Fredrik's Reviews > Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
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by

This book is brilliant. Seldom are there any "self-help" type of books that are worth reading. This one is. That is because it isn't really a self-help book, but rather an instruction manual with examples and stories. The title does not do this book justice.
Chris Voss goes through his time as a hostage negotier and what both he and the FBI have learned over the years. He goes through tactics that almost always work and tactics that never work.
He does so brilliantly and with many good examples. His "tricks" are shown in easy to do steps and with clear descriptions on what the goal is.
One thing I did find a bit irritating, and not really in line with reality, is the whole "fairness" and how we act against our own best interest in the pursuit of "fairness".
Most of the times, it would set a precedent if you accept bad deals or someones behavior. Iran was used as an example. If Iran had let themselves just be overruled when it comes to Nuclear, they (rightfully) thought it would open up for other demands being made with the same leverage. They have experience in the west using similar tactics before.
So in many ways it "self-defense", or an attempt at it, and not "fairness" which is the main driver.
It is the same with the monkey who went "bananas" when she/he didn't receive the same kind of treat as the other one. Taking that laying down might open up for it to continue. Reacting to un-fairness or just reacting to getting f**ked and showing what happens if it repeats itself?
Don't be fooled by the title of this book. This book is for everyone in all situations.
When Voss talks about negotiating and what works, 80% of it is just being a better human being. Be a better listener, show empathy, try to understand their situation and life. These aren't as much tactics for negotiations, but for life in general!
Probably need to read this again while taking notes!
Edit: Added a bit about fairness.
Chris Voss goes through his time as a hostage negotier and what both he and the FBI have learned over the years. He goes through tactics that almost always work and tactics that never work.
He does so brilliantly and with many good examples. His "tricks" are shown in easy to do steps and with clear descriptions on what the goal is.
One thing I did find a bit irritating, and not really in line with reality, is the whole "fairness" and how we act against our own best interest in the pursuit of "fairness".
Most of the times, it would set a precedent if you accept bad deals or someones behavior. Iran was used as an example. If Iran had let themselves just be overruled when it comes to Nuclear, they (rightfully) thought it would open up for other demands being made with the same leverage. They have experience in the west using similar tactics before.
So in many ways it "self-defense", or an attempt at it, and not "fairness" which is the main driver.
It is the same with the monkey who went "bananas" when she/he didn't receive the same kind of treat as the other one. Taking that laying down might open up for it to continue. Reacting to un-fairness or just reacting to getting f**ked and showing what happens if it repeats itself?
Don't be fooled by the title of this book. This book is for everyone in all situations.
When Voss talks about negotiating and what works, 80% of it is just being a better human being. Be a better listener, show empathy, try to understand their situation and life. These aren't as much tactics for negotiations, but for life in general!
Probably need to read this again while taking notes!
Edit: Added a bit about fairness.
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Never Split the Difference.
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Reading Progress
October 25, 2021
–
Started Reading
October 27, 2021
– Shelved
October 27, 2021
–
Finished Reading