention to those white rats and their insipid owners or to the two bloody fools of henchmen I mistakenly hired. Of course, they are in this story but the most important part is the before and... well the after of it.

You will have to decide if I'm responsible for my acts ( I'm not, of course) and if I deserve recognition and success ( I do!).

Don't forget something, sweeties: Distinguish yourselves. It's the most important message in this book.

Cheerio. Cheerio dahlings. I know you're not imbeciles nor idiots or fools and will read this magical turn page book that I've read in one sitting, about the dreams and descent into madness of an emblematic character.