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“was it my idea to have him hurt me, or did he just let me think it was?��

it’s women’s history month, so i’m starting the month with boy parts.

boy parts follows irina, a photographer who takes fetishistic and explicit photos of men she scouts as her models. she is narcissistic and manipulative and is hyperaware of the power she holds over men and people in general. she knows how to control a situation so she has the upper hand in every situation. the book begins when she gets an offer to exhibit her work at an art gallery. from here, we see glimpses of her past in fleeting hallucinatory and hazy flashbacks where there is no definitive line between imagination and reality.

the book is told in first person, which does fantastically in distorting the story even further, as she is as unreliable as a narrator can go. it’s very unhinged, very american psycho-esque, and i loved every page of it. irina is baiscally patrick bateman. she is equally cruel and violent to herself as she is cruel and violent to others, destructive as much as she is self destructive. while she has no regard for any sort of moral consequence, she has elusive moments of reflection where you almost feel sympathetic towards her. almost.

one of the reasons why i loved this book so much was that it was brilliantly written. the writing is not flowery or complicated in any way, but the way clark manages to weave in implied social commentary on gender roles and the male gaze is insane. with more accounts of male photographers abusing their power over female models (emily ratajowski, for example), this power dynamic is flipped on its head when irina pays no heed to her models who are essentially her victims. by subverting this structure, clark shines a light on both toxic masculinity and trauma alike.

it is hinted that irina has become this way because she suffered sexual abuse in her childhood and teenage years. this is a portrayal of how many people, men especially, who were previously abused in the past, become abusers. this is just one of the ways gender roles are twisted and distorted to allow us to see power disparities in real life for what they really are and provides a space for reflection.

what i was surprised to love were the plethora of pop culture references. i usually don’t like when books are so boldly twenty-first century, but the way they were laced in felt natural and didn’t ruin the flow of the narrative.

boy parts is thrilling and gross and visceral, and i enjoyed every single moment of it.

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reread 2023

eliza clark i love you this is still so so good

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pre-read
this feels like everything i love in a book so i'm going in with high hopes.

i've also only heard good things about it so it better not let me down or i may never recover again.