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"Listen Indians, even though this is your homeland and you outnumber the British occupier by a ratio of more than 1: 10,000. Please dont pick up guns, swords, knives, axes etc to fight off the British looter. Dont kill the British occupier, looting your motherland, enslaving your future generations and reducing your economic status to a puppet beggar state. No, dont do it. Please dont do what the americans did to them in the events leading upto 4th of July 1776. No, dont read about the American revolution. Read about me. Practice what I preach. Shun all violence. Yes, thats good. Never retaliate. If someone slaps you, offer the other cheek. Thats the humane swaraj, I believe in. Of course it is practical! Well of course it will work!! Our non-violence and our voluntary decision to suffer our slavery would finally melt the heart of the british occupier. He will be moved to guilty tears and will one day leave our country and we will live in peace for ever and ever. You question what I just told you? What? You dont want to believe the MAHATMA?

*sigh*
You still dont get it, do you? Hey bhagwan!
*sigh*
Ishwar-allah tero naam, sabko sanmati de bhagwaan!!
*deep breath*
*exhale*

Are you still here?
*Gets up and starts walking*

How dare you try to tell me that it was my Khilafat movement, my appeasement of PeAceFulz and my one sided ahinsa that ultimately led to partition of India and creation of Islamic Republic of Pakistan, over the dead bodies of millions of Hindus?

LOWER DOWN YOUR GUN, NATHU! Come on, now! Do we want violence against our enemies now? Hain?? HAIN!!??"