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A book written by an author about her father after his death will always be an emotional one. But this book is something different as it belongs to the category of therapeutic writing. Ernaux also talks about this therapeutic writing beautifully in her other book, A Woman's Story.

It is difficult to write about our loved ones after their death during the time of grief as we will have to relive our memories which will make us happy and sad at the same time.

This book though short, tells us a lot about the family life of hardworking people in France. Annie calls her writing style a neutral way of writing. She shares all the thoughts that went through her mind while writing this book

"In order to tell the story of a life governed by necessity, I have no right to adopt an artistic approach, or attempt to produce something 'moving' or 'gripping'. I shall collate my father's words, tastes and mannerisms, the main events of his life, all the external evidence of his existence, an existence which I too shared.

No lyrical reminiscences, no triumphant displays of irony. This neutral way of writing comes to me naturally, it is the very same style I used when I wrote home telling my parents the latest news."

What I learned from this book
1) Grief at the loss of a loved one
We can see how people in France expressed their feelings at the loss of a loved one in this book and why and how Annie's family did it differently from the general conventions at that time.

"In distinguished society, grief at the loss of a loved one is expressed through tears, silence and dignity. The social conventions observed by my mother, and for that matter the rest of the neighborhood, had nothing to do with dignity."

2)What is Fractured love?
We can see Ernaux thinking about writing about her father while waiting for news of her first job. Her words truly reflect the complicated relationship she had with her family.

"I thought to myself: 'One day I shall have to explain all this.' What I meant was, to write about my father, his life and the distance which had come between us during my adolescence. Although it had something to do with class, it was different, indefinable. Like fractured love."

3) Why was Annie's father afraid of the fear of being ashamed?
What would you do if you were stuck in a train's first-class compartment with people who enjoyed the highest position in society? It is your personality that determines how you handle the situation. It is precisely the thing that Ernaux's father was afraid of. We can see the pain he went through in similar situations in multiple parts of this book.

"His motto: Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.
Always this fear of being ashamed, out of place."

4) What is the role of education in building the confidence of an individual?
Ernaux's father had to leave school at the age of twelve to work on a farm due to his family's financial situation. We can see how much he loved learning from the author's words. His lack of proper education affected his confidence and caused a lot of friction in his relationship with his daughter (author).

"I realize now that anything to do with language was a source of resentment and distress, far more than money."

5) What was the raison d’être of Annie’s fathers existence?
We can see the author deciphering something complicated yet simple about her father's life in this book.

"His greatest satisfaction, possibly even the raison d’être of his existence, was the fact that I belonged to the world which had scorned him.
He liked to sing: C'est l'aviron qui nous mène en rond � 'The paddle that is rowing us in circles'"

What could have been better?
I have been confused with the type of relationship the author had with her father, especially in the initial part of this book. Did she actually love him or hate him? I know love is a complicated feeling that can't be explained by objective answers. Still, I felt that the author should have written that portion in a better way. I don't know whether the author was actually confused about her love towards her father due to the grief associated with her father's death or whether the central idea was lost in translation.

The author also faces the same problem in her book about her mother, A Woman's story. In that case, she beautifully addresses the problem and makes things clear to the reader. The same maturity is sadly missing in this book.

Rating
4/5 This is the first time I am reading a book that is considered therapeutic writing by the author. I think it will give readers a different reading experience compared to other memoirs.


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