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SILENUS Here's my advice, Polyphemus: don't chew the fat
with the likes of him, that is, unless the fat you chew
is his. I wouldn't let a bit of him be wasted, sir, if I were you.
And after every delicacy's done, and finally you put his tongue
into your mouth, just think how many tongues you'll speak in, then,
preeminent Polyphemus, and all of them as eloquent as his.

(view spoiler)[Alas for me, this barnyard's
far from Dionysian—nota wine-god to be found, ?o no dancing, no amazing wands or holy ecstasies,
no drums or fountainheads of youth, no wineskin's savor.
Not a single mountain Nymph with whom
to strike up drinking songs
for the goddess Aphrodite. Ah, (hide spoiler)]
(view spoiler)[SILENUS I greet you, stranger, in return. But tell me what's your name, and nation.
ODYSSEUS I am the lord of Cephallene, from Ithaca. My name's Odysseus.
SILENUS (aside) I've heard of this guy—he's a sponger if I ever saw one!
Son of Sisyphus, the famous pusher. no
ODYSSEUS I am the son of Sisyphus—but spare us the aspersions. (hide spoiler)]
(view spoiler)[CHORUS LEADER Did you really take Troy, and then take Helen too?
ODYSSEUS We laid waste to the whole of Priam's house.
CHORUS LEADER And tell us, once you had the girl, did you take turns with her?�
the traitoress, craving such multitudes beyond her mate! One look at all those fancy breeches, foreign colors, gold around his neck, and she was in a fever,
sure as sin, and hapless Menelaus left behind,
poor man. Ah, womankind! I say let all of them go down�
and preferably on me! (hide spoiler)]
(view spoiler)[CYCLOPS You don't say. (To SILENUS) You there! On the double! Sharpen up
my carving knives and get a good blaze going on the hearth.
(SILENUS makes a movement toward the cave) I'll slaughter these offenders
in a flash, and have my fill of them. I think I'll serve one up
as barbecue, straight off the coals; the others should be
delicately braised —for tenderness's sake. I've had
too many mountain meals —enough of lions, 280 deer and such. It's far too long since I enjoyed a man.
SILENUS After so much ordinary venison, my lord, variety is pleasant.
Indeed, it's quite a while since we had guests for dinner.
(hide spoiler)]
Good copout: (view spoiler)[CHORUS LEADER Now tell us, when we have our hands there
on the firebrand, who should be first to grip it, who the second? Under the Cyclops' eyebrow,
actually to grind his lights to dust, just
how shall this huge instrument be handled?
....
CHORUS LEADER Before we go, could you explain exactly how we are to hold the stake
while burning out his eye?
LEADER OF CHORUS A I think my standing too far from the door would not be so effective.
LEADER OF CHORUS B I think I'm suffering from leg cramps.
LEADER OF CHORUS A I think I got a sprain myself, I can't think how.
ODYSSEUS You -sprained your leg while standing there?
LEADER OF CHORUS A Apparently. And now there are 710 some ashes in my eye.
ODYSSEUS My cohorts are turning to cowards.
CHORUS LEADER So it's cowardice to want to save my neck? to want my teeth intact?
I'd rather be a coward then, in fact� for people hurt you when you're brave.
I know an Orphic spell that I could train
on the firebrand, till it rises of its own 720 accord, marches to the Cyclops' skullbone —and then
pow!—it bursts the bastard into flames.
ODYSSEUS I always thought you might be of this kind. It's true: you are untrue. My friends
will be my only surety, at last, before this awful beast.
And you—who find no arms to lend�
can help with some encouragement at least.
Exit ODYSSEUS into the cave.
CHORUS LEADER As long as his own mercenaries
run our risk for us, we'll do the cheerleading. 730
Death to the Cyclops! Let the sucker burn!
CHORUS Hooray for heroes! Stick it to him good!
Tighten the screws on the son of a bitch!
Burn his lookout station down! That's right,
that's right! incinerate the sinner! Ram your point straight home! Not one more guest for dinner! Atta boy, Odysseus! Drive it in, and pull it out, you'll turn the
tables on
his awful appetite. Skewer him deep, past lash and brow; impale his every view. But turn his lights out
as you go: don't let him get 740 a lash at you.
(hide spoiler)]
uhoh (view spoiler)[CYCLOPS Ahoy, ahoy! I nearly drowned in there. What pleasure 1am feeling—I see earth and heaven whirlpooling together. There's the throne of Zeus and all his wheeling retinues!
I think I'll give them each a kiss. I'm feeling quite seduced. eso But I'll be damned if any of those Graces gets me —not a chance! Instead, I'll take this charmer of a Ganymede to
bed. He suits me better. Boys are always more appealing.
SILENUS Who are you talking about? Not me, I hope?
CYCLOPS Oh yes, by Zeus, from whom I'm now about to spirit you away!
SILENUS My sons, I'm done for! This is a fate worse than death.
CYCLOPS You do not like your lovers drunk?
SILENUS By god, the taste of wine is turning sour on me. (hide spoiler)]