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Saul Bellow wrote Dangling Man when he was about my age and as I read, I recognized some of the thoughts and realizations that Joseph is having. For example, Joseph sees a clear difference between his current self and his younger (college-age) self. There is also the struggle with society's sense that professional progress is the end-all be-all for 20-somethings and that being stalled or focusing on other things means you're "dangling."

I liked this very much about the book because it felt very honest and authentic, both things that are absolutely necessary given that the novel's format is a personal journal. Apart from the very lengthy entires that got into actual story-telling and scene-setting (complete with characterization and dialogue) I really felt I was reading the sometimes inane, sometimes insightful musings, of a man in his late 20s, and I appreciate that perspective. 20 years from now, I might find this book simplistic or sophomoric, who knows?

In one early entry, Joseph writes:

"Trouble, like physical pain, makes us actively aware that we are living, and when there is little in the life we lead to hold and draw and stir us, we seek and cherish it, preferring embarrassment or pain to indifference."

While I haven't quite experienced this (I was never one to get in too much trouble) it resonates with me because it makes me muse a bit on adolescent rebellion - where it comes from and why it happens. Biologically speaking, we're all grown up at 14-16, but we still live a non-adult existence (in the US, anyway) until about 22 and often longer. The world is still closed to us at that age in a lot of ways and when we aren't part of life, we need some other way to feel alive.

There's a later moment when Joseph is conducting a mental conversation with "the spirit of alternatives" and the spirit notes that part of Joseph's problem is that he forgets that "everyone is dangling." This struck me too - I've often had the thought that life entails a lot of waiting -- "dangling".

I feel as though we're socialized as kids to see our childhood and adolescence as preparation for life in 'the real world.' We study hard and do activities and pick up good habits to prepare for 'life.' Then in adulthood, our first job sets us up for the next as we climb the career ladder, and our relationships flow from dating to marriage to having babies. It's unclear when the waiting stops and life begins, so we're all 'dangling' somehow.

Continuing down this rabbit hole (and away from Dangling Man), it strikes me that the problem is the all-encompassing linearity (linear-ness?) of our thinking. Life's blossoming is messy and free-flowing - why do we pretend it's a linear process and that the time we spend between rungs of the ladder is just preparing or waiting?

Themes: idleness, spiritual health, change of character, self-esteem, 1940s, Chicago, friendship, war, journal